One thing that I love about my Bucket List is that I’m almost always trying new things. I recently read somewhere that research indicates that when we focus solely on the interests we’re already interested about we can miss out on entirely undiscovered aspects of ourselves. We may limit ourselves artificially without even knowing it. We may love art and never take up a paint brush or admire finely made clothes and never consider sewing.
I never thought I’d enjoy a videogame but I certainly enjoy playing World of Warcraft (I’m a nerd deal with it). I wouldn’t have thought I’d like D’n’D but as it turns out, I do enjoy collaborative storytelling. I’ve discovered I draw the line at larping which was a surprise because I would have thought I’d love dressing up and acting out the story like D’n’D after enjoying D’n’D, going to the Renaissance Faire, acting, etc., but absolutely not for me. My sister is afraid of heights but I have discovered a thrill for them. I’ve learned I like hacking down trees and the physical labor of gardening. I don’t have the patience for a lot of crafts, but I love trying to hone my skills on the violin.
We don’t even need to do them well. We can do something poorly, in fact it’s almost better to do something poorly at first. After all, if we’re good at it then we think that we have a “knack” for it and then when we inevitably come up against a hurtle, we lack the skills we need to overcome. Sometimes just doing something for the sheer thrill of doing it is the best way to learn. When we have fun we aren’t focused so much on doing it perfectly as enjoying ourselves. We’re no longer motivated by outside rewards and people pushing us to do it. We are competing against ourselves, learning our way of doing things and probably becoming better than we would have if it just came easy.
I think it’s good to explore new things that we may have dismissed when we were younger or just missed out on. I remember thinking that learning to ride a horse wasn’t something I could do, but then I spoke with a work colleague who was taking lessons bi-weekly. Another work colleague had joined a small college’s orchestra after taking up the violin again post-high school which in part inspired me to take up the instrument once again. It’s caused me to re-evaluate what I can do as an adult and that maybe I didn’t actually miss out on opportunities or that I could return to things that I did as a child. As it turned out the only person keeping the doors shut to possibilities was me.
I’ve also been pushed to try things I wouldn’t have previously thought to try like Eco-dying, water tubing, and zip-lining. I find myself saying “sure why not” when presented with new adventures and raising my hand to volunteer at public events because “why not”? It was that attitude that pushed me to rent a car in Britain. Before, I’m not sure that I would have had the confidence to drive on the opposite side of the road because I’m dyslexic and ADHD with poor spatial awareness and their roads are tiny. Now granted I didn’t just hop in a car and drive out of London. I knew I was going to be jet lagged, without sleep for over 24 hours (I don’t sleep in planes I have insomnia, it’s a whole thing) and so even driving under normal circumstances would not be advisable let alone in another country, on the opposite side of the road. However, I was undaunted by the idea in part because I am already in the habit of getting outside my comfort zone.
And this is sort of a life hack. When we push ourselves, we feed our confidence and our feelings of competence. Which you may think, “wait, didn’t she just say that some of the stuff she was bad at? So how does it help her feel competent?” Yes! Here’s the awesome, amazing thing, it didn’t kill me! It didn’t end me and in fact, I embraced being bad at it at first because I’ve learned to enjoy the process of mastering something. It’s about learning and growing your inner self not just checking boxes and doing something for an afternoon before swiftly moving on to the next thing. I feel more competent to try things and look foolish even in front of others. I am conquering anxiety and loving it!
We are wired for growth, not stagnation. We are meant to go, explore and conquer. Too many times we assume that we will stay the same person that we are today until we die, that we’ve already completed our growth. However, that’s not the case and studies show that its the people who don’t stop growing that live longer, healthier, happier lives. So what are you waiting for? Go out and try that new thing!
In honor of the coming spring, I’ve decided to do a few travel posts. You see dear reader, it seems that with the end of winter with the warmer weather on the horizon, I always get a bit of wanderlust at this time of year and find myself going to far flung corners of the world. Or at least farther afield than is typical as I certainly can’t afford to travel too far every spring. Perhaps, it’s something in the air, maybe it’s from being cooped up in the house during the cold winter months.
Before we clutch our pearls in shock at such a notion, remember dear reader, I am not against travel. I simply believe that we can live a bucket-list life right where we are and that we needn’t travel frequently to experience amazing things. However, there are times when we do travel, so we may as well do it well, to ensure that it is a wise investment of our limited resources. After all, traveling is expensive and time consuming. As budget conscious people, we certainly don’t want to experience travel regret or wish we had been more thoughtful prior to hopping on a plane and wasting hundreds of dollars on a less than stellar trip. To that end, I hope that these tips will help you make the most of your travels. At this point I believe I am at least a fairly experienced traveler to be speaking on such things.
I shall begin my travel tips with the most fundamental decision of all, where to go.
Now there are many considerations to picking a place to travel. Now you may have a very specific place in mind already. In which case skip this post and read the Travel Tips for the First Time Traveler: The Art of the Deal. In this post, I’m going to share a method of reverse planning or rather than picking a place first and then planning around that. You first plan the big three: time, budget and season and based on those constraints narrow down options of where to go. It can be helpful in managing your budget and ensuring you stay within the constraints of your means. Many people underestimate the cost of their trips and it’s easier to do when blinded by a pre-made decision. This method allows you to place your constraints ahead of time and then plan from there.
My very first consideration would be time, how much time do you realistically have? Time can be a huge constraint. For example, I recently traveled to England after being invited to join a friend in her long term rental down in Penzance. The accommodations were completely free and I naturally took advantage of this. However, it took 2 hours to get to the airport, allowing for the recommended 2.5 hours to get through security and boarding onto the plane before take off, another 6 hour flight, another hour to deboard, get through customs and navigate a new airport, and another 8 hours of buses and trains. I left my house at 2 pm and arrived at 5 pm the next day. The return flight was 7 hours, with almost 2 hours to get through customs, secure our bags, take a bus back to the economy parking and 2 hours to get home. We left the hotel in London at 8 am and arrived home at 7 pm. That wasn’t accounting for the 6 hour train ride back north to London that we took 3 days before our flight to allow us two days in London. Just travel alone was 3 days of our trip. That also didn’t account for recovery days from jet lag which depending on how easily you bounce back from disrupted sleep could take another whole day from your trip. So, I really don’t recommend taking a week to travel across an ocean because you realistically end up with maybe 3 to 4 good days. This is why I took two weeks off of work to allow myself plenty of time for travel to and from, recover, unpack and get ready to return to my normally scheduled programming.
Time really determines a lot of things. It can influence your budget, how far you can travel, what you can do and whether it’s worth adding in things like rental cars and taxis or if you can stick to public transit. After all, public transit adds time to a trip. If I had access to a car that 5 to 6 hour train ride could have been closer to 3 and with the multiple train delays stretching the initial ride down to 8 hours, a car would have been preferable. Time also determines how much you can do. I only had two days in London which meant that I had to be picky about what I did and what I saw. One could spend an entire day at the British Museum but then one will have only seen one museum, granted it packs a lot into one place, but then one isn’t seeing other things. If one rushes through things can one really enjoy it or will you be so exhausted from your vacation you need a vacation to recover from your vacation? It’s very easy to overestimate the amount of time you have which can lead to exhaustion from rushing around and stress from worrying about things like missed train connections, traffic or just getting lost in a strange place.
The other major consideration is of course budget. How much money can you spend on a holiday? Do you have paid time off? If you don’t, then any time off work is calculated into the cost of your trip. The budget can really determine how and where you can travel. Perhaps you can take a 12 hour direct flight to that far flung place, but it costs twice as much as the 20 hour flight with multiple connections. When considering a budget, you should be asking yourself how much are you typically saving in a month, how much have you already saved and how much can you still save? Consider the costs of transportation, accommodations, food and souvenirs. Hint: it is always more than you think, especially if you’re going to places where your currency is weaker than theirs where it’s easy to underestimate how much you’re spending. Just because the flight is cheap doesn’t mean accommodations will be, just because the accommodations are free doesn’t mean the flights will be cheap. I recently read a blog post outlining the actual cost of a trip for a couple who managed to snag really cheap flight tickets. Even though their flight was very affordable, the cost of other transportation, sight-seeing, food, accommodations, etc. for two weeks was still $5,000. So before jumping on that “great deal”, consider the other costs.
To help you plan you may want to check out places like Expatistan, Price of Travel or Numbeo. These resources can help you with your budget to see if where you’re going is actually somewhere you can afford to go. What is cheap to one person may be expensive to another person. If you make 100,000 a year spending 5,000 is only 5% of your yearly salary but if you only make 45,000 then it’s 11% which is a significant difference. However, if you make 100,000 and you’re supporting a family of 5, spending 5,000 is less affordable than if it’s just you and your cats.
The final consideration is the time of year you’re able to travel. My sister’s job requires her to help test major systems updates which happen routinely at certain points of the year. This means there are just certain times when she knows she cannot reasonably take off without it causing a lot of issues for her work and her time off approval is tentative. When I was the Winter Shelter Coordinator for an Emergency Winter Homeless Shelter at one of my jobs, I knew I could not take off during the Winter months for extended periods of time. It was a major job expectation that I would be generally available during that season. There are certain times of the year that just aren’t good for certain destinations. It may look like an amazing deal to go during the off season, but good luck enjoying that tropical beach vacation in Maldives during the rainy season.
Now depending if you’re traveling solo or in a group, you may have to consider what others can afford in terms of time, money and when they can take off. As I previously stated, my sister has a job that semi-dictates when she can take off and I also had a job where I couldn’t take off during the winter months. If you’re traveling with a school employee, you can’t travel much from August through June. Additionally, if your travel companion has limited mobility that can impact when and how you travel. Someone who needs assistance at the airport will most likely need an additional hour or more for pre-boarding. It’s important to have open and honest discussions with your travel companions before you spend a dime.
One subcategory of all these considerations is the type of traveler you are. Do you like museums or the party scene? Do you want to spend your time lounging on the beach or do you want to go hiking? Are you content so long as you have a roof over your head and a pillow under it or do you want a little more luxury? When I was a student studying abroad I traveled as cheaply as I could, snagging deals on Ryanair, booking hostels and buying most of my food at local stores rather than eating out. Are you comfortable flying economy or do you require extra leg room? When traveling to England my mom paid for an upgraded seat both ways because she has had blood clots and decided it was worth having extra leg room and the ability to put her feet up in order to ensure she wasn’t going to spend her trip in the hospital. That impacted her budget.
Once you have your time, budget and season you’ll be traveling, it’s much easier to narrow down where you can go based on your research. Depending on where you’re traveling from you can reasonably estimate how far you can go based on your time. If you’re on the East Coast like me then Europe is a more reasonable flight than from the West Coast. There can be surprises that pop up for example, flying to Costa Rica was a 10 hour flight despite it being about the same distance as the United Kingdom. However, Costa Rica is a lot cheaper to visit. The constraints of your aforementioned decisions can dictate where you’re going to go. If you divide up your budget and discover that you only have about 50 dollars a day then you may need to go to cheaper areas of the world. Once you have your list of possible places to go, you can pick.
There are many reasons to learn a language and this is something I often see on people’s bucket list. However, unlike many of the bucket list items where it is easily checked off in an afternoon, this one takes time and dedication to achieve. I know there are many different ideas around what it means to learn a language. For some people unless you are able to carry out a completely fluent conversation, you did not learn a language. For others, they may say that being able to order food at a restaurant and make their most basic needs known is being fluent. There is an international standard for language learning which goes from A1 to C2 with most countries enforcing a B1 limit on new citizens. Hence the phrase “B1 and done”. It is also nebulous in that it is a skill that needs maintenance.
I double majored in both psychology and German, but I used my psychology degree and not my German degree. I probably would have tested at a B1 or B2 at the time of my graduation, but I would currently test at an A2 level. When I first started reviewing German after a nearly ten year hiatus, I probably would have been at an A1, which demonstrates that if you don’t use it, you lose it. In the ten plus years between graduation and now, I had not used my German at all, which begs the question if in almost ten years I didn’t need it and even now don’t need it, why bother at all?
There are many reasons to learn a language that people quote, the most common, are probably B.S. for most people. How often do we encounter people from other places to establish cross-cultural friends, see a job that requires it or travel? Being a native English speaker I am blessed to know one of the most commonly spoken languages in the world, as such I have not had the difficulty of making cross-cultural friends. Over the years, I have connected with many individuals from Asia, China, South America, Africa and even the Caribbean. I’m on servers with people from all over the globe and we all speak English.
Visiting Berlin during my semester abroad
Now some people will argue that by refusing to be monolingual and expecting the world to accommodate you, that people will find that interesting or commendable. I have had mixed reviews from non-English speakers. I have been berated for not learning their language. Surprisingly enough, I was in Germany for my semester abroad and the Spaniard in the class was telling me that I insulted him by not choosing to learn Spanish. I have also been told by Germans that I shouldn’t bother to learn German and my attempts to do so were offensive and basically unless I was already fluent not to bother them. These were not the most encouraging interactions in my language learning process. I have had other very positive experiences from people when I’ve worked to learn their language, just don’t expect the process to always yield positive results.
As for jobs, unless you are in a particular sector of the economy that will be sending people abroad or working with a particular population in the human services, chances are you will not be needing anything other than English. Travel, as I have noted on this blog before, is something that we don’t really engage with more than a week (if we’re lucky) each year.
To be honest, everyone is going to come to this with their own reasons. They may be doing it for their job, for travel, to expand their mind – increase memory, creativity, attention span, and logical thinking – to get outside their own culture, to better understand languages as a whole, to improve their own native language skills, and for just plain fun. There are people who learn “fake” languages or Conlangs such as Klingon, Na’vi and Dothraki. The desire comes from wanting to fully immerse themselves in a fictionalized world and to connect with others, who like them, are obsessed with the fandom. Some people know every single fact about Taylor Swift’s life; others can hold conversations in High Valyrian. To each their own fandom!
For my own part, I have wanted to learn another language ever since I was young. I felt it was another way to explore the world. To me culture and language were linked and to truly understand a place, I needed to speak the language of that place. I loved learning about other cultures and in particular Irish and German topped my list because that’s what my family is, a mixture of Scots-Irish and German. Our area is predominately of German descent and has many German cultural influences thanks to the strong Amish and Mennonite community here. It’s quite common for us to use German phrases in English such as “it’s all” in order to say “it’s all gone” or “throw me down a pair a socks” which harkens back to the use of German reflective verbs. These are things that are unique to our area not usually found in other places of the English speaking world.
Marburg Castle, Germany
I originally tried French because of my desire to go into music and my mother really pushed for me to do French. Honestly, as a dyslexic, French is terrible. The spelling is an incomprehensible mess and I have no words. German on the other hand is actually pretty easy to spell as it is fairly consistent and logical. So in 9th grade, I made the switch to German and I’ve never looked back. Although, I am interested in learning French so long as I don’t ever have to spell anything in it.
It hasn’t always been fun. This isn’t an afternoon jaunt, this is a long slough of cognitive challenges and mind bending grammar, oblique turns of phrases and baffling cultural norms. People who gush about learning language as “fun” and “interesting” have obviously not had to spend hours trying to comprehend the ridiculousness of irregular verbs or trying to master der, die and das. A car could be der wagon or das auto, it’s a car, it should be the same gender but it’s not! There are legitimate historical reasons for this quirk, but I digress. Yet, it was always worth it to me.
Berlin Wall
Does it help me connect with others? I don’t know that it has. I haven’t found it necessary to know anything other than English, because it is one of the most common secondary languages. Some people will claim that learning a language, especially as a native English speaker when you don’t have to, makes you more interesting.
I have had mixed reviews from non-English speakers. I have been berated for not learning their language. Surprisingly enough, I was in Germany for my semester abroad and the Spaniard in the class was telling me that I insulted him by not choosing to learn Spanish and that it was clearly the superior language. I wanted to tell him that I should be commended for learning anything at all when the whole world is geared towards me not learning. I have also been told by Germans that I shouldn’t bother to learn German and my attempts to do so were offensive. Basically unless I was already fluent, I had no right to speak to them, which was baffling because how was I supposed to become fluent if I didn’t try speaking with native speakers? These were not the most encouraging interactions in my language learning process. I have had other very positive experiences from people when I’ve worked to learn their language, just don’t expect the process to always yield positive results.
However, it has been an incredibly rewarding journey to learn German and later on, Spanish. It did afford me a semester abroad which greatly expanded my horizons in the world. It has allowed me to make connections with people in my own travels that I would not otherwise be able to make. Twice, I have ended up befriending, even for an afternoon, small groups of German tourists who were delighted that I knew German. I have seen it build up connections between myself and my clients when I have spoken to them in Spanish and Haitian Creole. It hasn’t always been easy to master the languages. It has been confusing and frustrating especially when I know that I used to be able to communicate at a much higher level, but sadly time has eroded the skill.
Stefi, the adorable German woman I met while visiting Boston
I also developed a greater appreciation for those who are coming to America who don’t know the language, the challenges they face when trying to navigate our systems and the requirements on them to know how to communicate. I understand the history of Germany from their perspective and how that history unfolded. It’s given me a deeper understanding of our own history as told from an outside perspective. In the simplest terms, learning a language has expanded my horizons in ways I didn’t know it would do. Oftentimes we travel to immerse ourselves in a place, but without the language, we only dip our toe in the waters, when we learn a language we can immerse ourselves deeply without ever having to leave the couch. When we do finally arrive at a place, it’s almost like being at the house of an old friend. It’s familiar and it just “fits”. For me, staying in Germany for five months was very much like staying at a friend’s house that I’ve visited many times before. It wasn’t home, but it very much could be.
How can you learn a language?
Most of you aren’t going to be able to go to school and just join a class and college classes are extremely expensive and probably more time than you have. There are many books, computer programs and apps out there to use. I’ve used Duolingo myself and found it to be decent for reviewing my German, but not as good for learning my Spanish. The app designer himself said that he was more interested in “gamifying” language learning than being the most effective way to learn. His justification was that any learning is better than no learning and the best way to keep you learning was to focus on making it an addictive game you wanted to keep playing. There are lots of other apps available and don’t just pick the most popular because it might not be what you’re looking for. I haven’t really found other methods like books, flashcards or listening to be all that effective for me, but everyone is different, what works for me may be terrible for you. The great thing about today’s world is that it has never been easier to get access to information and tools for learning and most of it is fairly accessible. Rosetta Stone is famously good, but also famously expensive. Myself and my mom are both on the same family plan for duolingo at about $10 per month.
You would think that after making the case to not travel that I wouldn’t shortly have a post about traveling. After all, the whole point is living where you’re at, not waiting for the PTO and money but doing it right now! Before you pick up the pitchforks of hypocrisy, I never said that you shouldn’t travel at all. I said there is a case for traveling less and exploring places closer to home.
However, you will have already read that I have traveled. I have gone to Europe, the Caribbean and Central America. I have also traveled a bit around the United States, so I can’t say that I never travel. I am in the process of making travel plans again. Travel has its place. Don’t think it doesn’t!
There are many well meaning movements with catchy slogans that work well in a number of places but can’t be transferred to all places. Take the “No Mow May” which is a movement to try and get people to hold off on mowing their lawns until June in order to give pollinators a chance to emerge from their winter hibernation. The movement was started in the United Kingdom which is much smaller than the US, has a different ecosystem and weather. It’s a specific movement that works in the UK. Not mowing the lawn until June simply doesn’t work for places like Georgia. So my travel less may not work for everyone depending on where they are. People living near the coast with big cities, tend to have a lot more going on near them than people living in “fly over country” in the middle of America.
When traveling, make sure to pack the essentials!
And what do I mean by travel less? For some people traveling less may mean “no leaving the country”. The US is a BIG place. We have states bigger than some countries! Okay, maybe not leave your state then. But the states themselves can vary widely by size, Rhode Island is extremely tiny and Texas is HUGE. Is it the travel time from home? My daily commute is about 40 minutes, 20 of which is in the city I work in and it can largely depend on traffic. Perhaps the miles traveled? The carbon footprint of taking a long train ride is still smaller than a shorter car ride. The carbon footprint of travel? Maybe? But not everyone has access to public transit! It’s easy to get lost in the legalistic interpretation. The basic premise is that rather than traveling around the world for a specific experience, see if there isn’t an experience nearby; to look around you to see what people travel to your area for. It’s about reducing travel, not forgoing it altogether. However, there are just some experiences and places that cannot be replicated. There are some people who can’t be replicated. Which brings me to my case for travel.
I tend to travel for two reasons, the first is to see the people that I know and love. If I happen to be able to check off some bucket list items on my visit all the better. Experiences are meant to be shared and it’s much more fun to reminiscence with the person you were there with rather than tell your tale once to a few semi-interested people and never share again. No one ever asks me about my semester in Germany and if they do they get a general “it was an amazing experience”. I have yet to have someone respond to that with “no tell me all about it!” In fact, we were coached to give a two minute synopsis of our time there because people weren’t going to want to hear it. Visiting people and having them join you on your adventures is always fun. It’s a chance to form stronger bonds and to see people in a new light.
“Uncle” Jay and I at Hammon Castle
I had known my “Uncle” Jay for years, but spending a few days in his house near Boston showed me a side of him I hadn’t seen before. I got to see all the different pieces of art he had made over the years from baskets to glasswork. I learned he is a rather amazing cook. Plus, he knew exactly what to show me and where to go in the area because as a local, he is quite intimate with the area, something Trip Advisor just can’t replicate. I did get to check some things off my bucket list, but my best memories will be of him.
The other reason is to see those things that just cannot be replicated. I want to see a geyser and other geothermal activity. I was excited to find a geyser in my home state and started making plans to go see it. Unfortunately, it’s not a result of geothermal activity and more a man-made oops. Needless to say, I stopped making plans. If I just want to see some water squirt up from the ground I can go see a sprinkler at any of my neighbor’s gardens. My only choice is to travel some distance to see it, but I tried to see it locally first.
Now my travel bucket list is a carefully curated list of items that I will be trying to travel for. This isn’t a list of “oh that sounds cool” or a list of “I could go see that”, no these are things that I have dreamed of seeing for years, have watched documentaries on, read books about, looked at pictures, things I really want to see and there just isn’t an acceptable substitution. If this sounds like you, then by all means save up and go!
Travel is meant to allow you to see and experience things you don’t in your everyday life. To interact with people who think differently, speak differently, act differently and live differently. Travel can expand your horizons. As we all know social media lies and documentaries can edit things almost as much. Going to a place allows you to see it with your own eyes. There is also elements of smell, touch and taste that cannot be transferred through a photo or with words.
Travel gets you out of your element and forces you to take some risks. This can boost your self-confidence, help you learn new skills and stretch you. When I was studying in Germany, I took it upon myself to travel to the different nearby countries figuring (rightly) it would be many years if ever I would get to see Europe again. However, being a poor college student it meant that I didn’t have money for a travel agent or fancy hotels. It meant booking hostels online, navigating to the budget airline and sometimes going places where I didn’t even know the language like France and Italy. I’ve taken that experience with me ever since, often rolling up my sleeves and thinking “well if I can get lost in Paris and still find my way back without speaking French and before smartphones were even invented, how hard can this be with google at my fingertips?”
One of my favorite stories is accidently getting lost in the Red Light District of Paris – fun times!
When traveling with my mother, she went off on a small excursion without me and ended up having a lovely time with a local booth owner because of her Spanish skills. She took a risk and was rewarded with special memories, great prices on her souvenirs and even got to pet a sloth! After that experience, I noticed her confidence about moving in the world had increased. Sometimes getting out of our comfort zone can help us learn just how capable we really are.
If you must travel, do so carefully and thoughtfully. When I went to visit a family friend in Vermont, I timed it to coincide with the total solar eclipse. I also scheduled a few days to see other parts of New England and visit the aforementioned Uncle Jay. When I see my boyfriend who lives in Michigan, he often will take me to various places in his state.
Took advantage of a trip to see my boyfriend to visit Lake Superior together
Are you having to travel a long distance by car? Check your route for cool things! Several years ago my boyfriend went to school in Arizona, he planned extra time for a road trip so he could see the many national parks along the way including arches. He had to make the trip anyway, but by being mindful, he was able to see his own bucket list items. Though he wouldn’t call it a bucket list.
Remember, travel was never the enemy, only our limited perspective on it being necessary to live a full life. So go ahead pack your bags, order that plan ticket and be off!
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 