Being a Tourist in Your Own Backyard

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It may seem at first a bit strange to consider being a tourist in your own town. It is, after all statistically speaking, boring as most of those reading are not luckily enough to live in those more exciting areas and I am certain that even the epicenters of culture become mundane and dull. The denizens of Paris are most likely quite sick to death of the art in the Louvre, the towering cathedrals and intimate cafes. Perhaps, they dream of the snow capped Rockies and Yellowstone National Park or perhaps, tropical beaches of the caribbean. It is after all human nature to long for the very things we don’t have and abjure the things we do.   

Tourist Center of Lititz, PA

You might wonder what you could possibly do that you have not already done or seen what you have not already seen. I am here to encourage you to look again and to pay attention. As I have mentioned in another post, I had the privilege of seeing several bucket list items: a Russian Ballet, King Tut and the treasures of the Tsars. Those things were only made possible because I or someone I knew was paying attention to what was going on in the local area. This means you must first become aware of the museums and theaters in your area and check their websites regularly for visiting exhibitions and shows. 

Luckily, we live in the age of the internet and knowledge is but a few searches and clicks away. I like to start out by looking at my area’s tourism page and their events calendar. I have been surprised by what actually is around my area that I had no idea existed like the “catacombs” of the local brewery with their ghost hunting or the annual hot air balloon festival. I looked at the website “Only In Your State” and discovered all sorts of interesting places only a few hours away like dog sledding in the winter or lavender fields in the spring. It looks like I don’t need to travel to Alaska or France after all! There’s even indoor sky-diving just 45 minutes from me! I also semi-religiously check Facebook events calendar which is how I discovered that 3 hours away there is a winery where I could stomp grapes, cancel my flight to Italy! Facebook was also how I found out about the pop-up Ice Skating Ring at my local mall. Other touristy sites might be good to check out like Trip Advisor, although I find it’s not as good for finding things I don’t already know about. AtlasObscura is another site similar to Only in Your State that has led me to some interesting ideas. 

A display of Greek artifacts in Reading, PA

The main thing is not to rest on your laurels as it were but be on the lookout for different experiences. Eventually, you will learn what hidden gems your area is hiding. Take the unassuming Reading Museum in Reading, PA. You would never guess that such a small city would be home to a truly remarkable museum. It hosts an Egyptian mummy, a full knight’s armor, items from the Greek and Roman empires and its visiting exhibitions are usually quite good as well. My favorite thus far was Da Vinci’s inventions, where innovative individuals utilized his sketches and ideas to bring his many inventions to life. So often we see his art and hear of his inventions, but this exhibit focused on the more practical and scientific Da Vinci. Less than an hour away from me is a forge where you can make your own throwing ax and they have targets available to test them out afterwards. Hershey has a falconer where you can spend an afternoon learning about the sport of falconry and interacting with a bird yourself. I have attended a Gallery Opening. I have enjoyed a full moon with wolves and so many more things nearby. None of these things I would have found scrolling through some travel influencer’s instagram and all of them were far closer to home than I might have possibly imagined when I first started out.  

I do recognize that I am lucky to live so close to many cities and hubs of activities, Pennsylvania is after all the keystone state for a reason. Washington D.C., Philadelphia, and New York are all within quite reasonable driving distance from me and can be easily connected to via the train which runs from a city not 20 minutes away from my home. It was nothing to do a day trip down to the Cherry Blossom festival in D.C. back in college to see the showcase of Japanese culture or a trip to see a Broadway show in New York in high school. However, I am confident that there are things in your area which are worthy of your time to go discover. After all, despite being rather in the middle of nowhere Boulder, Colorado turned out to be a bit of a tea mecca when I visited, being home to both Celestial Teas and an authentic Russian Tea House! It also plays host to the National Center for Atmospheric Research and a cat cafe. Tea, science and cats, what more could you ask for?! 

Russian Tea House

Some of you may need to go further afield for some of those experiences which may have you scratching your head thinking this advice is contradictory to this blog. It is not intended to be a contradiction, more a recognition that not everyone has the same opportunities and access to extraordinary things near them. Most of the population of the United States is concentrated on the coasts and so there is a high likelihood that you dear reader, live near many hubs of culture. However, some really are living in places where the nearest neighbor is a 30 min drive past miles of cornfields. No amount of internet searches and creative thinking is going to offer them the same opportunities as those of us living on the coasts. This is not to be defeatist for those people who through no fault of their own are forced to go further afield than some of us.

The spirit of this blog is that we can find extraordinary things in our own regular vicinity to live a full life right where we are (generally). Some of us may need to draw wider borders than others of us and that is fine. I don’t often do day trips to New York or D.C. maybe once every five or so years as I have plenty to enjoy nearby. For me to make frequent trips to those places would not be in the spirit of what I am trying to achieve because I can usually find things closer to home. Others may be forced to do more frequent day trips just to see anything at all. Let us not be legalistic but rather embrace the spirit of this blog where we recognize that we can find joy where we are rather than needing to rush off to the far flung corners of the world.

She’s a Hooker! Learning to Crochet

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My mother was the one who first introduced crochet to me as a craft that was something other than for grandmothers. When she first became disabled, she suddenly found herself with plenty of time on her hands but not a lot of energy by which to do things. She could no longer fill her days with work and housework. She spent most of her time in bed and as so many of us learned during the pandemic, there is only so many TV shows and movies one can watch before feeling stir crazy. So with plenty of time on her hands, she returned to the crafting of her youth, in this particular case knitting and crocheting. Suddenly our house was being filled with piles of yarn that were transformed before my eyes into elegant scarves, beautiful shawls, stylish hats and warm gloves. I was surprised by how the things she made actually looked fashionable. In particular, I was fascinated by crochet with its ability to take on shape and form so unlike other textiles. Naturally, I wanted to learn.

Despite what you may have heard, there was not a strong association between crochet and prostitution. The lace of the ladies of the night had nothing to do with this fine and noble craft! Crochet originated as an art form in the 1800’s coming from “shepherd’s knitting” which was primarily practiced in Denmark and tambour embroidery, a chain-stitch embroidery from China. Despite its French name meaning “hook” it was actually most popular in England, going to show that the upper class English are quite determined to continue the Norman conquest some 800’s years later. Just kidding! The art continued to flourish and especially took off in Ireland during the potato famine as a way for young ladies to earn a living. It wasn’t until about the 1940’s that it became more popular over here in America and of course in the 1970’s it gave rise to the granny squares. 

It was with this long and noble tradition in mind that I picked my first project. A simple hat in lime green. I picked lime green primarily because it was a bright color by which to see and learn on. I sat dutifully next to my mother and she began to teach me. In principle, it is a matter of making a loop and then pulling next bit of yarn through the loop, to make another loop and so on and so forth. They use simple terms like yarn over which is just wrapping the yarn around the hook to be able to pull it through one makes bigger. What makes crochet interesting is that because it is so basic one can do things like wrap more yarn around the hook, pull it through a different hole than the one right next to it, twist it one way or the other in order to make interesting shapes. You can make blankets, clothes, flowers, even toys! The world is really your oyster when it comes to this art form. 

However, as with most things it is easier said than done. One would think that one would get a nice uniform size of loops by dint of the size of the hook. After all patterns call for certain sizes of hook in order to ensure the holes are that size. Not so, apparently I subconsciously tense and my holes become smaller and smaller and smaller until my darn hook can barely fit. Then my stitches become bigger. This pulls the existing fabric one way or the other. At times it was truly an exercise in frustration. My mother gave me different pieces of advice and assisted with getting it less lopsided. She encouraged me to keep trying while her pieces continued to dazzle. She made it look so easy, so relaxing, like going for a stroll in the park. My stroll consisted of going up a mountain in the pouring rain followed by falling down the mountain and landing face first in mud. Still, the hat did get done, misshapened as it was and too small for my own head, it graced the head of a stuffed bear. 

Having been abysmal at crocheting, I tried knitting, another noble art form, but failed to even knit a scarf as the problem of “tightness” was even worse with the knitting needles. I literally could not knit loose enough to fit my needles through the holes I was making as they became ever smaller with each stitch. Alas, it would seem that such an art form is not really for me. 

What can be gleaned from this bucket list item? Was it a failure? A waste of time? First, there is value in persistence even in the face of low performance. After all, no one’s first attempt at anything is particularly spectacular. The point was to gain a greater appreciation for the art, to try my hand at it and get the literal feel for it. I had a much better understanding of crochet afterwards, even though I could not replicate it, I had at least begun to develop an eye for the art form. There was a certain satisfaction in completing the project. Sometimes the act of persistence and perseverance through a difficult task makes the task worth it. After all, does it matter how one summit the mountain? 

One of my mom’s scarves

Finally, it was something that I could do with my mom at a time when she couldn’t do much. She had just suffered a stroke at the age of 46, lost her job, lost her income and a lot of her physical abilities. It kick started the next twenty years of surgeries and multiple hospitalizations. There were times when she almost died and so having spent time with her learning one of her passions was in of itself important. I was able to connect with her in a new way through her art. I may not ever get very good at it, but it is something I shall carry with me as a gift from my mom to me.  I do not have that hat with me anymore. I did not see the need to keep it because I have the memories of learning with my mom.

How can you learn crochet?

In the wake of the pandemic lockdowns, many people took up various arts and crafts, including crocheting. There is a rich world of online tutorials, classes at local craft stores and kits you can buy offline. The start up cost can be very little with kits starting at 15 bucks or so. You don’t even need to leave your house and it’s a small project that can be taken anywhere. 

If crocheting isn’t for you, maybe there’s someone special in your life who has a hobby you’ve been meaning to learn. Take the opportunity to ask them to share their passion; maybe find a small project that you can try your hand at. I’m sure they’ll be glad you asked and afterwards you’ll have a newfound appreciation for what they do. Who knows you may find yourself a new hobby!

Completed: 2007

Miles from home: 0 miles 

Cost: Free materials provided (15 – 20 for a starter kit from amazon)

Remembering Your Dreams

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Many of the items that grace my bucket list are items taken from my childhood rather than anyone’s list. Children typically dream without limitation. Their passions are boundless and unrestrained by the current reality. A child does not worry about the logistics of how they might be a doctor, astronaut, president and mad scientist all at the same time, only that they are concerned with helping others in a leadership role while exploring the bounds of the known world and those sorts of jobs are just the ticket to fulfill those desires. A child believes that they really can see the world, traverse the mountains, take up sword-fighting, rescue damsels, play the guitar and speak several languages. Then life happens and we forget what we really wanted to do and why. We ignore the things that make our hearts soar and fall into the square hole of society having chipped away our rounded parts. What are things that I never got to do as a child due to constraints of time, money or other resources? What are things I wanted to try but never had the opportunity? Where did I dream of going most? 

It was not the sandy beaches of the Caribbean that called to me, it was stormy moors, windswept fjords and the dance of lights in the sky that I dreamed about. I was fascinated by the geothermal activity of Iceland and the still, fae-haunted forests of the British Isles. I wanted to see castles in the forests of Bavaria. I wanted to take up the art of fencing and learn to speak German. Both of those activities I did during my semester abroad, and one activity I keep up with using an app on my phone. 

Closer to home, I have tried glassblowing, forging my own weapon, falconry and Irish step dancing, all things I really wanted to do as a child. I also wanted to tame a unicorn and take up dragon riding, but sadly the world seems to be a bit short on both unicorns and dragons these days – an argument for conservation if I ever heard of one! 

College: Acclamation Dance Irish Step Dancing

Part of our bucket list is to joyfully express our authentic selves and what better way of knowing our authentic selves then remembering the person we were before all the nonsense of “mature adult” life got in the way? Who were we before our heads were filled with perfectly sensible grown-up advice of what we ought to focus on? What did we want to do before we were told that our arts weren’t things that would keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies or that the only things worth doing were things we were really talented at instead of things we simply enjoyed? What were we good at before it became ruined by the pressure and expectation of having it be more than something to enjoy? What did we dream of before we learned that there were never dragons to ride and worse never unicorns to tame! We so often forget ourselves in the busyness of the day to day and even in the roles we take up in the lives of others. We look in the mirror and cannot even recognize ourselves much less know what we want.

Have you made a life that isn’t your own? What would you do different to make it your own? Now before we do anything drastic – I am certainly not advocating that you divorce your husband and leave your children to go find yourself, only that you work to remember who you actually are before you lost yourself and then focus on living out that best life. In fact, there is almost quite certainly no need to burn your current life down to start building the one you desire. I never really liked the movies where the protagonist essentially blows up her entire life and has to go on a world tour in order to find happiness. I rather see a story of a woman realizing that her happiness can be the life she has with just a few adjustments of action and perspective.

Singing my heart out with my co-worker Kayla for points during trivia night

If you are someone who loved cooking, but nothing you made was ever good enough for your overly critical mother then by all means reclaim it and cook! If you yearned to sing but everyone made fun of you because you couldn’t carry a tune, take some singing lessons and then slay at karaoke night! If you wanted to spend your time painting but your parents made you take extra math courses because artists starve and accountants make money, by all means paint! You will find conquering those mountains far more rewarding and fun than going out and hiking a mountain trail when your inner child never spent a day thinking of the forest. Trust me, the best moments of my bucket list are the ones that my former child-self would squeal with delight if she only knew that yes, one day she will do those things. I will never play a concert to a full audience with my violin, but that doesn’t matter, it was never about becoming a concert violinist, it was about playing the instrument itself. My dream was to learn to play and enjoy playing. What were your dreams? Remember your and let them become reality!

Falconry: Ancient Arts

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The year was 2020. The season was summer and Covid had only just begun to rock our world. Flights had been canceled. Cruise ships were docked. Some countries were completely shut down. Some states were open, others were shuttered. Travel and its exotic experiences seemed out of reach. The bucket list seekers, the vacation planners all had to place their desires back on the shelf for the foreseeable future. They would have to content themselves with the mundane of their local parks and restaurants, expanding their horizons only in their dreams. At least for travel minded, not so for the opportunist like myself who is careful to find hidden treasures lurking just around the corner. Naturally, shutdowns and limits on travel, could not deter myself and my sister for long from our sister dates. So in early July, after being in semi-lockdown since late March, we departed from our home on a special adventure.

Hershey Pennsylvania is famous for its chocolates, candies and amusement park. What many do not know is that the founder of Hershey Chocolate did not only make candies. He had a hotel and a garden as well. It was not always so, but today the hotel is home to a particularly unique experience, falconry. 

Falconry is an ancient art going back thousands of years. Falconers would take and train birds of prey for the purposes of hunting, often forming close bonds with the bird for a number of years. It takes months of dedication and attention to develop the necessary training and trust to have this wild animal be willing to hunt on the falconer’s behalf and consistently return to the glove. Most falconers have had the experience of “losing” a bird where the bird makes the decision to fly free rather than come back. It should be noted that these birds are not domesticated nor are they really all that tame. They are still wild animals and not pets. Most falcons will not respond well to an untrained falconer, which is why the falconry experience is so unique. There is one hawk species which makes such an experience possible, the Harris Hawk.

Harris Hawks are known for their odd sociability for birds of prey. In other words, they are quite willing to interact with a large number of handlers and are not quite as selective. It is this breed of hawk that Mr. Jack Hubley utilizes in his demonstrations. The demonstrations are made up of small groups to ensure an intimate experience between yourself and the bird. First, you are given the overall history of falconry and a little background on the different birds in his possession. Having been avid watchers of many falconry demonstrations before (as they are frequent at the PA Renn Faire), my sister and I were quite familiar with most of the information and surprised him with our ready answers to the questions he posed. 

Holding a Harris Hawk at Hershey Hotel’s Falconry Experience

With great eagerness, the time had arrived to actually interact with the hawks themselves. The first task was to ensure safety. Hawks as you may already know have sharp talons designed for ripping and tearing into soft flesh, much like your arm’s. For your own comfort and that of the bird’s (who would want to hang onto a yelping, flailing human?)wearing a glove is highly recommended. We were given some basic instructions and allowed to hold the Harris Hawk on our hands. We did so by raising our gloved hands signaling it to land on us. It was exhilarating. 

The bird was surprisingly light on my hand. Even through the gloves I could feel the strength of its grip. It stared at me with its golden eyes clearly investigating this new human. It was clearly a marvelous creature with a keen intellect and clever mind. I will never quite forget the wonder at having called it to my fist. I can only imagine what a true falconer feels when they finally bond enough with the other birds to have them consistently choose to return, but I shall have to content myself with this taste. After each participant had the opportunity to call the bird, we took turns putting it through different flight exercises such as having it fly through a tunnel of people or through hooped arms. 

Despite the oppressive heat of the summer afternoon, it was truly an amazing experience that I would recommend to anyone. It is one thing to view these magnificent creatures behind glass or wire at the zoo or to watch a falconer showcase their skills with a bird, it is quite another to be able to try it out yourself. One of the best parts what that it included photography, so I was able to focus completely on the activity. I am eager to take the next step with my sister, A Hawk Walk, where we walk the grounds of Hershey in an intimate affair of just us, the falconer and of course the Harris Hawk. 

How can you experience falconry?

The sport of falconry is alive and well throughout the country as there is only one state where it’s not legal, Hawaii – I feel for obvious reasons. There are many places that you can look to find similar excursions such as Wing Blade Falconry in Nashville, TN, Troutbeck Hotel in New York, Rancho Bernardo Inn in California, Sky Island Falconry in Tucson, AZ just to name a few! 

Unfortunately, in my brief research it does seem that in the time between this writing and when I went, the price has increased significantly and most places are charging close to $100 per person. Things are only getting more expensive, but by staying in our own backyards we can minimize the costs of travel, hotels, and food so free up our money for the things we really want to do.  

Completed: July 3, 2020

Miles from home: 30 miles 

Cost: As of this writing (2024) these experiences will cost about $100. 

Don’t Live Some Else’s Life

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It is quite tempting to go to other people’s bucket lists and put down whatever they have put down. Many are things that just seem like they ought to go on a bucket list, throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game or summiting a mountain. We put them down on the list because those seem like things we “ought” to do. However, that is not the essence of this sort of bucket list! Know thyself is our rallying cry! 

The entire point is for us to live our lives to the fullest right where we are and that does not mean living someone else’s life. I would never put down throwing a pitch out at a baseball game or going to the Super Bowl. I don’t like sports. I don’t like watching them or playing them so why on earth would I include something like that on my list? I know this may seem rather strange as with the reverse bucket list, I encouraged people to put down items they may not even seemingly care about. However, that was about cultivating a spirit of gratitude for what you have already gotten and a spirit of childlike adventure as you go about living out your day to day life. It was not for us to become anything other than we are. I mean I might want to summit a mountain at some point, I do like hiking but I don’t LOVE hiking, so maybe a small one as like a physical challenge, but I’m not climbing to the peak of Mount Everest. It’s cold and way too much snow.

Lantern Festival, it was windy!

We don’t want our energy to get focused on following the dreams of other people and losing our own sense of self in the societal expectations of the things we ought to pursue. If you find yourself engaging in activities for the likes, comments and accolades of others then chances are that “bucket” list item should have never been there in the first place because it didn’t come from your own real desire. Not only are we giving into pressures to spend our precious time and energy doing something that we don’t actually want to do, we cheapen any joy we may get out of doing it by not living in the moment. Doing something outside your norm should be about self discovery and exploration not about your social media and certainly not about meeting other people’s expectations!

It’s not that something that you wouldn’t necessarily do should never be on your list, but the reason for it being on your list should resonate with you. My sister often is my go to person for my adventures and there have been times when she has suggested an adventure or experience that wouldn’t be on my radar like woodworking. It’s not an activity that has ever “spoken” to me, but I am willing to give it a shot and see, to learn something new. It’s still within the realm of something I’d enjoy doing. I have enjoyed many different sorts of crafts, so why not that one? That is the self-discovery part, trying new things and learning about myself. I am certain that when I do embark on it, if I approach it mindfully, I shall enjoy it immensely, learn something new and develop a greater appreciation for the craft. 

As I said earlier, I wouldn’t put on my list throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game on my list, but let’s say I had a dear friend who offered this experience as well as a chance to meet the players and other things around the baseball game. I might very well take them up on this offer if I were exploring other aspects around baseball. Something that greatly interests me is anthropology. I could very well go to such a cultural event if for no other reason than to fully immerse myself in it from a more intellectual and cerebral perspective. I may be intrigued by the traditions and rituals surrounding the event. Suddenly the act of throwing out the first pitch as participation in these becomes something much more exciting and intriguing for me. I may develop a greater appreciation for my friend’s passion, understanding his connection to the tribe of his team and the significance it plays in his life. It becomes more about gaining a new perspective on someone I care deeply for and allowing myself to see their passion through their eyes rather than my own. I have found that almost any topic intrigues me when a passionate expert shares it with me, so while I won’t add it to my list it’s not something I would necessary turn down flat if offered depending on who was asking.

Sometimes you just gotta be a little silly!

It is about being intentional not only in the things we decide to do but also in the act itself. When we’re doing something for outside acceptance it will be spent getting just the right pictures and thinking about what it will look like on social media rather than truly being present. This goes for things that we want to do as well but even more so with things that do not resonate with who we are. Sharing things on social media is all well and good to have those we care about share in our joy. However, it goes beyond simply sharing a joyful moment or capturing a memory then you’re probably sucking the soul right out of the experience. It is about cultivating real, authentic experiences which enrich our lives, not chasing the image of what someone else thinks our lives should look like. This goes for any goal or life milestone. Our lives are far too short to be caught up in the oughts or shoulds of expectations, especially when we have so many oughts and shoulds that are required for minimal comforts like getting a job and paying our electric bill. When you are looking back at your life do you want to live in regret having chased down other people’s approval and status or do you want to look back with joyful gratitude for a life well lived? 

See a Live Play: Shakespeare in the Park

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Perhaps, I owe many of these adventures to my mother because while she did not teach me these principles directly she set the example. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. I wore my sister’s clothing once she grew out of it, shopped at thrift stores and grocery outlets, ate leftovers, and used the library as a primary source of entertainment. We rarely went on trips longer than a day, but my mother worked hard to ensure my childhood was still enriched. She scoured the newspapers and kept her ear to the ground for low cost or free events. It was at a time when the internet didn’t really exist and being on the lower end of the economic scale, we were late adopters of most technology. I remember going to things like a bank opening and riding a pony, visiting museums when it was free admission for kids and going to concerts at our church or library. One of these events was the annual Shakespeare in the park play and it remains to this day one of my favorite childhood memories. 

Every summer, we’d pack up a picnic dinner, chairs, blankets and head to the park. We’d stake our place among the quickly growing crowd. After eating sandwiches and drinking the rare soda, my brother, sister and I were allowed to go play on the playground with the other children until the play began. We would let our imagination run wild on the playground imagining dragons or fairies around every corner. We would make quick friends of the other children that were there to join in our games even though the friendship lasted less than an hour. Despite our fun, our parents never had to entice us away from the playground because we were so eager to watch the real magic begin. There was nothing so enchanting as a play by the bard himself.

Lake at Longs Park

The plays were put on by the Theater of the Seventh Sister, named after the seventh star of the pleiades constellation. It was a group that put on performances from the late 80’s through late 2010’s. These were by no means broadway spectacles but it didn’t matter with the generous support of the community, these phenomenal actors and actresses brought Shakespeare’s comedies to life each year as part of a larger arts in the park summer series. I remember sitting on a blanket at just eight years old completely spellbound as they spoke in the poetry of the plays, absorbing the rhythm of iambic pentameter. The heat of the summer melted away and I was transported to another place and time. The experience solidified both my adoration of Shakespeare and my love of live theater. 

I will not hold up theater over film or television as some sort of superior artform nor will I say that the opposite is true. Both have their place, but film and television is far more common and unfortunately far more accessible. Many people have not had the opportunity or privilege of watching a live performance. It is very different to see a story spring forth with moving sets and props. The way they speak to communicate emotions is not the same way as in a film, their movements and expressions are more exaggerated. 

The Globe by Richard Croft is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

It is fun to see how the same words can be reinterpreted by an actor, with different emphases or cadences. Where one might let their voice break of heartbreak, another may get more forceful with anger, both valid interpretations. I often find myself responding more on an emotional level to a live performance than to a recorded one on a screen. Perhaps because there is a more direct connection with a live person, when one could reach out and touch them, it feels somehow more real even if the sets are clearly more fake. That is the strange paradox of a live performance, when so much is stripped away by the very nature of a play, what is left can seem more real than a movie filmed with a full set. I do not remember all the films I have seen. I do not usually have strong emotional reactions to movies. I certainly don’t remember most of the episodes of the hundreds of shows I’ve consumed, but I do remember the plays. I remember how they made me feel. I remember how the actors moved, the inflection in their voices. I remember magic. To this day, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, The Tempest, A Comedy of Heirs and The Taming of the Shrew remain etched in my mind. I can still hear the echoing voices projected from the amphitheater. 

How you can complete this item: 

If you have not seen a live play, I do recommend you go to one. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare. While he is considered by many to be one of the greatest playwrights that ever lived, he is not for everyone, much in the same way not everyone enjoys Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals or think Taylor Swift is the greatest song writer that ever graced the stage (I would be one of those people). Find what would interest you, there are plenty of plays to interest anyone. Be like my mother, scour the newspapers (or facebook events page) to see what live shows may be in your area. Many cities support the arts and try to help the public access them by putting on shows in places like parks or larger theaters. Pack a picnic, let the kids play on the playground until the show begins and then lean back in your chair and lose yourself for an hour or two in something truly phenomenal. 

Completed: Childhood

Miles from home: 12

Cost: Free

Reverse Bucket List: An Exercise in Gratitude

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The first thing about any bucket list on a budget is simply to take stock of all the things you’ve already accomplished in life. Obviously, most of you will start with trips you have already taken since most bucket lists involve some sort of travel. I won’t rant about our cultural obsession with travel in this post, but at some point, you can expect one.

At the time of my bucket list creation, I had already spent a semester abroad allowing me to check off many of the European destinations I would desire to go: Germany, Ireland, France, Austria and Italy. I had taken a small trip to support a school in Haiti (more on that later) and there were a handful of states I had visited outside my own.

After the obvious travel, many bucket lists will break themselves up into various categories for consideration. Travel may have subcategories such as specific things to do and see. On mine seeing the Statue of Liberty and Checkpoint Charlie were in a subcategory along with visiting a butterfly garden, making a wish at the Trevi Fountain and seeing King Tut. Nature might be another sub category in travel. In which case the Rocky Mountains may grace your list as it does mine.

However, we want to do more than simply travel and look at things we want to experience. We may want to learn or at least try specific arts and skills. Some which would require many years to truly master may just be an introduction of sorts as with my glassblowing class. I dabbled for a few hours and learned more about the process. I also watched multiple demonstrations of glassblowing. There may be specific food you have tasted like a truffle mushroom. Festivals or cultural events you may have enjoyed such as going to a lantern fest where they release lanterns into the air.

Often life experiences or milestones will make up some items of the list. These milestones could be the major ones we consider such as graduating college and having children, but others may be having started a retirement fund or being in a friend’s wedding.

There are also goals that we may have completed for self-improvement, languages learned, instruments played, weight lost, or miles run. With self-improvement, there are things we have most likely done to help the world be a better place whether that was attend a protest, sign a petition or volunteered at an animal shelter.

I cannot stress enough that this is not the time to be modest. It is the time to realize your many blessings and to embrace the spirit of childlike wonder. There are many things that you see everyday that some people only dream about. The mountains of snow you experience each January that makes you sick thinking about, is on someone’s bucket list who has never seen snow. There are many who live in those same snow-capped mountains who dream of being able to swim in the ocean and would be happy to have the experience of finding sand still in their shoes two weeks later. 

In order to make my own list, I surfed the web for other people’s lists and added items that normally would not occur to me as all that exciting such as walking across a suspension bridge or seeing a horse and buggy. However, when looking back at these activities which seemed rather mundane, I realized that I had taken those experiences for granted as something commonplace rather than things to be excited about. I was able to better appreciate those everyday moments as something joyful and carry with me that joyful spirit of the mundane as a blessing.  

As I completed my list several things happened. First, I was surprised by all the things I had already accomplished in my almost thirty years (I was 29 ½ when I first wrote my bucket list), despite having grown up in a lower middle class home and barely making it since college. My list was actually close to 200 items!

Second, I was filled with gratitude for having done so much already. I was especially filled with gratitude for all the things I had taken for granted in my area and saw things with new eyes, embracing an almost childlike enthusiasm for the world around me. The next time snow fell instead of grumbling about having to drive in it and shoveling the blasted stuff, I took time to really marvel at it. The way it sparkles in the sunlight, and glitters as it floats down from the trees. I stopped to listen to how sound changes after a snowfall, becoming soft and crisp. Fall has now become a time when I track the peaking of the leaves. One year for my birthday, I drove out to a trail and went about collecting the most colorful and best leaves. The magic which had faded was renewed and leaves were once again as jewels.

Third, it instilled a spirit of adventure where rather than sitting about waiting for things to happen or worse for me to have a carefully curated plan, I started going about my days open for things to happen, my ears and eyes on the lookout for quests. Sometimes things that weren’t on the list suddenly became part of the list, like my cameo in a very small film production. One never knows what might be lurking around the corner and that is half the fun!

Finally, it gave me a lot of hope that even the things I didn’t think would ever happen will happen. In the past seven years since that first list, I have been continually surprised by how the blessings have been poured forth and all I’ve been able to do. 

I hope that in the completion of your own reverse bucket list you find yourself marveling at all the things you’ve already done, filled with gratitude for those things, embracing a child’s spirit and filled with optimism about all you’re going to do.

Combating Over-tourism: Stay Home

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There is a growing problem in the world that has exploded post pandemic: overtourism. It was a problem prior to the pandemic, but it has increased exponentially after several years of people being cooped up and prevented from traveling with little signs of stopping. This has resulted in iconic places being overrun by tourists turning once beloved authentic experiences into Disney World attractions with about as much spirit and an equal amount of crowds. 

How can one even enjoy these places with the crowds and the jostling for position? How can you say that you were actually in a place if all you did was stand in line, snap a picture of yourself there and move on to the next “iconic” spot in the area? At least at Disney World the line culminates in a 60 second ride rather than a 10 second picture, as you will feel equally soulless afterward. To be fair, the enjoyment you will get from that experience will most likely be from the many likes and shares that you get; an equally fleeting reward as a ride but less honest, at least the ride isn’t pretending to be something it isn’t. 

The crowd at the fountain was shockingly huge even late at night. As you can see, there was no way to get a shot without people in the background.

The local population suffers for our own over indulgence. Short term rentals push residents out of their homes and local food markets cater to tourists looking for a grab and go snack rather than produce for a home cooked meal. Local festivals, once a point of pride for residents, become activities they no longer recognize nor enjoy as their voices and concerns are drowned out by the ring of outside cash. 

Worse, in participating in this overtourism, you are contributing to the ruination of the very thing you espouse desiring to preserve. We travel for the cultural experience to interact with people and places that are different from us to enrich our lives and to support the existence of that precious human expression in an increasingly homogeneous, industrialized and globalized world. It would be better to watch a documentary and never step foot in Venice than to contribute to its ever increasing decline. Given the declining likelihood of encountering locals its not like you’ll be missing out on interacting directly with the local populace. 

By staying closer to home, I am ensuring that I am not contributing to the problem of over-tourism elsewhere. It also means that I can enjoy similar bucket list experiences, but with less crowds. I do live in a tourist area and we are seeing an increase of tourism and in some cases, over-tourism. Luckily, most of the tourists are focused on Amish and farm experiences, leaving the things I want to do alone. Sometimes going to a specific place that is known for a certain thing is the worst thing you can do for your bucket list experience because of over-tourism. You will be dealing with crowds and shortened snippets of the very thing you came to do. 

When I was in the Cayman Islands we went to the turtle center where we had the opportunity to wade with the turtles after the tour and before being set free to explore the center on our own. Because it was a tour group of about forty people we were only given a few minutes to wade with the turtles and interact with them. This resulted in people trying to frantically take pictures in the short time they were given and of course the shots were full of people. It meant we weren’t actually focused on the activity that we were there to do, interact with and enjoy the turtles. I went back to the wading pools about 40 minutes later in between tour groups when there was almost no one present. I was able to get into a pool with the turtles by myself, my sister snapped a few pictures of me in the pool while I was able to completely focus on the turtles. I barely remember the first time I went in because the clock was ticking and there were too many people jostling and getting in the way. Yes, we all got a turn and it was in the interest of allowing everyone the opportunity to enjoy these beautiful creatures. However, it wasn’t the experience I dreamed about having when I first booked my tour. It was only when I was able to get away from the crowd and be mindful about what I was doing that I was able to have the moment I wanted.

Once the crowd cleared, I was able to spend an intimate moment with the turtles

I also tell people to skip the Mona Lisa, as it is so small, protected behind thick glass in a dimly lit area, surrounded by a throng of people all vying for a picture held back by a rope, you may as well look at it online for all the good seeing it in person will do you. Besides, it’s only special because some nutter waxed poetic about it in some book before pictures in art books were more common and then it was stolen for a bit causing a sensation around the whole thing when it was finally returned. The nonsense surrounding it never really died down. Go look at DaVinci’s lesser known works if you are so inclined to see a Da Vinci in person, and if you don’t know much about his technique and art in general enough to appreciate it, then by all means don’t bother with him at all and spend your time looking at art you actually like! There are plenty of other artists from that age who were talented and innovative. There are some artists who may arguably be better – art enthusiasts please don’t die of shock reading this. And if it’s not your thing, certainly don’t waste precious time on any of the Italian Renaissance painters, there’s a great wide world of art out there just waiting to be discovered! Perhaps later after you’ve developed a great appreciation you may wish to return to Da Vinci, but then it will be something you actually want to do. Although, no matter how much I learn about sports that I do enjoy (archery, horseback riding, falconry), I have yet to develop an interest in the more common ones (soccer, football, baseball), art may be the same for you. And, that’s okay! It isn’t an indictment on your character, intelligence or worth as a person! Some people have a more narrow interest in certain areas. 

The point being if you go to a place that is overrun with tourists you won’t be able to enjoy the very thing you set out to enjoy in the first place and you are far better not bothering with all the packing, planning, flying, walking and standing about in a line. You may as well find something similar closer to home that you can actually enjoy. Not that you can’t learn to be mindful in a crowd of people and enjoy something despite all the barriers but it’s going to be damned hard when you’re given all of 30 seconds to snap a picture and ogle the view. 

Don’t let the picture full you, I didn’t hop on a plane to visit this Japanese Garden, I drove less than two hours!

You may actually be quite surprised at the things that are nearby that you thought you had to cross oceans to find. Living in Pennsylvania I discovered that I could attend a tea ceremony demonstration in the Japanese Gardens just outside of Philadelphia. It is home to a lovingly built Japanese house built exactly as you might find in Japan. There, a small group of Japanese-Americans are willing to share their culture and traditions with visitors. I was able to see some of my top things without any jet lag or expensive plane tickets. I have seen a performance by the Moscow Ballet Company when they graced the stage at Hershey Theater. I have released lanterns to the sky as they might in Asia. I have seen King Tut’s treasures when they were on display in Philadelphia and the treasures of the Russian Tsars. I recently discovered there’s a place in Northern PA that has dog sledding!

Some of those things were chance items that were here for a brief time before moving on and I was able to take the opportunity to see them. However, I was on the lookout for such opportunities because I was being a tourist in my own backyard instead of ever dreaming of places elsewhere. You never know what you might find if you stop looking up at the sky, daydreaming and started looking at what’s happening on the ground where you’re at.

Defining “Budget”

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My blog is focused on completing one’s bucket list on a budget, so I think it’s important to be transparent about my own perceptions and financial situation. I am sure dear reader that you have had the experience of seeing an article for chic fashion on a budget or plan a cheap getaway, or save money with these tricks! Only to discover that it was clearly written for a higher class of people. I mean sure, $100 may be a steal of a deal on those shoes, but it’s still $100 for a pair of shoes. Yes, $600 for a round trip to the south pacific islands is quite cheap compared to the usual $1000, but I still don’t have $600 to just drop on a whim.  

The median income of a single person in the United States is 37,000. When I was younger, I made closer to 20,000, as a fresh graduate student, I made slightly more about 40,000. It was only in the past year, that I have been making significantly more, 60,000. This pay bump was in part because I completed my LCSW. In posts where I reflect on things I’ve accomplished, they will reflect the limitations of my previous income. Moving forward, I will probably be able to show case items that are a little higher in cost with greater frequency. I no longer have to be quite as picky about the timing of my activities. Before, I may have only been able to afford one “big ticket” experience a year, now I feel freer to indulge a little more often. However, I am not someone who tends to over adjust in spending with increased income. I don’t wish to “keep up with the Jones'”. I have a frugal spirit especially in this era of rapid inflation. I believe that the principles by which I’ve been following to complete my dreams without breaking the bank will continue even with the increase of income in part because the spirit of frugality aligns with my desire to reduce waste and my negative impact on the world. As it turns out, completing a bucket list on a budget is better for everyone.

As someone in the helping professions, even with a Master’s degree, my income will never be as high as other professionals with similar education, licensing and experience. I do have student debt, but I have the privilege of owning my own home. It does come with a pretty significant catch. My disabled mother lives with me and she signed her house over to me a few years back to help protect the asset if her health declines. 

So in many ways I’m your average 30 something saddled with student debt and a lower than expected paying job. However, my housing expense is highly offset by living in a house that is paid off and my rent is in the form of property taxes. However, I am helping to support my mom which comes with its own cost. I am not poor nor am I especially rich. This blog is probably more for people who are lower middle class or the struggling millennial and older gen z. That isn’t to say if you aren’t that, it isn’t for you, it is an acknowledgement that my experience will probably speak more to those similar to me. If you are someone who makes more, then this will only assist you in stretching your income even further. For those face larger financial struggles than myself, I hope you are still able to find it useful. I always found it frustrating to be given financial advice that does not apply if one is making so little one is choosing between buying medication or food as my parents had to when my mom was first disabled. It amounts to saying to someone “have you simply tried not being poor?” I will do my best not to send that message.

When I speak about on a budget, I usually mean activities that cost two people between $100 – $200. This usually includes tickets, food and gas. The cost is typically split between myself and my sister meaning that on average I spend between $50 – $100 each month. This cost could easily be split in half with the absence of the meal out. Perhaps instead of dinner and a show, opt for only going to the show, suddenly you are each only spending $25 to $50 each. Sometimes the activity is significantly less, clothes significantly more. You may see posts that are atypical such as cruises, trips out of state or extravagant expenses. You will also see that I talk about saving up for those trips or being able to leverage family connections to help keep costs down. This isn’t about cultivating some sort of image, but to have an honest conversation. After all, part of the point of this was to break through the inauthentic noise of influencers to show how we can have genuine, amazing experiences without breaking the bank or constantly pulling out our passports. You will be surprised at how close to home your dreams really are.

Living Life to the Fullest Where You Are

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We have all been there, browsing through the internet of far-flung places dreaming of all the place we long to visit, the things we’d see, the activities we’d do. We put them on a list either mental or physical for later. We may scroll through social media bombarded with advertisements for “cheap” travel options. We may not even be all that picky about the place and would happily take advantage of the last-minute deal, if not for the various barriers most of us face. How would we take time off?  Even if we have enough PTO to travel, we may in the middle of an important project that demands our attention. Who would watch our pets? Boarding them can sometimes be as expensive as the vacation. Plus, all the hidden fees and additional costs are not necessarily thought of when booking that flight. There’s hotels, taxis, buses and more. Even without these barriers, a trip may only come once a year, if we are lucky because it isn’t getting any cheaper to live. We have bills to pay and obligations to meet. Most of us are not travel bloggers where we get paid to travel. So our list gets ever longer and usually more expensive as time goes on, with few of those items ever getting checked off. Moreover, we find ourselves sitting at home day after day, scrolling through feed of influencers, travel sites and youtube videos and not actually going out and living!

But why do we want to travel so much? What is it we are truly hoping to experience? Do you wish to try new things? Experience different cultures? See history? Hear music? Speak with interesting people? Perhaps, learn a language? To embrace the spirit of adventure! Like you, I had a list of many things I would want to see, do, and experience and perhaps, blindly attached those things to specific places. However, much of what we want to experience in our travels is not attached to a specific place as those things can be as mobile as we are. Want to taste authentic French food? A quick google search can lead me to a restaurant owned by a French couple just 40 minutes away. Want to visit a Thai temple? Perhaps, there is one only two hours away, beautifully constructed and looks as if it were translocated right out of south east Asia.

You may find that they hold services on Sunday and that the experience of attending a service is far more immersive and informative of Thai culture than simply touring one among a throng of other tourists where the sacredness of the space has been transformed into a hallowed capitalist ghost of its former self – as was my experience with Notre Dam. Oh, the history of the place was still there but it did not hold a candle to entering the Basilica of Sacré Coeur de Montmartre most notably because the tourists were an afterthought. You were welcome to come in, but you could not take pictures, you were required to be quiet and respectful of the worship which was still ongoing. The Notre Dam was interesting, but I could have acquired the same experience from a book and some google image searches as it was a soulless enterprise. The Basilica was an immersion into French Catholic culture. One may very well find a much more authentic experience going to a small temple or other place of worship in their own backyard than traveling around the world to a tourist trap. This is what I mean by not blindly attaching an experience to a place.  

Now of course if seeing the Great Wall of China in person is on your list the likelihood of you seeing it elsewhere is quite slim. However, there are things about China that you could experience in your area. For instance, each year Philadelphia (in my backyard of Pennsylvania) hosts a phenomenal Chinese festival showcasing authentic Chinese culture and heritage, music, art, cuisine, language, and people. I had the opportunity of seeing a Chinese art installment at a university while visiting friends in Michigan and the Detroit Institute of Art has an entire section devoted to China allowing me to see both modern and classical eras of Chinese art. I have had the great pleasure of experiencing the culture of China though the likelihood of me going there is quite slim as there are other places that I have prioritized above China on my list of places to go. In Washington, they hold an annual Cherry Blossom Festival which showcases Japanese Culture. Despite being on nearly the other side of the world, a quick car ride and the right timing is all I need to enjoy authentic Asian culture.

Archery Demonstration at Japanese Culture Festival in Washington D.C.

The point is not to knock traveling. There is certainly a place for it. The point is that we do not need to travel far to start checking things off our list and live in the spirit of adventure we long for. Most of us do not have jobs which afford us the means to travel as often as we like or experience the things we want to experience whilst traveling. We are not travel bloggers, social media influencers or possessors of rich spouses who can send us off on holiday whenever the mood strikes us. We are middle class or poor who yearn to go on our own adventures, to see and experience the wide world. I hope that my simple record of my adventures closer to home (and a few abroad) will encourage you to embrace the spirit of adventure, to get creative with your bucket list and develop a better self-understanding of what you truly want out of life to live it to its fullest right where you are.