Tag: Bucket List

Japanese Tea Ceremony

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“There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be diminished by a nice cup of tea.”. – Bernard-Paul Heroux. 

When I was about five years old, I was obsessed with tea parties. I was first introduced to them through my mother’s own passion. She would take us to the local herb shop and the tea shop nearby to purchase quality tea and scones. At home, the water would be boiled and poured into a china pot, a timer set for the proper amount of time for brewing and then carefully poured out into the cups. It was during this time that she imparted to me the rules of tea, how to hold the cup, what order the tea should be poured out to each guest, the polite amount of sugar to add, when to add milk, how to stir it without making a ruckus. I learned the difference between afternoon tea and high tea (it’s not the same thing), that one eats the savory first then the sweets and exactly how one eats a scone properly (by breaking it apart into small bits). 

Over tea, she taught me about Victorian England and the antiques that decorated our house. She was quite fond of the late Victorian era, and I developed the same fondness. As part of my education, she bought me a tea book for my birthday. I was elated (yes, I was a strange child, I grew up to be a strange adult and I’m okay with this fact). I flipped through the pages and discovered an entirely new sort of tea, the Japanese Tea Ceremony. The book did not go into it overly much but it did allude to the sorts of things one might encounter, the special Macha tea, the whisk and the sweet that they might serve. In combination with my discovery of the Karate Kid, my love of Japanese culture was solidified and later reinforced with my introduction into anime (which I won’t get into here, other than Princess Mononoke was a definitive experience of my childhood). 

Ever since my discovery of the Japanese Tea Ceremony and all things Japan, I had wanted to experience it for myself. I got the chance in the summer of 2021, when I took the hour drive out to Shofuso Japanese Cultural Center.  The house was designed by Junzo Yoshimura as a 17th century style home. It was built in Japan in 1953 utilizing traditional techniques and then shipped to New York as part of the Museum of Modern art. It found its home, however, in West Fairmount Park in 1958 where it has graced the greater Philadelphia area ever since nestled in a beautiful Japanese Garden. It includes a pond garden with a waterfall, island, koi fish, traditional tea house and bathhouse.  

Walking through its gates, one could easily forget that one has not in fact hopped on a plane to the middle of Japan. Every corner of the building is a beautiful work of art, carefully tended and maintained. What delighted me was the dedication to keeping the building authentically Japanese. Unlike in America when something like a floorboard has some sort of damage or rot, the Japanese do not uproot the whole floorboard and replace it. Instead they cut around the damaged section and then fill it in like a puzzle piece. There was a sort of beauty in keeping the story of time rather than a focus on perfection. Flaws were a natural outgrowth of a house in use and there was a sort of artistry in the repair. 

Men and women in kimonos graciously answered questions about the house and pointed out its secrets. They informed us that the murals of the house were donated by an artist in 2007 and were inspired by the waterfalls. They told us about the hinoki bark root (the only one outside of Japan) and how it took 1.4 million dollars to repair it back in 1999. They were excellent hosts whose presence engendered a sort of respectful quiet in the guests. It is not that we did not speak, only more in hushed whispers as to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere. It is a house that invites calm reflection and relaxation rather than exuberant outbursts. 

In the heat of the summer, my sister and I explored the small garden which encircles the house. We took a moment to pause by the Buddha statue, littered with small offerings and tucked away among the bamboo. We sat in quiet reflection watching the lazy circles of the koi fish which were only interrupted when a tourist decided to feed them. The noise of the nearby city melted away and one could almost believe that we had stepped through a portal to the other side of the world. 

Soon we were invited to sit for tea. A woman dressed in a beautiful kimono came out to prepare the tea for us. While she began to prepare the tea. The male host graciously explained the “ceremony” as not a ceremony but more a set of expectations of manners that one should adhere to when invited to a formal tea in Japan. I suppose in truth, it was no more a “ceremony” than a proper English tea though perhaps the rules were a bit more structured to give the illusion of ceremony or ritual. One could make arguments either way – but he was speaking as a Japanese person and he indicated that it wasn’t a ceremony persay, so I am going to believe him as the expert in his own culture. 

We were instructed that we would be expected to admire the carefully chosen decorations such as the scroll. He explained the symbolism of the arrangement of the flower. As the woman began to prepare the tea he explained the different instruments and tools that she was using the small white cloth, the bamboo whisk, the scoop, tea powder and the metal pot to heat the water. 

First, the hostess brings in all the tools necessary for the tea preparation and then begins cleansing the utensils. Then she carefully places in the powder and hot water into the cup and whisks it expertly into a perfectly foamed tea. The cups of tea were passed around to the various guests and our male host continued his lesson. 

We were instructed in how to pick up our cups, turn it the proper 90 degrees and to take slow sips. He explained that we would be expected to admire the craftsmanship of the cups and to express appreciation for everything the host had done for us.

The tea made from the matcha powder had almost a soft, velvety texture in my mouth. It was a bit more potent than a typical green tea, but lacked the harsh bitterness that the black teas can have. Despite the heat of the day the hot tea was refreshing. I enjoyed the texture of the cup in my hand and took in the smell of the tea. 

We were also given a sweet to enjoy along with the tea. I felt quite terrible as the host had gone through great trouble to prepare the sweets and it had a jello like substance to it. Unfortunately, I have a sensory issue with jello as it makes me gag. I graciously accepted it and forced it down as I did not wish to offend her by refusing. However, I may still have offended her with my face. It did taste delicious, it was the texture of the jello that made it difficult to swallow. 

Despite my potential faux-pas, it was a delightful time and dream come true and the following year, I was surprised to find myself once again at a Japanese Tea Ceremony. This time armed with previous knowledge and in a more intimate though less peaceful setting. 

Each year, there is an annual tea festival in my state. As previously stated, I am a bit obsessed with tea. Together my sister, myself and my mom journeyed to a small town only an hour and a half away from home to a cozy tea shop tucked away along the main street. Behind the unassuming little tea house is a beautiful hidden garden which is where the highlights of the festival take place. Unfortunately for us, the day was quite wet, necessitating for much of the festival to be moved to the inside of a nearby church. This meant that the church basement was crowded, loud and somewhat uncomfortable. 

So it may surprise you to hear that within the noise and the crowd, I stumbled across an oasis of peace and zen, a small tea ceremony. A woman sat on the stage, her small tea house set up and invited you to sit. My sister and I eagerly took our seats in anticipation having so thoroughly enjoyed our last tea ceremony and my mother followed close behind. With a small polite bow and a tiny smile tugging on the woman’s lips, the ceremony began. Do not ask me what magic spell the woman wove, I only know that under her expert care, the crowd disappeared from my mind. For a small window of time, we were transported out of the world and into a quiet pocket of serenity. We took our time sipping the tea and making conversation. As expected, my sister and I expressed admiration for the cups and remarked on her beautiful display. We enjoyed the sweet treat offered (thankfully nothing gelatin, so I did not have to repeat my unfortunate behavior of last time!) We complimented her and thanked her for her time and consideration both verbally and with a small donation to help support the tea house in Philadelphia. All too soon, we found ourselves back in the crowded basement, but I shall always remember the spell that such skill can weave. That is after all part of the point of the tea ceremony, to approach the act of drinking tea with a mindfulness; to transform the mundane into an extraordinary art that allows the participants to enter into a calm space. Tea, dear reader, really can be magic. 

How can you participate in a tea ceremony?

If you live within a reasonable distance to Philadelphia, then you can buy tickets to the Shofu Teahouse and for an additional cost, participate in their tea ceremony. You can also check out the PA Tea Festival as the teahouse typically sends a representative to perform small ceremonies for the guests of the festival. 

If not, then google is as always, your friend. See if there are any Japanese cultural clubs or organizations in your area. They may offer classes or demonstrations to the public.

A word of caution, do not join a cultural organization only to check off something off your list; someone else’s culture is not your personal playground. As with any cross-cultural experience it should be done with genuine curiosity and humility. The tea ceremonies I attended were extended by invitation to the general public. I did my best to participate with respect and to be a student of their culture.   

The Long Haul 

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We live in a right now world. We have amazon next day delivery. We have Netflix to stream movies directly to us. We can download our videogames off steam. Instantly find the answer using google. There are few things in life that we have to wait for which fuels our desire for instant gratification. Even a lot of our bucket list items are intended for an afternoon or a week. We spent the week backpacking through a European country, cross it off the list. It may have required some forethought and planning, but it was still done relatively quickly. But what about those things that require a long time, like learning a language or losing a lot weight? How about mastering a skill like blacksmithing or an instrument?

Learn German in 90 days! As someone who took it for 8 years of her life and spent 5 months in the country speaking it, the book is a failure. It wasn’t even useful as a review of the language after not speaking it for nearly 10 years. Get massive biceps gains in just one day with this crazy method! I had nothing to lose but a day, my biceps were sore. They did not grow massively, I assure you. Fad diets and diet pills are probably the worst of these items because not only do they not work in the long run, they can be incredibly damaging. They do not help you keep the weight off and may impact your health in the long term to make managing weight even more difficult than before. 

At the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. Learning German wasn’t done in a day, but years.

Some of our goals and experiences are going to be things we have to do for the long haul. You want to learn a skill and not just try a skill, you’re going to have to put in the time, effort and sometimes expense to do so. I could do the free version of duolingo but after 5 mistakes, I would either have to wait hours for the hearts to recharge or purchase more hearts. I may as well pay for the monthly plan to help me achieve my language learning goals as I am reviewing German and learning Spanish. I’ve been at it for almost a year now and my German is almost back to where it was at the end of college, and my Spanish is still very basic. Granted, I only spend about 15 minutes a day on either language so because I don’t put in my time, my results aren’t as fast.

If I truly wanted to learn how to forge weapons, I would need to go weekly to the forge, buy my own steel and work hard to develop the skills necessary to make beautiful weapons. Heck if I really wanted to learn how to do it, I would learn smelting as well to master the entire process. Not only would this require time, it would require me to sacrifice other things as well. One can either be a jack of all trades or a master of one. If I spent my time at the forge, I probably wouldn’t have time to devote to my violin. My choosing the violin, I am saying no to many other activities that might fill my time. I’m not drawing or taking photographs. I’m not learning computer programming. Pursuits that I have at times toyed with but ultimately did not devote myself to. 

Sometimes we dabble in things, we may for instance take a six of twelve week course in photography or ceramics. We may take a single lesson in glassblowing or falconry. We know that these things will not confer onto us any modicum of true skill, but the taste is enough to satisfy. These are another form of “good enough” which I discussed in another post. 

However, for something we truly want to master. It requires something we have seemingly precious little of, time. One cannot become fluent in a language with a workshop or a twelve week class. It took me nearly eight years to become conversational in German and that was with semi-daily practice as I took it in both High School and college. It became quite stagnant with disuse. For one to be able to say one is fluent in a language it requires daily practice and use or else the most you will be able to say is that at one time you were fluent, but no longer. Oh it comes back quickly enough when you’re thrown in a situation requiring the language, but you are clumsy and stupid with it, the rules have gotten all muddled up in your brain and really why did the ancients insist on such an obtuse grammatical rule as changing the article based on the case? Why can’t the German “the” be, “Der, die, das, den, dem, or des”?

Taking a glass blowing class: To become proficient would takes weeks, to master would take years.

I encourage you to be judicious with the things you pick and not to overindulge in your ideas of what could be. I devote myself to just a few daily pursuits because frankly, I am a busy person. I haven’t the time to do much else. I have carefully chosen a few things that I want to do well that speak to me personally more than other activities and rarely skip on doing them. Attempting to cram in more items would mean not doing any of them all that well and I may as well not bother with more than the occasional workshop or short course on the subject. 

Now dear reader, you will not be able to become a multilingual, black belt in karate, computer engineer, doctor, guitar player, chess grandmaster, and astronaut, not unless you suddenly come into a lot of wealth and find yourself with both the time, discipline, coaches and tutors to achieve such a thing. Even then I would imagine, it would take a good ten years or so to achieve any of that. If you are not willing to put in the time and effort, it would be best to eliminate the mastery of the thing and go with simply trying the thing instead. There is nothing wrong with that and no shame in the decision. Some people are meant to be jacks-of-all-trades and masters-of-none and there are those who are meant to master one thing and be amazing at it. This is what you must consider dear reader. There are things that you want to accomplish that will not be done on a weekend or in two or three months. They may be life long pursuits that require daily practice to truly achieve the things you want to achieve with them. They will require you to give up other items in order to make room for them. By all means pick that which gives you joy and makes your heart sing. The journey will be long, frustrating and trying, but the reward will be sweet. 

Learn an Instrument: Rediscovering a Passion

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One of the definitive moments in my life is sitting on the couch staring at my mother’s boombox in absolute rapture as Pacabel’s Canon in D played. I was in love. It was without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard, the violin. It was not simply an instrument, oh no, this was the very voice of my being. If I lose my ability to speak, let me only speak in notes and songs. If someone gave me a choice between becoming deaf or blind, I would pick blindness every time, do not deny me music, it is the very sustenance of my soul. 

I unfortunately would have to wait several years before being offered the opportunity to play, but in 3rd grade our school offered us music lessons. I was absolutely elated to be able to pick the violin. I would have no other instruments. But oh, how I struggled to master it. The violin is a very easy instrument in principle. After all, how hard can it be? You have four strings, you press down your fingers to shorten said strings in order to achieve the different notes and to produce the sound you move a bow across. Other instruments require learning combinations of key presses to produce the sounds and controlling your breath to go up and down octaves. Surely those are much harder to master. 

It is in fact considered one of the most difficult instruments to learn. In part because it is such an easy thing in principle it lends itself to having a wide variety of producible sounds and variations of intonation. Additionally, it has no guides; each note (with exception of the open strings) must be produced flawlessly with little more than muscle memory and your ear to guide you as you slide your hand up and down the neck of the violin.  The spacing between your fingers varies depending on the “position” you’re in, the higher the position the closer you must space your fingers to produce the correct notes in tune. You are constantly adjusting with little more than a prayer. 

There are no words to describe the thrill of playing with mastery, effortlessly hitting the notes, cheekily moving your bow in just the right way to go from quiet to loud, hitting the bow catch to enhance the power behind the stroke, connecting the notes together in a slur or punctuating them with a staccato. The violin may be one of the most challenging, but it is also one of the most rewarding because it allows you to have so much expression and creativity with the interpretation of a piece of music. 

This isn’t to knock other instruments or to write a post about the superiority of one instrument over the other. For me, the violin is the best instrument it speaks to me in a way no other instrument or creative expression can. Which is really what this bucket list item is for me. It’s about utilizing the violin to express myself in an entirely new way. Playing is a simple joy. 

My collection of intermediate pieces that I have chosen to master over the next year or so

Sadly this was not always the case. I loved the violin and my parents knew this, so they encouraged me to pursue a potential music career. For reasons, I will not fully explain; I ended up with PTSD and unfortunately a secondary anxiety disorder. This greatly negatively impacted my ability to play. From a psychological perspective, my voice was silenced. I tried to hold on to it but the more I fought to keep my voice the worse it got and the worse my playing got. After high school, having failed my auditions for acceptance into a music program, I put the violin away. I kept telling myself that it was only temporary and I would practice again soon. It wasn’t until nearly 17 years later that I picked it back up again. 

I can’t say exactly what makes it different this time, only that I am playing 100% for myself. It isn’t to perform or to achieve anything. It was remembering why I loved playing in the first place, to reclaim that joy rather than focusing on achievement. Not having that pressure to compete has made going back to music like falling in love all over again. I think sometimes when we start to push ourselves into making our passions a profession or career or business it robs us of that joy. I probably wouldn’t have lost my music for 17 years if my violin playing had only been for joy as it is now. Granted the PTSD and secondary anxiety didn’t help but I wouldn’t have felt anxious about my playing if the playing had only been for its own sake and not my entire future. 

I cannot describe in words what it feels like to play now. Only that it feels like coming home. I approach it with a child’s enthusiasm and uncritical spirit. Mistakes are not a death sentence but a whimsical learning opportunity. I don’t mind people listening to my practice sessions, let them listen! I am in my own world once my boy hits the strings and I am in love with the violin once again. I almost never go a day without playing. It sustains me as much as food or water. A life without music was a life without color.  

Revisiting a piece I had mastered in middle school.

 I could have checked off “learn and instrument” from my reverse bucket list and continued to allow my violin to languish in the closet, but I didn’t because this wasn’t about learning to play an instrument, it was about rediscovering something that was lost and reclaiming it as my own. I wonder dear reader what creative outlets have you lost over the years? What passions have lain fallow under the guise of failure and self-doubt? What have you stopped doing because you weren’t “good enough”? What might happen if you picked it back up again? Would you rediscover a childlike wonder? Would you find yourself itching to get back to it after work? Would you find yourself refreshed in a way you haven’t been in a long time, like a desert after a rainstorm? Remember this isn’t to “turn your passion into a career”, so often that mindset was the very thing that turned you off your passion to begin with. Dear reader, you need not justify all that you do, sometimes you just love something; it brings you joy and that is the only justification that you need to pursue it 

How can you rekindle your lost passions?

If you’re like me, you may find your instrument hidden away in a closet somewhere only in need of a little TLC to get started once again. Perhaps, it requires a trip to the art store. Maybe you need to reach out to an intramural sports team.  Whatever it is, chances are you already know how to get back into it,  you just need to take the steps to do it. Even something like dance can be done by just clearing a little space in a room. After several months of play, I invested in new strings. After several more months, I am in search of a violin teacher to help coach me further.

Good Enough

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There are many experiences that absolutely require “authenticity”. They require the larger cultural context of a given region, country, ethnicity, culture, etc. to be the genuine item. There are many others that don’t require much more than themselves. These are the “good enough” items that clear the bar of the Bucket List without the rest of trappings of a given thing (often those trappings require you to hop on a plane and go to a different country). 

I often work backwards to my “good enoughs”. I may find myself dreaming of going to Japan. I may picture walking through a traditional Japanese house, enjoying a tea ceremony, taking in a Japanese garden, visiting one of their Buddhist temples, strolling through the bamboo, seeing the cherry blossoms, eating their street food, and seeing demonstrations of their weaponry and armor. Upon reflection, I realized I could do almost all of these things here in America. I was able to go to the Japanese Gardens with the tea house and enjoy a tea ceremony. I went down to the annual cherry blossom festival in D.C. and enjoyed street food, weapons demonstrations, music, fashion and more. These are my “good enoughs”. I didn’t need to go to Japan in order to say that I experienced the genuine item, because I found them here.

By thinking about a given Bucket List place and considering what I wanted to get out of a trip there, I was able to then build up a list of things to find nearby. I really want to see the lavender fields in France. I found a lavender field within driving distance to go visit, the same with the sunflower fields of Italy and grape stomping. Some things may be more accessible than you might imagine. I have been consistently surprised at what’s in my own backyard and what I could potentially do.

What makes a genuine item, “genuine”? It is often up to our own ideas and definitions. There may be people who say that unless I strolled through the crowded streets of Tokyo and ordered a ramen bowl from a street vendor in Japanese, I didn’t have the real Japanese experience. Perhaps, but I tend to feel that such a view comes from self-important snobs trying to aggrandize their own experiences at the expense of trying to cheapen the experiences of others. Don’t fall for the lie that the only “genuine”, “authentic” thing has to be done in the context of the “homeland” or that the necessary cultural context to appreciate them can only be achieved in a certain location. 

When visiting the rainforest in Costa Rica, they took us into a butterfly house. The butterfly house in Hershey is just as lovely and just as amazing. Unless you are a butterfly expert, you aren’t going to notice that the ones in Hershey, PA are a mix of various tropical butterflies vs. the 100% butterflies exclusively from Costa Rica and frankly, does it matter? Don’t let your friend who is a butterfly expert ruin it for you by telling you how this species would just never be seen in the wild with this other species. It was still amazing to see the butterfly house in the rainforest, but I could have skipped the butterfly house and been perfectly fine. I did go on a small hike through the rainforest after the butterfly house to see a waterfall. For me hiking through the rainforest isn’t something that can be re-created in America. For someone else, maybe the fake rainforest at Disney World is good enough. 

It is up to you to make the decision about what constitutes as “good enough”. If it met the desired outcome of what you wanted then it is good enough and no one gets to decide what that is other than you. You are a unique individual with unique reasons for wanting to have an item on your list. What might be good enough for you isn’t good enough for someone else, but they don’t get to dictate that to you and you don’t get to dictate that to them. 

I have had a tea ceremony at the Japanese Gardens and also in the crowded, noisy basement of a church during a tea festival. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the second more because it was a more intimate affair. It speaks to her skill as a hostess that I do not really remember the crowd or the noise, only the calm and meditative nature of the ceremony. She created a space of serenity among chaos. The noise seemed to melt away as we conversed and made light conversation. I can still taste the tea on my tongue even now. Given that if I did go to Japan and schedule a tea ceremony to achieve the same level of intimacy I would have to pay a fairly high premium. For me, that is good enough and if/when I go to Japan a tea ceremony isn’t something that is going to be on my must do list. That isn’t to say I wouldn’t do one, just it’s not on my list of musts and can be sacrificed to allow me to do something else. 

In fact after meeting so many “good enough”s you may find that certain places begin to lose their appeal. For example, I have been to so many museums with egyptian artifacts that honestly, Egypt isn’t that high on my list of places to go. I would rather see the Mayan pyramids to see pyramids. When I was younger, I had a much stronger desire to see Egypt because what I really wanted to see was the artifacts. However, despite checking off so many things on my Japan list, I still want to go to Japan. For some places, my good enoughs have only enhanced my desire to go whereas for others the desire has decreased. 

Dancing with Wolves

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We humans seem to have a love-hate relationship with wolves. In fairy tales and folklore, wolves are often seen as evil. It was after all the big, bad wolf that ate Little Red Riding Hood and blew down the houses of the three little pigs. Two wolves will herald the apocalypse in Norse Mythology. They were hunted to almost extinction because of their “threat” to farmers and people. Up until more recent times when every supernatural being got a sexy makeover, werewolves were considered hideous monsters. 

Yet, we know that man’s best friend came from a wolf or shared a common ancestor to the wolf. There are also folktales and myths of good wolves. The founders of Rome were raised by a she-wolf.  In Egypt, it was a wolf that separated the heavens and the earth and protected the pharaoh and his army. The Wolf-Kamey of Japan protects people from disease and other disasters. Wolves are totem animals, spirit guides and more. 

Though to be honest many of the apex predators enjoy a similar treatment, bears, tigers, lions and crocodiles to name a few. Most of these are both revered and feared subjected to various treatments depending on the prevailing thought of the day. Unfortunately, for many of these creatures the previous thought was destruction and in some areas continues to be.  Wolves have spent many years on the endangered species list with many of them disappearing from areas they had previously reigned for thousands of years occupying only 10% of their previous range. Their return to places like Yellowstone were hailed across the nation as a huge win for conservation efforts. Their return actually demonstrated how critical they are to other species as their arrival helped support plant life, birds, and other mammals. There is no substitute for an ecosystem’s apex predator. 

One of the larger packs at the sanctuary

With education public support has slowly grown over the years for wolves and with that support people’s love of them. Unfortunately, this has led to some negative consequences for some individual wolves. For some insane, unbeknownst reason, people think that they should keep wolves as pets. They also think that for things like tigers, but I digress. Wild animals are wild animals and are not like your dog. Sadly, this means that they are often mishandled and ill treated. However, because of their intense interaction with humans this also means they are unsuitable to return to the wild. 

This is where the PA Wolf Sanctuary comes in. For over 40 years, they have provided a home for wolves and wolf-dog hybrids where these beautiful creatures can live out their days in an environment suited to their needs with people who understand and can properly care for them. In order to support the care of their over 50 wolves, they offer educational tours where you can get close to the wolves, hear their stories and learn about these amazing animals. 

I first visited the sanctuary in college with my now ex-boyfriend. The tour was a small intimate affair of only a handful of people. This allowed us to linger near the wolves and really take them in. It’s hard to describe these majestic creatures in words. They are clearly very intelligent and inquisitive. They watch you with a certain intensity with eyes ranging in color from golden yellow to deep amber. The pack moves together with grace and purpose. You find yourself holding your breath as you take them in and then, the spell is broken and they remind you that they can be big, lovable goofs. 

My sister and I embarking on an early November excursion to see the wolves in their glory!

Your face cracks into a smile and then a delighted laugh at their antics as they play with one another. You watch them splay out their front paws, their faces low to the ground in the universal “play bow”, much like your own dog at home. They wrestle and chase one another with the elders nearby to supervise. 

The juxtaposition of their graceful, majestic selves and clown hints at their complex personalities and individuality. They become more than just a “wolf” they become Freya, Odin, Scandal, Kodie and Rumor. You fall in love with them as you hear their stories and you connect with them through the fence. Spending time with them is truly an honor and you leave even more committed to their preservation because it’s not just about fighting to save the “wolves” but wolves like Violet, Fenrir and Vivian Laurel of the Serenity Pack. They are truly ambassadors of their species. 

I had the pleasure of visiting again years later with my sister during one of their full moon fundraisers. What I hadn’t expected was the sheer explosion of popularity in the interim of my first full moon tour and my much more recent tour. What had been a small affair of perhaps a dozen people had exploded to be hundreds. The place was absolutely packed with people and cars. I was understandably a little disappointed by the large crowd. When one is expecting a quiet evening, it can be a bit shocking. 

However, it is important to adjust one’s expectations when confronted with reality and not allow such things to ruin your fun. There are times when the unexpected can truly make an experience extraordinary. This was not the case this time, but we got to see the wolves at a time of day when they are most active. In being mindful to be flexible and maneuverable with regards to our expectations, we were still able to have a wonderful evening. 

Some of them came really close to visit us, you could almost forget they’re wild animals

How can you visit wolves?

There are not many dedicated wolf only sanctuaries throughout the country, but there are plenty of zoos and other wildlife encounters that feature them. The biggest drawback to this option will of course be the lack of dedicated guides for the wolves that you see and of course seeing fewer of them. However, you can still get up close to these beautiful animals and learn about their species. Check the calendar to see if there are any dedicated programs for wolves specifically at your local zoo or other wildlife encounters. As with any activity involving animals, it is important to do research into the entity beforehand to ensure you aren’t unintentionally contributing to animal abuse. The Wolf Sanctuary is a well respected institution and known for its extraordinary care of the wolves.  

Completed: 2007

Miles from home: 8.2

Cost: Guided tour $25/Private tour $45 

Some suggestions for Wolf Sanctuaries throughout the United States: 

Apex Protection Project in California

Wolf Mountain Sanctuary California

Seacrest Wolf Preserve Florida

Wolf Creek Habitat Indiana

Predators of the Heart Washington

Howling Acres Wolf Spirit Arkansas

W.O.L.F. Sanctuary Colorado

Run With Wolves Maine

Endangered Wolf Center Missouri

Howling Woods Farm New Jersey

My Pack of Wolves Ohio 

Saint Frances Wolf Sanctuary Texas

“Canned” Vacations

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When I was studying abroad, I took advantage of the fact that I was nearby many of my Bucket List places, Germany, France, Ireland, Italy, Austria, all places I got to go, and places I didn’t get to go Morocco, Turkey, Budapest, England, Scandinavia and Spain. Being a poor college student, I didn’t have the money for expensive tours or guides. Plus being new to traveling, I had this weird idea that going with a tour or guide would be getting a “canned” experience rather than an “authentic”, “genuine” encounter with the locale. 

I enjoyed exploring the city on foot, going down weird alley-ways, getting a little lost, speaking with locals, trying hole in the wall shops and restaurants, all on my own terms and my own timeline. That is how I ended up getting an invite to a hole in the wall club in the middle of Paris. It was doing that that I ended up spending an afternoon in Austria with a travel journalist writing about Mozart’s and Beethovan’s homes. It was how I ended up getting tickets to a sold out show for A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream after chasing a man dressed up in Shakespearean garb through the streets of Dublin. However, there were certainly things I missed, important sites I could have visited had I been with a guide to point them out to me. I went on a Trolley Tour of Salem and was reminded that the archaeological site is actually in the next town over. I would have missed the highlight of my Salem trip without the guide. 

Without a guide, I was free to explore the unknown

That isn’t to say that having freedom by not going on a guided trip to a given place is without its own merits. Not being beholden to staying with a group allowed me to decide how much time I really wanted to spend looking at the Mona Lisa (it’s really not that impressive, sorry). It also allowed me to be spontaneous with regards to what I wanted to look at. I distinctly remember asking someone if the Unicorn Tapestries were actually in Paris as I had never thought to see exactly where in France they were housed. Probably because I never thought I’d get to France; I went to Paris on a whim, so researching beforehand wasn’t something I had done. Needless to say I raced across the city to see them – after all, how could I not see my favorite animal? I remember sitting for almost an hour just looking at the intricate details of them, marveling at the craftsmanship and recalling the imagery and symbolism that has been woven into them. Could you imagine how you would feel, if you were on a tour and learned something that was on your list was in the same place only to be told “sorry the tour doesn’t include that”? I would have spent years in regret and I am glad that I had that sort of freedom. 

It is nice to not have to be beholden to a clock of having to be somewhere at a certain time. The world is your oyster! For some people the idea of having to constantly watch the clock is stressful and stifling. It takes a mental load to worry about a tour time and it can rob you of those moments because instead of fully taking something in, you’re trying to calculate how much time you have until the appointed hour. 

However, there is a place for the “canned” vacation. First, let us not fool ourselves if you spent time looking at the online lists of must do’s and see’s, or find yourself clinging to a guidebook, you are on a canned vacation. Oh it’s a loose one to be certain, but the main criticism is that “you’re just doing the tourist crap”. Well, first, duh I am a tourist and I didn’t come all this way to see a bunch of random crap I can see back home. Another criticism is that you aren’t engaging with the people. I have yet to meet a guide that wasn’t of the people. I usually try to spend time talking and engaging with the guides which was just as enjoyable as simply stopping and trying to talk with the locals. Bonus, the guides at least will be polite to you, whereas the locals are sometimes less than friendly, especially in the places with too much tourism. The guides usually contain knowledge not in a guidebook or online review. I found the experience to be incredibly authentic because of what I put into it and did not find my experience was less for using a guide. 

Our wonderful guide in Columbia

When booking a tour through the cruise line, I was paying for the convenience of not having to book a tour myself ensuring they were safe, reputable and would ensure returning to the ship on time. I could have booked other tours that were perhaps a bit more intimate, but I didn’t find that booking tours independently saved me money or gave me a more personalized experience than through the ship. So regardless of whether the tour was through the ship or something you booked yourself, you are getting a similar experience. 

I said earlier in this post that having a tour booked can be stressful because of having to watch the clock. For me, I found it to be less stressful, specifically on the cruise line. The reason being is that all I had to do was show up in the morning or afternoon at the appointed hour, usually after breakfast and then everything else was taken care of. I didn’t need to worry about the logistics of traveling to and from the site or getting tickets to the facility. All I needed to do was sit back, relax and enjoy myself. It was relaxing getting on board and having everything already figured out, all the decisions were made and I didn’t have to make any major decisions during my trip.

Without a tour guide I would have completely missed the highlight of my Salem trip!

Decision fatigue is a real thing and to be free of it for a week or two was amazing. In comparison to my non-canned trips, my canned trips were more relaxing. That isn’t to say that non-canned trips were less fun or enjoyable, just that they were more stressful and less rejuvenating. I still worried about the times attractions were opened, when tours were going, and navigating public transit schedules. At times, I found myself watching the clock more on my non-canned adventures than my canned ones. 

At the end of the day, I simply did not find that much difference in terms of what I could get out of a “canned” vacation vs. one that wasn’t “canned”. I enjoyed both approaches to traveling. Both give a quality experience and both carry a risk of missing out on something. Without a guide or someone to show me where to go, I may leave a place before realizing I could have checked off something on my list. However, there is also a chance of being “teethered” to a tour group where one can’t be spontaneous. There is a greater sense of adventure by being on your own and challenging yourself to navigate a new place without much help, bonus points for a country where you don’t speak the language and relying on public transit, like my trip to Paris. One of my favorite memories is getting lost in Paris’ red light district. There’s a lot of personal growth to having this experience because you learn just how independent and self-reliant you can be as you creatively solve the problems that naturally arise from this approach. 

Nothing like getting off at the wrong plaza!

With a tour, it is less stressful, but it isn’t quite as exciting as it lacks the possibilities of what might be. It is very rare to have impromptu misadventures on a canned vacation. At times it is frustrating to find yourself chained to a group. Although truthfully, there’s really nothing to stop you from breaking away from your tour and going it alone. I once was on a tour with my study abroad group when suddenly one of the girls, Jewel, breaks away from our group, hops on the back of a motorcycle and drives off into the night with nary a word of explanation. We shouted after her, but to no avail. She didn’t return to our hotel room until the next morning. As it turns out, she saw an old friend and decided to ditch us and see where the night would take her. I certainly applaud her sense of adventure! Though, I probably would have at least said something to the rest of the group rather than cause worry. So you see, you aren’t in a jail, you can leave the “canned” vacation any time you want. It may incur additional expenses and you may “miss out” on something, but you’re not actually beholden to the group. As Jewel demonstrated, they can’t stop you, just hop on that motorcycle and go!

Stay Local: Buy Local

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There is a movement of staying local and buying local. The idea is based on a simple economic principle that if you want to have a strong local community you need to keep your money in that community. If I go and buy a hand thrown piece of pottery from the local gallery and pay $30 bucks for it, that is $5 dollars to the owner of the gallery and $25 to a local artist. That they can then take to the local grocery story and if they buy locally grown produce that’s $30 to a local farmer who can then go and buy their goods at the gallery or perhaps purchase a service I’m offering. Not to mention that each time that money is spent, there is a small tax paid to the local and state government. Taxes which are spent on public goods that you use everyday. When money stays local it benefits the whole community which benefits you. 

Now if I go onto etsy and order the same mug for $30, well first less money to the artist because $5 for the shipping and handling, plus the cost of the box and shipping materials, then etsy gets its cut and so we’ll say $20 goes to the artist. Well now that $20 is in his community and he’s paying his local farmers for their local produce, etc. So you’ve benefited their community and not yours. So if given the choice between spending $30 for a locally produced item or $30 on an item not from here, I’m going to choose my local producer. 

The same can be said of travel. There is a reason why so much is invested in tourism. Tourism is a huge industry that attracts tons of outside money into your local community. States spend thousands on advertising to people not living nearby to come to where you live.? I remember the story my 8th grade history teacher told of some tourists that had come to my area. He asked them semi-perplexed “why would you come here?” They said their choice for their family was between Amish Country and Disney World. Amish Country won out. My whole class was flabbergasted, who one earth would want to come here of all places? The answer is a lot of people. No matter where you live, there are people who are paying lots of money to go there or at least to a place nearby. They are bringing a lot of money into your local area and not putting it into their local economy. 

Which begs the question if people are  paying lots of money to come to your area and are supporting local businesses while doing it, shouldn’t you check it out too? After all, they’re paying a lot of money to come there, maybe your town isn’t as boring as you think. Shouldn’t you consider keeping your money in the local community? I’ve already outlined why keeping your money in your local area is so important. Your own leaders wouldn’t spend so much money trying to get more money into the economy if it wasn’t important. 

One other thing to consider is that by encouraging locals to enjoy these venues and events it keeps a certain amount of leverage with the tourism industry. I’ve written about overtourism. Often calls to curb tourism by locals fall upon deaf ears as the response by politicians is typically something about the local community being reliant upon these tourists. However, if the local population are the ones going to these areas then they can say “actually, we’re huge supporters so we don’t need these tourists”.  

This is just one of the many reasons I choose to travel less. I am keeping my community strong all while living richly. It turns out being a budget bucket lister is good for my wallet and my neighbor’s. 

Escape Room

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The clock was ticking and every moment counted down to either our escape or doom. Even if we managed to beat one clock, another was also ticking, an uncertain one because just as quickly as we were solving the puzzles, so was the other just through the bars. If we could just solve the puzzle we would win! Her fingers trembled with excitement as realization struck and my sister’s friend exclaimed “I got it!” We were off! But so was the other team. Knowledge that they were as close as we were semi-scattered our members for a brief second before order could be restored, but it was the delay that would cost us. As we tried to get our final pieces in place, we heard their yells of elation. We were too late, by mere seconds. We did complete the puzzle, we were not about to simply throw in the towel completely, but the sting of defeat was still there. We looked over at the other team, well played sirs and madams, well played. 

My team after our loss.

In 2007, the first escape room was launched by Takao Kato in Kyoto Japan. A fan of manga and in the publishing business, he told the Japan Times “I wondered why interesting things didn’t happen in my life, like they did in books. I thought I could create my own adventure, a story, and then invite people to be a part of it. The world certainly accepted such an invitation as the concept of “escape rooms” swept nation after nation. Ironically bringing everything full circle as it can trace its roots back through “escape the room” video games, adventure game shows on television, which spawned from D’n’D where you can be the protagonist of your own adventure, which is exactly the appeal. 

For me my love of puzzle adventure comes from the now classic video game of Myst. My siblings and I spent hours going through the game, sharing notes and progress, taking turns trying to solve the puzzles. I still enjoy puzzle games on the computer, but an escape room allows you to really feel and experience the story in a different way because of course you’re in the actual environment interacting with the physical objects. I’m not necessarily a fan of having a timer, since it means I can’t be as reflective as I can be in the video game. I happen to enjoy just exploring an environment, taking in the physical artifacts of a civilization as a semi-anthropologist. Do I care that the civilization doesn’t actually exist and is only a game? No, but I shalln’t digress too much. However, most escape rooms aren’t set in exotic alien civilizations so I needn’t worry about having my contemplations being overly rushed. 

Escape rooms allow you to be “in” the story, solve the crime, stop the villain, rescue the princess and all do it before needing to be home for supper. For a brief time, the outside world stops existing and you can live out the fantasy of being the hero. They are often done in small groups which means you can bring your friends along for the ride. Some you can even pit your friends against each other as I did. Others are purely cooperative. It’s a chance to get away from screens and enjoy something different. Some of the puzzles are easy, others quite fiendish and you can select the level of difficulty based on where you want to go . There are leaderboards in some places where the fastest teams to complete a given puzzle are showcased. 

For me, I joined my sister and her group of friends for a dueling escape room. The theme was the old west where a group of convicts were trying to escape the jail. We started off “tied up” with ropes that we had to “undo” by way of a rope maze and then we were off. Trying to open safes, collect clues, decipher scripts and even throw balls to try and knock down clues that were trapped on the other side of the bars. Each side had to solve puzzles, racing each other to the finish. At one point we were forced to work together despite the competitive nature of both teams. Neither team made use of the control room for hints instead spying to steal from one another. 

The showdown room….

Either way, completing it was a fun mental exercise of trying to think fast under pressure, learning how to quickly work together as a team and allowing different people to play up their strengths. I was not the person to throw the balls at the cards to knock the clues down so we could see. However, I’m a natural leader so there were times when I jumped in to give direction to help divide up the tasks. Nothing quite like being thrown in the middle of an adventure with a new group of people that you have to learn to work with quickly! 

So if you think you might want to join your friends for a semi-real life mystery adventure, an escape room may be for you. 

How can you complete your own escape room?

The cool thing about escape rooms is they come in many shapes and sizes. You can even order smaller versions online to do at your home which I did in the middle of the pandemic. It’s not quite as immersive as an actual room, but it was still quite enjoyable. If you want something that is in between an escape room and a boxed version, you could do as my sister’s friend Joanne does and make your own puzzle game for your friends. 

My sister and her team solving the mystery of who broke into the backerey!

Every few months, she invites a group over to her home and introduces them to a mystery that has to be solved or a race that has to be completed. She hides clues around the house along with various puzzles that we have to use those clues to solve. We usually compete in teams for prizes, but we always have a good time working together and unveiling the answers. One doesn’t need a large room, filled with stuff to create an escape room or a lot of money to make one. It can be just as fun or more so to create it for your friends and have them create one for you. Take turns, start a yearly tradition of hosting a party. Bucket list experiences are all well and good, but cultivating close personal friendships through shared activities that everyone can enjoy is even better! 

Completed: 2019

Miles from home: 33 

Cost: $125 for 8 people (about $16 per person) / For an at home party, you will most likely spend about $50 – $100 on various materials for a group of 12 – 16 people.

Things that should not be on your list

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I should hope that in your explorations of my various posts that it is fairly clear that I wholeheartedly and enthusiastically encourage you to add things that are authentic to you to your list with almost no limitations. If for you a bucket list item is finally baking the perfect cake, then by all means put it on your list. If saving up money to follow your favorite band across the country on tour – go for it!

However, there are some things that I strongly discourage and believe should not grace anyone’s bucket list. Namely items that are harmful or exploitative. Now, I won’t get down too deeply into the various nuances of exploitation and how almost everything we do is exploiting someone in someway, so there may be times when it seems like we’re splitting hairs. However, there are some activities that are quite clearly harmful to engage in. 

Take the ever popular animal encounters. Many of them are quite fine and benefit both the animal and the people. But not every animal encounter is good, some are down right evil. Take baby tiger encounters, if someone is able to make a business entirely out of baby animal interactions you can almost be certain that the animals are being harmed. I would no sooner go to a puppy mill and pay them to interact with their puppies, but that is essentially what you would be doing. After all, animals don’t stay small and cute for long. Where are these babies coming from? How do they keep a continuous supply of baby animals? Where do they go when they grow up? Babies that are being constantly handled by humans are certainly not going back into the wild nor are they probably going to zoos.

It is important to consider if these animals are bred for human interaction, what sort of enclosure do they have, does the facility have any sort of accreditation such as the The Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA) the gold standard for the industry, are there limits to group size, is it an animal led interaction and how likely is it that this is an animal that is being exploited? Some animals are much more likely to be part of a larger system of exploitation such as elephants. As much as I would love to interact with an elephant, unless it’s an encounter at a zoo or other facility with a fairly stringent accreditation, I won’t be participating in it. There are many stories coming out of Asia where even at places “meant” to help the elephants are actually places where they are being exploited and harmed.

Dolphin Encounter

When I was in Bermuda and I had the opportunity to do a dolphin encounter. Before even signing up for it, I started to do research into whether this was an ethical thing for me to do as I had read that many dolphin encounters in the Caribbean were harmful to the dolphins. I was pleased to see they had several accreditations and even reached out to one of my friends who worked at a zoo to see what she thought. She affirmed in her own investigation the organization seemed above board. With the best of intentions, I signed up for the encounter. 

My caution was rewarded because when I went they kept the groups of visitors small and it was a dolphin led encounter. This meant that they opened the doors whichever dolphin showed up was the dolphin we would work with. The dolphins got to decide on the limits for themselves and make the decision to come or go. Honestly even the “enclosure” they were in, was really a net in the open water. The entire pod could have left at any time with a simple jump out to freedom. It was as effective at keeping them in as a one foot fence might be at keeping your dog in your yard. I am quite happy to recommend the encounter to people as positive for both people and dolphins. I did my research and had an amazing experience. I also don’t have to live with the guilt and even shame of having done something to harm these beautiful creatures that I adore because I took time to reflect first. The same could not have been said had I given into temptation and gone to cuddle the baby tigers. 

Another common area for harm is the environment though this one is a bit fuzzy. Still, I encourage you to do your research and see if what you’re about to embark on is going to be drastically harmful. Releasing items up into the sky is a decided red flag as what goes up must come down. Balloons kill thousands of animals every year because of balloon releases. Would you really kill an animal for a few hours of fun? (We’ll table the hunting debate for now, I’m not referencing hunting.) When I decided to engage in a lantern fest, part of what I was paying for in my ticket price was for the clean up after the event. The lantern was 90% biodegradable and they had a significant rate of lantern recovery of between 85 – 95%. They had an agreement with the local land management that if lanterns were recovered after the event they would donate a certain amount of money to conservation of the land per lantern recovered. It meant that I was confident in my engagement with the activity as something that was minimally harmful to the local environment. Once again, it’s about doing your research and figuring out where you draw the line. For some people, releasing anything into the air is too harmful and risky to be worth it. For some people, my choice to go on a cruise is too much. 

Lantern Fest

This post should not be read as some sort of permission to name and shame. It’s to make you really consider the potential consequences of your actions and to be willing to re-assess past decisions in light of new information. Take the ever popular, simple and seemingly harmless practice of rock stacking. Stacking rocks has been made so popular by social media, the national park service has started to ask people to knock them down as the practice is becoming increasingly harmful to the environment. It turns out, the small animals that need those rocks are the bedrock of the entire ecosystem and we were destroying them with our little instagram pictures. Apparently, If we want the wolves to stick around, we need to leave those rocks be. Things we would never think of as harmful can be devastating. 

Unfortunately, the exploitation of people is probably the most fuzzy area, even though it seems like it should be easiest. This is mostly because there is so much exploitation of people in the tourism industry it is almost impossible not to end up in its clutches. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, do your research. Cruises are notorious for their poor treatment of the crew. Certain cruise lines are the typical offenders whereas others have pretty good reputations. Some hotels hold people in semi-domestic slavery. Others may be hubs of sex trafficking. I won’t publish a list here because these things can change overtime with changes in management and leadership. I certainly don’t want people coming to me later saying that I said a certain line was okay only to find out five years later it’s now one of the worst offenders. 

Going on a mission or service trip may seem like the least exploitive thing you can do, but it can actually be one of the worst things you can do. There are stories of people going to orphanages to give toys that the children never see, or shoes the children will never get to wear. Essentially, saving the “poor orphans” is the thing the company is selling and if there aren’t “poor orphans” they lose their product. They can’t be saved if they’re already living in a beautiful facility provided with toys, food and clothing? 

Handing out food in Haiti

If you go to build houses, you can be assured that there was a group of local professionals who had to come in after you to fix all your mistakes just so you could feel good about what you were doing. There are other tales of churches being painted multiple times in the same summer by various youth groups robbing the locals of a job and money. These weren’t service trips, these were tourism experiences disguised as service. This isn’t to say every mission trip was like that and that by going you are robbing locals of business and self-sufficiency. However, it’s a good idea to question what you’re being asked to do. Are you doing something that is within your expertise or skillset or something you’d call a professional to do? If it’s a company that is consistently sending people to the same place, then why is it in such dire straits all the time? 

Finally, things that go against your ethics and morals should never be on your list. Do your research and use your brain to ask the questions. As you learn more, the questions will begin to seem more and more obvious to ask. Additionally, if you engage in something and then later discover that you did participate in something that goes against your morals and ethics, it may be best to simply leave it off the “list”. This isn’t to hide it or out of a sense of shame. It is so the inclusion of it doesn’t encourage others to do it. For example, I did ride an elephant as a child long before the internet was widely available and the concerns for the elephants had reached my parents. All I knew was that I loved elephants and I got to ride one. However, you won’t see it on my list and other than this brief aside, I don’t think I will publish it elsewhere. This is to discourage elephant rides as I’m not celebrating it as a bucket list item that I have done. When we leave those sorts of things on our list, it is a celebration of that experience and it isn’t an experience worthy of celebration. 

Not everyone’s morals and ethics will align. I already mentioned hunting, lantern releases and cruises. Some people may find consumption of any animal or animal product to be abhorrent. There are activist throwing soup at art because they feel the environmental impact of the museums is too much and so seeing the Mona Lisa probably isn’t something they’d have on their list. For me, cuddling a baby tiger isn’t something I’ll probably ever do because I cannot think of an ethical way to do it. This is a personal decision that you have to make and live with, but I will encourage you to continue to learn about the ethical practices of a given activity. One more reason for staying closer to home, it’s a bit easier for you to find out what’s actually going on. 

30-Day Meditation Challenge 

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Some of my bucket list items come from the desire for self-improvement. I have written about how certain things that grace the typical bucket list are representative of some higher value like health. Learning to meditate comes out of that value system. I do want to be a healthy individual physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had hoped that learning would help me achieve this continuous goal. 

Meditation isn’t something I had been able to do before this challenge. In the movies, they’re always talking about “clearing your mind”. I don’t know about any of you, but my mind is never quiet. It’s always going, thinking of new things, making new connections, analyzing, processing, creating and making up an entire new worlds or languages. I often have trouble sleeping not because I’m up worrying about anything. No, I have a vivid and active imagination. I’ll space out and be dreaming up a whole creative story without even really being conscious of it. So being able to “clear” my mind is almost impossible.

I tried a meditation app which told me to picture my mind as a horse that I’m gently lassoing and making the rope shorter and shorter in order to learn the skill of clearing my mind. It would have me try to build up the time of having a clear mind with short bursts and to not worry if the thoughts drift in. It didn’t really work. My mind does not shut up, like ever. I would be just taking in the sound of a fan and suddenly, I’m thinking about the wind and thunderstorms and writing a poem about a gothic fairy prince stealing children like in the German poem Erlkoenig. I am very easily distracted. 

The word meditation comes from a latin word meaning “to ponder” but the practice of meditation is far older than even the latin language itself going back perhaps 150,000 or even 200,000 years. There are some theories that propose that the very act of “fire-gazing” meditation caused key changes in the brains of our ancestors to give rise to humans meaning that meditation may be older than the human species itself. There is a lot of evidence to suggest a long history of meditative states being used in rituals and shamanic practices. The earliest written records of the practice are found in the Hindu Vedas about 1500 BCE, but It isn’t as many may think strictly an Eastern practice. Records of meditative practices exist in the records of ancient Greeks, the Jewish Torah, druidry practices of the pagans spanning Ireland, France and Spain and even the Christian tradition. However, it got its more secular roots in the late 70’s from Kabat-Zinn when he founded the Stress Reduction Clinic which helped spawn the mindfulness movement in psychology. 

Going into the second summer of the pandemic, I found myself with a little more time at work than usual, in that I actually could take my 30 minute lunch break instead of shoving food in my mouth at my desk for about five minutes in between clients and writing my notes. We were also one of the only agencies not working from home because the nature of my job required me to work directly with people. This meant the common areas of our office building were sitting empty. 

Considering we were entering the second year of the pandemic and there didn’t seem to be a real end in sight to the ongoing upheaval as the affect shocks continued to roll their way through our society, it seemed that it was the opportune time to expand my repertoire of stress management. So I decided to spend a month meditating on my lunch break. I wasn’t doing it as part of a social media craze or anything, I just wanted to try meditation for 30 days and see whether my overall stress was reduced. I once heard a habit takes about 30 days, it actually is closer to 66 days. 

I went to one of the common rooms which was usually vacant away from any distractions or noise and pulled up youtube on my phone. A quick search yielded a 30 day meditation for beginners with most of the videos lasting about 20 minutes. I put myself in a comfortable position on the floor, closed my eyes and hit play. A soothing male voice then introduced me to the world of meditation. It was unlike any meditation I had ever tried before. 

Instead of telling me to clear my mind, my guide invited me to take in all the different sounds to let them flow into my mind and just notice the things around me. Instead of trying to “clear my mind” and ignore things, I was told to become aware of my surroundings. It was the first successful meditation I had ever tried and it was enjoyable. The previous times even a 10 minute habit a day quickly became a dreaded chore. Listen, if your “relaxation” technique becomes a dreaded chore, you’re not relaxing. He also had me try things like walking meditation, which also jived with me. I am someone who fidgets a lot and has trouble sitting still so a walking meditation was perfect for those days that I just needed to move. Ironically by not fighting all the inputs my brain was much quieter than when I was trying to not focus on the inputs and just exist. 

After 30 days, I don’t know that I found my overall stress was that much reduced, but I did have another tool in my belt for handling stress. There are times when I do take a few moments to get a cup of tea and meditate on the tea itself. The principles that I learned and the skill that I began to develop are things I use and have used in my own social work practice. It gave me a better understanding of meditation and a different way of communicating its principles to clients. I actually really enjoyed my daily meditation, so much that even afterwards I continued to visit his videos and listen to his guided mediations. Sadly, work did pick up again and I wasn’t able to keep up with the new lunch time habit. I did not find a way to incorporate it consistently at home. 

Overall, it was a good experience and I do recommend you try it. You may find, like me, that the usual guided meditations don’t work for you. Fear not! You may be neuro-atypical and a

different approach is needed to achieve the same effect. Remember there are many forms of mediation that have been developed over the millenia, it isn’t a one size fits all. Sitting cross legged on the floor breathing deep and clearing your mind is one form. Talking a meditative walk may be more effective for you. It isn’t about the how, more developing the skill of being able to relax and allow the world to happen around you without the need to change it. 

How can you learn to meditate?

It’s easy! There are many aps and youtube channels which take you through various kinds and methods of meditation. The key is finding one that resonates with you. Maybe you find one voice soothing or another irritating (pick the soothing voice), maybe telling you to “notice” things starts your brain racing and you need a different sort of strategy. Experiment and try it. It’s a crazy world and it seems that we are continuing to move from one global crisis to the next. While it won’t fix the crisis, meditation can help give you the extra edge to navigate your way through it successfully. 

I watched a 30 Day Meditation Challenge from One Mind Dharma on Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@oneminddharma/playlists

Completed: 2021

Miles from home: Can be completed anywhere

Cost: $0-10 depending on the app you use