follow your dreams – Budget Bliss: Bucket List

Full disclosure: This is a more expensive bucket list item and required travel.

When I was a little girl, I had asked for a book on astronomy for Christmas. I had always had an interest in the stars and heavenly events. I was fascinated by the movements of the planets and the constellations. I wanted to know more about this great universe and at times the sheer vastness was somewhat terrifying. The infinite can be quite overwhelming to a child below the age of 10. This is perhaps why I also have an appreciation for eldritch horror.

At the very front of this book was a list of eclipses both lunar and solar in North America and was devastated to learn that I would not get the opportunity until 2017 or 2024. I longed to be able to see it and the passage of nearly 20 to 30 years was almost as unfathomable as the breadth of the universe itself. Time of course passed and I grew into an adult. I had half forgotten about the solar eclipses as a dream put to the side, when I read an article online that reminded me of such a momentous event was going to occur in North America in the summer of 2017. Now granted, in truth total solar eclipses do occur with some frequency, but not in the same place which is what makes them seem rare, so one would be correct in stating it isn’t that momentous. However, the ability to travel to see one isn’t readily available.

I was lucky in that the event happened to coincide with my friend’s 30th birthday which kick started all of us turning 30 that year, so naturally we had to travel down south to see it. Her parents also wanted to see it and invited her and her friends to stay with them in a very nice hotel for a week down at the beach. We were quite pleased to see the budget for the event cut down significantly by their generosity. However, luck would not be with us, for upon the moment of totality, after carefully watching the path of the moon across the sun in the oppressive heat of a southern summer in August, the clouds came in and ruined the experience. The disappointment I felt was almost as crushing as the heat. The rest of the week was still quite pleasant, so I do recommend if you are going to travel somewhere for an eclipse to do so in an area you want to visit if having to go more than a few hours from your home.

Naturally, I checked the calendar for when the next eclipse would occur and waited eagerly to hatch my plan to view it. This path was a more auspicious one for me as it passed within a few hours drive of my house. In 2023, I began to plan more seriously considering exactly how far away I wanted to book my hotel and drive to totality knowing that hotels would be booking up quickly and highly expensive in the path of totality.

However, my mother had other plans, better plans. She had recently rekindled a friendship with an old college friend who lived in Vermont, Sheila. They both had been saying how we should come up and visit her on her small farm. With her being so near the path of totality, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to go up. She reached out and planned an extended weekend at Sheila’s and also reached out to my “Uncle” Jay to possibly stay in the greater Boston area after the eclipse. With our “hotels” booked, we had hatched a plan.

On the Saturday before the eclipse, we drove the six hours up to Vermont, listening to an audio book and enjoying the scenery of Pennsylvania, New York and Vermont. We made infrequent stops to maximize our travel time. Pro-tip, if you are traveling through many small towns and need the restroom remember libraries are your friend! We were driving off the beaten path and needed to heed the call of nature. Unsure of where we could go for relief, I happened to spot a sign for a local library as we drove by. I made a small u-turn and parked just outside. The librarian was friendly to two road weary travelers. Support your local libraries friends for they are one of the last true public spaces for all.

We arrived at Sheila’s in the later hours of the evening, met her two dogs Quinn and Filipa, her two ragdoll cats and their adorable five kittens. I honestly could have died happy just meeting the kittens. They were the cutest balls of fluff you ever saw! We also met her two sons Danny and Astir. On Sunday morning, I was introduced to her three Icelandic horses and even got to ride one [post here]. On Sunday afternoon, we mostly relaxed, spending a little bit of time exploring the small Vermont towns nearby to give our hostess a break from entertaining guests. We took time to take in the mountains. The majestic nature of the Vermont mountains cannot be understated dressed as they were in their finest late snow cover and evergreens. The crisp air carried the promised scent of spring not yet realized. We stopped at a mom and pop store to sample and purchase maple syrup. We perused the local art gallery for our token souvenirs [post here].

On Monday, it was the main event. The eclipse wasn’t to start until the afternoon, so we had plenty of time to go to brunch at a town about 40 minutes north of Sheila’s home. We took time to see another small town before heading up the mountain for the prime viewing spot. Something that was quite extraordinary for my nerd heart, was that the property where we were invited to was owned by none other than an astronomer who assisted on the Hubble telescope.

It was quite the crowd of neighbors considering the population density of the state. Many people had extra eclipse glasses ready in case someone needed a pair. We took turns using a colander as a pin hole camera to see the path of the eclipse. One neighbor brought food with him to share. Some people read books as they waited while others drank beer. This time the clouds stayed away, the sky was crystal clear and the stage was set.

It is difficult to describe the totality of an eclipse. Throughout the time of the partial leading up to totality, the light begins to diffuse and everything begins to lose its color. The temperature begins to drop and a light wind breezes through dissipating most of the remaining clouds. Seemingly without warning, the moon slips in front of the sun and her shadow plunges the world into a strange twilight. Sunset is on every horizon, the temperature finishes dropping by 10 degrees. Pictures do not do it justice because cameras are made for light, which means most pictures or videos of the eclipse show the black orb of the moon surrounded by fuzzy light. That isn’t what it looks like in truth. In truth, it is a black orb ringed by a thin silver line. Your mind while understanding logically what is happening still has its primal alarm bells ringing of the otherworld breaking through to this one. It is easy to imagine how the ancients would have seen it as disfavor from the gods or an ill omen, when the very light of day is blackened, when the star itself is put out, what else can it be? All too quickly, it passes, the moon continues her dance across the sky heedless of her shadow and the small creatures she has awed. The light comes back and day resumes its throne.

After nearly thirty years of waiting, I had finally seen my dream become a reality. It took two trips and some luck, but I had made it happen.

You may dear reader be wondering what such a thing has to do with my blog about bucket list items on a budget, especially when the next eclipse won’t be until 2045 and I did arguably spend a lot more money than most of my items. There are several reasons, the first is to remind you that even if it is 30 years in the making, bucket list items can come true. The second is that the best lain plans of mice and men may still become a bust. I was extremely disappointed in 2017 not to see it, but the disappointment led to an amazing experience later. I would not have gone to Vermont where I got to snuggle ragdoll kittens and ride an Icelandic horse. I may not have gone to Boston as well, had I not missed out. Missing out can lead to better things. We never know what the universe has in store for us. Often it is even better than we could have imagined. There will be times when you carefully plan a bucket list item, you may like me spend a little more or travel a little further just to fulfill this experience only to have your plan dashed to pieces. These are moments of opportunity, be on the lookout for other chances and make the most of the time regardless. Even if I had missed out on totality, I still would have several other awesome experiences. The third is that there are some things that travel becomes a requirement. However, by being more frugal on our other items we will have plenty of money in the bank for these singular adventures. Lastly, there are many other astronomical events which you can keep an eye out to see. The sky is a window to a vast and amazing universe so look up and see what wonders there are to behold!

How you can complete this or something similar:

Pay attention to the news for stories of local happenings in the sky and try to make plans to either take a day off or come in late to work so you can stay up late to see it. Be aware of where the dark skies are in your area. https://www.darkskymap.com/ If you do want to see a total eclipse, you have several years to save and plan as at the time of this writing the next one will be in 2045. If you want a cheaper viewing, opt to stay at a hotel outside the zone of totality and then drive to the zone early. My sister found a Barnes & Noble to view the eclipse from. She had a comfortable place to wait, access to a cafe, a bathroom and plenty of entertainment. There were stories of people booking hotels cheaply in advance only to have the hotel cancel their service in order to charge astronomical prices. An air b’n’b was going for 1,000 a night before in the path of totality. My sister found a much cheaper option outside the area and I found some friends.

If this isn’t your cup of tea, you can still consider the principle of this item. Mainly, completing a childhood dream. I had been waiting almost 25 years to be able to see an total eclipse and while it was a more expensive item, requiring more planning and travel, it was worth it. Part of the point of spending less, while living more is so when these sorts of opportunities come around, I have the means to complete them. Keep an eye out for opportunities to pursue your dreams and don’t be afraid to jump on them.

Completed: April 8, 2024

Miles from home: 430 miles

Cost: About $600 (estimated increase without friend support: $800-900)

It is quite tempting to go to other people’s bucket lists and put down whatever they have put down. Many are things that just seem like they ought to go on a bucket list, throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game or summiting a mountain. We put them down on the list because those seem like things we “ought” to do. However, that is not the essence of this sort of bucket list! Know thyself is our rallying cry!

The entire point is for us to live our lives to the fullest right where we are and that does not mean living someone else’s life. I would never put down throwing a pitch out at a baseball game or going to the Super Bowl. I don’t like sports. I don’t like watching them or playing them so why on earth would I include something like that on my list? I know this may seem rather strange as with the reverse bucket list, I encouraged people to put down items they may not even seemingly care about. However, that was about cultivating a spirit of gratitude for what you have already gotten and a spirit of childlike adventure as you go about living out your day to day life. It was not for us to become anything other than we are. I mean I might want to summit a mountain at some point, I do like hiking but I don’t LOVE hiking, so maybe a small one as like a physical challenge, but I’m not climbing to the peak of Mount Everest. It’s cold and way too much snow.

We don’t want our energy to get focused on following the dreams of other people and losing our own sense of self in the societal expectations of the things we ought to pursue. If you find yourself engaging in activities for the likes, comments and accolades of others then chances are that “bucket” list item should have never been there in the first place because it didn’t come from your own real desire. Not only are we giving into pressures to spend our precious time and energy doing something that we don’t actually want to do, we cheapen any joy we may get out of doing it by not living in the moment. Doing something outside your norm should be about self discovery and exploration not about your social media and certainly not about meeting other people’s expectations!

It’s not that something that you wouldn’t necessarily do should never be on your list, but the reason for it being on your list should resonate with you. My sister often is my go to person for my adventures and there have been times when she has suggested an adventure or experience that wouldn’t be on my radar like woodworking. It’s not an activity that has ever “spoken” to me, but I am willing to give it a shot and see, to learn something new. It’s still within the realm of something I’d enjoy doing. I have enjoyed many different sorts of crafts, so why not that one? That is the self-discovery part, trying new things and learning about myself. I am certain that when I do embark on it, if I approach it mindfully, I shall enjoy it immensely, learn something new and develop a greater appreciation for the craft.

As I said earlier, I wouldn’t put on my list throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game on my list, but let’s say I had a dear friend who offered this experience as well as a chance to meet the players and other things around the baseball game. I might very well take them up on this offer if I were exploring other aspects around baseball. Something that greatly interests me is anthropology. I could very well go to such a cultural event if for no other reason than to fully immerse myself in it from a more intellectual and cerebral perspective. I may be intrigued by the traditions and rituals surrounding the event. Suddenly the act of throwing out the first pitch as participation in these becomes something much more exciting and intriguing for me. I may develop a greater appreciation for my friend’s passion, understanding his connection to the tribe of his team and the significance it plays in his life. It becomes more about gaining a new perspective on someone I care deeply for and allowing myself to see their passion through their eyes rather than my own. I have found that almost any topic intrigues me when a passionate expert shares it with me, so while I won’t add it to my list it’s not something I would necessary turn down flat if offered depending on who was asking.

Sometimes you just gotta be a little silly!

It is about being intentional not only in the things we decide to do but also in the act itself. When we’re doing something for outside acceptance it will be spent getting just the right pictures and thinking about what it will look like on social media rather than truly being present. This goes for things that we want to do as well but even more so with things that do not resonate with who we are. Sharing things on social media is all well and good to have those we care about share in our joy. However, it goes beyond simply sharing a joyful moment or capturing a memory then you’re probably sucking the soul right out of the experience. It is about cultivating real, authentic experiences which enrich our lives, not chasing the image of what someone else thinks our lives should look like. This goes for any goal or life milestone. Our lives are far too short to be caught up in the oughts or shoulds of expectations, especially when we have so many oughts and shoulds that are required for minimal comforts like getting a job and paying our electric bill. When you are looking back at your life do you want to live in regret having chased down other people’s approval and status or do you want to look back with joyful gratitude for a life well lived?

Tag: follow your dreams

The Great American Eclipse of 2024

Don’t Live Some Else’s Life