Tag: Enriched not Rich

Don’t Live Some Else’s Life

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It is quite tempting to go to other people’s bucket lists and put down whatever they have put down. Many are things that just seem like they ought to go on a bucket list, throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game or summiting a mountain. We put them down on the list because those seem like things we “ought” to do. However, that is not the essence of this sort of bucket list! Know thyself is our rallying cry! 

The entire point is for us to live our lives to the fullest right where we are and that does not mean living someone else’s life. I would never put down throwing a pitch out at a baseball game or going to the Super Bowl. I don’t like sports. I don’t like watching them or playing them so why on earth would I include something like that on my list? I know this may seem rather strange as with the reverse bucket list, I encouraged people to put down items they may not even seemingly care about. However, that was about cultivating a spirit of gratitude for what you have already gotten and a spirit of childlike adventure as you go about living out your day to day life. It was not for us to become anything other than we are. I mean I might want to summit a mountain at some point, I do like hiking but I don’t LOVE hiking, so maybe a small one as like a physical challenge, but I’m not climbing to the peak of Mount Everest. It’s cold and way too much snow.

Lantern Festival, it was windy!

We don’t want our energy to get focused on following the dreams of other people and losing our own sense of self in the societal expectations of the things we ought to pursue. If you find yourself engaging in activities for the likes, comments and accolades of others then chances are that “bucket” list item should have never been there in the first place because it didn’t come from your own real desire. Not only are we giving into pressures to spend our precious time and energy doing something that we don’t actually want to do, we cheapen any joy we may get out of doing it by not living in the moment. Doing something outside your norm should be about self discovery and exploration not about your social media and certainly not about meeting other people’s expectations!

It’s not that something that you wouldn’t necessarily do should never be on your list, but the reason for it being on your list should resonate with you. My sister often is my go to person for my adventures and there have been times when she has suggested an adventure or experience that wouldn’t be on my radar like woodworking. It’s not an activity that has ever “spoken” to me, but I am willing to give it a shot and see, to learn something new. It’s still within the realm of something I’d enjoy doing. I have enjoyed many different sorts of crafts, so why not that one? That is the self-discovery part, trying new things and learning about myself. I am certain that when I do embark on it, if I approach it mindfully, I shall enjoy it immensely, learn something new and develop a greater appreciation for the craft. 

As I said earlier, I wouldn’t put on my list throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game on my list, but let’s say I had a dear friend who offered this experience as well as a chance to meet the players and other things around the baseball game. I might very well take them up on this offer if I were exploring other aspects around baseball. Something that greatly interests me is anthropology. I could very well go to such a cultural event if for no other reason than to fully immerse myself in it from a more intellectual and cerebral perspective. I may be intrigued by the traditions and rituals surrounding the event. Suddenly the act of throwing out the first pitch as participation in these becomes something much more exciting and intriguing for me. I may develop a greater appreciation for my friend’s passion, understanding his connection to the tribe of his team and the significance it plays in his life. It becomes more about gaining a new perspective on someone I care deeply for and allowing myself to see their passion through their eyes rather than my own. I have found that almost any topic intrigues me when a passionate expert shares it with me, so while I won’t add it to my list it’s not something I would necessary turn down flat if offered depending on who was asking.

Sometimes you just gotta be a little silly!

It is about being intentional not only in the things we decide to do but also in the act itself. When we’re doing something for outside acceptance it will be spent getting just the right pictures and thinking about what it will look like on social media rather than truly being present. This goes for things that we want to do as well but even more so with things that do not resonate with who we are. Sharing things on social media is all well and good to have those we care about share in our joy. However, it goes beyond simply sharing a joyful moment or capturing a memory then you’re probably sucking the soul right out of the experience. It is about cultivating real, authentic experiences which enrich our lives, not chasing the image of what someone else thinks our lives should look like. This goes for any goal or life milestone. Our lives are far too short to be caught up in the oughts or shoulds of expectations, especially when we have so many oughts and shoulds that are required for minimal comforts like getting a job and paying our electric bill. When you are looking back at your life do you want to live in regret having chased down other people’s approval and status or do you want to look back with joyful gratitude for a life well lived? 

Combating Over-tourism: Stay Home

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There is a growing problem in the world that has exploded post pandemic: overtourism. It was a problem prior to the pandemic, but it has increased exponentially after several years of people being cooped up and prevented from traveling with little signs of stopping. This has resulted in iconic places being overrun by tourists turning once beloved authentic experiences into Disney World attractions with about as much spirit and an equal amount of crowds. 

How can one even enjoy these places with the crowds and the jostling for position? How can you say that you were actually in a place if all you did was stand in line, snap a picture of yourself there and move on to the next “iconic” spot in the area? At least at Disney World the line culminates in a 60 second ride rather than a 10 second picture, as you will feel equally soulless afterward. To be fair, the enjoyment you will get from that experience will most likely be from the many likes and shares that you get; an equally fleeting reward as a ride but less honest, at least the ride isn’t pretending to be something it isn’t. 

The crowd at the fountain was shockingly huge even late at night. As you can see, there was no way to get a shot without people in the background.

The local population suffers for our own over indulgence. Short term rentals push residents out of their homes and local food markets cater to tourists looking for a grab and go snack rather than produce for a home cooked meal. Local festivals, once a point of pride for residents, become activities they no longer recognize nor enjoy as their voices and concerns are drowned out by the ring of outside cash. 

Worse, in participating in this overtourism, you are contributing to the ruination of the very thing you espouse desiring to preserve. We travel for the cultural experience to interact with people and places that are different from us to enrich our lives and to support the existence of that precious human expression in an increasingly homogeneous, industrialized and globalized world. It would be better to watch a documentary and never step foot in Venice than to contribute to its ever increasing decline. Given the declining likelihood of encountering locals its not like you’ll be missing out on interacting directly with the local populace. 

By staying closer to home, I am ensuring that I am not contributing to the problem of over-tourism elsewhere. It also means that I can enjoy similar bucket list experiences, but with less crowds. I do live in a tourist area and we are seeing an increase of tourism and in some cases, over-tourism. Luckily, most of the tourists are focused on Amish and farm experiences, leaving the things I want to do alone. Sometimes going to a specific place that is known for a certain thing is the worst thing you can do for your bucket list experience because of over-tourism. You will be dealing with crowds and shortened snippets of the very thing you came to do. 

When I was in the Cayman Islands we went to the turtle center where we had the opportunity to wade with the turtles after the tour and before being set free to explore the center on our own. Because it was a tour group of about forty people we were only given a few minutes to wade with the turtles and interact with them. This resulted in people trying to frantically take pictures in the short time they were given and of course the shots were full of people. It meant we weren’t actually focused on the activity that we were there to do, interact with and enjoy the turtles. I went back to the wading pools about 40 minutes later in between tour groups when there was almost no one present. I was able to get into a pool with the turtles by myself, my sister snapped a few pictures of me in the pool while I was able to completely focus on the turtles. I barely remember the first time I went in because the clock was ticking and there were too many people jostling and getting in the way. Yes, we all got a turn and it was in the interest of allowing everyone the opportunity to enjoy these beautiful creatures. However, it wasn’t the experience I dreamed about having when I first booked my tour. It was only when I was able to get away from the crowd and be mindful about what I was doing that I was able to have the moment I wanted.

Once the crowd cleared, I was able to spend an intimate moment with the turtles

I also tell people to skip the Mona Lisa, as it is so small, protected behind thick glass in a dimly lit area, surrounded by a throng of people all vying for a picture held back by a rope, you may as well look at it online for all the good seeing it in person will do you. Besides, it’s only special because some nutter waxed poetic about it in some book before pictures in art books were more common and then it was stolen for a bit causing a sensation around the whole thing when it was finally returned. The nonsense surrounding it never really died down. Go look at DaVinci’s lesser known works if you are so inclined to see a Da Vinci in person, and if you don’t know much about his technique and art in general enough to appreciate it, then by all means don’t bother with him at all and spend your time looking at art you actually like! There are plenty of other artists from that age who were talented and innovative. There are some artists who may arguably be better – art enthusiasts please don’t die of shock reading this. And if it’s not your thing, certainly don’t waste precious time on any of the Italian Renaissance painters, there’s a great wide world of art out there just waiting to be discovered! Perhaps later after you’ve developed a great appreciation you may wish to return to Da Vinci, but then it will be something you actually want to do. Although, no matter how much I learn about sports that I do enjoy (archery, horseback riding, falconry), I have yet to develop an interest in the more common ones (soccer, football, baseball), art may be the same for you. And, that’s okay! It isn’t an indictment on your character, intelligence or worth as a person! Some people have a more narrow interest in certain areas. 

The point being if you go to a place that is overrun with tourists you won’t be able to enjoy the very thing you set out to enjoy in the first place and you are far better not bothering with all the packing, planning, flying, walking and standing about in a line. You may as well find something similar closer to home that you can actually enjoy. Not that you can’t learn to be mindful in a crowd of people and enjoy something despite all the barriers but it’s going to be damned hard when you’re given all of 30 seconds to snap a picture and ogle the view. 

Don’t let the picture full you, I didn’t hop on a plane to visit this Japanese Garden, I drove less than two hours!

You may actually be quite surprised at the things that are nearby that you thought you had to cross oceans to find. Living in Pennsylvania I discovered that I could attend a tea ceremony demonstration in the Japanese Gardens just outside of Philadelphia. It is home to a lovingly built Japanese house built exactly as you might find in Japan. There, a small group of Japanese-Americans are willing to share their culture and traditions with visitors. I was able to see some of my top things without any jet lag or expensive plane tickets. I have seen a performance by the Moscow Ballet Company when they graced the stage at Hershey Theater. I have released lanterns to the sky as they might in Asia. I have seen King Tut’s treasures when they were on display in Philadelphia and the treasures of the Russian Tsars. I recently discovered there’s a place in Northern PA that has dog sledding!

Some of those things were chance items that were here for a brief time before moving on and I was able to take the opportunity to see them. However, I was on the lookout for such opportunities because I was being a tourist in my own backyard instead of ever dreaming of places elsewhere. You never know what you might find if you stop looking up at the sky, daydreaming and started looking at what’s happening on the ground where you’re at.

Living Life to the Fullest Where You Are

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We have all been there, browsing through the internet of far-flung places dreaming of all the place we long to visit, the things we’d see, the activities we’d do. We put them on a list either mental or physical for later. We may scroll through social media bombarded with advertisements for “cheap” travel options. We may not even be all that picky about the place and would happily take advantage of the last-minute deal, if not for the various barriers most of us face. How would we take time off?  Even if we have enough PTO to travel, we may in the middle of an important project that demands our attention. Who would watch our pets? Boarding them can sometimes be as expensive as the vacation. Plus, all the hidden fees and additional costs are not necessarily thought of when booking that flight. There’s hotels, taxis, buses and more. Even without these barriers, a trip may only come once a year, if we are lucky because it isn’t getting any cheaper to live. We have bills to pay and obligations to meet. Most of us are not travel bloggers where we get paid to travel. So our list gets ever longer and usually more expensive as time goes on, with few of those items ever getting checked off. Moreover, we find ourselves sitting at home day after day, scrolling through feed of influencers, travel sites and youtube videos and not actually going out and living!

But why do we want to travel so much? What is it we are truly hoping to experience? Do you wish to try new things? Experience different cultures? See history? Hear music? Speak with interesting people? Perhaps, learn a language? To embrace the spirit of adventure! Like you, I had a list of many things I would want to see, do, and experience and perhaps, blindly attached those things to specific places. However, much of what we want to experience in our travels is not attached to a specific place as those things can be as mobile as we are. Want to taste authentic French food? A quick google search can lead me to a restaurant owned by a French couple just 40 minutes away. Want to visit a Thai temple? Perhaps, there is one only two hours away, beautifully constructed and looks as if it were translocated right out of south east Asia.

You may find that they hold services on Sunday and that the experience of attending a service is far more immersive and informative of Thai culture than simply touring one among a throng of other tourists where the sacredness of the space has been transformed into a hallowed capitalist ghost of its former self – as was my experience with Notre Dam. Oh, the history of the place was still there but it did not hold a candle to entering the Basilica of Sacré Coeur de Montmartre most notably because the tourists were an afterthought. You were welcome to come in, but you could not take pictures, you were required to be quiet and respectful of the worship which was still ongoing. The Notre Dam was interesting, but I could have acquired the same experience from a book and some google image searches as it was a soulless enterprise. The Basilica was an immersion into French Catholic culture. One may very well find a much more authentic experience going to a small temple or other place of worship in their own backyard than traveling around the world to a tourist trap. This is what I mean by not blindly attaching an experience to a place.  

Now of course if seeing the Great Wall of China in person is on your list the likelihood of you seeing it elsewhere is quite slim. However, there are things about China that you could experience in your area. For instance, each year Philadelphia (in my backyard of Pennsylvania) hosts a phenomenal Chinese festival showcasing authentic Chinese culture and heritage, music, art, cuisine, language, and people. I had the opportunity of seeing a Chinese art installment at a university while visiting friends in Michigan and the Detroit Institute of Art has an entire section devoted to China allowing me to see both modern and classical eras of Chinese art. I have had the great pleasure of experiencing the culture of China though the likelihood of me going there is quite slim as there are other places that I have prioritized above China on my list of places to go. In Washington, they hold an annual Cherry Blossom Festival which showcases Japanese Culture. Despite being on nearly the other side of the world, a quick car ride and the right timing is all I need to enjoy authentic Asian culture.

Archery Demonstration at Japanese Culture Festival in Washington D.C.

The point is not to knock traveling. There is certainly a place for it. The point is that we do not need to travel far to start checking things off our list and live in the spirit of adventure we long for. Most of us do not have jobs which afford us the means to travel as often as we like or experience the things we want to experience whilst traveling. We are not travel bloggers, social media influencers or possessors of rich spouses who can send us off on holiday whenever the mood strikes us. We are middle class or poor who yearn to go on our own adventures, to see and experience the wide world. I hope that my simple record of my adventures closer to home (and a few abroad) will encourage you to embrace the spirit of adventure, to get creative with your bucket list and develop a better self-understanding of what you truly want out of life to live it to its fullest right where you are.