hope – Budget Bliss: Bucket List

The Winding Path to Your Destination: Prayer Labyrinth

Published on January 31, 2025December 7, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Unlike a maze, a labyrinth does not have many branching paths intent to challenge one’s navigational skills, but instead is one single path leading to the center. It is intended to symbolize a meditative spiritual journey without the possibility of becoming lost. There is one entry point and one endpoint, the only exit is to follow that path in reverse.

Labyrinths have been used by the Christian faith since at least the 300’s and it gained popularity in the 600’s as a substitute for pilgrimage to the Holy lands after the Muslim conquest. In the faith, the labyrinth represents ones journey with God, as one arrives at the center one is entering arrives to be with God in perfect union. When one leaves, one has left a holy place to go back into the world. The practice is intended to be one of quiet contemplation and meditation, to pray and commune with God. It is a different form of worship as most often other forms are very stagnant in terms of physical movement. You sit at church to hear the preacher speak, you may stand up to sing and more modern churches may have people wave their arms in the air, but for the most part the movement is very limited. In this way, your whole body is part of the worship, the act of walking becomes part of the prayer.

Many labyrinths are outside allowing creation to return to its intended purpose of being our Cathedrals and places of worship. It returns us in a sense to the garden paradise and thus reinforces the journey back to God which the labyrinth intends to mimic. The ordinary act of walking in nature becomes transcendent.

The path that leads us back to God is not a straightforward path. It winds around at times seemingly moving us farther away from our goal, turning us away from it even though that is the only way to move towards it. To take that next step is an act of bold faith and trust that the path will lead where it is meant to be. In some labyrinths the path just before the final journey to the center takes us to the farthest point as it winds us all the way out and around before finally turning to the goal.

Life can often seem that way as well. It can seem that we are being led down paths away from our goals or that we are farther away from what we are striving for than when we started. We may be tempted to turn back and try to go another way, only to discover there is no other way. We may find ourselves frustrated by the seeming lack of progress and give into the despair of hopelessness. The only way is forward, to trust the path and take that step of faith.

As one walks the path of a labyrinth, one may notice weeds or patches of clovers popping up depending on how vigilant the groundskeepers are. Then again what is truly a weed in a garden devoted to God? Is it not his creation that has been sent there? The judgments of the world hold little sway there, perhaps they serve as a reminder that the flaws and shortcomings we see in ourselves are gifts from the creator. The obstacles in the path are not obstacles at all but blessings.

It was on a cool October morning, when the land was covered in fog that I embarked on my own prayer journey at a local church. I had read about prayer labyrinths and their meditative uses for quiet reflection and solace. As I was going to be in town on other business, I decided on a whim to drive a little out of my way and go in search of it. The labyrinth was tucked away behind the church in the wildflowers. Although being October, most of the flowers had lost their luster as they prepared for winter. The field itself was devoid of the bright hues one associates with flower fields; instead the plants had been transformed into dark sentinels to stand watch through the darkest months.

At the entrance, I placed my phone and car keys to the side in order to devote myself fully to the practice intended by the architects of the labyrinth. Pausing at the front, I took three deep breaths to ground myself and be fully present in the moment. Then I began to walk and prayed. I wound around the path allowing it to twist and turn as it would taking in the few still blooming flowers which dotted the inside. As I approached the center, I paused knowing that in the next moment I would be stepping into the inner sanctuary. I then stepped into the middle and rested in the presence. My journey out was slightly different than my journey in as I softly hummed hymns to myself. Perhaps, I was taking the joy of heaven with me in the form of music and song.

Once I returned to my phone, I did pick it up for purposes of documenting in pictures the labyrinth in part to be able to return mentally to that place once more. In part to be able to share the experience with you dear readers with hopes that you will be encouraged to go on your own meditation journey. Still, on my second journey inward, I found myself still meditating and reflecting as if the design itself instills the mindset. It was on this second journey that I considered the imagery that labyrinth invokes. It was during that time that I reflected that at the point where I was seeming farthest away was actually when i was closest, even though when I first entered the center appeared to be just within reach. It was in taking pictures, that I reflected on the apparent weeds and wondered if I could call them weeds since they were in a sense planted by God. If God could have weeds in his Holy place then surely they are not weeds at all and if I saw them as weeds was I not looking with the world’s eyes? What did I see in my own life as weeds? When did I think that I was far from my goals when they were just within reach if only I kept going? What might I see if I looked at my own life as a labyrinth?

On my way back to my car and out of the wild flowers, a butterfly came floating by my face, twirling around me and floating above. Was it a sign that the prayers asked would be answered? Was it a message of hope? Perhaps. Perhaps it was just a butterfly. Still, I shall take comfort in it for whatever may come in the next days. I shall remember the lessons of the labyrinth and sing the hymns of faith and thanksgiving.

How can you experience a labyrinth?

First dear reader, you need not be of the Christian faith or of any faith to enjoy the benefits of a prayer labyrinth. Many are simply called mediation gardens and even those without a faith find benefit to walking in them. The practice of meditative walking still helps people connect with their bodies, commune with nature, alleviates stress, supports their minds and improves over all well-being. You may find yourself making similar reflections as I did that life has its many twists and turns. You may reflect that the only way is to move forward and trust that you will obtain the goals you are reaching for. You may ask yourself if the flaws you observe are truly flaws or simply the way you’ve been trained to see them. Perhaps, you will leave as I did with a slightly different outlook than when you entered.

Labyrinths can be found all over, at churches, hospitals and other public spaces. Some people have created them in their own backyard. Each one has a unique design and some are much bigger than the one I visited on a misty morning. It may be difficult to find as they are not always advertised and some are not necessarily open to the public. However, I found that with careful research I was able to locate one not 10 minutes from my house. I encourage you dear reader to visit a labyrinth. I think you will find the experience is worthy of your time.

If you don’t have access to one, then a meditative walk could help you achieve a similar affect. After all it’s about getting a similar result from a given experience. As always, dear reader, we needed do the exact thing to achieve the same or even better results.

Completed: Fall 2024

Miles from home: 5

Cost: Free

Being Okay With Missing Out

Published on December 17, 2024November 10, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

In the spring of 2024, a wonderful and amazing phenomenon occurred. The Northern Lights were visible throughout much of Northern America, even down as far as Puerto Rico. Not only was it visible, it was visible on a Friday night, meaning that one was free to stay up late and really enjoy the rare visual display so far south. Unless you were where I lived. Where it was cloudy for miles. Unfortunately, I did not have the capacity to go drive for miles just to see them, though the temptation was certainly there.

The level of frustration that I felt the next morning seeing thousands of pictures flooding my feeds and social media was astronomical. It seemed that everyone else had gotten to enjoy my dream, but me. People who had not even cared about ever seeing the Northern Lights got to see them, but not me, a person who has been dreaming about it since she was a young child! It is always cloudy during major astronomical events at my house from the planetary alignment, to the comet to this! It was unfair! It wasn’t right! Stupid weather! Stupid sky! Stupid sun! Grrrrrrrr!!!

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and reminded myself of all the times the universe had responded to my hopes with a no and how often those “no’s” had led to bigger and better things later. I would trust in the process of life. Had I not just experienced a total solar eclipse in Vermont after missing one almost seven years prior? If I had not missed out on the one, would I have gone to Vermont or New England? Perhaps, not. Did the “no” not open up something wonderful, even if seven years in the making?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I could continue to dwell on it, cursing the decision I made to not drive in the middle of the night to go see them. But then would I have even enjoyed them, being tired and stressed out from rushing to see them? Would I have cut my experience short, because of the obligations I needed to meet the next day? Then having “crossed it off the list” no longer consider trying to go and see them to really enjoy them? A bucket list dream come true or a check in the box? There is a reason I opted not to jump in my car and rush to go see them. There is a reason, I choose to wait for the right time, because trying to force an experience often robs us of fully enjoying it. And truth be told, there have been several more instances since May of the Northern lights gracing the skies, only for it to be cloudy. Every. Single. Time. At this point, it’s just comedic, and I just laugh at the universe remembering that now is not the time to force things.

When we try to force things, it’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, it just doesn’t work. There’s all these gaps around the peg where something is missing and it’s a tenuous hold at best. We rush through the experience, we don’t savor or enjoy it. The anxiety and stress of trying to just “make it work” is what we remember rather than the end journey. In our faulty human ways, we may end up sabotaging ourselves and robbing the future us of something much better. We miss the blessing that was being given to us in that moment, rejecting both the current one and the future one.

It can be difficult to accept missing out, especially when it is something you really wanted. It can be even more so when it seems that everyone else got it. The question becomes when is it my turn? When is it my time? Why can’t I have it right now? Don’t I deserve to have it? The answer may be not yet, it may even be not ever. That last one can be a difficult truth to swallow. Sometimes the “no” is unchanging and we will never get what we’ve asked for. We cannot know the reason for this, but focusing on the no, blinds us to all the times we hear yes. It robs us of the joy of what we have and the gratitude for all the blessings that are still coming. The not ever may be because we were meant for a bigger blessing than the one we were asking for, but if we constantly reject the blessing because we are so focused on the thing we wanted, then we may get neither.

No one likes missing out, and it is a perfectly human response to be frustrated and sad. However, we should not swim in these feelings, building up anger and resentment. Imagine if I had spent my time shaking my fist at heaven for a missed “blessing” when I had only a few weeks prior experienced an awe inspiring total eclipse? How quickly we forget the things we have, when we sit in a moment of lack. How fleeting those moments become when we let them slip through our fingers when the next obstacle comes into our path? If instead we focus on the blessings we have received, we bring those blessings forward with us into the moment. We instill hope for the future and begin to look forward to what surprises the universe may have in store for us. We find ourselves enriched rather than lacking.

The moment of frustration passed, leaving me sipping my coffee and reminiscing about my recent trip to New England. I relived the awe of seeing the sun slip behind the moon, the way the day turned to twilight, the sudden drop in temperature as the darkness took hold. The northern lights will come again and I will see them when the moment is right. Until then, I will continue to cultivate a bucket list life in all the moments between and continually recall the blessings I have received. I certainly don’t need to wait for the lights to check the other things off my list. After all, if I am become too laser focused on the lights, I may miss other opportunities for bigger and better things. Whatever blessings that are in store for me, I want to be there with arms open to receive them.

Reframing: Shifting the Focus

Published on October 29, 2024August 29, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

It has been noted by my fellow therapists that I am exceptionally good at what is called “reframing” or the practice of looking at a seemingly negative circumstance and seeing the positives in it. Even something like a loss may be reframed in a positive light despite the pain of the loss.

A forest fire is painful, but necessary for the life cycle of the forest. Loss in life is the same. The part that burned will take years, even decades to recover and the marks of the fire do remain even centuries later, else we would not find it in the records of the forest. However, without the fire new growth could not happen and the forest would ultimately suffer.

Consider the loss of a relationship after a break up. This could be a very good thing. After all, we only have so much time to cultivate and grow our relationships with other people. On average, we can really only maintain about 200 relationships, if someone leaves, what a delightful opportunity this could be! You may spend your energy elsewhere, growing deeper more meaningful relationships with those you already spend time with or it leaves you open to a new one. It is not to devalue the relationship that you had or have, people are not cogwheels easily replaced. We should also not adopt an attitude of not valuing relationships at all, having deep and meaningful relationships are important to our mental health and well-being. It is to say that we should mourn the loss and allow ourselves the opportunity to grow.

The reframe is not about finding a silver lining or putting a false positive “spin” on the facts. It is about not dwelling and getting ourselves mired in the muck. We are like cameras shifting our focus from the foreground where all the action is to the background where the action is about to happen. So often you’ll be watching a movie with a battle scene and right before the reinforcements arrive, the scene shifts to a blurry hill and then just as the cavalry crests the hill, it comes sharply into frame. That’s the reframe! It’s about focusing on what is going well or what could go well rather than what is going wrong or about to go wrong.

The cynical reader will rightly be grumbling about now about how the calvary doesn’t always come and the loss of the relationship didn’t result in any positive outcomes. This is true dear reader! Life can often seem terribly unjust and it is one catastrophe after another! A silver lining person may say something trite about how you gained all this resilience and built all this character. Character is nice and all but it doesn’t keep a roof over my head or food in my belly – unless you’re an actor then I suppose that’s sort of the job.

My response to this is that it isn’t helpful to dwell on the negative. Absolutely, acknowledge it, process it, be emotionally honest about the problems and then shift your focus to a growth mindset. You should never try to invalidate or suppress your feelings because that leads to its own problems. It isn’t helpful to impose self-limiting beliefs when you’re already in a limiting situation. This isn’t about false hope. My reframes are often from a very pragmatic and practical mindset focusing on positive things and trying to build on those positive items because that is what works.

Reframing is always asking if there is another way to view this issue. It challenges the current thought process to consider if your view realistic, is it based on facts or feelings, what other theories could you come up with to explain this situation, is it as black and white as you may think it is and is your view out of habit or is there something there to support it? It’s about questioning the current narrative to one where you can take steps towards the things you want. When we reframe, we remove roadblocks that we don’t even realize we set up.

The earlier reframe about a loss relationship is a direct challenge to the idea that it was the ONLY quality relationship a person could have and that without that relationship the person would die alone. By looking at it as an opportunity to cultivate the current relationships or allow a new relationships the narrative shifts from one of hopelessness to one of hope, from one of being closed off to relationships to openness to them.

Reframing about opening ourselves up to different stories that allow us to shape more desirable endings. It empowers you to take those negative thoughts around a problem and transform them into potential solutions. We aren’t able to control very much in this crazy chaotic world that we live in, but we can control our thoughts and how to respond to all the craziness that happens. When we overly focus on the negative aspects of a given issue, we give those more power than they have a right to have. By working to reframe, we shift the power back to ourselves, and place ourselves in a position to pivot to the opportunities that the universe presents us with.