The day was winding down. The museum had closed, and the sun was beginning its slow descent. Erika and I stepped out into the cool, crisp spring air, the kind that carries just a hint of evening chill beneath the fading warmth of the day.
The urgency that had driven us, our mad dashes across the city, our constant checking of maps, began to dissolve. In its place came something softer. A quiet curiosity. Without a list to check off, we were once again free to fully embrace the moment.
We wandered without purpose through streets washed in dusky light, watching as Paris slowly stirred to life for the night. Café lights flickered on one by one. The low hum of conversation drifted out onto the sidewalks. Glasses clinked. Laughter rose and fell like a tide.
Paris, it seemed, was just waking up.
It was in this gentle wandering that we met Julian and his girlfriend, Sandra.
They asked what had brought us to Paris, and we answered in kind. Soon, we were deep in conversation, trading stories of our lives, ours in America, theirs in Paris. There is a certain kind of fleeting camaraderie that forms in moments like these, where neither side expects permanence, and yet both lean fully into the connection.
For a few hours, we were simply part of one another’s stories.
They led us to a club, one far removed from anything we had originally planned.
It was the sort of place where locals belonged, where the rhythm of the night pulsed differently. It was tucked along a street. Do not ask me where, for I doubt I could find it again. With a nod from Julian to the bouncer, we slipped inside, crossing an invisible threshold into another version of Paris.
The air was warm and thick with music. The dim light created an intimate atmosphere like it was holding a secret only Parisians knew. We sipped wine and talked, our voices rising to meet the hum of the crowd as the hours stretched on.
And then, suddenly, the room erupted.
A woman appeared, dressed in something delightfully eccentric, a candle balanced atop her head (and I am not entirely sure if her chest was bare, she had on quite the number of necklaces). She sang loudly, joyfully, with a theatrical abandon, moving with a confidence that demanded attention. The crowd joined her instantly, clapping, singing, cheering.
Sandra leaned in to tell us it was her birthday.
It was not how I would have chosen to celebrate, but who was I to question a Parisian in her element?
As the night wore on, exhaustion crept in, the kind that settles deep in your bones after days of walking, of seeing, of feeling everything all at once.
Reluctantly, we apologized and said our goodbyes.
We exchanged Facebook information with every intention of keeping in touch. But as life so often goes, we never did.
Some things, perhaps, are meant to remain exactly where they happened.
In Paris.
Back at the hostel, I checked my email and confirmed our meeting place with Frieman.
The next morning, we set out once more into the city, this time successfully finding him. Though we did not have long together, we lingered over lunch, swapping stories and savoring the flavors of a city that had already given us so much. He drew me a small Eiffel Tower on a napkin, the perfect memento of my trip.
After lamenting our struggles with the metro, Frieman kindly took the time to explain it to us. Confident now, we set off to retrieve our luggage before catching our train.
We followed his directions carefully.
At least, we thought we did.
Emerging from the metro into the bright spring afternoon, we found ourselves somewhere entirely unexpected.
The red light district.
We stood there for a moment, taking it in, the bold storefronts, the neon signs, the unapologetic nature of it all.
Then we looked at each other and burst into laughter.
Never one to miss an opportunity, I leaned in and said, with what I hoped was convincing innocence, “Well… since we’re here, and we’re both engaged, we may as well find something memorable for the honeymoon.”
Smirking and trying not to laugh too loudly, we stepped into a shop and that may or may not have been our only stop.
What exactly we purchased shall remain between Erika and me, and left to your imagination, dear reader.
But we did make certain to stop for a picture in front of the Moulin Rouge before making our way back to the hostel… and eventually, to the train. Only stopping a few times to ask for directions from bemused shop owners.
All in all, it was a weekend in Paris well spent.
A true bucket list adventure, full of mishap and magic, art and laughter, wine and wandering, fleeting friendships and unexpected stories.
And perhaps that is what travel is meant to be.
Not a perfect itinerary.
But a collection of moments, some planned, many not, that come together to form something far richer than anything we could have designed ourselves.
We left our story (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3), dear reader, at the steps of the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, with the universe laughing as I stared in disbelief at a place I had already declared far too distant to reach that day. In the years since, I have often found myself accomplishing things that once felt equally out of reach. When doubt creeps in, I return to this memory. The path may not be direct, but you will arrive. The trick is learning to enjoy the detours.
And perhaps, if I am being honest, that is part of why I share stories like this at all.
Occasionally, I wander further afield in these tales. Not to abandon the spirit of this blog, but to present it honestly. Some dreams require more than staying close to home. Some experiences ask you to stretch beyond your usual borders. I have no desire to present a life neatly curated into something it is not. The truth, as it turns out, is far more interesting. And far more instructive.
Had we marched straight to Sacré-Cœur, we would have missed the Eiffel Tower and the Archaeological Museum entirely. Travel, when approached with openness, teaches far more than what sits behind glass displays.
The Basilique du Sacré-Cœur stood in quiet contrast to the more widely known Notre-Dame Cathedral. There was a preserved sacredness here. Where Notre-Dame hums with the steady rhythm of tourism, Sacré-Cœur felt… guarded. Not unwelcoming, but intentional.
No photographs. Voices lowered to a hush. Nuns gently, but firmly, reminding visitors that this was not merely a site to be consumed, but a space still in use, still sacred.
Some may find that restrictive. I found it grounding.
We were the ones intruding, and we were given boundaries. Watching worshippers in quiet devotion, I felt something I can only describe as a pull upward, a stillness that settled over the space and demanded respect. It remains one of my favorite memories, not despite those restrictions, but because of them.
We left eventually, though I could have lingered longer, stepping once more into the lively streets of Paris as though emerging from another world.
Our destination was the Musée d’Orsay, home to some of my favorite artists. In those pre-smartphone days, coordinating across countries required optimism and a bit of guesswork. When the appointed meeting time with Frieman came and went, we were left waiting… and waiting… only to discover later we had managed to wait for one another at entirely different museums.
A perfect summary of early 2000s travel, really.
Accepting defeat for the day, we went inside anyway, trusting that an email later would sort things out.
The Musée d’Orsay itself deserves more than a passing mention. Once a grand train station, its soaring ceilings and iron framework still echo its former life. There is something poetic about a place once built for movement now holding stillness. Light pours in through enormous windows, illuminating canvases that themselves chase fleeting moments.
We wandered slowly, letting the space guide us. Monet’s work shimmered with that signature softness, as though the world itself refused to stay still long enough to be fully captured. Renoir’s figures felt alive in a different way, their warmth and movement drawing you into their world. Impressionism has always felt less like observation and more like memory, imperfect, glowing, and deeply human.
With our plans unraveled, we turned next to Sainte-Chapelle.
There are beautiful places, and then there are places that feel almost unreal.
Sainte-Chapelle belongs firmly in the second category.
The structure itself nearly disappears, replaced by walls of stained glass that stretch impossibly high. Over a thousand panels catch the light and fracture it into color so vivid it feels alive. Reds, blues, and golds spill across the floor and over the people standing within it. You do not simply look at the windows. You stand inside them.
It is overwhelming in the best possible way. Quiet falls over the room, not because it is enforced, but because it feels required.
Still caught in that awe, we wandered into the gift shop, and it was there that something clicked into place.
I had been seeing unicorn tapestries everywhere.
At first, I dismissed them. Tourist fare. Decorative patterns meant to evoke something vaguely medieval. But they kept appearing, on bags, on notebooks, in displays. Persistent.
Curious, I asked the woman behind the counter, half expecting a vague answer.
Instead, she smiled and told me exactly where they were.
Right here. In Paris. At the Musée de Cluny.
Now, dear reader, it should come as no surprise that I love unicorns. This is me after all.
(If you’d like the full story behind that lifelong obsession, and a deeper dive into the tapestries themselves, you can read it here.)
This is not a casual appreciation. This is a lifelong commitment.
My very first stuffed animal was a unicorn named Rainbow, a music box that played Somewhere Over the Rainbow. She traveled with me across countries and still sits on a shelf in my room. Growing up in the 90s, unicorns were not nearly as easy to find as they are now, which only made each one feel that much more special. Books, toys, anything I could find, I devoured it. Really today’s children have no idea how easy it is to find them!
And somewhere along the way, I discovered The Lady and the Unicorn.
A series of six medieval tapestries, each rich with symbolism, each woven in the millefleurs style—“a thousand flowers”, their backgrounds alive with intricate botanical detail. Created around the turn of the 16th century, likely in Flanders, they depict the five senses: taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. The sixth, bearing the phrase À mon seul désir, “to my only desire”, remains something of a mystery.
Interpretations vary. A renunciation of earthly pleasures. A declaration of free will. Perhaps even a representation of a sixth sense, something beyond the physical. I have always liked that it resists certainty.
It felt fitting.
Armed with directions and far too much enthusiasm, Erika and I set off at once. My feet protested. Fifteen miles the day before had seen to that. But there are moments when discomfort becomes irrelevant.
This was one of them.
There were unicorns to see.
I did my best to behave like a reasonable adult upon entering the museum. I failed. Spectacularly. While I attempted to maintain composure, I am fairly certain my barely contained excitement gave me away. To her credit, Erika insisted we take our time, lingering over artifacts, allowing the museum to unfold properly.
I tried.
I truly did.
And then we reached them.
The tapestries did not merely meet expectations. They erased them.
Reproductions flatten them. They shrink them. They strip away the very things that make them extraordinary. In person, every thread is visible. Every flower distinct. The scale alone is commanding, but it is the detail that captures you. And I apologize dear reader that my photos do them little justice. As it was the early 2000s technology was woefully lacking and I did not use flash photography. However, the ones you see are the ones I took.
You begin to think about the time embedded in them. The hands that worked them. The months, perhaps years, of labor required to bring them into existence. These were not casual creations. They were declarations of wealth, of artistry, of devotion to craft.
In a world where we can summon decoration with a click, it is difficult to comprehend that level of patience.
As I stepped into the dim gallery, my excitement softened into something quieter.
Awe.
My breath caught as I approached, drawn forward as though the space itself required stillness. I do not know how long I remained there. Time loosened. I studied each panel carefully, tracing patterns, noting symbols, wishing—once again—that I knew enough about botany to name every plant.
I said very little.
What could be said?
Some things refuse translation. They must be experienced fully, in person, to be understood at all.
Too soon, we moved on. There was still more of Paris waiting.
And so, from a missed meeting, a chance question, and a persistent pattern I almost ignored, we found ourselves swept into yet another unexpected adventure.
We continue our journey through beautiful, enchanting Paris.
It is important, dear reader, that when traveling one is not too set on any particular place or thing, lest you miss out on a spectacular find or hidden gem the guidebook overlooked. This is one of the reasons I rarely book a full day of activities. I like to leave space for moments of serendipity to take hold.
Which is precisely where we found ourselves next.
For beneath the vaulted ceilings and looming gargoyles, the Lady of Paris holds a small secret: the Archaeological Crypt. A title, as you know, certain to get my attention.
Just as we were about to leave the cathedral in search of the Eiffel Tower, we stumbled upon a small sign beckoning us to explore below.
It felt almost mythical descending the steps into the dimly lit corridors of the crypt, as if stepping through a portal in time.
Unlike most museums, where artifacts are removed, broken apart, and neatly arranged in brightly lit halls with placards explaining their importance, this space preserves them exactly where they were found.
The layers tell the story of Paris.
Stone remains whisper of traders calling out their wares, pilgrims making their way to holy places, children laughing in the morning sun. The quiet of the crypt stands in sharp contrast to the cacophony above.
Most tourists pass it by in their rush toward the next “must-see.” They do not pause to reflect on the centuries that built this city.
Yet the stones remember.
Roman ruins: wharves and docks once used for trade. Bathhouses where elites conducted business. Defensive walls against invading Germanic tribes. Medieval streets leading travelers toward the cathedral. Remnants of an ancient chapel. Foundations of a Renaissance orphanage.
Today, the museum includes interactive displays that bring the past to life. But even without them, I could feel the weight of history, a hundred generations whispering across time.
We emerged from the crypt back into the sunlight, now drifting toward the horizon.
Consulting our map, we had two more “must-sees” to check off our list: the Arc de Triomphe and, of course, the Eiffel Tower.
Now, dear reader, a word of warning. The Arc de Triomphe sits in the middle of a very busy traffic circle. Do not do as we did and dart across the road, flirting equally with traffic and death.
There are underground entrances, as we later discovered, that allow for safe and easy access to this memorial honoring those who fought in the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars.
To be honest, while impressive in size, it lacked emotional weight for me. In contrast to the crypt, it felt flashier but ultimately hollow.
Perhaps for a French citizen, it carries far greater meaning, standing as a reminder of the blood shed for their country. But for me, it was something I could have skipped in favor of lingering in a café.
And then, of course, the Eiffel Tower.
What other landmark is more instantly recognizable as the symbol of a city, or even a country? A single silhouette, and the mind goes immediately to Paris.
Dear reader, I highly recommend visiting the tower at dusk.
The daytime crowds begin to thin, and a kind of hush settles over the air. Oh, there are still tourists milling about, but there is a softness to the evening, as if people have remembered that life is not about rushing, but about savoring small moments.
We approached the tower after a long day of walking and purchased tickets for the elevator (though today, you would be wise to book ahead).
The top level was closed for renovations, but we did not mind. We could still visit the café and take in the view.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, the city transformed.
Lights flickered on like scattered stars. Colors softened into shades of gray. And the tower itself shimmered to life in a glittering display.
We sipped warm hot chocolate and looked out across the city, quietly content.
Exhausted, famished, and thrilled, we made our way back toward the hostel, stopping at a restaurant for dinner.
I had taken one year of French in eighth grade, which proved entirely useless when attempting to decipher the menu. I could identify mushrooms and cheese in a few places, but the rest was complete gibberish.
Hungry and overwhelmed, I did not relish the idea of struggling through a back-and-forth with the wait staff.
So I employed a trick that has served me well ever since: I asked the waiter what his favorite dish was and told him to bring me that.
He seemed delighted that I was entrusting my palate to him.
This approach is not for picky eaters, but I am fairly adventurous. In fact, there are only two foods I genuinely detest: pickles and Jell-O.
In the years since, this trick has never failed me. Wait staff often know the menu better than anyone. They return to the same dishes again and again, and those are often exactly what you want to try.
Now, I would be remiss not to mention the shameless flirting that followed, nor the belated April Fool’s joke he played on two unsuspecting Americans.
Having entrusted him with our meal, we had also, to some extent, entrusted him with our wallets.
So imagine my surprise when he returned with a bill for nearly 300 euros, entirely in French.
Unsure what else to do, I prepared to pay it. After all, we had ordered the food. If there had been a misunderstanding, I was ready to take responsibility for it.
I believe he was just as surprised by my reaction as I was by the bill.
Instead of arguing, I simply accepted it.
Fortunately, he did not take advantage of my naivety. He laughed and revealed it was a joke, much to my immense relief.
He did, however, invite us dancing. We politely declined. We were both spoken for and had no desire to lead him on.
The lesson here is simple: if you let someone choose your meal, have them point to it on the menu. No surprises.
And do not be intimidated by a language you do not know. A little pointing and a rough mental tally go a long way.
We were fortunate. The lesson came through humor rather than costly experience.
Late that evening, we wandered back to our hostel through quiet, darkened streets.
Surprisingly, whether due to youth or good shoes, I was not footsore despite walking all day. Instead, I was happily exhausted, my head filled with history and excitement.
It felt like a waking dream. Paris was no longer an abstract idea, but something real and tangible.
Still, exhaustion finally caught up with me, and I fell asleep almost instantly.
Morning came with sunlight streaming through the window.
I stretched lazily, not quite as energized as the day before, but still eager to see what lay ahead.
As we discussed our plans before meeting Frieman later, I happened to glance up.
There, just beyond the buildings, stood the white dome of the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur.
I turned to Erika.
“Remember how I said there was no way we were walking all the way across the city to see that church?”
I twirled in my chair, hair whipping across my face, and fixed my friend Erika with a look that needed no elaboration. Her response was immediate. A squeal. A clap. An emphatic, “Yes.”
After all, what else does one say to Paris in the spring?
Such spontaneity, dear reader, is only possible when you are determined to drink deeply from the cup of life while living abroad. For an American especially, there is something intoxicating about the ability to hop on a train and cross into another country before lunch. When you come from a place where a single state can rival the size of an entire nation, the idea feels almost illicit, perhaps even scandalous.
So without further ado, we secured tickets on the high-speed train from Frankfurt to Paris. Arm in arm, we walked toward the station, already breathless with plans: art, museums, music, culture, food, people. And what a people!
A sudden unplanned Paris in a weekend?
Madness. An affliction surely.
Which is precisely why we had to do it.
The true catalyst was a message from a dear friend who would be spending a week in the city and wondered if I might join him for a day. An afternoon in Paris with a friend who happened to be an artist of some renown? The answer could only be yes. After all, who could be the more perfect tour guide?
This was before smartphones lived in our pockets. Before we had google at our fingertips and the assuredness that comes with having all the answers tucked away. We packed lightly, wrote down the number of the American embassy, ensured we had our emergency contacts into our bags, and armed ourselves with a travel guide and a healthy dose of gumption. Travel then required nerve. Trust. If you got lost, you figured it out. If you mispronounced something, you survived the embarrassment. There was no digital rescue waiting in your palm. Which is honestly, what I miss most about travel these days.
The train hurled us across the countryside, fields bursting with early spring color flashing past the windows. I could not help comparing it to Pennsylvania. Lancaster County, in particular, bears a resemblance to parts of Germany, and for the first time I understood, in a small but tangible way, why so many Germans had settled there. Hiemweh melted away leaving a strange sense of coming home even across an ocean.
Three hours is long enough to plan a city and short enough to realize you cannot conquer it. We trimmed our ambitions to a few must-sees and a handful of hopefuls. The Louvre alone could swallow a week. Paris, we decided, would not be conquered. It would simply be experienced.
Crossing the border was almost anticlimactic. An announcement crackled overhead. That was all. No passport stamp. No interrogation. It felt like slipping into Ohio, except the anticipation hummed in your bones. No offense to Ohio of course, but really are we going to say it compares to France?
And then we arrived.
First Things First: Find the Bed
Before romance, before art, before croissants on café terraces, there is one universal truth of travel; You must find where you are sleeping.
Armed with a folded map and confidence wildly disproportionate to our navigational skill, we set off to locate our hostel.
Now, in our defense, the streets of Paris are confusing.
Unlike the tidy grid systems Americans grow up with, Paris feels as though it was designed by someone who enjoyed curves, diagonals, and the occasional act of mischief. Streets fork unexpectedly. They change names without warning. A road that appears straight on a map somehow bends in real life. And the street signs? They are affixed to the sides of buildings, charming blue plaques that would be immensely helpful if they were not routinely obscured by graffiti, peeling posters, or layers of mysterious paper advertising concerts long since passed. It was an exercise in hopeless confusion and frustration.
More than once we stood directly beneath a sign, craning our necks and squinting upward, trying to determine whether we were on Rue de Something Important or merely staring at a band flyer partially concealing our destiny.
And then there was the metro.
For the uninitiated American traveler, the Paris metro is not transportation. It is an initiation ritual.
Lines spiderweb across the city in a dizzying tangle of colors and numbers. Trains are labeled by their final destination rather than the direction you believe you are traveling, which requires you to know far more geography than you actually do. Stops are announced quickly, sometimes swallowed by the metallic roar of the car, and the maps inside the train might as well have been abstract art for all the clarity they offered at first glance. Especially, if one has never traversed public transit before. Which alas, many Americans have never been on anything more than a school bus.
You descend into the underground with confidence. You emerge twenty minutes later into a vast plaza with six exits, each pointing toward a different arrondissement, blinking in the daylight thinking, This seems right.
It is rarely right.
One exit leads you in the exact opposite direction. Another deposits you onto a boulevard you did not know existed. A third leaves you staring at a fountain that looks vaguely familiar but is, in fact, not the fountain you were seeking.
Given these small obstacles, I consider it nothing short of miraculous that after a few wrong turns and some enthusiastic but misguided pointing, we found our hostel at all.
Little did we know, this was only the beginning of our navigational adventures and given the amount of confusion the metro caused, we determined that the best way to get anywhere was by foot. Yes, you read that correctly. I walked Paris in a weekend. I estimated that I traversed at least 15 miles. Though as this was before the popularity of step counters, I only have my best estimates.
The hostel itself was functional in the most generous sense of the word.
If you have never experienced a European student hostel, allow me to clarify something, it is not glamorous by any stretch of the imagination. It is economical. And it is very much a young person’s sport.
The shower required physical encouragement. You had to press the button, and water would flow for approximately twelve optimistic seconds before shutting off again. Want to rinse shampoo from your hair? You had to keep pressing it like you were negotiating terms. The “hot” water hovered somewhere between hopeful and politely lukewarm.
Breakfast was included, which sounded promising until we discovered that “included” meant toast, jelly, and coffee. For Americans raised on sprawling hotel buffets complete with eggs, waffles, fruit, yogurt, and pastries, this was a humbling cultural exchange. There was no omelet station. No waffle iron. There was toast.
And you were grateful for it.
We adapted quickly. A stop at a neighborhood grocery store provided bread, cheese, and sliced meat. It was the perfect strategy: sustain ourselves during the day, conserve our funds, and reserve our modest budget for dinners out in the evening. For two college students, it was a masterclass in practical travel. Frugal by day. Indulgent by night.
The hostel was never meant to be the highlight. It was the launchpad. A place to drop our bags. A place to sleep. A place from which to begin.
And begin we did.
What followed was a blur of museums and miscalculations, attempted French and accidental detours. We wandered into neighborhoods we had only read about. We misread maps. At one point, quite unintentionally, we discovered that we had strayed into the red-light district. There is nothing quite like realizing you are lost in a foreign city and that the neon lighting is… intentional.
But that, dear reader, deserves its own telling.
Because Paris was not merely art and architecture. It was a lesson in courage. In frugality. In friendship. In the quiet bravery required to step into the unknown without guarantees and trust that you will find your way.
This is what I mean by a reverse bucket list. Not the grand achievements we hope to accomplish someday when everything is perfect, but the moments we dared to say yes to when they appeared. The train we boarded. The map we unfolded. The hostel we made work. The city we entered anyway.
A fulfilling life is not built by waiting until conditions are ideal.
It is built by saying yes before you feel entirely ready.
In the next post, we will step fully into the city itself. The beauty. The bewilderment. The glorious inconvenience of getting lost in Paris.
Not all adventures require stepping out into the world and exploring new places. There is not always a need to don our shoes or cross the threshold of our homes. Some adventures wait for us in a far more intimate space, where heat and spice mingle to create expectation. Where anticipation builds slowly. Where the experience lingers in memory and sends small electric thrills through the senses. Where worries are set aside, hands get busy, and something deeply satisfying, and dare I say even sensual, takes shape.
Lower your eyebrows, this is a family blog.
Of course, dear reader, I speak of the kitchen.
For thousands of years, humans have gathered around fire and flame, bonding through the shared rituals of preparing and eating food. Long before written language, recipes were passed hand to hand, memory to memory. Food has always been warmth, safety, and love made tangible. It is how we celebrate, how we grieve, and how we care for one another when words fall short. I once had a Puerto Rican colleague who would bring me food during especially stressful seasons of my life. One day, she arrived with a cake she had carefully crafted just for me. It was not simply a dessert or a cultural exchange. It was care wrapped in sweetness, a quiet reminder that I was not alone.
Food is deeply embedded in a people. It is history, culture, memory, and survival served on a plate. Entire stories can be told through a single dish. Take Haiti’s Soup Joumou, a pumpkin-based soup once forbidden to enslaved people and now eaten each year to celebrate independence and freedom. Or consider corned beef and cabbage, a meal that became closely associated with Irish-American immigrants, not because it was common in Ireland, but because it was affordable and accessible in their new home. These dishes tell stories of resilience, adaptation, and identity.
Pasta dinner in Rome
Sometimes food carries the quiet evidence of cultural exchange. Italy, so famously associated with pasta and tomato sauce, sits at a historical crossroads of trade. Noodles arrived through contact with the East, while tomatoes made their way from the New World. Local tradition met imported ingredients, and something entirely new was born. That cuisine later traveled across the Atlantic, where it transformed yet again into what we now call Italian-American cooking. This is why beloved favorites like fettuccine Alfredo or chicken parmigiana are rarely found in Italy itself. Food evolves as people move, adapt, and make do.
Many of the dishes I have named so far are familiar to most of us, especially here in America. But adventurous eating does not have to stop at what we already know. Those of us with wandering spirits often associate travel with food, and for good reason. What marks a journey more clearly than the flavors we encounter along the way? Thanks to global shipping networks and the rapid exchange of information, it is now easier than ever to recreate dishes from around the world in our own kitchens, no plane ticket required.
Will it always be perfect? No. The clotted cream I buy at my local grocery store is not quite the same as the clotted cream I was served in Cornwall. Still, for those of us who are budget-conscious or simply curious, it is close enough to spark delight and inspiration. Sometimes approximation is not a failure, but an invitation.
I am fortunate to live in a place that makes culinary exploration especially accessible. My hometown is something of a food mecca. We have a specialty meat and cheese shop, several farmers markets, close access to fresh seafood, and grocery stores that carry an impressive range of international ingredients. We are also home to many authentic markets representing cultures not typically found in mainstream American stores. This means I can often find traditional ingredients locally and at a fraction of the cost of ordering them online.
Lancaster is also known as America’s refugee capital, thanks in large part to the ongoing efforts of Church World Service. Refugees from around the world have made their homes here, continuing a long tradition of welcome rooted in our Amish and Mennonite history. With them, they have brought their food. And generously, they have shared it. Restaurants that prioritize employing refugees allow them to tell the story of their culture through cooking, creating a deeply local melting pot of flavors. It is history you can taste. Remember, food tells a story and in Lancaster it tells more than just an exchange of culture, it whispers welcome as well.
Escargot
Perhaps that is why I have always been adventurous with my food. I grew up with the world’s kitchen at my doorstep. I learned early that flavor has no single nationality and that spices are not something to be feared. When people joke that white people do not use spices, I laugh, spice is all I’ve known. My spice cabinet is perpetually overflowing with flavors from every corner of the globe. One of my favorite dishes to make is lamb with five spices, a recipe that fills the kitchen with warmth and complexity long before it reaches the plate.
Over the years, I have tried an astonishing range of foods. Kangaroo and lychee. Beluga caviar and jackfruit. Escargot, conch, buffalo, alligator, raw oysters. Authentic pad Thai and ramen. Croissants in Paris, doner kebab, calamari, and a full English breakfast. I have sipped absinthe, fine wines, countless teas, and more than a few drinks whose names I can no longer recall. I have eaten at Ichiban grills, Brazilian churrascarias, four-diamond restaurants, and casual pig roasts. I have wandered farmers markets while sipping fresh coconut water straight from the shell and watched rolled ice cream take shape on a freezing plate. Street food, in all its glorious variety, deserves an essay of its own. I’ve eaten at rotating restaurants high above the skyline. I’ve also eaten deep in the earth in old wine cellars. I’ve dined on the ocean and at the peak of mountains.
Some of my most meaningful food memories, though, were made at home. Hours spent in the kitchen with my mother, learning new dishes together, experimenting, tasting, and laughing. Food is not only about novelty or prestige. It is about connection.
Lebanese Cuisine
In the end, adventurous eating is not about chasing the most exotic ingredient or the most impressive dish. It is about the willingness to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. It is about expanding your palate beyond the familiar rotation of meals. I still remember the first time I tried lavender ice cream. It stopped me in my tracks. I had never considered lavender as a flavor before, and suddenly a door opened. I started seeking out all sorts of new flavors like rose and violet. Since then, I have fallen in love with pine and rosemary ice cream as well.
If lavender feels intimidating, start small. Try substituting lavender for rosemary in a recipe. Their flavor profiles are surprisingly similar, and the result is both comforting and slightly unexpected. That small shift is often all it takes. There are plenty of recipes and flavors out there. The world is truly your oyster! Adventure does not always roar and it doesn’t always require a passport. Sometimes it simmers quietly on the stove, waiting for you to take the first bite.
We are experiencing a bit of a cold snap here in Pennsylvania. The wind howls outside as I write this, and temperatures plummet from merely chilly to, quite frankly, unbearable. We are advised to stay indoors, and even the sun itself has decided to deprive us of what little warmth it might have offered. While I can certainly enjoy winter outdoor activities, it is on days like these that perhaps we ought to turn to indoor pursuits. Ones that do not come with frostbite warnings attached.
Given the gloomy monotony of the outdoors, I also tend to gravitate toward things with a bit more flair and ambiance. And what could offer more of both than the opera?
Now, dear reader, I can imagine what you may be thinking. The opera? Where everything is sung in a language you do not understand? Where people dress in finery and say things like, “Why, Penelope, your gown looks absolutely divine. I am certain it will catch Edward’s eye,” as if you have been whisked away to eighteenth-century England. Perhaps you are intimidated by the grand architecture of the opera house itself, the richness of the spectacle, or the sheer weight of history behind it all. You may worry the plotlines will feel distant or the music dull.
Allow me to assuage your fears. Opera is far more down to earth than it first appears, especially today, when it has become a welcoming space for all, not just wealthy elites and snobbish intellectuals. Though I am sure they are still wandering about somewhere, we need not pay them any mind.
As for dressing up, you certainly can, but you do not have to. I did on my first visit, simply for the fun of it. Besides, I had a beautiful gown begging for a night out, and how could I deny it the pleasure of an opera house? It was stunning, a deep purple with a jeweled neckline that hugged my waist before falling into an A-line skirt. It swirled around my legs as I practically danced through the halls in excitement. As a senior in high school at the time, I earned a mixture of approving and amused glances from my elders.
That first experience was a German opera, Die Fledermaus (The Bat), at the Fulton Opera House, one of the few opera houses designated as a National Historic Landmark. The building itself was breathtaking, restored in 1995 to its original Victorian elegance. One step inside, and you might think yourself transported to the opera halls of Europe, with ivory hues, rich red accents, gilded columns, and balconies adorned with swirling gold details. The ceiling features elegant arches and intricate designs that invite the eye upward. I remember being awestruck by this unassuming treasure in my own community.
From the outside, the Fulton sits modestly among other historic buildings, its facade surprisingly plain. The sign announcing “Fulton” feels more reminiscent of a mid-century movie theater than an esteemed opera house, which is fitting in a way. For a time, it did serve as a run-down movie theater before its restoration transformed it into the jewel of Lancaster City that it is today.
My second opera experience, however, was far more casual. It did not take place in an opera house at all, but rather at my local movie theater. It is hard to find anything less intimidating than a relaxed afternoon at the cinema, complete with popcorn and soda. You could show up in pajamas and no one would bat an eye.
This accessibility is thanks to the Metropolitan Opera, often shortened to the Met, which streams live performances to movie theaters around the world. The Met is one of the most renowned opera houses in existence and sits high on any opera lover’s list of must-visit destinations. With the Met: Live in HD series, one no longer needs to travel to New York City to experience world-class performances. Depending on your theater, the seats may even be more comfortable. Mine has reclining chairs and serves alcohol, which makes a four-hour performance surprisingly enjoyable.
One of my favorite parts is coordinating visits with friends who live far away. We attend the same performance in different cities, text during intermission, and discuss it afterward. Even separated by hundreds of miles, it becomes a shared experience. The Met: Live in HD series offers a wide range of composers and styles. Some productions are modernized with contemporary settings and costumes, while others lean into the historical period in which they were written. Still others fully embrace fantasy, transporting audiences into worlds of myth and legend. Because the performances are filmed, you never miss a detail. Every embellishment on a costume and every carefully placed set piece is visible.
Of course, far beyond the costumes, props, scenery, and architecture is the music itself. It is enchanting, enrapturing, and enthralling in equal measure. Opera spans the full breadth of human emotion, joy, sorrow, longing, fury, tenderness, capturing your heart and refusing to let go. I still remember the hush that fell over the audience as the first notes rose from the orchestra pit, the way sound seemed to ripple through the room. Then came the singers, their voices soaring with jaw-dropping range and power, filling every corner of the space. You do not simply hear opera. You feel it vibrating in your chest, settling into your bones.
Although I speak German conversationally, it is nowhere near sufficient to follow an opera. Thankfully, modern audiences no longer need fluency in French, Italian, or German to enjoy the art form. Operas are almost always subtitled in English, allowing viewers to follow the plot while fully immersing themselves in the music. I vividly remember sitting in the theater, completely enraptured in a way I had never experienced through recordings at home. The notes were richer and fuller, the harmonies more layered, the emotion unmistakable.
Opera is more than a theatrical performance. It is poetic song and living art. It carries a rich cultural history across Europe, filled with timeless stories and enduring truths. Nor is opera confined to the past. Contemporary operas continue to be written and performed, carrying the tradition forward into the modern world.
First Operas to Try (A Gentle Introduction)
If you are curious about opera but unsure where to begin, starting with the right work makes all the difference. These operas are frequently recommended for newcomers because they feature engaging stories, memorable music, and emotional clarity.
Die Fledermaus – Johann Strauss II A lively comic opera full of humor, mistaken identities, and infectious music. Lighthearted and approachable. It was also my own first opera, so it comes highly recommended.
La Bohème – Giacomo Puccini A deeply human story of love, friendship, and loss, paired with lush, emotionally direct music.
Carmen – Georges Bizet Dramatic, passionate, and instantly recognizable, with a strong central character and unforgettable melodies.
The Magic Flute – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart A blend of fantasy, symbolism, and humor, written to appeal to broad audiences and still accessible today.
The Barber of Seville – Gioachino Rossini Fast-paced, witty, and energetic, this comedy is a joy from start to finish.
How to See an Opera Yourself
If you find yourself intrigued, seeing an opera is easier than you might expect.
Check local listings. Many cities have regional opera companies or host touring productions. Local arts calendars are a great place to start.
Look into streaming performances. The Met: Live in HD series brings world-class opera to movie theaters worldwide, often at a much lower cost than live tickets.
Seek out local opera houses and smaller companies. Do not overlook intimate venues. Smaller productions are often more affordable and can feel wonderfully personal.
Do not be afraid to start small. Matinees, shorter operas, or chamber performances can be ideal first experiences.
Opera has a way of meeting you where you are. All you need to do is step inside and listen.
Opera does not have to be intimidating. It is a welcoming, fantastical place that offers refuge from the cold and invites you into a world of sound and story. So when the wind howls and winter presses in, consider, dear reader, letting the opera sing you warm.
Completed: 2006
Cost: $23 (The Met Live is typically $23 and Opera house tickets can range from $25 to $100)
Dear readers, I have a bit of a confession to make. I am not always the posh, delicately spoken flower you may have come to know me as. There are moments when I am decidedly less than ladylike, especially when I am in the throes of passion. Passionate nerdom, to be precise.
Picture me fiercely debating and analyzing the world of science fiction with three of my friends. Add to that the unfortunate fact that I learned to swear from a literal sailor, and when I get salty, I bring the whole ocean with me. It is actually rather freeing to allow a different aspect of myself to shine. After all, we are all multifaceted beings with many sides to ourselves. I am not always channeling my inner Victorian. Sometimes it is my inner Viking warrior, and in this case, it is a girl with some serious beef with filmmakers who simply cannot respect the source material. Is it really so difficult? But honestly, that is part of the fun. My wit and banter at full strength, turned loose on a topic near and dear to my heart: science fiction.
About twice a month, I get together with Scott, Miles, and Dave to review and discuss all things sci-fi. We tend to focus on movies and television, largely because not everyone in the group is as avid a reader as I am. Asking someone to complete an 800-page novel in two weeks is unlikely to end happily. A film, by contrast, is a two-and-a-half-hour commitment instead of twenty hours of reading. Well, twenty hours for them. I can usually polish off a book in eight to ten, depending on how compelling it is.
Alongside reviews, we dive into science fiction news, theories, and the occasional heated debate. Opinions are shared freely, defended passionately, and sometimes gleefully attacked. There is a lot of laughter, teasing, and the kind of spirited disagreement that only works when everyone genuinely enjoys one another. Lest you worry that the boys cannot hold their own against me, fear not. Listen long enough and you will hear them all start to sing “It’s Been a Long Road” just to derail me. Of course, we cannot help but needle Dave for his love of lens flares in Star Trek (for the record, he detests the J. J. Abrams films known for them).
It wouldn’t be a convention without cosplayers
One of my favorite aspects of the podcast is that we do not limit ourselves to recent releases. Often, we revisit older films, the kind that have been forgotten, overlooked, or never widely known in the first place. Sometimes we strike gold. Other times we are left staring into the abyss, wondering how something ever made it to screen. Either way, the process has expanded my palate and deepened my appreciation for different kinds of media.
Some of the films I have ended up loving are ones I never would have chosen on my own. Not because they were masterpieces, but because they offered a fascinating window into how past generations imagined the future. One surprising treasure was Battle Beyond the Stars, which drew inspiration from The Magnificent Seven and the classic Japanese story Seven Samurai. Was it campy? Yes. Was it ridiculous? Absolutely. But goodness, was it funny to watch. Which, admittedly, I was already primed to enjoy given my fondness for older Japanese films. Believe it or not, it was nominated for five Saturn Awards, including Best Science Fiction Film and Best Special Effects. Watching films like this, you can see how cultural values, fears, and hopes were projected forward in time. I have found myself thinking more about how special effects have evolved, how our expectations of technology have shifted, and how often we miss the mark when predicting where we will be in twenty, fifty, or even a hundred years. It makes me wonder what things we consider innate and unchanging now will one day be quietly overturned.
That is what I love most about science fiction. It asks questions. It forces us to examine the implications of technologies just beyond our reach and to consider whether they will ultimately be used for good or for harm. Science fiction reflects the norms of its time, but at its best, it challenges them.
My pilgrimage to Star Trek’s Enterprise housed in the Smithsonian
Star Trek, in particular, has always excelled at this. It does not just explore the possibilities among the stars, but asks us to consider what is possible here on Earth. It gave us the first interracial kiss on television. It pushed audiences to wrestle with the idea of artificial personhood through Data, asking what consciousness really is and what, if anything, separates us from a machine.
This franchise comes up the most on our podcast, likely because it has spanned generations, but also because it is such a deeply philosophical show, challenging and shaping its viewers’ thinking. It certainly shaped mine growing up. I vividly remember watching the Voyager episode “Nemesis,” where Chakotay is seemingly taken in by an alien race, the Vori, who are fighting against the technologically advanced and oppressive Kradin. It is later revealed that this conflict is part of a brainwashing simulation designed to condition him to hate the Kradin. Even after the truth is uncovered, Chakotay struggles to be in their presence. That episode left a lasting impression on me, illustrating how propaganda can turn a compassionate heart toward hatred more effectively than any history book ever could.
I have been podcasting with the guys for nearly ten years now, and it has been a wild ride. Beyond broadcasting my thoughts and engaging with listeners on social media, the podcast has taken me to science fiction conventions, where I have had the opportunity to interview actors, creators, and other figures within the genre.
None of them have been A-list celebrities, but many have graced a red carpet or two. More importantly, the vast majority have been genuinely lovely people: gracious, thoughtful, and generous with their time. They offer insightful answers, often laced with humor, and seem truly appreciative that anyone still cares about the stories they helped bring to life.
Star Trek Panel 2025 Shore Leave Convention
I still vividly remember my first solo interview. It was surreal walking up to the booth at the start of the convention and being handed a press pass. Me? Press? I had not gone to school for journalism. I was a cheeky woman arguing on the internet with her friends for entertainment. I glanced down again and began taking pictures of the wild chaos that is a convention: costumed characters from different franchises co-mingling with those of us dressed in street clothes. I studied the map and instructions for where I needed to go and made my way through the crowd, stopping to take photos and absorb everything around me. Since the interview would not happen for an hour or two, I scouted the location so I knew exactly where I needed to be. In the meantime, I checked the convention schedule, trying to determine which panels to cover so I could report back properly to my colleagues who were counting on me. Ever the overachiever, I was determined not to disappoint the guys.
As the time approached, my nervousness grew. Here I was, face to face with someone who surely had better things to do than talk to me, yet had kindly agreed to do so anyway. I had carefully written and submitted my questions in advance for approval, determined to avoid any last-minute improvisation. My stomach fluttered with butterflies as I reread my notes, silently begging my ADHD impulse control to please, just this once, stick to the script. Somehow, I managed not to fumble with the recording equipment.
After the first question, something shifted. The nerves faded, and the conversation began to flow. Perhaps it was the therapist in me, instinctively comfortable in a question-and-answer rhythm. I promise there was no psychoanalyzing involved. Mostly. Some habits are harder to turn off than others. I walked away with the realization that these people are, at their core, just like everyone else I have met along the way. One particularly lovely memory from this past summer is of Tracee Cocco, who was simply delightful. She seemed genuinely stunned by the crowd cheering for her, walking out on stage with her phone raised, filming the audience with the same awe we felt toward her. This from a woman who has spent over thirty years in Hollywood as an actress, model, and stuntwoman, appearing in more than one hundred Star Trek episodes and rubbing elbows with the likes of Patrick Stewart.
Not all my interviews were famous for their screen time: Charles Dunbar is an anthropologist who studies anime
Being on the podcast has opened doors I never imagined possible and has cemented friendships across generations: Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial, with the occasional appearance by Scott’s son, a Gen Z. When I was first invited on, I never imagined I would still be doing this years later, or that saying “sure” to chatting about shows I loved would lead to such unexpected experiences.
What it has ultimately given me is a space where all my selves are welcome: the thoughtful analyst, the passionate fan, the therapist, the nerd, the woman who swears too much and cares deeply. In a genre devoted to imagining better futures, the podcast has quietly given me something just as meaningful in the present, a place to belong, to question, to laugh, and to keep wondering.
Thinking About Starting a Podcast?
If you have ever considered starting a podcast, my best advice is to begin simply. Pick a topic you genuinely care about and find people you enjoy talking to. You do not need professional equipment or a perfectly polished format right out of the gate. What matters most is consistency, curiosity, and a willingness to keep showing up even when the audience is small. A good podcast grows out of conversation, not performance. If you are having fun and asking thoughtful questions, listeners will feel it.
Give yourself time to find your rhythm. Early episodes may feel awkward, unfocused, or rough around the edges, and that is completely normal. Podcasting, like any creative practice, is learned by doing. The skills come with repetition, reflection, and the humility to improve as you go.
Miles getting attacked by an alien
A Gentle Reality Check
It is also worth saying that starting a podcast does not automatically lead to press passes, convention access, or interviews with celebrities. Those opportunities take time and careful cultivation. They are built on reputation, respect for the process, and a genuine appreciation for the people whose work you are covering.
If you hope to conduct interviews at conventions, begin by reaching out to the event’s leadership to learn their specific process. Each convention handles media requests differently, and respecting those boundaries matters. From there, reach out to guests thoughtfully, ideally through their handler or publicist when possible, and be prepared to hear no. A declined request is not a failure; it is simply part of the landscape.
Always do your research. Know who you are speaking with, understand their work, and come prepared with questions in advance. Showing up informed and professional signals that you value their time. Over time, that consistency builds trust. And trust, more than anything else, is what earns you a reputation as someone who is respectful, reliable, and welcome in these spaces.
Completed: Started 2018
Cost: I honestly have no idea how much it costs Scott to host the website each month or the recording equipment for me it’s free.
Miles from home: We record virtually
For more reflections on meaningful experiences, future dreams, and moments worth remembering, explore my Bucket List and Reverse Bucket List posts.
There is something undeniably quintessential about a model train at Christmas. Perhaps it is the nostalgia of it, those miniature worlds humming softly beneath a glowing tree, harkening back to simpler times. Or perhaps it is the romance of travel itself, when journeys felt grand and full of promise, long before crowded terminals and flight delays dulled their shine.
Model trains were not just toys but marvels. At the turn of the twentieth century, railroads represented the height of modern technology. They stitched together cities, transformed commerce, and shrank vast distances into something manageable. It was only natural that this fascination would find its way into the home. Trains became one of the earliest mechanized toys of the modern era, first gaining popularity in the early 1900s. These were not flimsy playthings but sturdy, intricate machines meant to be admired as much as played with.
By the 1920s and 1930s, model trains had cemented their place in Christmas tradition. Department stores leaned heavily into the spectacle, constructing increasingly elaborate displays that wound through snowy villages and bustling cities, all carefully designed to stop shoppers in their tracks. The base of the Christmas tree became the perfect stage. It was practical, yes, but it was also symbolic. A glowing tree overhead, a circling train below, motion and magic contained within the heart of the home.
Whether by convenience or clever marketing, Christmas and trains became inseparable. That connection only deepened over time. Films like The Polar Express reignited the wonder for new generations, reminding us that belief, imagination, and a little suspension of disbelief are part of the season. During the pandemic, when traditions were disrupted and people sought comfort in familiar rituals, many rediscovered hobbies that had quietly faded into the background. Model trains experienced a resurgence, not as relics, but as reminders of patience, craftsmanship, and shared joy.
In recent years, that magic has increasingly moved into public spaces. Libraries, historical societies, and community centers across the country now host model train displays each December. Often these exhibits double as fundraisers, particularly for children’s literacy programs, ensuring that the magic of stories and imagination carries on long after the trains are packed away.
It was on a cold December evening that I found myself invited to see one of these displays for myself. I will admit, dear reader, that I was not initially enthused. I am not someone who has ever considered myself a “train person,” and model trains seemed, at best, mildly interesting. However, I was willing to indulge my companions in a bit of whimsy; I am nothing if not whimsical. Imagine my surprise, then, at just how utterly delightful the library display turned out to be.
The small library’s basement had been transformed into a sprawling miniature world. The display ran nearly wall to wall, a carefully constructed metropolis alive with motion and detail. Multiple tracks wove through snowy villages and industrial hubs. A baseball field sat mid-game, an airport buzzed with tiny planes, shipping lanes carried cargo through a busy harbor, and a circus burst with color and whimsy. There was even a theme park, complete with rides in motion.
What made it truly special was how interactive it all was. Throughout the display, visitors were encouraged to press buttons and bring the city to life. A ski slope sprang into motion. Barrels were loaded onto a train car. Lights flickered on in tiny buildings. Each interaction revealed another layer of thought and care poured into the exhibit.
I felt like a child again, eagerly pressing buttons and craning my neck to take it all in. Every section had been lovingly created by a volunteer using their own personal train sets. One display even featured a train over a hundred years old, still running, still enchanting, a direct link to the earliest days of electric model trains. It was humbling to realize how many Christmases that little engine had seen.
For nearly an hour, I was completely absorbed, pointing out details to my companions and discovering something new with each pass around the room. The volunteers were just as much a part of the experience as the trains themselves. They eagerly shared stories about the models and about the local area. One tale recounted the time a major league baseball team stopped to play the local team while passing through town, a small but vivid slice of history preserved alongside the miniature world.
It was, in every sense, magical.
Where can you see Christmas Magic?
For those inspired to seek out a display of their own, they are often closer than you think. Local libraries are a wonderful place to start, especially in December. Historical societies, model railroad clubs, botanical gardens, and even shopping centers frequently host seasonal displays. Many towns also have dedicated train shows or open houses where hobbyists invite the public to view their layouts. And for the truly adventurous, there is always the option of creating a small display at home. Even a single loop of track under a tree can carry more charm than one might expect.
Sometimes, Christmas magic arrives in unexpected forms. Sometimes, it hums quietly, circles endlessly, and reminds us that wonder is often found in the smallest of worlds.
There comes a point in adulthood when you look around at your own life and realize just how much of it was built from other people’s expectations. Parents, partners, coworkers, even strangers on the internet all seem to carry opinions about what a “good” life should look like whether that’s the classic white picket fence and 2 kids, jetting around the world or having that corner office. With the shorter days and colder nights which entice us to stay inside sipping a warm cup of tea, December has a way of handing us a quiet pause in the middle of all that noise. In that stillness you can ask a gentler and more liberating question: What if the best gift you give yourself this year is a life that actually fits you? Not a life you are supposed to want. Not a life that earns gold stars. A life that feels like home when you step into it.
Most of us carry at least a few pieces of life that no longer fit. A commitment you keep out of habit. A routine that once served you but now drains you. A goal you set years ago that you are still dragging around even though it no longer reflects who you are. Just like clothes that shrink in the dryer, some roles tighten over time until they restrict your movement. One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is to notice what feels constricting. If something consistently brings dread or resentment, it deserves a second look.
Try asking yourself: What do I continue to do only because I feel I should? What parts of my week feel like a performance? What drains me more than it fills me? These small gut checks can reveal more truth than grand resolutions ever will. Because often resolutions are about adding things to our lives when maybe we should be asking what isn’t serving us anymore.
Wanting something different for your life can feel almost rebellious. We are taught early that desire is selfish or impractical. Yet desire is really a compass. It points you toward what brings meaning. The permission you refuse to give yourself is often the permission you most need. You are allowed to want a simple life. You are allowed to want a bold one. You are allowed to want rest, creativity, adventure, peace or a mix of them.
Let go of the guilt around wanting something others do not understand. You do not have to justify your dream life like it is a court case. Your preferences do not require a panel of approval. They only require your honesty. After all, the only person who gets to live your life is you. They have their own.
Every person inherits a set of default settings. These can be expectations from family, cultural messages or values absorbed without question. Some defaults are helpful. Others keep you living a script that never belonged to you. December is an ideal moment to ask where those settings came from. Did you choose them or were they assigned to you? Are they aligned with who you are now or with a past version of you who no longer exists?
Letting go does not always require a dramatic overhaul. It can be as simple as replacing one outdated belief with a more generous one. It can be as quiet as deciding your worth is not measured by productivity. Sometimes the life that fits begins with subtracting what never matched your shape in the first place.
Once you clear the space, you can begin creating a life that feels right in your hands. Think of it like tailoring. Small adjustments can change everything. You might shift your morning routine to match your natural rhythm. You might redefine what rest means so it supports you instead of feeling like a guilty pleasure. You might choose relationships that nourish you instead of ones that keep you hustling for belonging.
Crafting a life that fits is not a single grand gesture. It is a set of choices made consistently. When something feels peaceful instead of performative, you are moving in the right direction.
A good life should give you room. Room to breathe. Room to change your mind. Room to fail safely. Room to explore new interests without embarrassment. If your life feels like a tight shoe, it is not a sign that you need to force yourself into it. It is a sign that you need to loosen the laces. When you prioritize a life that can expand with you, you trade perfection for sustainability. You also create conditions in which joy can actually take root instead of feeling like a visitor.
The gift of a well-fitting life is not wrapped once and placed under a tree. It is something you give yourself again and again. Through honesty. Through reflection. Through paying attention to what your life is telling you. You will outgrow some things. You will discover new ones. You will learn what brings you back to yourself. The point is not to build a life that looks impressive. The point is to build one that feels true.
As this year winds down, take a moment to appreciate the small ways you have already reshaped your life into something more authentic. And if you have not started yet, that is all right. The gift is not in the timing. The gift is in choosing yourself.
Sometimes, dear reader, our own bucket lists take a polite step to the side so someone else’s long-cherished dream can finally march forward in all its glory. In this case, it wasn’t a bucket list at all. It was a basket list. A Nantucket Shiplight Basket list, to be precise, which I admit feels far more poetic. After all, who among us would not be charmed by the idea of holding a piece of maritime history in our hands.
My mother certainly was. Ever since she was a teenager, she had been enchanted by these elusive vessels after reading about them in some long-forgotten book or article. I picture her as a younger version of herself, curled up somewhere cozy, imagining the rugged New England coastline, the wild Atlantic surf and perhaps, if I know her, a sailor or two with a jawline sharp enough to cut rope. I cannot blame her. The sea does tend to conjure such visions.
I am sorry, where were we. Ah yes. Baskets. The point is, dear reader, these particular baskets are not ordinary containers for fruit or wayward junk mail. They are woven pieces of history, shaped by sailors who braved storms, isolation and boredom of legendary proportions. The romance is built right in.
A Bit of History for the Curious Soul
Long before tourist shops and Instagram feeds filled with beach scenes, the waters south of Nantucket Island were treacherous. Shoals shifted like restless spirits and ships were known to meet rather unfortunate ends. Since the terrain was not suitable for a proper lighthouse, lightships known as shiplights took up residence. Picture a floating lighthouse, bobbing in the waves, anchored against the dark and fog and hoping a vessel would notice it in time. That was the job of the lightship. Simple in theory. Terrifying in practice.
These ships were staffed by small crews who lived aboard for long stretches, typically thirty days at a time. They battled storms, loneliness and the constant fear that some overconfident captain might sail directly into them. Many did. More than one lightship was destroyed after being struck by the very boats it tried to save.
With little to do during calmer stretches, sailors turned to crafting. By the 1860s, the earliest Nantucket Lightship Baskets began to appear. These were not decorative heirlooms but practical, sturdy, beautifully utilitarian containers. Their bases, rims and staves were usually made back on the island. Sailors then brought them aboard, using the long quiet hours to weave. The moulds were created from old ships’ masts, giving the baskets yet another tie to maritime life.
Over generations, the basket-making tradition shifted from survival activity to artistic craft. Baskets became more decorative, more intricate and far more sought after. Today, Nantucket baskets are treasured symbols of New England craftsmanship. And, thanks to the price tags, they are also symbols of New England’s talent for charging quite a lot for tradition.
A Dream My Mother Tucked Away
My mother fell in love with the history long before she ever saw an actual basket in person. For decades she dreamed of owning one. But as prices climbed higher and higher, the dream began to sag under the weight of practicality. The baskets became something for “someday.” And someday, as we all know, is a tricky creature. It slinks away easily.
Years passed. Then decades. The dream gathered dust like so many silent hopes. She never complained about it. She never pined or sighed dramatically like a Victorian heroine. She simply tucked it away, which was somehow even sadder.
Thankfully, dear reader, she has me. And I am not someone who lets dreams die quietly.
A Daughter on a Mission
The spark reignited on a trip to Boston to visit a friend who, as it happened, made Nantucket baskets as a hobby. When my mother held one of his creations, her whole face softened. There was awe. There was longing. And there was that quiet little note of resignation. The “oh well, not meant to be” tone that mothers perfect somewhere around the third decade of adulthood.
Absolutely not, I thought. To hell with resignation. Not on my watch.
Now, could I have snagged her a $400 basket. Technically yes. But financially, spiritually and stubbornly, no. That felt like cheating. I wanted something more meaningful. Something rooted in effort and delight and a little bit of chaos, as most great family stories are.
The opportunity arrived in the most unexpected way, as opportunities often do. Last fall, my mother and I took an eco-dyeing class at the PA Guild of Craftsmen. We spent the morning dunking fabric into pots of botanical color like two witches brewing questionable potions. During the class, we met a man named Bob, who casually mentioned that he taught classes on Nantucket Baskets.
Was it fate. Probably. Was it the universe gently nudging me toward destiny. Quite possibly. Was it also the direct result of my inability to mind my own business and my tendency to ask questions of every friendly stranger. Absolutely yes. Sometimes, fate needs a little nudge or a full on push.
The Watch Begins
From that moment on, I became a woman possessed. I haunted the Guild’s website like a Victorian ghost with unfinished business. Week after week I checked for upcoming classes. I refreshed the page with the kind of intensity usually reserved for airline deals or Taylor Swift ticket drops.
Then one day, I saw it. A class scheduled for the weekend of my mother’s birthday. Perfect. Beautiful. A sign from the gods themselves.
I contacted my sister. I confirmed schedules. I clicked the button to register.
The class had just filled.
Great was the gnashed teeth. Fierce was the shaking of my fist. Dramatic was my lamentation to the heavens. I am after all nothing if not dramatic!
But if you know nothing else about me, know this: I do not give up. Not even when the universe tests my patience for sport.
Not two weeks later, a new class appeared. Spots: available. And I pounced. I registered so fast you would think I was trying to secure the last lifeboat on the Titanic. Victory was mine. And so was a guaranteed memory for the ages.
The Big Day Arrives
Two weeks after her birthday, my mother, sister and I arrived for our class. For those unfamiliar, Nantucket baskets are not really considered beginner friendly. They require precision, patience and a willingness to accept that reeds will snap at the least convenient moment. Luckily, we had Bob. And Bob is a gem. If basket making had spirit guides, he would be one.
With calm instruction and gentle humor, he helped us understand the mechanics behind the magic. He showed us how to keep the weave tight. How to handle breakage. How to adjust when things started to go sideways, which they did often. There was laughter. There was mild cursing. There was one moment when my mother threatened to throw her reeds into the void, but Bob intervened with the patience of a saint.
My mother struggled at times, especially early on. Her arthritis made the tight initial weaving difficult. But here is where the real beauty emerges. When her hands faltered, my sister and I stepped in. We held reeds steady. We tightened the weave. We supported her hands with our own. And together, we built something worth far more than its materials. Something no price tag could ever reflect.
When the baskets were finally complete, we sat back in awe. They were beautiful. Not flawless. Not identical. But better. They were us. They were hers. They were woven with history and love and the combined effort of three determined women.
A Dream Fulfilled at Last
My mother waited more than forty years for this. Four decades spent admiring a dream from afar, telling herself it was too impractical, too expensive, too indulgent. But standing there with her basket in her hands, crafted by her own perseverance and supported by her daughters, something shifted. The dream became real. Tangible. Hers.
At sixty-five years old, she crossed something off her list that she never thought possible. And she did it in the best way imaginable. Not by purchasing a finished piece but by creating one with her own hands.
And if that is not the very heart of bucket lists, I do not know what is.
We often think of bucket lists as daring adventures or far-flung travels, but sometimes they are simpler. Sometimes they are woven, stitch by stitch, in quiet rooms with people we love. Sometimes the most meaningful items are the ones rooted in memory and heritage and personal longing. And sometimes the best thing we can do is help someone else check off something they stopped believing was possible.
So here is the lesson for you, dear reader. Do not be fooled by dreams that go silent. They are still there, waiting for you. Whether they are big or small or slightly unexpected, they deserve air and attention and the chance to surprise you. And it is never too late. Never too strange. Never too sentimental.
Sometimes a dream is simply a basket. But sometimes that basket carries forty years of hope, a good story, a tiny bit of chaos and a whole lot of love woven into its staves.
And those are the dreams worth chasing.
How might you chase your own piece or maritime history?
If reading this has awakened something in your soul, dear reader, perhaps a tiny spark whispering that you too might enjoy owning or crafting your very own bit of seafaring heritage, then rejoice. You are not alone. There is something irresistible about holding an object shaped by hands, hope and history. It connects you to all the sailors who once sat aboard those rocking lightships, weaving to pass the time while storms rolled over the horizon.
So how might you chase your own piece of maritime magic.
First, you can absolutely look for a class in your local area. Basket weaving workshops pop up in the most unexpected places. Community art centers, craft guilds, even the occasional museum loves to host heritage craft classes. The only caveat is that the further you wander from Nantucket’s salty shores, the rarer these particular baskets become. The tradition simply never spread far inland, perhaps because weaving a basket while imagining rolling waves is far more romantic when you can actually hear them outside the window.
If you would rather skip the learning curve entirely, you can always purchase your own Nantucket basket from a skilled maker. These pieces are true works of art, and buying directly from an artisan helps keep the craft alive. It also saves you from the mild existential crisis that comes from snapping reeds for the fourth time in an hour. Trust me. I have lived it.
But maybe you are like me and prefer a little chaos with your creativity. Maybe you want to try your hand at the weaving itself. In that case, you are in luck. You do not need a ship. You do not need a lighthouse. You do not need to brave the open ocean with only six crewmates and a questionable supply of biscuits.
What you need is a guidebook, some materials and the enthusiasm of a determined dreamer.
Thanks to the endless wonders of the internet, you can now find instructional books for a very modest sum along with kits containing everything from bases to staves to the all-important mould. No need to fashion one from a retired ship’s mast like the sailors of old. Unless you happen to have a ship’s mast lying around, in which case, dear reader, I have questions.
With online tutorials, craft forums and even weaving groups on social media, it has never been easier to learn a heritage craft from the comfort of your own home. You can chase your own dream while sipping tea in your pajamas, which feels like a delightful improvement from doing it aboard a lightship in a gale.
And that is the beauty of our modern world. Dreams that once required proximity, luck or a friendly sailor now simply require curiosity and a willingness to start.
So whether you sign up for a class, purchase a handmade treasure or gather your supplies and embark on the weaving adventure yourself, may your own journey into maritime history be filled with joy, discovery and perhaps a little bit of mischief. After all, the best stories are the ones we make with our own hands.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 