There’s a particular kind of grit that comes with chasing a dream. We love to imagine it looks like early morning coffee, crisp planners, and perfectly color-coded calendars. But more often? It looks like forgetting to do your make up in the morning, an ever growing to do list, and you googling things like “how do small business taxes even work??” at 1:43 a.m.
At least, that’s been my experience.
When I first decided to start my own business, I thought the hard part would be the leap, the “yes” moment of committing. I have a master’s degree in social work, after all. I know how to put in effort, write long papers, and juggle competing deadlines. But what I didn’t know at the time was that starting a business has less to do with your shiny diplomas and more to do with your tolerance for uncertainty.
And spreadsheets. So many spreadsheets.
The Unexpected Curriculum
Here’s the thing no one told me when I hung out my proverbial shingle: running a business isn’t just doing the work you’re trained for. It’s marketing. It’s budgeting. It’s answering emails without throwing your laptop out the window when you become overwhelmed.
There have been days where I thought, “Maybe I should’ve gone for an MBA instead,” because suddenly I’m learning about SEO, website analytics, and why my carefully written social media post only reached three people (two of which were my mom and my sister).
I didn’t expect to be stretched in so many directions at once. But somewhere along the way, I realized that every spreadsheet conquered, every awkward networking event survived, and every late-night “YouTube crash course in branding” is not just a skill gained; it’s evidence of perseverance.
The Myth of Straight Lines
I’ll be honest: I’m a “goal person.” Always have been. There’s a thrill in setting a finish line and then running toward it with laser focus. But the problem with laser focus is that you miss everything happening around you. The flowers along the path. The unexpected detours. The side quests.
When I started this business, I wanted to sprint. Set it up, succeed immediately, then coast on the satisfaction of a dream realized. But that’s not how growth works.
Instead, it looks more like two steps forward, one step back, and then an unplanned sideways shuffle because some new challenge popped up. It’s messy. It’s nonlinear. And if you only measure yourself against the end goal, you’re going to feel like you’re failing most of the time.
Setbacks ≠ Failure
There’s this dangerous narrative out there that if you’re not crushing your goals 24/7, you’re doing it wrong. I call nonsense.
Setbacks are not failure; they’re part of the process. And boy is it a process!
That day you spent spinning your wheels on a project that went nowhere? You learned something. The week you felt unmotivated and questioned if you were even cut out for this? That’s not wasted time, that’s recovery. Muscles grow in rest, not constant strain.
The truth is, perseverance isn’t about never stumbling. It’s about stumbling, catching your breath, and saying, “Well, that was humbling,” before you get up and try again.
Kindness Along the Way
Here’s where I’ve had to check myself: I’m quick to extend kindness to others, but when it comes to me, I have a default setting of “be harder, push more, no excuses.” That mindset can be useful when you’re grinding out a degree or chasing a deadline, but in long-haul pursuits like building a business? It’s a recipe for burnout. And honestly, as a therapist I need to practice what I preach.
If a friend told me they were exhausted from learning ten new skills at once, would I say, “Well, tough luck, push harder”? No. I’d probably say, “Wow, you’ve already stretched so much. Celebrate that, then rest.”
And maybe I’d hand them a cookie.
So why is it so hard to give ourselves that same gentleness? Maybe because we think perseverance has to look like suffering. But what if true perseverance includes kindness? What if the only way to keep going is to balance the push with the pause?
Embracing the Journey
Here’s what I’ve learned: success isn’t just reaching the goal. Success is in the stretch. In the skills I never thought I’d learn. In the ways I’ve been humbled, refined, and sometimes (begrudgingly) patient.
Don’t get me wrong, I still want the goal. I still picture what it’ll feel like when all the pieces finally fit together. But I’m learning to appreciate the scenery on the way. To actually stop and smell the flowers (sometimes literally, when I escape to my garden after too many hours at my laptop).
Because the truth is, if you’re only happy at the finish line, you’re going to spend most of your life discontent. Goals take time. Growth takes time. And joy doesn’t live exclusively in the future, it’s right here in the messy middle, if we let ourselves see it.
Final Thoughts
So if you’re in the thick of pursuing something big, whether that’s starting a business, chasing a personal dream, or just trying to hold it together during a tough season, here’s what I want you to know:
- Perseverance isn’t a straight line.
- Setbacks don’t mean failure.
- You deserve kindness from yourself, not just from others.
- The journey itself matters as much as the destination.
If you need to pause, pause. If you need to pivot, pivot. None of it erases your progress. In fact, it’s proof that you’re still in the game.
And if you’re like me, so laser-focused on the goal that you forget the beauty of the in-between, take this as your gentle reminder: stop for a moment. Breathe. Smell the flowers.
The finish line will still be there when you’re ready to run again.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 