Reverse Bucket List – Page 2 – Budget Bliss: Bucket List

My mother was the one who first introduced crochet to me as a craft that was something other than for grandmothers. When she first became disabled, she suddenly found herself with plenty of time on her hands but not a lot of energy by which to do things. She could no longer fill her days with work and housework. She spent most of her time in bed and as so many of us learned during the pandemic, there is only so many TV shows and movies one can watch before feeling stir crazy. So with plenty of time on her hands, she returned to the crafting of her youth, in this particular case knitting and crocheting. Suddenly our house was being filled with piles of yarn that were transformed before my eyes into elegant scarves, beautiful shawls, stylish hats and warm gloves. I was surprised by how the things she made actually looked fashionable. In particular, I was fascinated by crochet with its ability to take on shape and form so unlike other textiles. Naturally, I wanted to learn.

Despite what you may have heard, there was not a strong association between crochet and prostitution. The lace of the ladies of the night had nothing to do with this fine and noble craft! Crochet originated as an art form in the 1800’s coming from “shepherd’s knitting” which was primarily practiced in Denmark and tambour embroidery, a chain-stitch embroidery from China. Despite its French name meaning “hook” it was actually most popular in England, going to show that the upper class English are quite determined to continue the Norman conquest some 800’s years later. Just kidding! The art continued to flourish and especially took off in Ireland during the potato famine as a way for young ladies to earn a living. It wasn’t until about the 1940’s that it became more popular over here in America and of course in the 1970’s it gave rise to the granny squares.

It was with this long and noble tradition in mind that I picked my first project. A simple hat in lime green. I picked lime green primarily because it was a bright color by which to see and learn on. I sat dutifully next to my mother and she began to teach me. In principle, it is a matter of making a loop and then pulling next bit of yarn through the loop, to make another loop and so on and so forth. They use simple terms like yarn over which is just wrapping the yarn around the hook to be able to pull it through one makes bigger. What makes crochet interesting is that because it is so basic one can do things like wrap more yarn around the hook, pull it through a different hole than the one right next to it, twist it one way or the other in order to make interesting shapes. You can make blankets, clothes, flowers, even toys! The world is really your oyster when it comes to this art form.

However, as with most things it is easier said than done. One would think that one would get a nice uniform size of loops by dint of the size of the hook. After all patterns call for certain sizes of hook in order to ensure the holes are that size. Not so, apparently I subconsciously tense and my holes become smaller and smaller and smaller until my darn hook can barely fit. Then my stitches become bigger. This pulls the existing fabric one way or the other. At times it was truly an exercise in frustration. My mother gave me different pieces of advice and assisted with getting it less lopsided. She encouraged me to keep trying while her pieces continued to dazzle. She made it look so easy, so relaxing, like going for a stroll in the park. My stroll consisted of going up a mountain in the pouring rain followed by falling down the mountain and landing face first in mud. Still, the hat did get done, misshapened as it was and too small for my own head, it graced the head of a stuffed bear.

Having been abysmal at crocheting, I tried knitting, another noble art form, but failed to even knit a scarf as the problem of “tightness” was even worse with the knitting needles. I literally could not knit loose enough to fit my needles through the holes I was making as they became ever smaller with each stitch. Alas, it would seem that such an art form is not really for me.

What can be gleaned from this bucket list item? Was it a failure? A waste of time? First, there is value in persistence even in the face of low performance. After all, no one’s first attempt at anything is particularly spectacular. The point was to gain a greater appreciation for the art, to try my hand at it and get the literal feel for it. I had a much better understanding of crochet afterwards, even though I could not replicate it, I had at least begun to develop an eye for the art form. There was a certain satisfaction in completing the project. Sometimes the act of persistence and perseverance through a difficult task makes the task worth it. After all, does it matter how one summit the mountain?

Finally, it was something that I could do with my mom at a time when she couldn’t do much. She had just suffered a stroke at the age of 46, lost her job, lost her income and a lot of her physical abilities. It kick started the next twenty years of surgeries and multiple hospitalizations. There were times when she almost died and so having spent time with her learning one of her passions was in of itself important. I was able to connect with her in a new way through her art. I may not ever get very good at it, but it is something I shall carry with me as a gift from my mom to me. I do not have that hat with me anymore. I did not see the need to keep it because I have the memories of learning with my mom.

How can you learn crochet?

In the wake of the pandemic lockdowns, many people took up various arts and crafts, including crocheting. There is a rich world of online tutorials, classes at local craft stores and kits you can buy offline. The start up cost can be very little with kits starting at 15 bucks or so. You don’t even need to leave your house and it’s a small project that can be taken anywhere.

If crocheting isn’t for you, maybe there’s someone special in your life who has a hobby you’ve been meaning to learn. Take the opportunity to ask them to share their passion; maybe find a small project that you can try your hand at. I’m sure they’ll be glad you asked and afterwards you’ll have a newfound appreciation for what they do. Who knows you may find yourself a new hobby!

Completed: 2007

Miles from home: 0 miles

Cost: Free materials provided (15 – 20 for a starter kit from amazon)

Perhaps, I owe many of these adventures to my mother because while she did not teach me these principles directly she set the example. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. I wore my sister’s clothing once she grew out of it, shopped at thrift stores and grocery outlets, ate leftovers, and used the library as a primary source of entertainment. We rarely went on trips longer than a day, but my mother worked hard to ensure my childhood was still enriched. She scoured the newspapers and kept her ear to the ground for low cost or free events. It was at a time when the internet didn’t really exist and being on the lower end of the economic scale, we were late adopters of most technology. I remember going to things like a bank opening and riding a pony, visiting museums when it was free admission for kids and going to concerts at our church or library. One of these events was the annual Shakespeare in the park play and it remains to this day one of my favorite childhood memories.

Every summer, we’d pack up a picnic dinner, chairs, blankets and head to the park. We’d stake our place among the quickly growing crowd. After eating sandwiches and drinking the rare soda, my brother, sister and I were allowed to go play on the playground with the other children until the play began. We would let our imagination run wild on the playground imagining dragons or fairies around every corner. We would make quick friends of the other children that were there to join in our games even though the friendship lasted less than an hour. Despite our fun, our parents never had to entice us away from the playground because we were so eager to watch the real magic begin. There was nothing so enchanting as a play by the bard himself.

The plays were put on by the Theater of the Seventh Sister, named after the seventh star of the pleiades constellation. It was a group that put on performances from the late 80’s through late 2010’s. These were by no means broadway spectacles but it didn’t matter with the generous support of the community, these phenomenal actors and actresses brought Shakespeare’s comedies to life each year as part of a larger arts in the park summer series. I remember sitting on a blanket at just eight years old completely spellbound as they spoke in the poetry of the plays, absorbing the rhythm of iambic pentameter. The heat of the summer melted away and I was transported to another place and time. The experience solidified both my adoration of Shakespeare and my love of live theater.

I will not hold up theater over film or television as some sort of superior artform nor will I say that the opposite is true. Both have their place, but film and television is far more common and unfortunately far more accessible. Many people have not had the opportunity or privilege of watching a live performance. It is very different to see a story spring forth with moving sets and props. The way they speak to communicate emotions is not the same way as in a film, their movements and expressions are more exaggerated.

The Globe by Richard Croft is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

It is fun to see how the same words can be reinterpreted by an actor, with different emphases or cadences. Where one might let their voice break of heartbreak, another may get more forceful with anger, both valid interpretations. I often find myself responding more on an emotional level to a live performance than to a recorded one on a screen. Perhaps because there is a more direct connection with a live person, when one could reach out and touch them, it feels somehow more real even if the sets are clearly more fake. That is the strange paradox of a live performance, when so much is stripped away by the very nature of a play, what is left can seem more real than a movie filmed with a full set. I do not remember all the films I have seen. I do not usually have strong emotional reactions to movies. I certainly don’t remember most of the episodes of the hundreds of shows I’ve consumed, but I do remember the plays. I remember how they made me feel. I remember how the actors moved, the inflection in their voices. I remember magic. To this day, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, The Tempest, A Comedy of Heirs and The Taming of the Shrew remain etched in my mind. I can still hear the echoing voices projected from the amphitheater.

How you can complete this item:

If you have not seen a live play, I do recommend you go to one. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare. While he is considered by many to be one of the greatest playwrights that ever lived, he is not for everyone, much in the same way not everyone enjoys Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals or think Taylor Swift is the greatest song writer that ever graced the stage (I would be one of those people). Find what would interest you, there are plenty of plays to interest anyone. Be like my mother, scour the newspapers (or facebook events page) to see what live shows may be in your area. Many cities support the arts and try to help the public access them by putting on shows in places like parks or larger theaters. Pack a picnic, let the kids play on the playground until the show begins and then lean back in your chair and lose yourself for an hour or two in something truly phenomenal.

Completed: Childhood

Miles from home: 12

Cost: Free

Category: Reverse Bucket List

She’s a Hooker! Learning to Crochet

See a Live Play: Shakespeare in the Park