Tag: Budget

Don’t Live Some Else’s Life

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It is quite tempting to go to other people’s bucket lists and put down whatever they have put down. Many are things that just seem like they ought to go on a bucket list, throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game or summiting a mountain. We put them down on the list because those seem like things we “ought” to do. However, that is not the essence of this sort of bucket list! Know thyself is our rallying cry! 

The entire point is for us to live our lives to the fullest right where we are and that does not mean living someone else’s life. I would never put down throwing a pitch out at a baseball game or going to the Super Bowl. I don’t like sports. I don’t like watching them or playing them so why on earth would I include something like that on my list? I know this may seem rather strange as with the reverse bucket list, I encouraged people to put down items they may not even seemingly care about. However, that was about cultivating a spirit of gratitude for what you have already gotten and a spirit of childlike adventure as you go about living out your day to day life. It was not for us to become anything other than we are. I mean I might want to summit a mountain at some point, I do like hiking but I don’t LOVE hiking, so maybe a small one as like a physical challenge, but I’m not climbing to the peak of Mount Everest. It’s cold and way too much snow.

Lantern Festival, it was windy!

We don’t want our energy to get focused on following the dreams of other people and losing our own sense of self in the societal expectations of the things we ought to pursue. If you find yourself engaging in activities for the likes, comments and accolades of others then chances are that “bucket” list item should have never been there in the first place because it didn’t come from your own real desire. Not only are we giving into pressures to spend our precious time and energy doing something that we don’t actually want to do, we cheapen any joy we may get out of doing it by not living in the moment. Doing something outside your norm should be about self discovery and exploration not about your social media and certainly not about meeting other people’s expectations!

It’s not that something that you wouldn’t necessarily do should never be on your list, but the reason for it being on your list should resonate with you. My sister often is my go to person for my adventures and there have been times when she has suggested an adventure or experience that wouldn’t be on my radar like woodworking. It’s not an activity that has ever “spoken” to me, but I am willing to give it a shot and see, to learn something new. It’s still within the realm of something I’d enjoy doing. I have enjoyed many different sorts of crafts, so why not that one? That is the self-discovery part, trying new things and learning about myself. I am certain that when I do embark on it, if I approach it mindfully, I shall enjoy it immensely, learn something new and develop a greater appreciation for the craft. 

As I said earlier, I wouldn’t put on my list throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game on my list, but let’s say I had a dear friend who offered this experience as well as a chance to meet the players and other things around the baseball game. I might very well take them up on this offer if I were exploring other aspects around baseball. Something that greatly interests me is anthropology. I could very well go to such a cultural event if for no other reason than to fully immerse myself in it from a more intellectual and cerebral perspective. I may be intrigued by the traditions and rituals surrounding the event. Suddenly the act of throwing out the first pitch as participation in these becomes something much more exciting and intriguing for me. I may develop a greater appreciation for my friend’s passion, understanding his connection to the tribe of his team and the significance it plays in his life. It becomes more about gaining a new perspective on someone I care deeply for and allowing myself to see their passion through their eyes rather than my own. I have found that almost any topic intrigues me when a passionate expert shares it with me, so while I won’t add it to my list it’s not something I would necessary turn down flat if offered depending on who was asking.

Sometimes you just gotta be a little silly!

It is about being intentional not only in the things we decide to do but also in the act itself. When we’re doing something for outside acceptance it will be spent getting just the right pictures and thinking about what it will look like on social media rather than truly being present. This goes for things that we want to do as well but even more so with things that do not resonate with who we are. Sharing things on social media is all well and good to have those we care about share in our joy. However, it goes beyond simply sharing a joyful moment or capturing a memory then you’re probably sucking the soul right out of the experience. It is about cultivating real, authentic experiences which enrich our lives, not chasing the image of what someone else thinks our lives should look like. This goes for any goal or life milestone. Our lives are far too short to be caught up in the oughts or shoulds of expectations, especially when we have so many oughts and shoulds that are required for minimal comforts like getting a job and paying our electric bill. When you are looking back at your life do you want to live in regret having chased down other people’s approval and status or do you want to look back with joyful gratitude for a life well lived? 

See a Live Play: Shakespeare in the Park

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Perhaps, I owe many of these adventures to my mother because while she did not teach me these principles directly she set the example. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. I wore my sister’s clothing once she grew out of it, shopped at thrift stores and grocery outlets, ate leftovers, and used the library as a primary source of entertainment. We rarely went on trips longer than a day, but my mother worked hard to ensure my childhood was still enriched. She scoured the newspapers and kept her ear to the ground for low cost or free events. It was at a time when the internet didn’t really exist and being on the lower end of the economic scale, we were late adopters of most technology. I remember going to things like a bank opening and riding a pony, visiting museums when it was free admission for kids and going to concerts at our church or library. One of these events was the annual Shakespeare in the park play and it remains to this day one of my favorite childhood memories. 

Every summer, we’d pack up a picnic dinner, chairs, blankets and head to the park. We’d stake our place among the quickly growing crowd. After eating sandwiches and drinking the rare soda, my brother, sister and I were allowed to go play on the playground with the other children until the play began. We would let our imagination run wild on the playground imagining dragons or fairies around every corner. We would make quick friends of the other children that were there to join in our games even though the friendship lasted less than an hour. Despite our fun, our parents never had to entice us away from the playground because we were so eager to watch the real magic begin. There was nothing so enchanting as a play by the bard himself.

Lake at Longs Park

The plays were put on by the Theater of the Seventh Sister, named after the seventh star of the pleiades constellation. It was a group that put on performances from the late 80’s through late 2010’s. These were by no means broadway spectacles but it didn’t matter with the generous support of the community, these phenomenal actors and actresses brought Shakespeare’s comedies to life each year as part of a larger arts in the park summer series. I remember sitting on a blanket at just eight years old completely spellbound as they spoke in the poetry of the plays, absorbing the rhythm of iambic pentameter. The heat of the summer melted away and I was transported to another place and time. The experience solidified both my adoration of Shakespeare and my love of live theater. 

I will not hold up theater over film or television as some sort of superior artform nor will I say that the opposite is true. Both have their place, but film and television is far more common and unfortunately far more accessible. Many people have not had the opportunity or privilege of watching a live performance. It is very different to see a story spring forth with moving sets and props. The way they speak to communicate emotions is not the same way as in a film, their movements and expressions are more exaggerated. 

The Globe by Richard Croft is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

It is fun to see how the same words can be reinterpreted by an actor, with different emphases or cadences. Where one might let their voice break of heartbreak, another may get more forceful with anger, both valid interpretations. I often find myself responding more on an emotional level to a live performance than to a recorded one on a screen. Perhaps because there is a more direct connection with a live person, when one could reach out and touch them, it feels somehow more real even if the sets are clearly more fake. That is the strange paradox of a live performance, when so much is stripped away by the very nature of a play, what is left can seem more real than a movie filmed with a full set. I do not remember all the films I have seen. I do not usually have strong emotional reactions to movies. I certainly don’t remember most of the episodes of the hundreds of shows I’ve consumed, but I do remember the plays. I remember how they made me feel. I remember how the actors moved, the inflection in their voices. I remember magic. To this day, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, The Tempest, A Comedy of Heirs and The Taming of the Shrew remain etched in my mind. I can still hear the echoing voices projected from the amphitheater. 

How you can complete this item: 

If you have not seen a live play, I do recommend you go to one. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare. While he is considered by many to be one of the greatest playwrights that ever lived, he is not for everyone, much in the same way not everyone enjoys Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals or think Taylor Swift is the greatest song writer that ever graced the stage (I would be one of those people). Find what would interest you, there are plenty of plays to interest anyone. Be like my mother, scour the newspapers (or facebook events page) to see what live shows may be in your area. Many cities support the arts and try to help the public access them by putting on shows in places like parks or larger theaters. Pack a picnic, let the kids play on the playground until the show begins and then lean back in your chair and lose yourself for an hour or two in something truly phenomenal. 

Completed: Childhood

Miles from home: 12

Cost: Free

Living Life to the Fullest Where You Are

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We have all been there, browsing through the internet of far-flung places dreaming of all the place we long to visit, the things we’d see, the activities we’d do. We put them on a list either mental or physical for later. We may scroll through social media bombarded with advertisements for “cheap” travel options. We may not even be all that picky about the place and would happily take advantage of the last-minute deal, if not for the various barriers most of us face. How would we take time off?  Even if we have enough PTO to travel, we may in the middle of an important project that demands our attention. Who would watch our pets? Boarding them can sometimes be as expensive as the vacation. Plus, all the hidden fees and additional costs are not necessarily thought of when booking that flight. There’s hotels, taxis, buses and more. Even without these barriers, a trip may only come once a year, if we are lucky because it isn’t getting any cheaper to live. We have bills to pay and obligations to meet. Most of us are not travel bloggers where we get paid to travel. So our list gets ever longer and usually more expensive as time goes on, with few of those items ever getting checked off. Moreover, we find ourselves sitting at home day after day, scrolling through feed of influencers, travel sites and youtube videos and not actually going out and living!

But why do we want to travel so much? What is it we are truly hoping to experience? Do you wish to try new things? Experience different cultures? See history? Hear music? Speak with interesting people? Perhaps, learn a language? To embrace the spirit of adventure! Like you, I had a list of many things I would want to see, do, and experience and perhaps, blindly attached those things to specific places. However, much of what we want to experience in our travels is not attached to a specific place as those things can be as mobile as we are. Want to taste authentic French food? A quick google search can lead me to a restaurant owned by a French couple just 40 minutes away. Want to visit a Thai temple? Perhaps, there is one only two hours away, beautifully constructed and looks as if it were translocated right out of south east Asia.

You may find that they hold services on Sunday and that the experience of attending a service is far more immersive and informative of Thai culture than simply touring one among a throng of other tourists where the sacredness of the space has been transformed into a hallowed capitalist ghost of its former self – as was my experience with Notre Dam. Oh, the history of the place was still there but it did not hold a candle to entering the Basilica of Sacré Coeur de Montmartre most notably because the tourists were an afterthought. You were welcome to come in, but you could not take pictures, you were required to be quiet and respectful of the worship which was still ongoing. The Notre Dam was interesting, but I could have acquired the same experience from a book and some google image searches as it was a soulless enterprise. The Basilica was an immersion into French Catholic culture. One may very well find a much more authentic experience going to a small temple or other place of worship in their own backyard than traveling around the world to a tourist trap. This is what I mean by not blindly attaching an experience to a place.  

Now of course if seeing the Great Wall of China in person is on your list the likelihood of you seeing it elsewhere is quite slim. However, there are things about China that you could experience in your area. For instance, each year Philadelphia (in my backyard of Pennsylvania) hosts a phenomenal Chinese festival showcasing authentic Chinese culture and heritage, music, art, cuisine, language, and people. I had the opportunity of seeing a Chinese art installment at a university while visiting friends in Michigan and the Detroit Institute of Art has an entire section devoted to China allowing me to see both modern and classical eras of Chinese art. I have had the great pleasure of experiencing the culture of China though the likelihood of me going there is quite slim as there are other places that I have prioritized above China on my list of places to go. In Washington, they hold an annual Cherry Blossom Festival which showcases Japanese Culture. Despite being on nearly the other side of the world, a quick car ride and the right timing is all I need to enjoy authentic Asian culture.

Archery Demonstration at Japanese Culture Festival in Washington D.C.

The point is not to knock traveling. There is certainly a place for it. The point is that we do not need to travel far to start checking things off our list and live in the spirit of adventure we long for. Most of us do not have jobs which afford us the means to travel as often as we like or experience the things we want to experience whilst traveling. We are not travel bloggers, social media influencers or possessors of rich spouses who can send us off on holiday whenever the mood strikes us. We are middle class or poor who yearn to go on our own adventures, to see and experience the wide world. I hope that my simple record of my adventures closer to home (and a few abroad) will encourage you to embrace the spirit of adventure, to get creative with your bucket list and develop a better self-understanding of what you truly want out of life to live it to its fullest right where you are.