Category: Principles of Budget Bucket List

Seeking Inspiration Without Living Someone Else’s Life

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I have said before not to put down things on your list because it “ought” to be there if it does not speak to you. If you hate running, don’t put down run a marathon. If you aren’t into spending a lot of time in the great outdoors, maybe leave off spending a week in a tent. If sports aren’t for you skip Fenway Park. However, that does not mean you cannot still find inspiration in those goals. 

Why does running a marathon grace so many people’s lists? What does running a marathon represent? What cultural values might we find in this goal? To many people it represents peak fitness. After all, the first man to ever run a marathon allegedly died delivering a message of an invasion, so running a marathon and not dying is an indication of fitness. Which makes the modern marathon a weird flex on a poor dead man – I digress. It also represents perseverance, discipline and overcoming obstacles.

Would developing other health goals fulfill those same things? Perhaps being able to bench press your own body weight or even do ten full pull ups. Those could be just as impressive feats of physical prowess, require just as much discipline and are for many people significant obstacles to overcome. I hate running, but I enjoy weight lifting. Having strength goals to meet and overcome are my own version of a marathon and being strong rather than fast is more important to me. I’m not living someone else’s life training to run a marathon when what I want to do is be strong enough to wield a war hammer. Both reflect the values of fitness, perseverance, discipline and overcoming obstacles. One might be a more popular version of it and imho an inferior one, but this is neither the time nor place to debate the merits of running vs. weight lifting.

Being able to smash things with a hammer is my kind of fitness goal!

Being healthy is a goal that everyone has. After all, being healthy feels good. So I absolutely encourage you to adopt fitness goals that resonate with you as a person and are reasonably obtainable. What is a measure of health for one person isn’t the same for another given their own limitations and inclinations. Someone with long term chronic health conditions may find that just getting out of bed and being able to walk a few steps is equal to a marathon. They may spend hours in physical therapy trying to get their body to do tasks many of us never think about. And there are many different kinds of body types that are better or worse at certain tasks. A cursory examination of the various sports in the Olympics will showcase various body types, levels of muscularity and abilities, all are in peak physical condition for the task they are trying to perform. The sprinters look very different than the long distance runners. So ask yourself what are the tasks you want your body to perform and then train for those tasks. 

Health of course is not the only thing that graces a bucket list. What are other typical bucket list items? Usually there is some sort of travel like tropical islands, seeing certain things like the pyramids, experiences like sky diving, perhaps life milestones like graduations, obtaining certain degrees, owning your own business. Just as we can easily dismiss those items as “not my thing so not for me” we can easily miss what they represent. Consider owning your own business. You don’t have the capital to do so and even if you did, you know you’re not the sort of person who would enjoy doing so, but what it may represent is having a certain level of freedom within the realm of finances. Having both enough money and freedom to do what you want with it are worthy things to strive to. How you get there may look very different for different people. Perhaps, you want to expand your horizons intellectually and so you add read a certain number of books. However, reading 100 classic books would make your eyes bleed, whereas reading the top rated fantasy novels breeds excitement. Funnily, enough you’ll find that there are books that grace both lists such as Dracula and Frankenstein. 

Once we start considering the actual goal behind the thing, it is much easier to get creative with how we want to approach our own list without getting caught up in the pressure of doing things that don’t resonate with us as individual people. Revisiting common items or even uncommon items, reflecting on what they represent and asking ourselves if those ideals resonate with us can lead us to some surprising experiences or looking at things in a different lens. Take for example, one person’s “walking across a suspension bridge” which at first I thought rather odd. However, for that person (and I’m just guessing) is she may have had some sort of fear about it. So getting across it was conquering a fear. So what was I afraid or anxious about? Well for a long time, spiders and other bugs. Public speaking caused massive panic attacks. So being able to deal with spiders and other bugs without freaking out and being able to give speeches on behalf of my job, are quite the accomplishments and deserving of gracing my list. If you’re someone who doesn’t have either of those fears, then perhaps leave them off.

What are things that you value? What are your areas of interest or expertise? Perhaps there are premier events in your areas of interest. Are you a nerd like me? Is comic-con on your list? Maybe you’re a civil war reenactor, then attending the reenactment camp of a famous battle like Gettysburg should be on your list! It isn’t so much about the thing itself but what is behind the thing. Once you do that it is easy to take inspiration from the things you have no interest in doing to expand your own list to include the things you do. It also has the added benefit of taking some of the pressure off to do certain things that grace most people’s list because you’re able to still fulfill the values of what those represent so long as those values are things that you actually want to fulfill (another post on that later).

Mindful Planning and Managing Expectations

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How many times have we spent weeks building in anticipation of an event, imagining it so vividly we could almost think ourselves already there only to have the reality fall far short of the expectation upon the moment of arrival? I am convinced that’s why the holiday season is so stressful and the epicenter of many an emotional breakdown. The “magic” of the season and the pressure for it to live up to that impossible ideal is enough to lead anyone down the dark path of overindulgence to cope. 

The same disappointment in the reality of an event has happened to many a bucket list seeker. In another post, I discuss the dangers of over-tourism and the case for staying home. One of my main points in that post was that over-tourism prevents us from being able to fully experience our desired activity as we confront crowds and limited time to see or do the activity we set out to enjoy. Which is why there have been many times when I have found I enjoyed the activities closer to home than the ones farther afield. This is where the practice of being mindful and honest with ourselves comes into play. 

We should understand what we’re really desiring to gain out of a given activity prior to doing it and manage our expectations. It also allows us to zero in on the thing that is important to us. If going to a lantern festival and seeing the lanterns rise to the sky is the entire reason for going, then ensure that you have positioned yourself in a spot to watch the lanterns rise. Perhaps be willing to forgo releasing a lantern of your own. You won’t want to ruin the experience by standing in line waiting endlessly to release your lantern and miss the wonder of the moment of them all rising or be willing to be among the last participants to release it as you spend your time waiting simply watching rather than standing in line. This means you will no doubt be caught in the traffic afterwards, stressed as you try to navigate your way through throngs of people back to your car and spend a good bit of time winding your way slowly back to the main road. There are prices to be paid for the things we wish to do in addition to mere money spent. 

Lantern Fest – watching them rise

My sister and I much more enjoy the experience of watching the lanterns rise than releasing them and would rather drive out to a spot nearby to watch them all rise and float to the sky away from the crowd than attend such an event. Not that we did not enjoy the act of releasing them, only that it was more fun to watch which means when we are considering attending various events we may choose to simply be spectators rather than participants. This is often a much cheaper and less time constrained option which suits the budget part of this bucket list quite well! 

Understanding the constraints on a given activity is helpful in planning for it so that it can be fun rather than stressful and something to be remembered fondly rather than a moment ruined. Understanding what you really want out of something can help you manage those constraints and focus on protecting what you want to protect. Going kayaking on the Susquehanna River is a bucket list item for me in order to see the petroglyphs that are on a small rocky island in the middle of the river. Kayaking is also something that I want to do, but my focus is the petroglyphs. Any other activity that I may engage in around a small trip to the Harrisburg area is secondary to the petroglyphs. If the day comes and I’ve made plans to eat at a restaurant prior to the kayaking and traffic impedes my ability to get there in time, well then I shall simply go to a grocery store and grab something to go instead of going to the restaurant. Yes, my experience would be much improved by enjoying a delightful meal prior to going, but the trip wasn’t about the meal, it was about the petroglyphs. This may seem like something obvious but you would be surprised how easy it is to get caught up in things that don’t matter. 

It is also important to be mindful during the experience itself. The first step of course is to put the damn phone down and actually engage with the thing you are trying to engage with. I love photography as much as the next person, perhaps more so since I was motivated enough to take a photography course in college. However, if you spent your entire time lining up shots and taking pictures your only memories will be of holding your phone and taking pictures. The magic of the moment is robbed. Sure you have some snazzy things to put on your social media but as I have noted before the dopamine rush from those likes are fleeting and only cheapen the whole experience. Remember this isn’t about checking off boxes on a to do list, this is about living joyfully in the moment! 

Ice Skating at my local mall

I have very few pictures of ice skating with my sister for the first time. I have maybe five, but those are enough to help trigger the many memories I stored up that day. I remember the slow learning of how to move on the ice, clinging to the side for dear life, my stomach in knots every time I slipped and then the thrill of finally letting go of the sides and skating on my own, the triumph of the moment. I remember how it was a very small crowd of people on the ice that morning being the end of the season and how all of us didn’t know how to skate; how we cheered each other on even though we were perfect strangers, how we celebrated each other’s victories and how proud we all were of one another. If we had all been worried about our social media pages, we wouldn’t have made that real human connection. By building some walls around the activity with regards to the barriers that come between you and actually enjoying what you’re doing. 

It is equally important to make sure things are clearly communicated among those who are going with you. If say you are making a day trip to D.C. and for you the priority is seeing the copy of the Magna Carta under dom of congress and your friend’s priority is seeing the neanderthal skeleton by all means don’t waste most of your day flitting about the National Air and Space Museum. It is important for both of you to clearly communicate your priorities and goals so that there are no hard feelings. If things like weather or traffic or national emergencies prevent you from doing all of your plans, you both know which things to cut out. The same can be said of any time constraints. It is not enough to say “would you like to go to this general area and here all the things we can do” and agree to the itinerary, as it is likely to need to be adjusted or changed. It also prevents those awkward moments where the party must split in order for both people or persons to get what they want. 

Enjoying the capital region

If you agree ahead of time (and with the power of cellphones to easily stay in touch) that should time prevent you from sticking together you are agreed to split. However, that is also the time for a person to object and say “it is actually quite important to me that you experience this with me so that we can have a shared experience to reflect on later”. Time spent together is after all a love language for many people. Be mindful not to judge the other person for their strong desire or what is truly important to them. 

Again, reflecting ahead of time and communication is key. It’s all about having clear boundaries and realistic expectations. You may find that these ideas are so effective with your bucket list, you start applying them to the holiday season as well and discover the magic is still there!

Being a Tourist in Your Own Backyard

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It may seem at first a bit strange to consider being a tourist in your own town. It is, after all statistically speaking, boring as most of those reading are not luckily enough to live in those more exciting areas and I am certain that even the epicenters of culture become mundane and dull. The denizens of Paris are most likely quite sick to death of the art in the Louvre, the towering cathedrals and intimate cafes. Perhaps, they dream of the snow capped Rockies and Yellowstone National Park or perhaps, tropical beaches of the caribbean. It is after all human nature to long for the very things we don’t have and abjure the things we do.   

Tourist Center of Lititz, PA

You might wonder what you could possibly do that you have not already done or seen what you have not already seen. I am here to encourage you to look again and to pay attention. As I have mentioned in another post, I had the privilege of seeing several bucket list items: a Russian Ballet, King Tut and the treasures of the Tsars. Those things were only made possible because I or someone I knew was paying attention to what was going on in the local area. This means you must first become aware of the museums and theaters in your area and check their websites regularly for visiting exhibitions and shows. 

Luckily, we live in the age of the internet and knowledge is but a few searches and clicks away. I like to start out by looking at my area’s tourism page and their events calendar. I have been surprised by what actually is around my area that I had no idea existed like the “catacombs” of the local brewery with their ghost hunting or the annual hot air balloon festival. I looked at the website “Only In Your State” and discovered all sorts of interesting places only a few hours away like dog sledding in the winter or lavender fields in the spring. It looks like I don’t need to travel to Alaska or France after all! There’s even indoor sky-diving just 45 minutes from me! I also semi-religiously check Facebook events calendar which is how I discovered that 3 hours away there is a winery where I could stomp grapes, cancel my flight to Italy! Facebook was also how I found out about the pop-up Ice Skating Ring at my local mall. Other touristy sites might be good to check out like Trip Advisor, although I find it’s not as good for finding things I don’t already know about. AtlasObscura is another site similar to Only in Your State that has led me to some interesting ideas. 

A display of Greek artifacts in Reading, PA

The main thing is not to rest on your laurels as it were but be on the lookout for different experiences. Eventually, you will learn what hidden gems your area is hiding. Take the unassuming Reading Museum in Reading, PA. You would never guess that such a small city would be home to a truly remarkable museum. It hosts an Egyptian mummy, a full knight’s armor, items from the Greek and Roman empires and its visiting exhibitions are usually quite good as well. My favorite thus far was Da Vinci’s inventions, where innovative individuals utilized his sketches and ideas to bring his many inventions to life. So often we see his art and hear of his inventions, but this exhibit focused on the more practical and scientific Da Vinci. Less than an hour away from me is a forge where you can make your own throwing ax and they have targets available to test them out afterwards. Hershey has a falconer where you can spend an afternoon learning about the sport of falconry and interacting with a bird yourself. I have attended a Gallery Opening. I have enjoyed a full moon with wolves and so many more things nearby. None of these things I would have found scrolling through some travel influencer’s instagram and all of them were far closer to home than I might have possibly imagined when I first started out.  

I do recognize that I am lucky to live so close to many cities and hubs of activities, Pennsylvania is after all the keystone state for a reason. Washington D.C., Philadelphia, and New York are all within quite reasonable driving distance from me and can be easily connected to via the train which runs from a city not 20 minutes away from my home. It was nothing to do a day trip down to the Cherry Blossom festival in D.C. back in college to see the showcase of Japanese culture or a trip to see a Broadway show in New York in high school. However, I am confident that there are things in your area which are worthy of your time to go discover. After all, despite being rather in the middle of nowhere Boulder, Colorado turned out to be a bit of a tea mecca when I visited, being home to both Celestial Teas and an authentic Russian Tea House! It also plays host to the National Center for Atmospheric Research and a cat cafe. Tea, science and cats, what more could you ask for?! 

Russian Tea House

Some of you may need to go further afield for some of those experiences which may have you scratching your head thinking this advice is contradictory to this blog. It is not intended to be a contradiction, more a recognition that not everyone has the same opportunities and access to extraordinary things near them. Most of the population of the United States is concentrated on the coasts and so there is a high likelihood that you dear reader, live near many hubs of culture. However, some really are living in places where the nearest neighbor is a 30 min drive past miles of cornfields. No amount of internet searches and creative thinking is going to offer them the same opportunities as those of us living on the coasts. This is not to be defeatist for those people who through no fault of their own are forced to go further afield than some of us.

The spirit of this blog is that we can find extraordinary things in our own regular vicinity to live a full life right where we are (generally). Some of us may need to draw wider borders than others of us and that is fine. I don’t often do day trips to New York or D.C. maybe once every five or so years as I have plenty to enjoy nearby. For me to make frequent trips to those places would not be in the spirit of what I am trying to achieve because I can usually find things closer to home. Others may be forced to do more frequent day trips just to see anything at all. Let us not be legalistic but rather embrace the spirit of this blog where we recognize that we can find joy where we are rather than needing to rush off to the far flung corners of the world.

Remembering Your Dreams

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Many of the items that grace my bucket list are items taken from my childhood rather than anyone’s list. Children typically dream without limitation. Their passions are boundless and unrestrained by the current reality. A child does not worry about the logistics of how they might be a doctor, astronaut, president and mad scientist all at the same time, only that they are concerned with helping others in a leadership role while exploring the bounds of the known world and those sorts of jobs are just the ticket to fulfill those desires. A child believes that they really can see the world, traverse the mountains, take up sword-fighting, rescue damsels, play the guitar and speak several languages. Then life happens and we forget what we really wanted to do and why. We ignore the things that make our hearts soar and fall into the square hole of society having chipped away our rounded parts. What are things that I never got to do as a child due to constraints of time, money or other resources? What are things I wanted to try but never had the opportunity? Where did I dream of going most? 

It was not the sandy beaches of the Caribbean that called to me, it was stormy moors, windswept fjords and the dance of lights in the sky that I dreamed about. I was fascinated by the geothermal activity of Iceland and the still, fae-haunted forests of the British Isles. I wanted to see castles in the forests of Bavaria. I wanted to take up the art of fencing and learn to speak German. Both of those activities I did during my semester abroad, and one activity I keep up with using an app on my phone. 

Closer to home, I have tried glassblowing, forging my own weapon, falconry and Irish step dancing, all things I really wanted to do as a child. I also wanted to tame a unicorn and take up dragon riding, but sadly the world seems to be a bit short on both unicorns and dragons these days – an argument for conservation if I ever heard of one! 

College: Acclamation Dance Irish Step Dancing

Part of our bucket list is to joyfully express our authentic selves and what better way of knowing our authentic selves then remembering the person we were before all the nonsense of “mature adult” life got in the way? Who were we before our heads were filled with perfectly sensible grown-up advice of what we ought to focus on? What did we want to do before we were told that our arts weren’t things that would keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies or that the only things worth doing were things we were really talented at instead of things we simply enjoyed? What were we good at before it became ruined by the pressure and expectation of having it be more than something to enjoy? What did we dream of before we learned that there were never dragons to ride and worse never unicorns to tame! We so often forget ourselves in the busyness of the day to day and even in the roles we take up in the lives of others. We look in the mirror and cannot even recognize ourselves much less know what we want.

Have you made a life that isn’t your own? What would you do different to make it your own? Now before we do anything drastic – I am certainly not advocating that you divorce your husband and leave your children to go find yourself, only that you work to remember who you actually are before you lost yourself and then focus on living out that best life. In fact, there is almost quite certainly no need to burn your current life down to start building the one you desire. I never really liked the movies where the protagonist essentially blows up her entire life and has to go on a world tour in order to find happiness. I rather see a story of a woman realizing that her happiness can be the life she has with just a few adjustments of action and perspective.

Singing my heart out with my co-worker Kayla for points during trivia night

If you are someone who loved cooking, but nothing you made was ever good enough for your overly critical mother then by all means reclaim it and cook! If you yearned to sing but everyone made fun of you because you couldn’t carry a tune, take some singing lessons and then slay at karaoke night! If you wanted to spend your time painting but your parents made you take extra math courses because artists starve and accountants make money, by all means paint! You will find conquering those mountains far more rewarding and fun than going out and hiking a mountain trail when your inner child never spent a day thinking of the forest. Trust me, the best moments of my bucket list are the ones that my former child-self would squeal with delight if she only knew that yes, one day she will do those things. I will never play a concert to a full audience with my violin, but that doesn’t matter, it was never about becoming a concert violinist, it was about playing the instrument itself. My dream was to learn to play and enjoy playing. What were your dreams? Remember your and let them become reality!

Don’t Live Some Else’s Life

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It is quite tempting to go to other people’s bucket lists and put down whatever they have put down. Many are things that just seem like they ought to go on a bucket list, throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game or summiting a mountain. We put them down on the list because those seem like things we “ought” to do. However, that is not the essence of this sort of bucket list! Know thyself is our rallying cry! 

The entire point is for us to live our lives to the fullest right where we are and that does not mean living someone else’s life. I would never put down throwing a pitch out at a baseball game or going to the Super Bowl. I don’t like sports. I don’t like watching them or playing them so why on earth would I include something like that on my list? I know this may seem rather strange as with the reverse bucket list, I encouraged people to put down items they may not even seemingly care about. However, that was about cultivating a spirit of gratitude for what you have already gotten and a spirit of childlike adventure as you go about living out your day to day life. It was not for us to become anything other than we are. I mean I might want to summit a mountain at some point, I do like hiking but I don’t LOVE hiking, so maybe a small one as like a physical challenge, but I’m not climbing to the peak of Mount Everest. It’s cold and way too much snow.

Lantern Festival, it was windy!

We don’t want our energy to get focused on following the dreams of other people and losing our own sense of self in the societal expectations of the things we ought to pursue. If you find yourself engaging in activities for the likes, comments and accolades of others then chances are that “bucket” list item should have never been there in the first place because it didn’t come from your own real desire. Not only are we giving into pressures to spend our precious time and energy doing something that we don’t actually want to do, we cheapen any joy we may get out of doing it by not living in the moment. Doing something outside your norm should be about self discovery and exploration not about your social media and certainly not about meeting other people’s expectations!

It’s not that something that you wouldn’t necessarily do should never be on your list, but the reason for it being on your list should resonate with you. My sister often is my go to person for my adventures and there have been times when she has suggested an adventure or experience that wouldn’t be on my radar like woodworking. It’s not an activity that has ever “spoken” to me, but I am willing to give it a shot and see, to learn something new. It’s still within the realm of something I’d enjoy doing. I have enjoyed many different sorts of crafts, so why not that one? That is the self-discovery part, trying new things and learning about myself. I am certain that when I do embark on it, if I approach it mindfully, I shall enjoy it immensely, learn something new and develop a greater appreciation for the craft. 

As I said earlier, I wouldn’t put on my list throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game on my list, but let’s say I had a dear friend who offered this experience as well as a chance to meet the players and other things around the baseball game. I might very well take them up on this offer if I were exploring other aspects around baseball. Something that greatly interests me is anthropology. I could very well go to such a cultural event if for no other reason than to fully immerse myself in it from a more intellectual and cerebral perspective. I may be intrigued by the traditions and rituals surrounding the event. Suddenly the act of throwing out the first pitch as participation in these becomes something much more exciting and intriguing for me. I may develop a greater appreciation for my friend’s passion, understanding his connection to the tribe of his team and the significance it plays in his life. It becomes more about gaining a new perspective on someone I care deeply for and allowing myself to see their passion through their eyes rather than my own. I have found that almost any topic intrigues me when a passionate expert shares it with me, so while I won’t add it to my list it’s not something I would necessary turn down flat if offered depending on who was asking.

Sometimes you just gotta be a little silly!

It is about being intentional not only in the things we decide to do but also in the act itself. When we’re doing something for outside acceptance it will be spent getting just the right pictures and thinking about what it will look like on social media rather than truly being present. This goes for things that we want to do as well but even more so with things that do not resonate with who we are. Sharing things on social media is all well and good to have those we care about share in our joy. However, it goes beyond simply sharing a joyful moment or capturing a memory then you’re probably sucking the soul right out of the experience. It is about cultivating real, authentic experiences which enrich our lives, not chasing the image of what someone else thinks our lives should look like. This goes for any goal or life milestone. Our lives are far too short to be caught up in the oughts or shoulds of expectations, especially when we have so many oughts and shoulds that are required for minimal comforts like getting a job and paying our electric bill. When you are looking back at your life do you want to live in regret having chased down other people’s approval and status or do you want to look back with joyful gratitude for a life well lived? 

Combating Over-tourism: Stay Home

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There is a growing problem in the world that has exploded post pandemic: overtourism. It was a problem prior to the pandemic, but it has increased exponentially after several years of people being cooped up and prevented from traveling with little signs of stopping. This has resulted in iconic places being overrun by tourists turning once beloved authentic experiences into Disney World attractions with about as much spirit and an equal amount of crowds. 

How can one even enjoy these places with the crowds and the jostling for position? How can you say that you were actually in a place if all you did was stand in line, snap a picture of yourself there and move on to the next “iconic” spot in the area? At least at Disney World the line culminates in a 60 second ride rather than a 10 second picture, as you will feel equally soulless afterward. To be fair, the enjoyment you will get from that experience will most likely be from the many likes and shares that you get; an equally fleeting reward as a ride but less honest, at least the ride isn’t pretending to be something it isn’t. 

The crowd at the fountain was shockingly huge even late at night. As you can see, there was no way to get a shot without people in the background.

The local population suffers for our own over indulgence. Short term rentals push residents out of their homes and local food markets cater to tourists looking for a grab and go snack rather than produce for a home cooked meal. Local festivals, once a point of pride for residents, become activities they no longer recognize nor enjoy as their voices and concerns are drowned out by the ring of outside cash. 

Worse, in participating in this overtourism, you are contributing to the ruination of the very thing you espouse desiring to preserve. We travel for the cultural experience to interact with people and places that are different from us to enrich our lives and to support the existence of that precious human expression in an increasingly homogeneous, industrialized and globalized world. It would be better to watch a documentary and never step foot in Venice than to contribute to its ever increasing decline. Given the declining likelihood of encountering locals its not like you’ll be missing out on interacting directly with the local populace. 

By staying closer to home, I am ensuring that I am not contributing to the problem of over-tourism elsewhere. It also means that I can enjoy similar bucket list experiences, but with less crowds. I do live in a tourist area and we are seeing an increase of tourism and in some cases, over-tourism. Luckily, most of the tourists are focused on Amish and farm experiences, leaving the things I want to do alone. Sometimes going to a specific place that is known for a certain thing is the worst thing you can do for your bucket list experience because of over-tourism. You will be dealing with crowds and shortened snippets of the very thing you came to do. 

When I was in the Cayman Islands we went to the turtle center where we had the opportunity to wade with the turtles after the tour and before being set free to explore the center on our own. Because it was a tour group of about forty people we were only given a few minutes to wade with the turtles and interact with them. This resulted in people trying to frantically take pictures in the short time they were given and of course the shots were full of people. It meant we weren’t actually focused on the activity that we were there to do, interact with and enjoy the turtles. I went back to the wading pools about 40 minutes later in between tour groups when there was almost no one present. I was able to get into a pool with the turtles by myself, my sister snapped a few pictures of me in the pool while I was able to completely focus on the turtles. I barely remember the first time I went in because the clock was ticking and there were too many people jostling and getting in the way. Yes, we all got a turn and it was in the interest of allowing everyone the opportunity to enjoy these beautiful creatures. However, it wasn’t the experience I dreamed about having when I first booked my tour. It was only when I was able to get away from the crowd and be mindful about what I was doing that I was able to have the moment I wanted.

Once the crowd cleared, I was able to spend an intimate moment with the turtles

I also tell people to skip the Mona Lisa, as it is so small, protected behind thick glass in a dimly lit area, surrounded by a throng of people all vying for a picture held back by a rope, you may as well look at it online for all the good seeing it in person will do you. Besides, it’s only special because some nutter waxed poetic about it in some book before pictures in art books were more common and then it was stolen for a bit causing a sensation around the whole thing when it was finally returned. The nonsense surrounding it never really died down. Go look at DaVinci’s lesser known works if you are so inclined to see a Da Vinci in person, and if you don’t know much about his technique and art in general enough to appreciate it, then by all means don’t bother with him at all and spend your time looking at art you actually like! There are plenty of other artists from that age who were talented and innovative. There are some artists who may arguably be better – art enthusiasts please don’t die of shock reading this. And if it’s not your thing, certainly don’t waste precious time on any of the Italian Renaissance painters, there’s a great wide world of art out there just waiting to be discovered! Perhaps later after you’ve developed a great appreciation you may wish to return to Da Vinci, but then it will be something you actually want to do. Although, no matter how much I learn about sports that I do enjoy (archery, horseback riding, falconry), I have yet to develop an interest in the more common ones (soccer, football, baseball), art may be the same for you. And, that’s okay! It isn’t an indictment on your character, intelligence or worth as a person! Some people have a more narrow interest in certain areas. 

The point being if you go to a place that is overrun with tourists you won’t be able to enjoy the very thing you set out to enjoy in the first place and you are far better not bothering with all the packing, planning, flying, walking and standing about in a line. You may as well find something similar closer to home that you can actually enjoy. Not that you can’t learn to be mindful in a crowd of people and enjoy something despite all the barriers but it’s going to be damned hard when you’re given all of 30 seconds to snap a picture and ogle the view. 

Don’t let the picture full you, I didn’t hop on a plane to visit this Japanese Garden, I drove less than two hours!

You may actually be quite surprised at the things that are nearby that you thought you had to cross oceans to find. Living in Pennsylvania I discovered that I could attend a tea ceremony demonstration in the Japanese Gardens just outside of Philadelphia. It is home to a lovingly built Japanese house built exactly as you might find in Japan. There, a small group of Japanese-Americans are willing to share their culture and traditions with visitors. I was able to see some of my top things without any jet lag or expensive plane tickets. I have seen a performance by the Moscow Ballet Company when they graced the stage at Hershey Theater. I have released lanterns to the sky as they might in Asia. I have seen King Tut’s treasures when they were on display in Philadelphia and the treasures of the Russian Tsars. I recently discovered there’s a place in Northern PA that has dog sledding!

Some of those things were chance items that were here for a brief time before moving on and I was able to take the opportunity to see them. However, I was on the lookout for such opportunities because I was being a tourist in my own backyard instead of ever dreaming of places elsewhere. You never know what you might find if you stop looking up at the sky, daydreaming and started looking at what’s happening on the ground where you’re at.

Living Life to the Fullest Where You Are

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We have all been there, browsing through the internet of far-flung places dreaming of all the place we long to visit, the things we’d see, the activities we’d do. We put them on a list either mental or physical for later. We may scroll through social media bombarded with advertisements for “cheap” travel options. We may not even be all that picky about the place and would happily take advantage of the last-minute deal, if not for the various barriers most of us face. How would we take time off?  Even if we have enough PTO to travel, we may in the middle of an important project that demands our attention. Who would watch our pets? Boarding them can sometimes be as expensive as the vacation. Plus, all the hidden fees and additional costs are not necessarily thought of when booking that flight. There’s hotels, taxis, buses and more. Even without these barriers, a trip may only come once a year, if we are lucky because it isn’t getting any cheaper to live. We have bills to pay and obligations to meet. Most of us are not travel bloggers where we get paid to travel. So our list gets ever longer and usually more expensive as time goes on, with few of those items ever getting checked off. Moreover, we find ourselves sitting at home day after day, scrolling through feed of influencers, travel sites and youtube videos and not actually going out and living!

But why do we want to travel so much? What is it we are truly hoping to experience? Do you wish to try new things? Experience different cultures? See history? Hear music? Speak with interesting people? Perhaps, learn a language? To embrace the spirit of adventure! Like you, I had a list of many things I would want to see, do, and experience and perhaps, blindly attached those things to specific places. However, much of what we want to experience in our travels is not attached to a specific place as those things can be as mobile as we are. Want to taste authentic French food? A quick google search can lead me to a restaurant owned by a French couple just 40 minutes away. Want to visit a Thai temple? Perhaps, there is one only two hours away, beautifully constructed and looks as if it were translocated right out of south east Asia.

You may find that they hold services on Sunday and that the experience of attending a service is far more immersive and informative of Thai culture than simply touring one among a throng of other tourists where the sacredness of the space has been transformed into a hallowed capitalist ghost of its former self – as was my experience with Notre Dam. Oh, the history of the place was still there but it did not hold a candle to entering the Basilica of Sacré Coeur de Montmartre most notably because the tourists were an afterthought. You were welcome to come in, but you could not take pictures, you were required to be quiet and respectful of the worship which was still ongoing. The Notre Dam was interesting, but I could have acquired the same experience from a book and some google image searches as it was a soulless enterprise. The Basilica was an immersion into French Catholic culture. One may very well find a much more authentic experience going to a small temple or other place of worship in their own backyard than traveling around the world to a tourist trap. This is what I mean by not blindly attaching an experience to a place.  

Now of course if seeing the Great Wall of China in person is on your list the likelihood of you seeing it elsewhere is quite slim. However, there are things about China that you could experience in your area. For instance, each year Philadelphia (in my backyard of Pennsylvania) hosts a phenomenal Chinese festival showcasing authentic Chinese culture and heritage, music, art, cuisine, language, and people. I had the opportunity of seeing a Chinese art installment at a university while visiting friends in Michigan and the Detroit Institute of Art has an entire section devoted to China allowing me to see both modern and classical eras of Chinese art. I have had the great pleasure of experiencing the culture of China though the likelihood of me going there is quite slim as there are other places that I have prioritized above China on my list of places to go. In Washington, they hold an annual Cherry Blossom Festival which showcases Japanese Culture. Despite being on nearly the other side of the world, a quick car ride and the right timing is all I need to enjoy authentic Asian culture.

Archery Demonstration at Japanese Culture Festival in Washington D.C.

The point is not to knock traveling. There is certainly a place for it. The point is that we do not need to travel far to start checking things off our list and live in the spirit of adventure we long for. Most of us do not have jobs which afford us the means to travel as often as we like or experience the things we want to experience whilst traveling. We are not travel bloggers, social media influencers or possessors of rich spouses who can send us off on holiday whenever the mood strikes us. We are middle class or poor who yearn to go on our own adventures, to see and experience the wide world. I hope that my simple record of my adventures closer to home (and a few abroad) will encourage you to embrace the spirit of adventure, to get creative with your bucket list and develop a better self-understanding of what you truly want out of life to live it to its fullest right where you are.