It finally happened, dear reader, I’ve ascended the social ladder or perhaps I was just finally given my due. After years of modest living and an enduring fondness for mud-splattered hiking boots, I am now… a Lady. Or at least, that’s what the certificate says.
This rather illustrious transformation occurred thanks to my brother, who, in an act of Christmas generosity (and perhaps a touch of mischief), purchased me an “Irish title.” Technically, I am now the Lady of Kerry, complete with a small plot of land, or as the fine print clarifies, a symbolic square foot that could just about accommodate a particularly skinny daisy. I can go visit it, but I can’t redecorate or reside there on a permanent basis.
A castle in Kerry, Ireland
Now, before you curtsey, a word of reality: companies like Established Titles offer honorary recognition rather than true nobility. My title doesn’t come with a castle, serfs, or even a teapot emblazoned with my crest. Although, now that I think of it, I could perhaps purchase one for my stove here at home. Historically, “Lord” and “Lady” were titles granted by monarchs or inherited through noble bloodlines, not acquired via online checkout. But honestly, who am I to let historical accuracy get in the way of a good story?
Besides, the funds go toward preserving the land and history of Ireland, a cause close to my heart. My mother’s family is Scots-Irish, and I’ve always felt a deep connection to that misty emerald isle. I fell in love with its spirit: the wild cliffs, the songs that seem to rise from the earth itself, and the way history hums beneath every stone wall and ruined abbey. I love reading its stories, exploring its history back into the very days of Newgrange over 7,000 years old.
When I was younger, I took up the Irish fiddle and have returned to the instrument of my youth. I dabbled in Irish step dance in college. More recently, I even tried my hand at learning the language through Duolingo — Dia dhuit, if you will. When I finally visited Ireland, it felt like walking into the pages of an old legend. The Book of Kells took my breath away, and the rolling green hills seemed to whisper secrets older than time. Part of me was quite tempted to simply disappear into the countryside and see if the fae truly existed.
A day in Dublin
So yes, while my noble title may be symbolic, the sentiment behind it is genuine. And as an avid fantasy reader, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t dreamed of being a Lady, though perhaps more the sword-wielding, dragon-slaying kind. If this little piece of parchment brings me one step closer to that dream, then I say it was money well spent.
Of course, being a lady hasn’t exactly transformed my daily routine. I still brew my own tea, scrub my own floors, and trip over my own dignity with regularity. No invitations to high society luncheons have arrived (yet), and my “estate” is still contained within a flowerpot on my porch. But perhaps the true nobility lies not in titles, but in finding humor, history, and heart in the small things.
So here I stand, Lady of Kerry, warrior of laundry day, slayer of dust bunnies, and humble admirer of the Irish hills. My crown may be metaphorical, but my affection for Ireland is entirely real.
My very own title!
So how might you become a “lord” or “lady”
Ever since the launch of Established Titles, there has been a plethora of copy-cat companies all offering the same thing, a little certificate saying you “own” a piece of land or castle in Ireland or elsewhere in the British Isles and therefore can now call yourself a “lady”. The money raised usually goes to the preservation of that land or castle, because it is expensive to maintain that history. Who knew that nobility was only a mouse click away?
Before I begin, I feel it is important to stress that choosing to be a pet parent should be a highly intentional decision taken with the understanding of the full responsibilities associated with the decision. This is a living, breathing creature with its own physical and emotional needs that as their owner, you have an obligation to meet. Are you in a position to meet their needs? When you adopt or purchase a pet, your home is their forever home, not you until you finish college home, get married home or have a child home. This is often a 15 to 20 year commitment. They may have unexpected medical bills or complications. They may require a special diet or food. They may break your favorite vase. They may ruin your carpet because of a urinary tract infection. Your clothes will constantly be covered in fur. At least one piece of furniture will be destroyed. There are many, many drawbacks to having a pet that should be considered before you get one.
Most bucket list items are fleeting, ephemeral experiences. That week in the mountains, that afternoon swimming with dolphins, those hours watching the northern lights are all there for such a short time before they are memories. They punctuate our lives as peaks among the hills and dales of life. Having a pet, however, is an ongoing joy. There’s nothing quite like developing a loving relationship with another creature across the species. The human-animal bond can be a deeply rewarding experience. Research suggests that the loss of a beloved pet is equal to the loss of a spouse, meaning that your relationship with your pet can be as meaningful as a relationship with your spouse.
I have always had pets. Growing up, we mostly had cats. Taking care of another creature’s needs helped me to have a sense of purpose. Cats taught me responsibility, compassion, empathy, selflessness and unconditional love. Some may be surprised by the last one given cat’s reputation as aloof, solitary creatures rather than the friendly and social animals I adore. However, I will assert that cats do express love, quite a lot of it actually.The problem that most people have with cats is that they expect them to act like dogs and to express their feelings in much the same manner. One must remember that a dog’s nervous system is almost identical to our own and that they have a specific region in their brains devoted to humans. A cat does not. A cat sees us as big clumsy cats who can’t hunt but know where the good snacks are anyways.
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Still a cat does have many ways of showing affection and love. They give slow blinks, sit near you, snuggle up next to you, bring you gifts, give little love nibbles, groom you, give head bumps and of course, rub against you purring. I could wax poetic about their little toe beans or button noses.They are often the first thing I see in the morning and my last thought at night when they hop up to join me. I know their personalities, what they like and dislike, their favorite toys, their preferred spots for napping, even what temperature they like the rooms to be. They seek me out for comfort and safety. They know my routines. They check on me when I’m sick or sad. They’ve protected me when they sense I’m threatened. I play with them and cuddle them. I’ve developed an understanding of their body language and the noises they make from demanding meows to curious trills. They are my wonderful companions.
I’ve developed a bond with them that transcends the two species which has been incredibly rewarding. Earning a cat’s trust is a precious thing. Many cats when frightened will seek out a hiding place like under the bed, mine seek me out. While many cats will show their bellies to those they trust, mine let me pet their bellies. They let me manipulate them in ways other cats won’t tolerate from most humans, all because they trust me. They know I love them and won’t harm them.
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Unlike many human relationships, the loyalty that I have given them is rewarded with reciprocal loyalty. A pet does not abandon you when life gets tough, often they sense you’re upset and seek you out to give comfort. They don’t ask what’s wrong; they don’t rush you through your emotions; they don’t judge you for what happened, they’re simply there giving what little they are able to help. Having a pet decreases stress, anxiety and depression. But it is a bit difficult to stay sad when a cat is rubbing its face against your cheek, purring just giving pure love and affection to you.
When I was 25, I heard the soft cry of a kitten hidden among the taller plants of my garden. A mother cat had been seen moving her kittens earlier in the day, but this one with his face crusted with mucus had been left behind. He was crying for help that was never going to come, at least not from his mother. Despite my best efforts, I was unable to get him and so I enlisted the assistance of my neighbor in getting him. I took him inside my room with every intention of taking him to the animal rescue the next day after all I still lived with my parents, and was told in no uncertain terms adopting a cat was out of the question. Still I insisted on having assistance to drive him down to be surrendered and hopefully be given some medical care. I lacked a cat carrier and was not going to drive down to the city with a stray kitten climbing all over my car and being a hazard. We made it not 3 minutes down the road before he stuck his little head out of the box with a pathetic little mew when I heard “turn the car around.” I called to make an appointment at the vet and three hundred dollars later (free kitten from the yard was not free) was nursing him back to health with zero promises from the vet that he would survive – spoiler alert, he’s now 12 years old!
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I still remember on the second or third morning that I had him, I woke up and he came trotting out from a hiding place, mewing, desperate to get up to me, he leapt to cling to the blanket, not able to quite get up to the bed. I plucked him up in one hand and brought him close to me telling him not to worry that I would be his mama. That was the moment I truly bonded with him as my baby kitten and I still adore him.
I could probably write for hours about how much I have enjoyed having cats. I could share endless stories of their playful antics and sweet moments of affection. I also love cultivating the relationship between them, especially my bonded pair, a set of adopted brothers. Not every moment has been amazing. Have I been scratched? Absolutely. Have they broken things? Of course. Would I trade them for anything? Absolutely not. They’re my boys.
I do not consider myself a pet owner. I consider myself their faithful guardian. They’re precious treasures under my protection. I feel daily gratitude for their companionship and love. As someone who desires to live life to the fullest right where she is, having this rich relationship with my pets helps make life worth living. Have I spent nearly $10,000 on Luke with his unexpected surgeries? Yes. Would I trade him for a trip to Bali? Nope. I would still bring that baby kitten that I found out in the yard inside the house. I would still nurse him back to health. His life is worth far more than any trip around the world. He has enriched my life more than any trip or short term experience.
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How can you get a cat (or other pet)?
As stated at the start, please consider carefully and fully whether you can meet the emotional and physical needs of a pet before bringing one home. Consider carefully whether the pet you are considering fits your lifestyle needs, not all pets are created equal, especially dog breeds. If you get a border collie, you will probably need to spend much of your evening playing and training with your dog as they require a lot of physical and mental training to be happy. Do careful research about what a given animal requires before jumping into pet ownership.
Once you’ve done your research, considered your ability to meet the needs of your chosen pet, I strongly encourage you to go to an animal shelter and adopt. Be willing to have hard conversations with the shelter staff if you’re unsure about a given mix or breed presented. Talk with them about the temperament of the specific one you’re looking to adopt. This is an important decision, after all you may be with this animal for the next 10 to 20 years depending on the age at time of adoption, breed and health. The staff will probably appreciate that you’re taking this decision with the seriousness that it truly requires. Once you make your decision, fill out the paperwork, pay the adoption fee and take your new companion home. It may take a few days to really bond with them or perhaps, you fall in love before you have even signed the paperwork.
Again, pets are not for everyone, but they are for me. They are so important to me, that they top my list of bucket list experiences to have.
Completed: Childhood, 2012 as an adult
Miles from home: 0
Cost: Free? (found an abandoned kitten in my yard)
Full disclosure, my “free” kitten from the yard has been a rather expensive cat. In addition to his initial $300 vet bill, Luke has had to have multiple surgeries in his life totaling close to $10,000 in addition to regular check-ups and vaccinations. An adoption from a local shelter would have $60 and all his vet care such as the antibiotics, vaccinations and neutering would have already been covered. I wouldn’t trade him for anything and would still choose to save him even knowing the amount of money I would need to spend on him over the course of his lifetime. My other cats have not been nearly as expensive, but this is something you should prepare for if you’re going to adopt a pet.
The title of this post comes from one of my favorite Bible verses and is in part the inspiration for this blog. This blog is intended to encourage you to live to invest in your mental health, stop chasing the false narratives of consumerism, over consumption and influencers and to live your best life. So what is a more appropriate Bucket List item than to encourage others? After all, when we build others up, we also build ourselves.
There’s an interesting story about a farmer who won the farm show every year for his amazing crops. What puzzled people was that he would take the seeds from his award winning produce and share them with his neighbors. When asked why, he said that by having superior crops nearby it helped enhance his own with cross pollination. In other words, helping others, helped him. Which is something that really resonates with me. As someone in the social services field, I want to help create a better world not only for the people I am helping but also because it will help create a better world for me.
In early 2021, with the ongoing pandemic, I watched mental health illness and a general sense of hopelessness grow in my community. It was as if in the midst of all the lockdowns, anxiety, stress a darkness was descending everywhere. Social media, which was already not the greatest place to spend your time, had become a toxic cesspool of hatred and vitriol as everyone struggled to cope. I don’t know all my neighbors, their struggles or what is going on in their lives, but I knew that at least some of them probably needed a pick me up. I knew I certainly could have benefited from it. So, I rolled up my proverbial sleeves and made a plan to bring some light in the middle of all these shadows.
I counted up the houses in my neighborhood and procured a small gift for each of them. In this case, it was a small make-up kit which I found at a greatly reduced price from Nordstrom. As my neighborhood is only about 10 or so houses, it was relatively inexpensive to include a small token along with the note. I then wrote a note to each of them offering encouragement and hope. Mostly something along the lines that we’re all going through a rough time and that I hope this small gift would bring them some joy.
I waited until the middle of the week when I knew most would be away as evidenced by the lack of cars in driveways and then launched my plan. Which really consistent of walking around for maybe 5 minutes leaving the gift at each doorstep. It was hardly mission impossible. There was nothing connecting it back to me, no name or indication as to whom it came from, that was never the point. The point was of course to be anonymous to simply offer a point of light in the darkness.
I do not know if anyone ever connected it back to me, no one has ever acknowledged the gesture, but what I do know is that it seemed to strengthen the ties in the neighborhood. I had noticed over the course of the pandemic that people had withdrawn back into their houses. They stopped chatting and waving. They didn’t go out of their way to be helpful to one another as we once did. For a year, we’d all be holding one another at arm’s length and it seemed difficult to breakdown the barrier. After that simple gift, I noticed they started reaching out to one another more and to strengthen the ties of the small community.
When we are kind to others, it spread kindness. However, often when we are kind it begins a reciprocal relationship that does not necessarily spread outward from the dyad. When we are kind to strangers or anonymously, that kindness is amplified to beyond ourselves. I loved seeing how the one small act prompted other small acts even if it just helped change the vibe of the neighborhood to a place where we do reach out rather than withdraw.
I’ve written in another post about community resilience like when the water main broke in my town and shut down main street or when a hurricane caused the annual art show to be canceled. A few people stood up and said, we will make a difference, we will encourage one another. Then the community rallied behind it. I’ve driven past signs on people’s mailboxes that say “You are awesome” and it brought a smile to my face. I’ve walked into the bathroom to see written on the mirror “You are loved” and my day brightened.
We never know what doing something for a stranger may do for them. However, there are many stories about how something as small as a smile can stop a suicide or help someone make a decision to turn their life around. Perhaps, all I did was make people smile, perhaps it saved a life. The point is to be the light that we wish to see in the world and the best thing about the activity was that it took almost no time at all. Kindness often does not. What it takes is noticing a potential need and responding to it, letting someone know that they are seen and that they matter. You don’t need to necessarily get it perfect. After all, my neighbors may not have needed the make-up the point was to let them know that someone cares about them.
Not every item on a BucketList is about enriching your own life. Afterall, here at Budget Bliss Bucket List, we want to pursue a life well lived and that means enriching other people’s lives as well. We become the best versions of ourselves when we practice generosity and gratitude. Chasing an influencer life for likes and attention, doesn’t leave us with meaning. Going on a vacation is fun, pampering yourself at the spa is important for self-care, but we miss something important when we don’t forget to give back.
I shall have to write a post about one’s wellness wheel, but the idea is that we have to make sure that we’re living a life in balance, filling each part of our wheel to be in balance. When one part of our wheel is “flat” the wheel doesn’t turn and we usually feel like we’re off, possibly stressed or even burned out. Making sure to take time to include items like this helps keep our wheel turning smoothly.
It’s easy! Count up your neighbor’s houses and write notes of encouragement. Then when the timing is right, drop them off. The alternative is to leave them around your community for strangers to find. You can even sneak around at night with chalk and write notes on the sidewalk for people to see. It takes almost no time at all and no money. Which is why this is a perfect budget friendly item to include on your list.
Completed: 2021
Cost: $10 per household but it can be practically free
Much of what is on a bucket list may be considered a bit hedonistic. That is a criticism that some people have against them. To some people, it is a list of “empty pleasures”. Life should be spent bettering the world not chasing short term experiences you just check off a list. There may be some truth to those criticisms, but then again is it much worse than spending my days watching Netflix, scrolling through social media and spending all my money on amazon? The point of the list, for me at least, is to cultivate a sense of adventure, to explore the world, to experience life and learn about myself. It was about getting out of my house, away from the screens and living, to stop dreaming and start doing. It can in some ways be a form of self-expression. As someone whose daily profession is leaving the world a better place, having a bucket list is a form of self care.
However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have goals that are altruistic in nature or have reflected on past actions on my reverse bucket list that fall under the category of “leaving the world a better place”. I’ve had experiences of volunteering and sacrificing part of myself for the benefit of others that have left a positive impact on me. It is part of my own self-expression and I feel it is important to include those experiences as part of a rich life.
One of those altruistic goals was to give blood. As it turns out, I have a O+ blood type which, while it is one of the most common blood types, it is also a good donor blood type. Blood types come in A, B, AB, O and positive or negative so you can have AB+ or B- or in my case O+. The letters A and B indicate common antigens and O indicates the absence of either A or B, positive and negative indicate the presence of a common antigen or the absence of it. If you have the antigens you can receive blood without the antigen but if you don’t have the antigen you can’t receive blood that has it. Therefore, I can receive both O+ and O- but not any A, B or AB blood.
It is hard to describe the importance of blood donations. I am a daughter of two nurses, so I grew up knowing how important blood is for modern medicine. Blood allows doctors to perform miracles, to complete life saving surgeries that would normally kill a patient because of the blood loss, to treat cancer, to stop someone from dying from traumatic injury and treat chronic illnesses. A pint of blood can mean the difference between life and death and it is important to have an ongoing fresh supply.
So when my school held a blood drive in my senior year, I naturally signed up to participate. It was important to me to give back and as it turns out my family’s blood lacks other antigens than the positive. We also have “sticky” blood which makes it great for trauma victims since it helps with clotting. Even though I didn’t enjoy needles, I knew that I was making a difference when I laid down on the chair and presented my arm. It was such a small act of inconvenience for me, missing some class, a brief time of discomfort, but the impact of this life saving gift was more than worth it to me. Why wouldn’t I give up a few hours of my life to save someone else’s?
Being a positive influence in the world doesn’t always need big gestures or major political movements, sometimes something little can have a large impact. Full disclosure, I did faint when I gave blood for the first time. About 4% of people faint. It isn’t an indication of any sort of medical distress but rather a vagal nerve response. Unfortunately, I have had other medical issues over the years causing frequent issues of low iron levels which make it difficult to give blood. I hope to be able to give blood now that the underlying issue causing the frequent bouts of anemia has been addressed.
How can you donate blood?
Only about 3% of people ever donate blood and the demand for blood never ceases. It is a vital resource that cannot be replicated through other means. As they say “when you give, other’s live”. I highly encourage you, dear reader, to consider giving blood. If you cannot give blood, then consider how else you might positively impact the world.
Luckily, giving blood is fairly easy. Just call up your local branch of the American Red Cross to find out when and where they’re having their next blood drive.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 