The title of this post comes from one of my favorite Bible verses and is in part the inspiration for this blog. This blog is intended to encourage you to live to invest in your mental health, stop chasing the false narratives of consumerism, over consumption and influencers and to live your best life. So what is a more appropriate Bucket List item than to encourage others? After all, when we build others up, we also build ourselves.
There’s an interesting story about a farmer who won the farm show every year for his amazing crops. What puzzled people was that he would take the seeds from his award winning produce and share them with his neighbors. When asked why, he said that by having superior crops nearby it helped enhance his own with cross pollination. In other words, helping others, helped him. Which is something that really resonates with me. As someone in the social services field, I want to help create a better world not only for the people I am helping but also because it will help create a better world for me.
In early 2021, with the ongoing pandemic, I watched mental health illness and a general sense of hopelessness grow in my community. It was as if in the midst of all the lockdowns, anxiety, stress a darkness was descending everywhere. Social media, which was already not the greatest place to spend your time, had become a toxic cesspool of hatred and vitriol as everyone struggled to cope. I don’t know all my neighbors, their struggles or what is going on in their lives, but I knew that at least some of them probably needed a pick me up. I knew I certainly could have benefited from it. So, I rolled up my proverbial sleeves and made a plan to bring some light in the middle of all these shadows.
I counted up the houses in my neighborhood and procured a small gift for each of them. In this case, it was a small make-up kit which I found at a greatly reduced price from Nordstrom. As my neighborhood is only about 10 or so houses, it was relatively inexpensive to include a small token along with the note. I then wrote a note to each of them offering encouragement and hope. Mostly something along the lines that we’re all going through a rough time and that I hope this small gift would bring them some joy.
I waited until the middle of the week when I knew most would be away as evidenced by the lack of cars in driveways and then launched my plan. Which really consistent of walking around for maybe 5 minutes leaving the gift at each doorstep. It was hardly mission impossible. There was nothing connecting it back to me, no name or indication as to whom it came from, that was never the point. The point was of course to be anonymous to simply offer a point of light in the darkness.
I do not know if anyone ever connected it back to me, no one has ever acknowledged the gesture, but what I do know is that it seemed to strengthen the ties in the neighborhood. I had noticed over the course of the pandemic that people had withdrawn back into their houses. They stopped chatting and waving. They didn’t go out of their way to be helpful to one another as we once did. For a year, we’d all be holding one another at arm’s length and it seemed difficult to breakdown the barrier. After that simple gift, I noticed they started reaching out to one another more and to strengthen the ties of the small community.
When we are kind to others, it spread kindness. However, often when we are kind it begins a reciprocal relationship that does not necessarily spread outward from the dyad. When we are kind to strangers or anonymously, that kindness is amplified to beyond ourselves. I loved seeing how the one small act prompted other small acts even if it just helped change the vibe of the neighborhood to a place where we do reach out rather than withdraw.
I’ve written in another post about community resilience like when the water main broke in my town and shut down main street or when a hurricane caused the annual art show to be canceled. A few people stood up and said, we will make a difference, we will encourage one another. Then the community rallied behind it. I’ve driven past signs on people’s mailboxes that say “You are awesome” and it brought a smile to my face. I’ve walked into the bathroom to see written on the mirror “You are loved” and my day brightened.
We never know what doing something for a stranger may do for them. However, there are many stories about how something as small as a smile can stop a suicide or help someone make a decision to turn their life around. Perhaps, all I did was make people smile, perhaps it saved a life. The point is to be the light that we wish to see in the world and the best thing about the activity was that it took almost no time at all. Kindness often does not. What it takes is noticing a potential need and responding to it, letting someone know that they are seen and that they matter. You don’t need to necessarily get it perfect. After all, my neighbors may not have needed the make-up the point was to let them know that someone cares about them.
Not every item on a BucketList is about enriching your own life. Afterall, here at Budget Bliss Bucket List, we want to pursue a life well lived and that means enriching other people’s lives as well. We become the best versions of ourselves when we practice generosity and gratitude. Chasing an influencer life for likes and attention, doesn’t leave us with meaning. Going on a vacation is fun, pampering yourself at the spa is important for self-care, but we miss something important when we don’t forget to give back.
I shall have to write a post about one’s wellness wheel, but the idea is that we have to make sure that we’re living a life in balance, filling each part of our wheel to be in balance. When one part of our wheel is “flat” the wheel doesn’t turn and we usually feel like we’re off, possibly stressed or even burned out. Making sure to take time to include items like this helps keep our wheel turning smoothly.
How can you be the light for others?
It’s easy! Count up your neighbor’s houses and write notes of encouragement. Then when the timing is right, drop them off. The alternative is to leave them around your community for strangers to find. You can even sneak around at night with chalk and write notes on the sidewalk for people to see. It takes almost no time at all and no money. Which is why this is a perfect budget friendly item to include on your list.
Completed: 2021
Cost: $10 per household but it can be practically free
Miles from home: 0
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 