Before I begin, I feel it is important to stress that choosing to be a pet parent should be a highly intentional decision taken with the understanding of the full responsibilities associated with the decision. This is a living, breathing creature with its own physical and emotional needs that as their owner, you have an obligation to meet. Are you in a position to meet their needs? When you adopt or purchase a pet, your home is their forever home, not you until you finish college home, get married home or have a child home. This is often a 15 to 20 year commitment. They may have unexpected medical bills or complications. They may require a special diet or food. They may break your favorite vase. They may ruin your carpet because of a urinary tract infection. Your clothes will constantly be covered in fur. At least one piece of furniture will be destroyed. There are many, many drawbacks to having a pet that should be considered before you get one.
Most bucket list items are fleeting, ephemeral experiences. That week in the mountains, that afternoon swimming with dolphins, those hours watching the northern lights are all there for such a short time before they are memories. They punctuate our lives as peaks among the hills and dales of life. Having a pet, however, is an ongoing joy. There’s nothing quite like developing a loving relationship with another creature across the species. The human-animal bond can be a deeply rewarding experience. Research suggests that the loss of a beloved pet is equal to the loss of a spouse, meaning that your relationship with your pet can be as meaningful as a relationship with your spouse.
I have always had pets. Growing up, we mostly had cats. Taking care of another creature’s needs helped me to have a sense of purpose. Cats taught me responsibility, compassion, empathy, selflessness and unconditional love. Some may be surprised by the last one given cat’s reputation as aloof, solitary creatures rather than the friendly and social animals I adore. However, I will assert that cats do express love, quite a lot of it actually.The problem that most people have with cats is that they expect them to act like dogs and to express their feelings in much the same manner. One must remember that a dog’s nervous system is almost identical to our own and that they have a specific region in their brains devoted to humans. A cat does not. A cat sees us as big clumsy cats who can’t hunt but know where the good snacks are anyways.
Still a cat does have many ways of showing affection and love. They give slow blinks, sit near you, snuggle up next to you, bring you gifts, give little love nibbles, groom you, give head bumps and of course, rub against you purring. I could wax poetic about their little toe beans or button noses.They are often the first thing I see in the morning and my last thought at night when they hop up to join me. I know their personalities, what they like and dislike, their favorite toys, their preferred spots for napping, even what temperature they like the rooms to be. They seek me out for comfort and safety. They know my routines. They check on me when I’m sick or sad. They’ve protected me when they sense I’m threatened. I play with them and cuddle them. I’ve developed an understanding of their body language and the noises they make from demanding meows to curious trills. They are my wonderful companions.
I’ve developed a bond with them that transcends the two species which has been incredibly rewarding. Earning a cat’s trust is a precious thing. Many cats when frightened will seek out a hiding place like under the bed, mine seek me out. While many cats will show their bellies to those they trust, mine let me pet their bellies. They let me manipulate them in ways other cats won’t tolerate from most humans, all because they trust me. They know I love them and won’t harm them.
Unlike many human relationships, the loyalty that I have given them is rewarded with reciprocal loyalty. A pet does not abandon you when life gets tough, often they sense you’re upset and seek you out to give comfort. They don’t ask what’s wrong; they don’t rush you through your emotions; they don’t judge you for what happened, they’re simply there giving what little they are able to help. Having a pet decreases stress, anxiety and depression. But it is a bit difficult to stay sad when a cat is rubbing its face against your cheek, purring just giving pure love and affection to you.
When I was 25, I heard the soft cry of a kitten hidden among the taller plants of my garden. A mother cat had been seen moving her kittens earlier in the day, but this one with his face crusted with mucus had been left behind. He was crying for help that was never going to come, at least not from his mother. Despite my best efforts, I was unable to get him and so I enlisted the assistance of my neighbor in getting him. I took him inside my room with every intention of taking him to the animal rescue the next day after all I still lived with my parents, and was told in no uncertain terms adopting a cat was out of the question. Still I insisted on having assistance to drive him down to be surrendered and hopefully be given some medical care. I lacked a cat carrier and was not going to drive down to the city with a stray kitten climbing all over my car and being a hazard. We made it not 3 minutes down the road before he stuck his little head out of the box with a pathetic little mew when I heard “turn the car around.” I called to make an appointment at the vet and three hundred dollars later (free kitten from the yard was not free) was nursing him back to health with zero promises from the vet that he would survive – spoiler alert, he’s now 12 years old!
I still remember on the second or third morning that I had him, I woke up and he came trotting out from a hiding place, mewing, desperate to get up to me, he leapt to cling to the blanket, not able to quite get up to the bed. I plucked him up in one hand and brought him close to me telling him not to worry that I would be his mama. That was the moment I truly bonded with him as my baby kitten and I still adore him.
I could probably write for hours about how much I have enjoyed having cats. I could share endless stories of their playful antics and sweet moments of affection. I also love cultivating the relationship between them, especially my bonded pair, a set of adopted brothers. Not every moment has been amazing. Have I been scratched? Absolutely. Have they broken things? Of course. Would I trade them for anything? Absolutely not. They’re my boys.
I do not consider myself a pet owner. I consider myself their faithful guardian. They’re precious treasures under my protection. I feel daily gratitude for their companionship and love. As someone who desires to live life to the fullest right where she is, having this rich relationship with my pets helps make life worth living. Have I spent nearly $10,000 on Luke with his unexpected surgeries? Yes. Would I trade him for a trip to Bali? Nope. I would still bring that baby kitten that I found out in the yard inside the house. I would still nurse him back to health. His life is worth far more than any trip around the world. He has enriched my life more than any trip or short term experience.
How can you get a cat (or other pet)?
As stated at the start, please consider carefully and fully whether you can meet the emotional and physical needs of a pet before bringing one home. Consider carefully whether the pet you are considering fits your lifestyle needs, not all pets are created equal, especially dog breeds. If you get a border collie, you will probably need to spend much of your evening playing and training with your dog as they require a lot of physical and mental training to be happy. Do careful research about what a given animal requires before jumping into pet ownership.
Once you’ve done your research, considered your ability to meet the needs of your chosen pet, I strongly encourage you to go to an animal shelter and adopt. Be willing to have hard conversations with the shelter staff if you’re unsure about a given mix or breed presented. Talk with them about the temperament of the specific one you’re looking to adopt. This is an important decision, after all you may be with this animal for the next 10 to 20 years depending on the age at time of adoption, breed and health. The staff will probably appreciate that you’re taking this decision with the seriousness that it truly requires. Once you make your decision, fill out the paperwork, pay the adoption fee and take your new companion home. It may take a few days to really bond with them or perhaps, you fall in love before you have even signed the paperwork.
Again, pets are not for everyone, but they are for me. They are so important to me, that they top my list of bucket list experiences to have.
Completed: Childhood, 2012 as an adult
Miles from home: 0
Cost: Free? (found an abandoned kitten in my yard)
Full disclosure, my “free” kitten from the yard has been a rather expensive cat. In addition to his initial $300 vet bill, Luke has had to have multiple surgeries in his life totaling close to $10,000 in addition to regular check-ups and vaccinations. An adoption from a local shelter would have $60 and all his vet care such as the antibiotics, vaccinations and neutering would have already been covered. I wouldn’t trade him for anything and would still choose to save him even knowing the amount of money I would need to spend on him over the course of his lifetime. My other cats have not been nearly as expensive, but this is something you should prepare for if you’re going to adopt a pet.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 