I think one of the reasons everything seems so much better on a vacation is because we’re able to leave behind the worries, stresses, and responsibilities of everyday life. IWhen I do go on vacation, not only do I leave it behind, I almost always have a “flex” day for when I return, I make sure all bills are paid up early and I make sure my house is spotless before I go. This means that I don’t have to worry about returning to housework, everything is paid for and I still have an extra day where I’m not working. I have an entire day to prepare to “return” to the mundanity of life with all the worries, stresses and responsibilities of everyday life. It also means that I don’t have to begin to prepare to return until after the vacation is completely over thus “protecting” the vacation mindset. Another protection I give myself is having things fairly planned out, with room to change them if the need arises, but having done most of the decision making beforehand means that not even the worry of a decision can possibly bother me.
Sidenote: The flex day is usually spent snuggling my pets who missed me and ensures that I meet their emotional needs after being separated from me. It’s like a whole bonus vacation day and I love absolutely it.
Because we’re able to “set aside” our “real” lives while away, it means that we are much more able to focus on what’s happening to really enjoy what’s happening in the present and savor those moments. Vacations just feel more fun even if we’re doing an activity that we could arguably do at home.
Consider going to the beach or the lake. A day at the beach or lake nearby is lovely, but what about say going on a cruise and picking a day at a tropical beach. Objectively, a beach is a beach. Sand, check. Water check. Waves check. Yet, in comparison to my last day at the beach on the Atlantic coast vs my day at the beach on my cruise. The cruise one stands out as better. Why? Both trips, I spent time swimming in the water and then laid out under some shade to read my book. Perhaps it was less crowded, but I went to a less crowded beach before. Perhaps, it’s because I didn’t have to lug my chairs and towels. Maybe? Or perhaps it was the mindset I was in. I was mindful to be in the present. It seemed better because I was more relaxed and worry free. I simply was in the moment. All I was concerned about was the beautiful weather, the feel of sand between my toes and the gentle lapping of the waves as I sipped a drink and read. I was in my body in a way that I wasn’t really before.
I would hazard a guess that was the biggest difference, not the location, not the fact that I was on a cruise or whatever else, but my mindset. If I went away for a vacation and life followed me there, I probably would be miserable and perhaps, vow to never visit that location again having associated it with a terrible experience. No wonder we’re all looking to escape to far flung places rather than living where we’re at.
So how does one cultivate a vacation mindset while doing things at home, perhaps on the weekend, a single day off or on an evening out? First, you must create some boundaries around those activities. For me, I may schedule a preparation evening the day before. One where I do a more thorough cleaning of the house or at least make sure it’s well straightened up so that when I leave to go do what I want to do, a bunch of housework isn’t lingering behind in my mind’s eye. I may look ahead of upcoming responsibilities such as bills or projects I need to get done and try to get as many of them done beforehand. My alternative is to have on my calendar a block of time dedicated to those activities. I find that when I block out time to get a task done, the stress associated with it diminishes greatly. Mostly because my brain is able to accept it will get done and then not worry about it. It also means disconnecting, airplane mode can be your friend or if you’re too afraid of that because you have children at home and you want to make sure you’re available in an emergency, setting your phone to “Do not Disturb” where you can still get phone calls in an absolute emergency. All of these things help me set a boundary to keep the outside world out of my leisure activities.
By setting a boundary with the rest of the world, it’s much easier to cultivate mindfulness. What do I mean by mindfulness? I mean being fully present in the moment, being aware of the physical realm around you and your own body. One could call it being grounded in your current reality without being distracted by things in the past and the future. This allows you to turn the mundane into something extraordinary. Consider a trip to the farmer’s market. Apparently, this fairly ordinary thing here in Lancaster is a coveted activity by many a tourist and don’t get me started on the “farm to table experience” that people pay an arm and a leg for or as I call it Wednesday night’s dinner.
When I go shopping, I am on a mission. I get in and out as quickly as possible, I have a list, I know where the items are at and I don’t want to spend a single moment lingering. I am busy and I have things to do. A tourist on the other hand, linger. They pick up the fruit and smell it. They admire the textures and colors of the different vegetables. They see the display baskets as quaint, harkening back to the days when all our food was sold in little markets and stands such as this one. They admire the baked goods, mouths almost watering in anticipation. They strike up a conversation with the farmer behind the counter asking curious questions. For them, this is their bucket list experience. For me it’s grocery shopping. The same place, the same activity, two completely different experiences.
What might I find if I scheduled some extra time in my busy schedule to meander through the aisles? What delights might my eyes see? What smells might make my own mouth water if only I would pay attention? If one can turn grocery shopping into a bucket list experience, what might happen if when one goes to an event like a festival, concert or museum one cultivates this same mindset? As for Wednesday night’s dinner, a trip to Root’s Farmers Market on Tuesday can yield a farm to table experience without the price tag. Buy direct from the farmer at their stand to make in your own kitchen.
If you take time to cultivate moments to be on vacation, even for an afternoon, you will find you are more refreshed and better equipped for the daily inconveniences and stresses of life. It is different than escaping into your phone which is merely a distraction and often fuels negative feelings about yourself. Unless you’ve carefully trained the instagram algorithm to only show you cat videos – which I have intentionally from day one – scrolling on social media will not help you feel better. Being mindful connects you back to your body, relaxes you and allows you to cultivate moments of joy and gratitude even for simple things like a bushel of tomatoes.
It isn’t about what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it. We can create amazing moments in the ordinary if we only open our eyes to see what a wonderful world we live in.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 