If someone had told me that I would be one of those women who get massages every month, I probably would have laughed in their face about the foolishness of such a self-indulgent and frankly expensive habit. I never dreamed that the words “I’m sorry I have my massage that day, I can’t,” would escape my lips. However, that was before I discovered the many health benefits of massage.
I believe I’ve shared my mom’s health issues and how at the age of 46 she suffered a stroke which left her disabled. For almost twenty years, she has had over twenty surgeries, dozens of hospitalizations for various infections, has developed diabetes and other autoimmune disorders and at one point was in a wheelchair. To say that I started taking my health very seriously is an understatement.
For me, massage and other spa related activities are to help prevent having serious issues. Despite the expense of the monthly massage my logic is rather simple for the budget minded (as we all are here on this blog). My mother spends well over $100 every month for her medication and is in near constant pain. I can spend $70-$100 each month on a massage and feel great, look great and enjoy my life to the fullest. This isn’t to say that people with chronic illness can’t enjoy full lives – just, it’s a lot harder when you’re sick and I don’t think a single one of them reading this would argue that point. I think most of them would say, “pick the massages!” over the medications and pain.
Besides feeling great, massages are known to reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, lessen pain and muscle tension, improve immune function and help the facia system. You might not be familiar with the last one on the list. Facia is connective tissue around our joints, muscles and organs which helps provide structure and allow for fluid movement. When our facia isn’t well cared for it can cause many painful conditions. Something they found massage does is help to ensure the facia fibers are nice and straight instead of a tangled mess. That knotted muscle? May actually be “knotted” facia!
Fun family side note, my mother was diagnosed with mixed connective tissue disorder which affects her facia which explained the twenty surgeries in twenty years. Her joints were literally falling apart because her facia couldn’t hold them together and since she’s starting going to a massage therapist regularly she hasn’t needed another surgery on her joints. It has a pretty strong genetic component, so there’s a significant chance that I will have issues with my own joints if I’m not careful.
I have found this seemingly self-indulgent habit has been key to keeping me healthy and active, along with a healthy diet and regular exercise. Each month it’s an appointment with myself one hour to truly relax and unwind. I enter the spa greeted by friendly faces who have come to know me well. I sign some paperwork, they review any changes and then my neck is wrapped in a warm towel until my massage therapist is ready for me. She reviews my history, checks to see if there has been any changes. I find it’s important to communicate anything that has stressed my system out whether that’s a lot of time spent in the car, extra gardening or stress at work. Together we formulate a plan, she relying on my own experience and me relying on her expertise of how to address the problems (usually a tense right shoulder).
After she leaves the room, I underdress to my comfort level and slip into the luxurious blankets, warmed by the heated table. I take a nice deep breath in and hold it before letting it slowly out. Tranquil music plays overhead in the dimly lit room. Already, the stress and tension begins to leave my body and for the next hour, it’s all about me. No one can reach me with my phone turned off and my smart watch tucked away in my purse. There is nothing to interrupt the time I have set aside for my own self-care. Alexandra makes adjustments as needed from the temperature of the bed to the pressure she uses, checking in with me and asking for feedback. Parts of me which ached and protested movement release under her careful administrations leaving me in a state of blissful tranquility where the stress of daily life has melted away.
Imagine sinking into a comfortable, cushioned table as skilled hands begin to work their magic. The pressure varies from gentle strokes to deeper kneading, melting away any tension you might be holding. The sensation of the massage is both calming and invigorating. As the therapist’s hands glide over your muscles, you might feel a warm, soothing release, almost like a wave of relaxation washing over you. Time is almost suspended as she works over each part of your body. The scents of the oil waft into your nose transporting your far away from the world. Your mind drifts between reality and a dream. Then what could have been an eternity or mere moments, she whispers ever so softly that it’s time. She slips out of the room and you begin to move your heavy limbs, stretching them out as if testing them. You take one more deep breath in and out, before slipping back into your clothes and re-entering the world.
I have gotten several different kinds of massage from the classic swedish, to the hot stone, to himalayan salt stones to even alternating between hot and cold. My favorite is the hot stone because the heat sinks deep into the tissues allowing Alexandra to work the muscles and facia more easily to maximize her effectiveness.
There is something to be said about setting aside time each month for yourself as a “mini-vacation”. For one hour, I completely disconnect from the outside world and focus on nothing else but relaxing. There is no one else to intrude upon it and I can either strike up a conversation with Alexandra or tell her that I want a quiet session where I can focus on my breathing or half doze. I am obliged to no one, not required to think or decide, it is truly a getaway. So many times our trips and free time get filled up with activities that while fun are not necessarily restful and rejuvenating. That is precisely what my monthly appointment entails. There are few other places that bring me the same level of relaxation.
I think we often overlook self-care and the things we need to do for ourselves as indulgences or even selfish. It is not an indulgence for me to say that given my family history, I need to take extra preventative steps for my physical health. It is also not an indulgence to say that I have a stressful job as a social worker and that carving out untouchable “me-time” is not being selfish. Caring for ourselves is as important as caring for others, after all if we don’t care for ourselves, eventually we will be the ones needing the care. It’s not an indulgence or selfish to do things for yourself.
I liken it to when the oxygen level drops suddenly on an airplane. You are to put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others. The reasoning is perfectly logical, if you end up passed out from lack of oxygen while trying to help someone else, chances are there will be two people in medical distress instead of one. You do no one any good passed out from lack of oxygen! My mom despite the improvements still isn’t healthy and still needs help around the house. I have to be able to care for us both, which means taking the time to take care of me. Part of that self-care, is the monthly massage.
How can you get a massage or begin a monthly self-care routine?
Luckily, there are many options available for a massage from a one time fee to a monthly membership. I happen to have a monthly membership with Hand and Stone for about $70 each month. Which is probably about the cost of most people’s daily coffee habit. The membership fee covers the cost of a one hour massage and if I miss a month it rolls over into the next month, so I never need to worry if I am unable to make it in that I will have “wasted” my money.
Even if you cannot make it a monthly habit, it is good to indulge in yourself occasionally with spa days or even just a massage occasionally as it is a readily accessible mini-vacation that can fit into almost any schedule no matter how busy.
However, whether you indulge or not in them, I still recommend making a habit of self-care. Schedule meetings with yourself where you take time to stretch, meditate, drink tea or just lie in bed and snuggle your cats. Turn off your phone, listen to relaxing music and just be for a small period of time. Get a spa kit for home and indulge in that way. If you have a partner take turns giving each other neck rubs. There are books and resources to help you learn some of the techniques of the massage therapists.
Completed July 2017 (ongoing)
Cost: $70 with membership (ongoing) or one time fee $120
Miles from home: 3
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 