Many of the items that grace my bucket list are items taken from my childhood rather than anyone’s list. Children typically dream without limitation. Their passions are boundless and unrestrained by the current reality. A child does not worry about the logistics of how they might be a doctor, astronaut, president and mad scientist all at the same time, only that they are concerned with helping others in a leadership role while exploring the bounds of the known world and those sorts of jobs are just the ticket to fulfill those desires. A child believes that they really can see the world, traverse the mountains, take up sword-fighting, rescue damsels, play the guitar and speak several languages. Then life happens and we forget what we really wanted to do and why. We ignore the things that make our hearts soar and fall into the square hole of society having chipped away our rounded parts. What are things that I never got to do as a child due to constraints of time, money or other resources? What are things I wanted to try but never had the opportunity? Where did I dream of going most? 

It was not the sandy beaches of the Caribbean that called to me, it was stormy moors, windswept fjords and the dance of lights in the sky that I dreamed about. I was fascinated by the geothermal activity of Iceland and the still, fae-haunted forests of the British Isles. I wanted to see castles in the forests of Bavaria. I wanted to take up the art of fencing and learn to speak German. Both of those activities I did during my semester abroad, and one activity I keep up with using an app on my phone. 

Closer to home, I have tried glassblowing, forging my own weapon, falconry and Irish step dancing, all things I really wanted to do as a child. I also wanted to tame a unicorn and take up dragon riding, but sadly the world seems to be a bit short on both unicorns and dragons these days – an argument for conservation if I ever heard of one! 

Part of our bucket list is to joyfully express our authentic selves and what better way of knowing our authentic selves then remembering the person we were before all the nonsense of “mature adult” life got in the way? Who were we before our heads were filled with perfectly sensible grown-up advice of what we ought to focus on? What did we want to do before we were told that our arts weren’t things that would keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies or that the only things worth doing were things we were really talented at instead of things we simply enjoyed? What were we good at before it became ruined by the pressure and expectation of having it be more than something to enjoy? What did we dream of before we learned that there were never dragons to ride and worse never unicorns to tame! We so often forget ourselves in the busyness of the day to day and even in the roles we take up in the lives of others. We look in the mirror and cannot even recognize ourselves much less know what we want.

Have you made a life that isn’t your own? What would you do different to make it your own? Now before we do anything drastic – I am certainly not advocating that you divorce your husband and leave your children to go find yourself, only that you work to remember who you actually are before you lost yourself and then focus on living out that best life. In fact, there is almost quite certainly no need to burn your current life down to start building the one you desire. I never really liked the movies where the protagonist essentially blows up her entire life and has to go on a world tour in order to find happiness. I rather see a story of a woman realizing that her happiness can be the life she has with just a few adjustments of action and perspective.

If you are someone who loved cooking, but nothing you made was ever good enough for your overly critical mother then by all means reclaim it and cook! If you yearned to sing but everyone made fun of you because you couldn’t carry a tune, take some singing lessons and then slay at karaoke night! If you wanted to spend your time painting but your parents made you take extra math courses because artists starve and accountants make money, by all means paint! You will find conquering those mountains far more rewarding and fun than going out and hiking a mountain trail when your inner child never spent a day thinking of the forest. Trust me, the best moments of my bucket list are the ones that my former child-self would squeal with delight if she only knew that yes, one day she will do those things. I will never play a concert to a full audience with my violin, but that doesn’t matter, it was never about becoming a concert violinist, it was about playing the instrument itself. My dream was to learn to play and enjoy playing. What were your dreams? Remember your and let them become reality!