Tales from Abroad: Stonehenge

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I am, as of this writing, recently returned from a trip to Merry Ol’ England after finding myself with the unexpected invitation to join a family friend, Shelia, at her long term rental in the beautiful Penzance area of Cornwall. The previously unaffordable trip of plane tickets, lodging, food and sightseeing, suddenly became much more affordable with her willingness to host myself and my mom for over a week. Naturally, I did not let such an opportunity slip through my fingers as England was home to one of my top Bucket List items, Stonehenge.

Now, my non-American readers may be a bit perplexed at my excitement of going to Penzance when Stonehenge is a good four hours away. You may very well think, it’s so far, you couldn’t possibly add that on to your trip! First, dear reader, you underestimate the American enthusiasm for driving. After all, the road trip is a quintessential American experience! Besides lacking any sort of reasonable public transit, driving is just what we do and if you’re like me who drives for a living (at the time of this writing) spending several hours in the car is nothing. I had a co-worker who regularly thought nothing of driving 8 hours every other weekend up to New England to help take care of her ailing mother. Americans love driving. 

Second, given that in order to have the opportunity to see Stonehenge again I would need to take another 6 hour flight after needing to take up an additional 2 to 3 hours just to get onto the flight after arriving at the airport after a 2 hour drive to the airport, and another 2 hours driving from London to Stonehenge, I think I can afford the day trip back and forth when considering the time and money it would cost to do at a later date. It was this cost analysis that really tipped the scales in favor of renting a car and visiting this site. As I am always reminding you, dear reader, that when one travels one ought to maximize the opportunity in order to get the most bang for your buck. We are, as much as it pains us all to admit, on a budget and when’s the next time we’re gonna be able to hop a plane to England from America? Exactly. 

After determining that in addition to Stonehenge there were sites scattered about Cornwall that were simply too inconvenient to get to via bus (why they don’t go to the neolithic sites like the Merry Maidens or the Cuny Village is beyond me) and given that taking multiple taxis in a day would prove to be quite expensive to do multiple trips to various places around Cornwall in one day, renting a car ended for the week ended up being the optimal solution of almost $175 in savings when I broke down the costs. Plus, I didn’t have to wait around for rides or worry about meeting my taxi driver at a designated pre-booked time. Once again, my cost benefit analysis kicked in and it tipped it in favor of car rental as much as I prefer relying on public transit.

Now, the best laid plans of mice and men will go astray. In this case, the hiccup I encountered was my phone’s gps. Despite paying for the ability to roam and setting it up ahead of time, when I arrived in England my phone refused to connect and kept telling me that I needed to turn on international data. I would go into the phone settings to see that it was indeed turned on and got a text message from my provider stating that it was turned on. We tried several different work-arounds suggested by the internet once I got to my friend’s place and was able to connect to her internet but nothing worked. Luckily, Sheila allowed us to use her phone for the day to get around. With the crisis adverted, we set out in the wee hours of the morning to make it for our 10 am admission time. 

I had downloaded music to my phone for us to jam to and decided to put my newfound mastery of the British road system to the test. I had (smartly in my estimation) scheduled Stonehenge for the middle of the week in order to give me two full days of test driving on the opposite side of the road in more rural areas before trying to go to more populated and congested places. I actually took to it quite well and credit my dyslexia for being an advantage as I really could hardly tell the difference. I just kept the steering wheel in the middle and followed the visuals provided by the gps rather than following her left or right turns since I can’t do that anyways. So, cross off driving on the opposite side of the road as a bonus!

The way up to Stonehenge was relatively uneventful and I got to really take in the rolling English countryside. The morning started out with classic English weather of rain. However, by the time we reached our destination the rain had cleared leaving a mostly overcast sky that threatened sunshine. 

Now to say that I was excited to see this legendary place, is bit of an understatement. Of all the monuments and sights in this world, Stonehenge is without a doubt one of my top destinations and probably one of the first places I ever truly longed to visit. I was fascinated by the ancient world of Great Britain and Ireland, obsessed with learning about them even though I could (when I was younger) find very little about it. It was this blank hole of questions that burned into my mind, what were they like, why did they build this, how did they build it, what spiritual meaning did it have, how did it connect to other sites and on and on these questions plagued me. I loved the theories, no matter how crazy or outlandish they were. And what I love is that we’re still uncovering things about it, only just last year they did yet another study of the stones and discovered that they come from all over indicating that this may have been a unifying project to unite the island.How does that fit with other archaeological evidence for the rest of Britain? There’s just so much we don’t know. 

Stonehenge is over 5,000 years old and is the largest neolithic monument in Britain. There is evidence of important structures and even other henges prior to the building of Stonehenge in the general area marking it as an important or prominent site in the stone age. Some of those sites are from 8000 BC You may be forgiven dear reader for thinking it’s just a stone circle, as impressive as that may be; it actually sits upon an earther work with a marked avenue leading up to it. A “heel stone’ marks the alignment with the summer solstice. This avenue and stone is the reason we can say it aligns with solstice and not some other random astrological event. It is also not just one stone circle but two concentric circles and other stone pieces to create a masterpiece of that era.

I am standing by the “heel stone” which marks the line of the summer solstice

It took over 1,500 years to complete in four different stages. The first stage was in 3100 BC, the second stage occurred in 2500 BC; the third took place 150 years later and the final stage occurred in 1,500 BC. This is when the stones were rearranged into their iconic horseshoe shape. There were about 60 stones originally, but sadly many are broken or even missing today.  Despite the presence of human remains, it is not believed to have been a burial site but that these remains were utilized in religious ritual. Although if you read other people’s opinions they’ll tell you that it was a burial site. See? So much mystery!

It was being armed with this knowledge (and much more, but I shalln’t bore you with all the details), that I practically squealed in sheer anticipation more than once as we approached. I was finally actually there, instead of seeing it on a screen or in a book. There was equal parts excitement and awe as we drew closer. The thing about the site is it is actually located in an almost surreal location because one expects that it would be in an area relatively built up. However, it is just out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by sheep and farmer’s fields. Yet, it fits exactly in the landscape that one finds it in because thousands of years ago the builders may have had sheep. For all we know sheep have been hanging out near those stones this entire time.

I loved being able to closely study the stones, to see how they may have been joined together by the knobs at the top of some of them and to picture how it may have once been so many years ago. I marveled at the craftsmanship that must have taken to hew rock into rough formations of giant blocks and to lift them up atop each other. 

What was particularly nice was that I went at the slower time of the year for England, choosing to go right before spring at the end of winter, so it was relatively uncrowded. I didn’t have to fight to look at it and I was even able to snag pictures without people in them. Most pictures contained very few people. This also meant that I was able to really focus on what I was seeing without having to worry about what everyone else was doing around me. After my first circle around the stones snapping lots of pictures, I put my phone away and made another loop so that I would be able to just enjoy the place taking in the sight and locking it in my memory. Too often we are so busy “documenting” our experiences we forget to actually experience them. I was determined to not make that mistake. 

After spending nearly two hours at Stonehenge, we journeyed back on the bus to the visitor center for a quick bite to eat before departing. There was a reconstructed Stoneage village that I took a brief detour in. But having been in the ancient village of Carn Euny the day before (another post on that later), I didn’t spend very long. They also had a small museum of the artefacts found in and around Stonehenge which is very informative if you haven’t spent a lot of time studying the site. 

How to visit Stonehenge (and other suggested sites): 

I’ll not insult you with instructions on how to get to England. However, it is important to know Stonehenge is located about 2 hours south of London making it a fairly easy trip for most people who are intended to tour the country. It is a far less easy trip if you’re flying into Scotland. My American readers may be forgiven for underestimating the size of Great Britain as it is about a 7 hour drive between the two and while we do love driving that is a bit of a haul even for us unless it’s part of an entire road trip especially since most of us only have two weeks of vacation a year.  

However upon arrival, you have two options to see the actual site. Option 1: Is paying the admission ticket (and parking) to Stonehenge which grants you access to the bus transfer over, the reconstructed village and museum. The main advantages to this option is the bus transfer if you’re with someone with mobility issues and the ability to walk around the entire site to see it from all angles.

Option 2: Is parking a little away from the site and accessing the footpath which traverses right next to the walkway in front of Stonehenge. It does require a bit of a hike to get from where you can park the car and Stonehenge. The path isn’t well maintained, in part because while the English have the right to roam on the ancient footpaths, the right to roam doesn’t necessarily convey the promise that someone will be maintaining those footpaths. It also only allows you to really see the front, but it is the best and most famous vantage point. If you go during the peak season you’ll probably be disappointed by the sheer number of people blocking your view and any pictures you’ll want to take. If you go during the non peak season you will probably be able to get a decent view and maybe a few pictures with only a few people milling around in the background. It honestly depends on your priorities. 

My wonderful and amazing mum!

For me, I was traveling with my mom, who doesn’t have the best health and needed the extra support with mobility. I also wanted to be able to get as close as I was permitted. There was an option to get there at 8 am, pay a lot of extra money and be able to go into the circle at sunrise, but I would have needed to leave by like 3:30 am, wake up at like 2:30 am which would have meant no sleep for me and I didn’t want to be driving that long on no sleep as driving without sleep is akin to driving drunk. I wanted to see Stonehenge, not die in a car accident on the way there. Remember we want to check off our bucket list, not hurry the bucket along. 

Now, you may be thinking that there is absolutely no way that I could possibly write a list of “good enoughs” when comparing them to Stonehenge, but it entirely depends on you as an individual. For me, Stonehenge has been a top priority since childhood, so when given the opportunity I jumped on it. However, there are many Neolithic sites and Neolithic stone circles scattered not only across Britain and Europe but also throughout the world and you may be closer to them than you think. Granted there aren’t many that are quite as old as Stonehenge but there are many that are within the 3,000 – 1,000 range. 

If you don’t care much about the size of the stone circles, Britain, Ireland, and Brittany (France) has over 1,300 circles. Many are quite impressive in their own way. They are also less visited and often allow you to be able to go right up to them without needing to pay for tickets or have them roped off, meaning you don’t have to fight with crowds, you can actually touch them and you can enjoy them more as they were intended, as places of spiritual connection, celebration and reflection.

The Merry Maidens of Cornwall!

Stone circles aren’t just found in Europe. There are stone circles in Australia which are sacred to the Aboriginal peoples like the stone arrangements in Victoria at Carisbrook. You may also be surprised to find out that Japan has stone circles from the late Jomon period located in the northern region. Like Stonehenge the Japanese Stone circles contain an inner and outer ring which is aligned with solstices. Even the states has its own stone circle in Wyoming called the Medicine wheel. There are other less famous circles hidden in Nebraska’s Sandhills and Bluemont Virginia.

If you don’t really care what formation a neolithic site takes, then the world is truly your oyster because scattered throughout the globe are sites from ancient pre-civilization peoples. Ohio is famous for its Great Snake Mound as well as the Newark Earthworks. White Sands New Mexico has footprints from over 20,000 years ago – take that Stonehenge! Colorado is home to the Cliff Palace located in Mesa Verde National Park. New Mexico has its own cliff dwellings as well as Aztec ruins. The small island of Malta has Megalithic temples. Ireland is home to Newgrange. One of the oldest known megaliths in the world, Gobekli Tepe, can be found in Turkey. Spain is home to the Dolmen Menga. India has its own dolmens in Marayoor Munnar and I could go on. As you can see dear reader the world is awash with ancient monuments if you know where to look. You may very well be shocked at how close you are to one. So don’t feel the need to put Stonehenge on your list of “must-do’s” if you haven’t already developed an obsession like me, but if you happen to find yourself in England the it is decidedly something I would recommend you make part of your trip.

Cost: $50*

* give or take with the exchange rate, going during non-peak season for a “super saver” discount and pre-booking online for an additional 15% discount and then accounting for the gas to arrive there from the rental.

Miles from home: 2,000

Miles from rental: 200 miles

Cost accounting for plane tickets, etc.: $150*

* You may wonder how I arrived at this number, it’s simple, I took the total cost of my travel (planes, buses, taxis, etc.) and then counted up all the places I checked off my list as a result of traveling to England, divided the total cost of travel by the number of places I got to go to arrive at about $100 per place. As it turns out England has a lot of places and experiences that are on my list which is why it was a top place to visit. I made certain to check off that list to maximize the money I was spending. Using this basic formula is something you can do when deciding where to go and what to do in order to maximize your travels. Yes, the upfront overall cost is quite high, but when considering how many things you can do at once, it may be worth the cost.

Expand Your Horizons

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One thing that I love about my Bucket List is that I’m almost always trying new things. I recently read somewhere that research indicates that when we focus solely on the interests we’re already interested about we can miss out on entirely undiscovered aspects of ourselves. We may limit ourselves artificially without even knowing it. We may love art and never take up a paint brush or admire finely made clothes and never consider sewing. 

I never thought I’d enjoy a videogame but I certainly enjoy playing World of Warcraft (I’m a nerd deal with it). I wouldn’t have thought I’d like D’n’D but as it turns out, I do enjoy collaborative storytelling. I’ve discovered I draw the line at larping which was a surprise because I would have thought I’d love dressing up and acting out the story like D’n’D after enjoying D’n’D, going to the Renaissance Faire, acting, etc., but absolutely not for me. My sister is afraid of heights but I have discovered a thrill for them. I’ve learned I like hacking down trees and the physical labor of gardening. I don’t have the patience for a lot of crafts, but I love trying to hone my skills on the violin.

We don’t even need to do them well. We can do something poorly, in fact it’s almost better to do something poorly at first. After all, if we’re good at it then we think that we have a “knack” for it and then when we inevitably come up against a hurtle, we lack the skills we need to overcome. Sometimes just doing something for the sheer thrill of doing it is the best way to learn. When we have fun we aren’t focused so much on doing it perfectly as enjoying ourselves. We’re no longer motivated by outside rewards and people pushing us to do it. We are competing against ourselves, learning our way of doing things and probably becoming better than we would have if it just came easy.

I think it’s good to explore new things that we may have dismissed when we were younger or just missed out on. I remember thinking that learning to ride a horse wasn’t something I could do, but then I spoke with a work colleague who was taking lessons bi-weekly. Another work colleague had joined a small college’s orchestra after taking up the violin again post-high school which in part inspired me to take up the instrument once again. It’s caused me to re-evaluate what I can do as an adult and that maybe I didn’t actually miss out on opportunities or that I could return to things that I did as a child. As it turned out the only person keeping the doors shut to possibilities was me. 

I’ve also been pushed to try things I wouldn’t have previously thought to try like Eco-dying, water tubing, and zip-lining. I find myself saying “sure why not” when presented with new adventures and raising my hand to volunteer at public events because “why not”? It was that attitude that pushed me to rent a car in Britain. Before, I’m not sure that I would have had the confidence to drive on the opposite side of the road because I’m dyslexic and ADHD with poor spatial awareness and their roads are tiny. Now granted I didn’t just hop in a car and drive out of London. I knew I was going to be jet lagged, without sleep for over 24 hours (I don’t sleep in planes I have insomnia, it’s a whole thing) and so even driving under normal circumstances would not be advisable let alone in another country, on the opposite side of the road. However, I was undaunted by the idea in part because I am already in the habit of getting outside my comfort zone. 

And this is sort of a life hack. When we push ourselves, we feed our confidence and our feelings of competence. Which you may think, “wait, didn’t she just say that some of the stuff she was bad at? So how does it help her feel competent?” Yes! Here’s the awesome, amazing thing, it didn’t kill me! It didn’t end me and in fact, I embraced being bad at it at first because I’ve learned to enjoy the process of mastering something. It’s about learning and growing your inner self not just checking boxes and doing something for an afternoon before swiftly moving on to the next thing. I feel more competent to try things and look foolish even in front of others. I am conquering anxiety and loving it! 

Photo by Akil Mazumder on Pexels.com

We are wired for growth, not stagnation. We are meant to go, explore and conquer. Too many times we assume that we will stay the same person that we are today until we die, that we’ve already completed our growth. However, that’s not the case and studies show that its the people who don’t stop growing that live longer, healthier, happier lives. So what are you waiting for? Go out and try that new thing! 

A Macabre House of Oddities 

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You may be familiar, dear reader, with the traveling shows, carnivals and even houses of “oddities” of yesteryear. Those peddlers of myths and horror to fascinate and perhaps even, scandalize their audience. The most famous of which would have been P.T. Barnum’s, Barnum & Bailey Circus home to such attractions as Myrtle Corbin the Four Legged Woman (a woman born with two pelvises and four legs), Fedor Jeftichuw, The Dog Boy (an individual with hypertrichosis), Isaac Sprague, the Feejee mermaid (a small monkey glued to the tail of a large fish), and many more. Though the “freak show” has been around since the medieval era (and probably before) where crowds would gather to see humans with deformities, it wasn’t until the Victorian Era that they fully matured into a for profit exhibition. It was Barnum’s “Greatest Show on Earth” that truly brought it to the forefront of American culture. Though not all abnormalities were real and were actually made up for the purposes of the show. While freak shows and circuses were exploitative, some, like P. T. Barnum’s Circus did pay well and was (for the time) quite progressive in its treatment of its “human oddities”. 

Under brightly colored fabric and dazzling lights, crowds of spectators stared in amazement at the parade of “strangeness” before them. This was in a time before movies and colored photographs where one might see such things otherwise. It was certainly before commercial flight where far flung places such as Siam and Turkey were easily accessible. Certainly before the internet where one could fact check to see that, there was no missing Albanian prince who was raised in a harem and that woman he claims is 160 years old, is in fact only 80. I imagine quite a few left the shows believing they had seen something truly remarkable and perhaps even mythical. Is it any wonder this was the same era for seances and contacting the dead?

When perusing freak shows and museums of strangeness, visitors unfamiliar with taxidermy were easily fooled by the macabre art  of combining parts of different animals to support outlandish claims of myth come true such as the Jackalope. They may also display artifacts such as cursed monkey paws or pictures. As America expanded its colonization of the New World, so too did folk stories of the legendary creatures and strange happenings such as sasquatch or the vampires of New England. All adding to the idea that the world is truly far stranger than science can account for. 

For the most part it seems that over the years, such places have dwindled down. The circuses no longer showcase individuals with abnormalities for exploitation and with medical advancements many are able to be addressed to improve quality of life. Nor are abnormalities viewed with such suspicion and fear, but are increasingly welcomed as a part of life. Most of the oddities have been lost, destroyed or merely forgotten. Although there are a few small roadside attractions which have collected or perhaps re-created various pieces of history in the same spirit of P. T. Barnum who when accused of duping the public with hoaxes responded “I don’t believe in duping the public, but I believe in first attracting and then pleasing them.” So it made no difference to me if what I was looking at was truly the same pair of pants from Barnum’s giant or just a really large pair of pants. That’s part of the charm, it is a house of hoaxes. Perhaps, it is fun to pretend for a bit.

It was with this strange and controversial history in mind, that I went to the House of Oddities and Curious Goods in Elizabethtown, PA. This free museum was the beneficiary of a now closed down Gettysburg Dime Museum preserving Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy (from P. T. Barnum’s circus) and Edgar the Alligator Man. The house certainly captures the odd mixture of barely contained horror and ridiculousness. Like almost all museums of this nature there is little rhyme or reason to the displays as everything is haphazardly squeezed together. Everywhere one looks there is a new, at times stomach churning, oddity as music reminiscent of the circuses of old plays in the background. 

It was a small place of barely two rooms, though the second room was more of a back hallway. Most of it were obvious hoaxes that at one time fascinated the public and led the more easily duped into belief that monsters truly do exist. There were a few genuine gems such as the alligators who had been deformed due to improper disposal of chemicals in the neighboring bayous. Some of the items had small paper “plaques” with explanations of what they were, but most were left to my imagination. I found most of it to be a strange mix of delight and eerie. It was truly like stepping into the beginning of a horror movie. The only thing missing was the creepy person offering to tell your fortune or to sell you some cursed object. Actually, there was a small offer to purchase some cursed objects at the front, but I kindly passed and instead put a small donation in the box (after all, one should probably avoid the ire of the owner of so many “cursed and powerful objects”). 

The museum was less a museum of true oddities and more an experiential museum of what people may have seen in decades past and how they thought of seemingly unexplainable phenomena. It was intriguing to see how people interpreted scant pieces of data and extrapolated it out as evidence for monsters. I wondered how many people walk away from it truly believing in what they see or if, like me, they find it a fascinating piece of living history of a time and phenomena of when such shows were taken seriously. Of a time when the world still held a hint of magic before all the maps were filled in and science explained most of what we experience. Do not get me wrong, I like living in the era I live in now, but we don’t have a must mystery as we once did. Still, I can now tell people I have beheld one of the legendary Giants of Lovelock Cave and a Wolpertinger! 

Ready for your own adventure into the macabre, mysterious and strange?

Obviously a google search of your local area would be easiest. However, it can be a bit difficult to know precisely what to google “freak show”, “museum” “house of oddities”, “curiosity house”. You may need to play around with the precise terms of your search as they are not (to my knowledge) the most popular of attractions. I have stumbled upon the site https://www.roadsideamerica.com which may be a good source for not only such places as these but also other fun attractions not readily advertised. I was surprised by the number of curiosity houses listed nearby that I had never heard of before. 

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

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It is easy dear reader to compare ourselves to others especially since others splash their lives up on social media for all to see. Granted, they are curated versions of themselves, but it’s so difficult to remember that. We see people more successful, more well traveled, in the perfect job, having the perfect relationship, enjoying their children, wearing the latest fashion, doing whatever it is we wish we were doing. The algorithm is merciless in that it shows us that which we engage with and of course we are going to engage in the very things we long to have and thus the viscous cycle. 

In focusing so much on all the things we do not have, we lose sight of the things we have. We are lost in the mire of have not. Not only that but it robs us of the joy of the things we previously had. How often have we finally received that which we asked for, full of joy and wonder only for a few months later to be grumbling about it? 

When I received a rather cheap car that had been through a hailstorm and was close to 20 years old, I was incredibly grateful and amazed at my luck. After all, having not had a car before, having any car was a dream. However, it wasn’t long before the twinges of comparison started. It was by no means a looker in the car department with its dents, faded color and sagging cloth. It was clearly old and not only that but also dented from the hailstorm. When I was interning for an organization whose donors were from the higher echelons of society, I was embarrassed by it. Where was my joy? Where was my gratitude? And frankly, why did I care what they thought?

We pray for a house and then grumble that it doesn’t have a living room and a family room after visiting our aunt’s house. We pay for new floors and then wish we had paid for a vacation instead when we see our friend’s Instagram photos. We give our boyfriend the cold shoulder when Jill from accounting flashes her new engagement ring. We force a smile when our sister announces her second pregnancy and then go home to cry. Our best friend gets a promotion at work and we feel that we’ve fallen behind now. We scroll online and see a headline of a 26 year old retiring using the Fire Method or a list of 30 millionaires under 30 when our 40th birthday looms ever closer. We forget what we have when we start focusing on others. Their blessings become our lack. 

Do not get me wrong, ambition and wanting more can be great things. After all, it’s drive and ambition that has put a man on the moon, given us electricity, discovered antibiotics, written symphonies and painted masterpieces. Without it we wouldn’t have our modern world. Competition can also be a good thing when you have someone to push against and with, you both can end up going further than if you were by yourself. However, when that comparison of value and worth starts to creep in, we lose. Part of the problem is that there is always someone above us on the ladder of life and we tend to look ahead of us rather than behind us. 

When you move to a nicer neighborhood that you’ve dreamed of being able to be in, after a few months you start seeing the cracks in the sidewalk, the unkempt garden (sorry, neighbors I don’t use herbicides, it’s more a habitat for pollinators) and soon the next neighborhood looks much better. Each house is detached with a garage and clearly has plenty of space each surrounded by a nice neat fence. If you do manage to move then you start eyeing the one where everyone has a 3 to 5 door garage, the houses are more accurately described as mansions with private pools and there’s even a gate to keep out the riff raff. We are so prone to eye the next rung up to strive for what we do not have that we become burdened by ambition creating our own gilded cages of dissatisfaction and envy. 

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No matter how much we get, how far we go, how much we achieve, it will never be enough so long as we keep comparing ourselves to others because we can never win. The happiest people I know are the ones who live simply unburdened by things, pretenses and social status. They’re the ones who live in the woods or cultivate a small garden in the midst of their urban center. They snuggle cats and walk their dogs. They form genuine connections with others. 

Not only does comparison rob us of our joy, but also it robs us of shared joy with others and the connections those shared joys can form. Rather than celebrating those we care most about and instead those moments are like small thorns twisting in our hearts poisoning our spirit. It also poisons our relationships causing a rift to form as you turn away. You begin to question your value and what you bring to the relationship. Perhaps, they sense your distance and wonder at your less than enthusiastic response to their news. They may attribute it to jealousy rather than feelings of inadequacy which can erode the foundations of your relationship. 

It robs them of their joy as well. Have you ever gotten great news and when you shared it with someone you got a less than enthusiastic response? What about one that sucks the joy right out of you, leaving you with guilt or remorse? Yes, there are certain circumstances where two people cannot have the same thing, two friends may enter a contest knowing that if one wins the other will lose, but often that’s not the case. If my friend gets a promotion and I respond making it about me and my lack of one, I’ve just diminished her joy instead of amplifying it. 

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This isn’t to say that you can’t feel how you feel. After all, when you have worked really hard to get somewhere only to see someone else seemingly skate on by to the top, it can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. You absolutely should let yourself feel those feelings in order to process them. I never recommend suppression and pretending. You can be joyful for another’s triumph while holding your own pain. That’s why I speak about joy rather than happiness. I don’t want to be happy, I want to be joyful. 

However, bitterness against your circumstances, the world and even those you care about can set in. Usually, it’s not about the not having, it’s about what the not having means, that you’re less than everyone else. You’re not your job title, your social status, your income bracket, your marital status or any of the world’s measures for worth and value. Focusing on what brings you joy and bringing beauty, kindness, compassion, hope and love to the world are far more worthy pursuits than keeping up with the Joneses. Besides, why do we care what they think? If they look down on you for not having a brand new car or being able to go on a vacation in Belize every summer, that speaks to the low level of their character not yours. 

When we stop worrying about what others think and embrace ourselves fully we find joy. When we stop comparing ourselves to everyone around us and “above” us, we find that we are enough just as we are. You are enough, dear reader. 

A Trip Back in Time: Tubing at Sickman’s Mill

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Ah, summer. What springs to mind when we think of those blazing hot days and long evenings? Cookouts and water games, people gathered round, laughing gaily as dogs drift in and among the crowd, children playing lawn games? The reality is that, sadly, summer is spent far too often on our phones. Even when out and about, they are an ever-present distraction. Speaking with strangers is practically taboo, lest you disrupt their very important text conversation or latest social media doom-scrolling venture. There are few sanctuaries of the bygone eras where summer meant a blissful abandonment of the world for nature and all her bountiful glory.

It was one such sanctuary that I happened upon on a summer morning—not entirely by accident, as I had made plans to go—but I was surprised to discover that Sickman’s Mill was such a place. Nestled in the southern part of Lancaster County, it doesn’t have the best reception, and lacking any Wi-Fi, one is forced, as their sign proudly declares, to pretend it’s 1969 and talk to other people. I found the bartenders friendly and hospitable, eager to make me feel welcome to a party I didn’t know I’d been invited to as I awaited my friend Kayla’s arrival. They assured me that despite the weather forecast for potential showers, I would still be able to participate in the not-quite-forgotten summer tradition of tubing down a river.

Almost as soon as there were rubber inner tubes leftover from tires, there have been people putting tubs in rivers and floating down them. What could be a more relaxing way to beat the summer heat? After a trip down the Pequea Creek, I’m not sure I can answer that question. It was the perfect panacea for the blistering heat of the season.

The rain from the night before had raised the creek’s levels and left the morning quite comfortable. The clouds that had threatened thunderstorms gave way to beautiful blue skies, allowing dappled rays of sunlight to stream down through the trees. The crowds had not yet arrived, leaving the creek mostly to ourselves to enjoy the sounds of nature all around us. Occasionally, we were treated to faster-moving sections as the water flowed rapidly over a series of rocks. The only main concern was the occasional felled tree that created unexpected obstacles, but aside from those minor disruptions, it was a beautifully relaxing trip.

The entire route took us about an hour to complete, as the creek was moving more rapidly that morning due to the recent rainfall. It can take up to two hours when the water is slower. We were directed by a polite young man to get out of our tubes and climb the convenient stairs to await a bus that would transport us back to the mill. We didn’t need to wait long before it came lumbering up the lane, and after another group disembarked from the creek to board, we were on our way. It was a short but delightful ride through the countryside.

The old mill itself was not open for exploration, but they more than made up for it with the bar affectionately named Jimmy’s Place after the family’s dog. Naturally, Kayla and I tried the Jimmy Juice—all four flavors. She had the Pineapple and Cranberry, whereas I enjoyed an Orange and a Ginger. Our favorites were the Pineapple and the Ginger, and we were able to take a four-pack home to share. For food, we went only a few feet away from the bar to Mama T’s. I learned the name is a bit of a joke, as Mama T is by all accounts a terrible cook. Don’t worry—the food was quite delicious and includes vegetarian options. Prices ranged from $5 for a slice of sourdough pizza to the more expensive Mama T Burger at $14. The portion sizes were as generous as the people serving us.

When we returned to the mill, we were surprised to see that the sleepy bar had transformed into an impromptu party. Dogs ran among the people and splashed into the creek with their owners. Some had taken chairs to sit directly in the creek while sipping on the infamous Jimmy Juice, a vodka-based cocktail. Children and adults played lawn games together, and everywhere I looked, people were actually talking to each other instead of scrolling on their phones. It felt as if I had indeed been transported back to 1969. I even had the distinct pleasure of meeting Mama T, who had just landed from Ireland.

It would seem that while the mill has taken on many purposes in its 250-plus years of existence, it remains timeless. One certainly feels as if time simply melts away. Hours and minutes blend together as the party stretches into the afternoon. You forget to check the time, and text messages go unanswered—if they even get through the spotty reception. It is a place to forget the modern world and embrace the echoes of summers past. Though I wouldn’t have thought it all that different from a lazy river at an amusement park, there was something special about tubing down a real river in the middle of the woods. It may be a relic of an era now gone, but it remains a time-honored tradition. As long as there are tubes and rivers, people will continue to float down them.

How can you go tubing?

Luckily, the United States is dotted with rivers, and if nothing else, you can probably find one nearby to float down—provided you have a tube. It’s recommended to bring a friend along and park your cars in two different places unless you find a spot like Sickman’s Mill where you can rent a tube and catch a bus ride back. It’s a bit more adventurous doing it yourself. Though I must confess, as someone with a poor sense of direction, I’d likely miss the designated pickup spot, drift miles downriver, and end up hopelessly lost.

If you don’t want to go the DIY route, finding a place like Sickman’s is usually as simple as Googling “water tubing.” There are plenty of places that offer this kind of summer activity. I can’t promise they’ll all have the same family cookout atmosphere, but the river experience will be similar. I do think there’s something magical about finding a place where cell service isn’t great and Wi-Fi isn’t available. It encourages people to put their phones away and genuinely engage with each other.

Completed: August 2024
Cost: $25 for tubing ($40 additional for drinks and food)
Miles from home: 20
Potentially time warped: 55 years into the past

Travel Tips: Planes, Trains and Automobiles Part 3

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We now, come to the end of my travel tips and my post on various modes of traveling, automobiles which usually come in two flavors when traveling abroad, taxis/ubers and rental cars.

Taxis are famously expensive and so I avoid them if possible, but sometimes you simply won’t have much of a choice, whether public transit isn’t running, doesn’t go to the destination or you’re simply too exhausted to bother hauling your luggage onto a subway in the middle of rush hour. On a recent trip to England, I actually opted for a combination of all these forms of transportation, a plane, buses, trains, subways, taxis and a rental car. I ended up taking a taxi mostly when the rental car wasn’t available because I arrived late on a Saturday afternoon several hours after it closed and it didn’t open until Monday and I really wanted to have time to go to Saint Michael’s Mount that Sunday because of other various parameters, Sunday was the optimal time to visit. Now as a tidal island, it’s only accessible by a causeway during low tide which happened to be from 11:30 to about 3:30 that. The bus didn’t leave until Sennen Cove until 12:00 pm and was an hour and a half ride meaning I wouldn’t have arrived until 1:30 pm, I still would have had a significant walk to the causeway giving me a rather slim amount of time to visit. Additionally, I would have been waiting until about 5 pm for a bus back to Sennen Cove. Meaning I would have had almost and hour and a half of waiting around outside. Given the parameters, I opted for a taxi.

If you find yourself at a major hub, hailing a taxi is usually as easy as walking up to the assembled line of taxis and hopping in the first one. Just be sure you’re going to an official taxi stand. Keep in mind you will pay an arm and a leg if you’re traveling far away from the hub. Now if you are going further out, you may run into taxi drivers refusing your business. Most countries have laws in place to protect you, but they may still try to. The best way to avoid that is first do your research to see if there are laws to protect you and the second is to wait until you get in the cab to tell the driver where you’re going. It’s a little harder for them to simply refuse your business once you’re all settled and they’ve pretty much committed to driving you.

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If you aren’t at a major hub, you may need to either reserve a taxi ahead of time or call one. Make sure to verify the taxi’s credential look for the company’s name, logo and the driver’s identification card. If the local laws don’t require that or you’re using an app like Uber or Lyft be certain to note the license plate number. When using an ride hailing app double-check the car’s make, model and license plate match the information provided in the app. Other safety tips include refraining from sharing personal information, paying in cash if possible, sharing your trip details and keeping your valuables secure. If you ever feel unsafe, you can always request the driver drop you off at a safe place and call for a different cab. Make sure you know the local emergency numbers.

Make sure you have the address of your destination in an easily accessible place as you would hate to have the meter start running while you fumble about trying to confirm your destination. Don’t assume your driver will know precisely where to go.

Be sure you understand the fare structure when you’re traveling some places may charge a flat rate for rides within a given area, most use a meter to calculate fares based on distance and time. Knowing this ahead of time can help you budget. Make sure you research common scams and pitfalls related to taxi fares especially in high tourist areas as you may find yourself being charged unfairly. However, most of the time the drivers are honest and quite pleasant. In my experience most drivers prefer cash over card and they will often round down if you do offer them cash rather than card. You won’t save a ton of money but you may save a few bucks, so be prepared to pay with cash over card. 

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Now you may say, to heck with all this public transit and taxi nonsense, I’ll simply rent a car and drive as God intended! And it may be worth doing that. Depending on where you want to go, the availability of public transit to your desired destinations, how much time you have and the expense of taxis, renting a car may be the best option.

Remember that small trip to Saint Michael’s Mount? The taxi ended up costing me nearly 80 pounds for just one back and forth trip. Given that I desired to go to multiple places where buses and other forms of public transit simply did not go, taking a taxi everywhere was going to be quite a bit expensive. This meant that I opted for a rental. My rental car cost me 60 a day for the week (perhaps a little more with gas factored in). I was able to take multiple trips in a day, didn’t have to wait for a taxi to pick me up and didn’t have to worry about a meter running.

Additionally, I wanted to venture a bit further afield visiting Stonehenge, Bath, the Seal Sanctuary and Tintagel. Had I attempted to visit Stonehenge using public transit, I would have spent nearly 7 to 9 hours traversing the country side by taxi, bus and train. With a rental car, the trip was only 4 hours and I was able to add on Bath. The unexpected expense was of course the price of gas. It was astronomical, I certainly complain about gas prices in my home state of PA, but the UK made it look positively cheap.

The other unexpected challenge was not that I was driving on a different side of the road or even the traffic circles (we actually have several of them in my area), no instead it was that I had inadvertently rented a giant SUV and those roads are tiny! There were plenty of places in Cornwall where you couldn’t even fit two cars together meaning you had to drive backwards until hitting a spot with a section just wide enough for your to squeeze your car into while they passed you or they had to drive backwards to let you pass (I shall write a whole post about the adventures of driving in a foreign country eventually). 

This meant that everytime I drove, I was worried about scratching the darn thing, so much so that I sprang for a little extra protection against damage to the car to reduce potential costs from 2,000 to 250. As it turns out most of the world does have tiny roads and unfortunately car manufacturers insist on making ever bigger cars. It may be worth it to research the models of car and pick the smaller one or to simply forego the SUV. Although, you may not want to do that if you will be going into the backroads since some of them are little more than dirt paths. I really felt that it was a no win situation with regards to the risk of damage to the car. Luckily, the fates were with me and I managed not to scratch the car. The key is not to rely solely on the camera and the sensors but rather ensure your mirrors are positioned so you can see the rear wheels and a little bit next to them. I learned this trick from an ambulance driver and I think if anyone knows how to maneuver a vehicle backwards without getting into an accident it would be them.

Additionally when renting a car, and this is very important, make sure you’ve rented an automatic car. Much of the world drives stick and much of America does not. I do not recommend renting a manual car if you’ve not driven them much before especially if going to a country like the UK. Do you really want to try driving on the opposite side of the road, with a million traffic circles, trying to drive stick while jet lagged? I didn’t think so. Additionally, make sure you’ve taken the time to research and review the relevant traffic laws and common symbols of the country you’ll be traveling to. Don’t assume that traffic signs are universal, yes most are self-explanatory but some aren’t.

There are other common pitfalls with rentals such as mileage, tolls, insurance, late returns and different pick up and drop off locations which can cost you money. When you do rent a car be certain to check the mileage as not every rental comes with unlimited mileage. Some will even limit you on taking your rental out of state or the local region. When traveling in the United States, a common issue for tolls is that rental cars will vastly overcharge you for any tolls that they cover. It can be difficult to opt out unless you ensure the toll transponder is closed and that you make sure you pay directly at the booth or online. Most places recommend you bring your transponder. The other option is to avoid toll roads altogether.

Insurance can be another place where you get overcharged. If you have a personal car insurance policy or a credit card that covers rental car insurance then getting it through the rental car company may be something you don’t need. If you have a credit card for coverage make sure it offers primary collision damage waiver and that the type of car you’re renting is covered and the country you’re traveling in is covered. However, credit card collision damage waivers do not cover personal injuries to you, your passenger or pedestrians involved in an accident.

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

Many rental car companies define rental period by 24 hours so if your return time is later than your pick up time, you’re going to pay for an entire additional day even if it’s a few hours difference. Some companies do have a grace period from 30 minutes to 2 hours if you return the car after the designated return time. This probably would have been helpful knowledge when I rented a car in England and saved me $60 as my pick up time was 9 am and I selected my drop off time as 12. I ended up picking it up closer to 10 am and dropping it off at around 11 am and could have saved about $60. Additionally if you pick up and drop off at a different location be prepared to be charged extra. Even if it’s convenient and easy for you to do so, it isn’t for the company and they’ll be certain to charge you for their trouble.

I also would recommend avoiding booking through third party sites. They may be attractive for lower prices but you lose a lot of protections if something goes amiss. If you need to alter your reservation or get a refund, it’s much easier to get what you need if dealing directly with the rental car company to begin with.

Finally, make sure that you check the vehicle before you drive off. Make sure that it has a full tank of gas, you take pictures and video of the car to note any damage and make sure you check the car’s vehicle identification number for information on the car’s features and any recalls. Be certain that any of issues are documented at the time of pick up.

Hopefully, you’ve found my tips to be informative and helpful for maximizing your travels and checking off your list. After all, while most of the things can be done closer to home, there are some things that can only truly be experienced by traveling.

From Fire and Ash a Phoenix Rises: Firebird Festival in Phoenixville

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For the past twenty years a mysterious sight has unfolded in the midst of the winter’s cold. A community builds a giant wooden bird and then sets it on fire much to the delight of the spectators. And, dear reader, it is as awesome as it sounds. 

The Firebird Festival, was a dream of a Henrik Stubbe Teglbjaerg, an immigrant from Denmark who has resided in the States since the late 1980’s. He, with four other Phoenixville residents, came up with the idea, in part inspired by similar festivals of Europe where they build things and set it on fire. When he first arrived Phoenixville was a dreary little town. However, it started to revive itself, opening up a theater, art galleries, coffee house and it was as if there was a rebirth, a town rising up out of the ashes. So what could be a more perfect fit than to celebrate with the symbol of rebirth and the town’s own namesake? 

What is more is that each year, the ashes from the burned phoenix are taken and made into clay birds which are then placed inside the wooden bird. When set on fire, the wooden structure acts as a kiln, firing the birds and thus completing the cycle of last year’s bird when they are transformed into decorative pottery. 

What started as a small 150 person event has grown into a 20,000 person festival. Complete with food trucks, fire dancers, a parade, live music, and various wares for sale. It is a celebration of the town and the arts. But rather than relying on fancy performance artists most of the event is volunteer and community run which only speaks to the strength and spirit of the community, despite the growing size of the festival they have protected its heart as a grassroots events that remains untainted by the scale of the crowd. 

Most years, this event takes place in December just as the northern hemisphere enters its darkest stage and the year is coming to a close. However due to an unusually dry spell, the 2024 Firebird Festival was delayed as having a 20 foot wooden set aflame near exceedingly dry forest isn’t exactly the safest idea. Remember dear reader, as much as we all desire to check off our lists we want to make sure we live to check off the rest of our lists when doing so. 

This misfortune of weather was my opportunity. For you see, my sister and I typically celebrate the holiday season each year with our extended family on the second weekend of December. It so happens that the Firebird Festival also happens on that same weekend meaning that we are always previously engaged as the annual Holiday Feast has been a set date since before I was born. So when the organizers moved the Firebird Festival to the first weekend in February it became the must do event of the winter season. 

The new date was also fortuitous as it coincided with an ancient celebration of spring’s light returning. The ancient Celtic holiday of Imbolc was associated with the Celtic Goddess Brigid, the guardian of Hearth and Flame, a perfect pairing for the new date. The ancient holiday was a time of purification, renewal and preparation for the change in season. Fire rituals which honored the returning sun were frequently integrated into the Imbolc celebrations. It was celebrations like these which inspired the Firebird Festival in the first place making the new date perfect. 

As it happened, it was one of the coldest nights of the winter as arctic wind was carried down from the north freezing all that it touched with its icy fingers. Only a few days before the weather had been warm thawing out the ground and making it moist and muddy. Posts about the event warned celebrants of the potential for treacherous conditions on the field as the mud became slick and icy. 

My sister and I did our best to buddle up in preparation for the cold. I fared a bit better than her having a coat that mimicked a fur one, leather gloves lined with kashmir, thick socks and shoes with thick soles to keep out the cold. She had a rather old coat that she put several layers on beneath but the wind still managed to cut through the fabric and whisk away what warmth she had. As the Germans say “there is no bad weather, only bad clothing” and this was a prime example. I stayed pretty toasty throughout the evening but my poor sister struggled. Worry not, I often acted as a wind break once the crowd gathered. 

The festival occurs in two different places, the field where the bird is and downtown Phoenixville where most of the art events occur. After looking at the events and options, we determined that we wouldn’t arrive at 4 pm when the event started but rather closer to 5:30 pm to find parking, walk down to the field. That gave us about 21/2 – 2 hours before the bird was scheduled to be lit at 8 and the fire dancers would start their own performances around 6 (something else I’ve been wanting to see as part of my BucketList, maybe I’ll have to add Fire Dancing to the list now that I know I can volunteer to be one!) 

We followed the instructions for parking and managed to snag a great spot that was near enough to the field to make an easy walk in and out. It was a place that opened for parking after the official event time, I assume in part to help manage crowds. This made it a breeze to get to the Veterans Memorial Park where we were greeted by friendly volunteers who directed us into the event. They had buckets to collect donations which went to supporting it. When we got there we were a little surprised as the lackluster crowd as it seemed only a hundred people were milling about. There were a few food trucks and some tents set up. The band wasn’t playing yet and the sun was only just starting to set. We milled around looking at the different options and then decided to watch the Fire Dancers. We saw some people had chairs set up right at the center of the staging area but other than directly in front, the area was clear. We picked a spot to the left to watch and decided we’d take turns running to the food trucks. 

It felt a little paranoid to hold our spots when there were so few people, but as it turned out this was a crucial strategy because it seemed that within 15 minutes the crowd had tripled in size and the entire perimeter of the bird was lined with spectators enthralled by the fire dancers. Just as twilight fell, the arrived each with a unique costume and different types of instruments to move the flames about. They juggled, they moved around balls of fire, they twirled long lances and staves, they mimicked a bird with wing-like props, they used hoops of fire to make large circles. One wore a plaque mask, another looked like she came from the assassin’s creed, there were knights with shields and spears, there was a woman in a leopard catsuit. Some of the volunteers were better than others but all of them were mesmerizing in their own way as in the background a band played music. 

By the time the sky had gone dark, the crowd had ballooned behind us and we had to jostle our way to back to each other when we went for warm drinks or snacks. We nibbled on delicious food from a truck and sipped on warm apple cider available for purchase from some enthusiastic teens manning a volunteer tent. It seemed a little pricey for warm cider but the proceeds went to support the event and as it didn’t have an entry fee I was happy to pay a little more. The cider warmed my hands which had gotten cold from taking pictures of the fire dancers. 

As the appointed hour grew near, the crowd and the cold intensified. However, it was all great fun as we stood there making friends with the people behind us, chatting and laughing. We helped them hold a spot for their friend when she slipped out. Then around 7:45 the parade arrived. Headed by a giant pheonix of paper mache and cloth, the parade was host to more costumed revelers adorned with lights who danced to the beat of drums. Around the bird they circled to the cheers of the onlookers as the crowd only grew more excited in anticipation of the main event. 

Unfortunately, there seemed to be a bit of a delay as 8 pm came and went. Then 8:05, then 8:10, then 8:15, by the time 8:20 rolled around there were chants of “light the bird” which would be taken up and then die down after a minute or so. This went on for another 10 or 15 minutes until finally the torch bearers chosen by lottery were assembled and permitted to put torch to wood. At first, the flames barely licked up the wooden structure. It seemed as if the wind would snuff out the small fires struggling to find purchase against such icy conditions. How could such small flames survive? Would we be disappointed? 

No, the flames did not die. They continued their merry dance along the wooden structure, flickering brightly in the night. While it was a nice sight to see, it was hardly worth the nearly 3 hours in the freezing cold, perhaps we should pack it in, my sister suggested. I told her that I wanted to spend a little bit longer because we had been there so long and I wanted to enjoy it regardless. Then suddenly, conflagration! The whole thing was alight, the phoenix was finally truly lit. The heat pushed back the cold becoming almost more than we could bear even so far way. I pushed my hands out towards it drinking in the sudden heat. It was a glorious sight to behold as it was truly worthy of its name.It really did look like a mythical creature crackling in the cold night with the promise of the summer’s sun. We stood there enthralled by it, saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new. 

How can you experience a Firebird Festival?

Obviously if you don’t live near Phoenixville attending this event won’t be cheap or easy and while it is certainly something I recommend if you’re in the area, it isn’t something I would plan an entire vacation around. However, there are lots of different local traditions and festivals throughout the country with their own unique and special. Florida is home to an Underwater Music Festival,  New Mexico has one dedicated to UFOs, Ohio is obsessed with Duck Tape and Washington State hosts a Kite Festival and there are many more. With some searching, you’re almost certain to find a quirky festival near you. Many of these festivals take place in the Spring and Summer months so now is the perfect time to look around your wider area for fun and interesting events.

What’s awesome is that the story of the Firebird Festival demonstrates that it only takes a few people gathering together to make something amazing. It started off as 4 friends getting together, building a small phoenix and setting it alight for 150 people. It has ballooned into an event that attracts thousands each winter. Your own event doesn’t have to be this “big thing” and there’s nothing to stop you from starting your own tradition! Don’t worry about a 20 year commitment though, as once it takes off there will be people to pass the torch to (pun very much intended). 

Small disclaimer:

Technically, there are things that can stop you from starting your own tradition. Local ordinances may prohibit you from doing certain activities like setting things on fire and I really don’t recommend that you do that if you live out in places that a prone to wildfires. I don’t want this blog to be in the news because after reading this, you decided to start your own firebird festival and set the state of California on fire. So as always check your local ordinances and use common sense before trying something you read online.

Cost: Free

Miles from home: 50

Travel Tips: Trains, planes and Automobiles Part 2

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As my original intended post ended up being far too long, I had to break it down into several different ones. Since the original post was titled “Trains, planes and Automobiles”, it seems to make sense that I shall be covering tips for planes next. In a previous post, I discussed luggage and maximizing space with tricks of layering, additional pockets, etc. So I will not insult you gentle reader by repeating myself as I am certain you are capable of remembering previously presented information. Nor will I go into how to snag cheap flights as I have already covered that in other posts, although only briefly. I may eventually make a dedicated post for how to get cheap tickets when traveling, but this post isn’t that. Mostly, this will cover how to help make your plane experience as pleasant as possible because let’s face it, unless you’re flying first class, flying is pretty miserable.

One of the easiest ways to make your flight more pleasant is by having the right seat. There are many different considerations for optimal seat position. Some people love to be at the window (like me), others swear by the aisle seat because it gives them a place to stretch their legs. On some planes there are aisle seats that have no seats in front of them as they make the transition from economy plus to economy, so if you’re looking to maximize leg room, there are two aisle seats on the plane with lots of extra space. However, if you cannot snag those positions then you’ll want either a bulkhead or exit row seat. If you can look at the plane you’ll be flying on ahead of time (information that should have been available at time of booking), you’ll already know which rows those are.

Some people want to sit in the “safest” seat  which surprisingly is a middle seat in the back of the plane as those have the highest survival rates in the event of a crash. The other upside to the back of the plane is this is where you’re most likely to have an empty seat next to you since most people don’t want to sit in the back. After all the back of the plane is where you’ll experience the most turbulence and have the longest disembark time. This is also where one of the on-flight kitchens is located meaning that there will be increased noise. You will also have more noise at the very front of the plane for the same reason.

Sometimes you can pick your seat the same day as you book your flight without paying a fee to do so, but most of the time you have to wait until 24 hours in advance to “check-in” in order to avoid paying a fee. Some airlines are starting to charge you even during the 24 hour window, as always do your research when comparing prices. If traveling internationally be sure to have your passport waiting with you so you don’t waste precious time looking for your passport trying to snag your preferred seat. Check out other blogs for the specific airline or airplane you’re traveling with to see if there’s any tips for optimal seating. If you’re traveling on an overnight flight, you may want to double check the location of the bathroom if you’re a light sleeper to avoid being disturbed or if you’re someone who needs to go frequently, be sure to snag that aisle seat near by.

Extra tip: Many people will rush the bathroom right after take off, after meal times and right before landing. Set an alarm for about 2 hours before landing on long haul flights to avoid the rush.

Once you have your seat selected, the next step is to time your arrival at the airport. Many first time flyers make the mistake of thinking the time of their flight is the last possible minute they can board the plane. This isn’t the case. Make sure that when you do your online check in you take a moment to check your ticket. Often they will have two other times listed, the time that you have to have cleared security by and the time the doors to the plane will close. Just because you’ve cleared security doesn’t mean that they’ll hold the plane while you shop or finish a meal. Make sure you allow an hour to make it through security, so whatever time it says try to arrive at least an hour ahead of time. If you’re parking in a long term economy lot, add an extra 15-20 minutes to locate a parking spot, get to a bus stop and take the bus to the correct terminal. Make sure you take a picture of where you parked and what bus stop you were picked up at. Depending on typical traffic for the airport you’re going to, add extra time to your commute and check online for tips of frequent travelers in and out of your airport to see if there is anything you should know. I usually try to add at least 30 extra minutes to my commute into Philadelphia and an extra 60 minutes if traveling during rush hour.

To help make security easy, try and have all your paperwork in an easy to locate place. Wear shoes that are easy to slip on and off (not every airport makes you take off your shoes anymore as it depends on their machines and the thickness of your soles). Have your clear bag of toiletries on top of any luggage you’re bringing through security (like with your shoes not every airport makes you take it out of your bag, but some still do so it’s better to be prepared). If wearing layers try to make sure you can slip your layers on and off without much fuss. The less you have to take off and out, the easier and less stressful this process is. The key is of course to follow the verbal directions of the security people, don’t try to be smart or funny with them, even if you’re the most hilarious person at the airport that day. If you’re unsure of a directive just ask politely for clarification. If you think for any reason that you may need extra assistance with a disability, contact the airport ahead of time to discuss and make sure to clarify with them their recommendations on additional time needed to get through security with assistance. I personally recommend at least an extra hour if you’re going to need assistance as a wheelchair may not be available right when you arrive, they may be short staffed or assisting other customers. Most airlines subcontract this out and the airline you booked with may have little control over these personnel.

I usually don’t get pulled aside at security but here are the three reasons I have been patted down before or searched. The first was a big surprise. I’m an avid reader and apparently the way my rather thick book was packed triggered off the alarm bells as a potential bomb. e. To avoid this, I now only use my e-reader or smaller, shorter books. The second reason is that I have really thick, long hair so when I wore it in a single braid down my back, that triggered a check. To avoid that happening again, I now wear it in two braids. The third was sweat on my back. I was just anxious that I was forgetting something important and it was clawing at the back of my mind the whole drive to the airport – as it turns out, I had forgotten to pack my hairbrush, so nothing that couldn’t be rectified upon arrival but it did trigger a search. As you can see, you can get pulled aside for a search for seemingly no reason, honestly a book, my hair and a sweaty back? The last one was slightly embarrassing, but what can I say, sweating is a natural human reaction to stress and flying can be a stressful thing. To avoid this, take deep breathes and wear breathable clothing.

Now there are many things that one can do to make the flight more comfortable. The first thing I do, is make sure I have something to block out noise and typically carry two ways to do this. The first is my earbuds, the second is a headwrap with bluetooth speakers that I can also use as a sleep mask. I really like the headwrap with bluetooth speakers because I don’t have to worry about my earbuds falling out and they’re super compact to pack. Other people swear by noise cancelling headphones, I don’t like this option because it means that I may miss important announcements, but for other people they’re a must have on a flight.

The second thing I do is to have a variety of ways to entertain myself. I load up on my e-reader and pack a small book that I can read in the event I run out of battery. I also carry a small activity book with puzzles or other games to keep me entertained. My phone has a few apps that can be used offline, along with lots of music. Most long haul flights do include headphones to allow you access to inflight movies and other entertainment, but not every airline will do this so you may want to pack ones that can use a headphone jack rather than a USB. It’s rare that I find myself watching an inflight movie, so I tend to skip packing headphones. I do, however, always carry a portable charger since I can’t guarantee that a charging station will be available or that it will have the right plug. A lot of airlines are getting better about this but in economy class there is often only two plugs per three passengers, so rather than chance ending up in the news over a charging station, I just have my own.

Prior to boarding I try and go for a brief walk just to get my legs moving and blood pumping. Usually this walk consists of going to the bathroom one last time. I also try and dress in at least two layers because I am almost never comfortable on a plane, I am either freezing cold or dying from heat. Having a layer ensures that I comfortable. The same can be said for shoes that can easily be slipped off and exchanged for slippers (remember most people do not want your bare feet out and about, it’s considered rude and there are airlines that are starting to crack down on bare feet, slippered feet however is usually acceptable). Make sure to put your shoes back on if you’re walking about the plane for sanitary reasons. 

Make sure to pack a portable water bottle and some snacks. Once you’re through security, you can fill up your water bottle at the many water fountains to help keep yourself hydrated as travel can and does take a lot out of you. I also like to pack snacks. While most airlines do offer snacks and even meals there’s no promise that you’ll like them or that you will get them. On a recent long haul flight, we were supposed to end the flight with a snack. However, several of the flight staff suddenly came down with an illness mid-flight so for safety reasons they did not feed us. So with my snacks, I always pack and use hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. I don’t know about the other passengers on my flight, but I do know that I managed to avoid contracting the illness. Additionally, in an effort to save money some airlines have stopped including meals and now require you to pay for them. They may require you to use their app in order to make inflight purchases rather than accepting cash or credit card in flight.

Along with hand sanitizer, I will usually pack a few things to help keep me feeling fresh. As I shared earlier, flying can be stressful and when we are stressed, we sweat. Having a few baby wipes, moistures and even travel toothbrushes can help you feel, look and smell your best. 

Now there are people who swear by travel pillows. Personally, I never use them. I don’t sleep on planes, I never could and often the long haul flights do offer small travel pillows and blankets anyways. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t if you’re the sort of person who can sleep anywhere (first stop and post in the comments below your secrets, I wish to learn oh wise one!). If you are someone who plans on sleeping, don’t sleep during take off or landing as it apparently negatively impacts your ears ability to regulate their air pressure. Not having ever slept on plane, I cannot comment to the validity of this rumor, but I’ve seen this advice in several places. Travel pillows may also be helpful for people with back or neck pain as planes aren’t known for their superior lubar support. However, if you’re not one of those people then a travel pillow becomes an unnecessary burden and I wholly recommend skipping it.

This last one should seem obvious but it always surprises me how few people do it, I see them popping up and down all flight getting their stuff. Keep your airplane essentials in one place and I recommend that be in your personal item. There is no promise that your luggage will end up in the overhead compartment above you. You may end up having it in an entire other section of the plane, or checked in at the gate for various reasons. I often will pack my personal item with all the things I may want on the plane: e-reader, portable charger, activity book, notebook, earbuds, snacks, etc. Within my personal item, these things are often packed in smaller bags which makes it really easy to just reach in and find what I want quickly. I have a collection of small purses because I either have a massive purse with everything in it or a tiny purse that literally holds my phone, my wallet, my keys and maybe a tube of lipstick. The purses are so useful for organizing my luggage and then I have cute handbags for all my outings on my trips, fashion meets practicality, a win for all. 

There are certainly other tips that people may recommend and I encourage you to go out and see what other passengers have done to make flights more comfortable. As with all tips and tricks, consider whether they will work for you. As I said earlier, I don’t bother with travel pillows, I don’t ever seem to use them and always regret packing them, but for many people they are essential and worth the extra hassle they cause. You may also read tips and tricks that other passengers won’t appreciate so if it seems a little odd, you may want to check the comment section or the rest of the internet to see if you’re breaking unspoken plane etiquette which could land you in hot water with your fellow passengers. While it may be your “right” to do something, you do increase your chances of ending up in a mid-flight brawl if you ignore plane etiquette, so I encourage you to be polite.

Keep in mind the airline industry is always evolving. Airlines are cracking down on what people can carry on a plane. They’re no longer allowing a free pass on things like pillows and blankets but rather counting those as your personal item. Always, always, check the airline’s website for the most up to date rules and if you’re looking at a blog for luggage “hacks” to avoid fees, make sure you check to see when it was published because the tricks may no longer apply.

The Confidence Boost of a Facial

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I remember my very first pimple in 5th grade. It was right on my chin and it was HUGE. I felt like everyone was just starting at this giant, white thing on my face. It felt like it would never go away. I wasn’t even an especially vain child, but it was certainly an uncomfortable feeling. I was reassured by the adults in my life that acne was just a phase and it would pass, just wash your face more and all will be well. I diligently washed my face and waited for the acne of the teen years to pass. I waited, and waited and waited, and waited. I tried various products over the years to no avail. The acne just never quite went away. 

As it turns out, I was viciously lied to, dear reader! I had been unfortunately cursed with adult acne driven by hormones and like herolds of war it came each month right before ahem my “visitor”. So it was in my late twenties that I somewhat resigned myself to the fact that I would almost always be plagued with these unfortunate blemishes and that there was really nothing quite to be done about them. 

Now, I have shared about my monthly habit of going for a massage and indulging in a small mini-vacation. Each month, I entered the waiting room, noticed the wall of products for skin and saw the advertisements for facials. I decided that perhaps, I did not need to resign myself to such a fate as simply accepting that I would always struggle every month to control the small mountain range which jutted up from my chin each month in new and interesting patterns. Perhaps, I need not worry that a small child could be entertained for hours by connecting the dots. So, I scheduled an appointment with Camille not really knowing what it would entail or even to expect that much. 

It was, dear reader, one of the very best decisions of my life. Camille is knowledgeable, personable and the sweetest woman one could ever ask for. She was so very kind about my problem and spoke with me about exactly what I wanted from the appointment, was honest about the sorts of products she would need to use and discussed the cost of the initial treatments as it would require upgrades to the basic facial. I told her that I was here to solve a problem not necessarily to simply relax and enjoy myself and that I was willing to give the upgrades a try. She carefully examined my skin and set to work. 

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

It was not an unpleasant experience by any means. It was absolutely wonderful to have my skin carefully tended to with gentle scrubs and tinctures designed to combat the acne and leave me feeling fresh. The only part that was unpleasant was when she offered to do some extractions to which I acquiesced and she carefully pushed out the gunk that was blocking my pores and creating unsightly mounds upon my face. Through out the treatment we talked and got to know one another better. I told her about my job and she shared about her own interests. As it turns out, we both are partial to Japanese Black and White Horror Films from the 1960’s. A niche interest if there ever was one. 

At the end, she gave me a simple routine of two daily products and a weekly exfoliant. My skepticism was palpable that surely these three products were not the key to unlocking clear skin after I have tried everything else under the sun. She reassured me to trust her and I felt that I had little else to lose. I bought them and went home. Now, the next day, I could have been easily forgiven for almost giving up entirely and throwing in the towel, because lo and behold, a giant pimple had risen up in defiance of everything to taunt my efforts. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that sometimes treatment may require putting up with some temporary pains. Sure enough, it did quickly go away and by following the routine laid out by Camille, my face actually stayed relatively clear. I still had monthly cycles of acne but not nearly what it was. What were formerly my very best days where my skin was almost clear, were now my very worst days.  Now, I do notice if I go too long between facials my skin starts to backslide, but in general I can go 3 to 4 months in between more intensive treatments to manage my adult acne.. 

I am not a vain person, dear reader, but I was at times embarrassed by my acne. I knew that despite it being caused by an underlying hormone imbalance that I couldn’t control, people did judge me because of it. Being able to walk around with clear skin and looking good has been such a confidence booster. In fact, looking good is linked with better performance, increased productivity, decreased anxiety and sparking those happy, feel good hormones. Which makes sense, if you don’t feel good about the way you look you’re going to anticipate people judging you poorly, not getting the assistance you may need and increase your sense that things aren’t going to go your way. I am in no way, dear reader, saying that your self-worth should be tied to your looks. We should try to take care of ourselves the best we can and work to feel comfortable with how we look.

How can you look your best and feel your best?

Now this is decidedly one of those items that fall under “principles of the thing” rather than the thing itself. For me, the facials are about helping me look my best to help me live my best life. It’s not about getting a facial as part of my bucket list. Although, a full spa day is certainly on the list now as just a day of pampering and relaxation.

As I just shared looking our best, helps us feel our best. When we have things that get in the way it can be much harder to feel good about ourselves. For me it was acne, for my mother it was rosacea. For someone else it may be wrinkles or chronic dandruff. So while, I am not encouraging you to simply go get a facial (although you can, they’re rather enjoyable), what I am encouraging you to do, dear reader, is try going to the experts and professionals who are trained to assist you with whatever problem you happen to have.. You may be surprised at how easy a fix your seemingly insurmountable problem is!

What I loved about Camille was she was extremely honest about her limitations, her education and recommendations and readily communicated with me to help me make the best decisions for my skin’s health. Is getting a semi-regular facial expensive? Yes, but so were all the various products that I tried which failed to produce results.

Travel Tips: Trains, Planes and Automobiles Part 1

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And buses! And taxis! And other forms of transportation! I kept the title short because it was more catchy, but truthfully there are many different ways for humans to get around, but not all of them are a straightforward as one might think. Despite me trying to keep it brief, it ended up being a rather long post so I’m splitting it up.

I shall begin by giving an overview of most public transit systems, how to read their schedules and their routes since most Americans haven’t used public transit much in their lives if ever. A byproduct of the post-WW II infrastructure bills was an increase of car usage and a decline of public transit. I won’t go into all the politics involved or discuss the lobbies by the car manufactures because it’s not exactly relevant here, but it’s a fascinating history that is well worth the investigation for my more academically mined readers. As politics and history aren’t exactly within the scope of this blog, we shall simply acknowledge the reality that in America the car is king and so many haven’t had much experience with public transit. 

We’ll start with subway and train maps for most cities. They can be a bit deceptive in that the inventor of this system made them for ease of reading for stops and connections not to show how far apart those stops and connections were nor all the twists and turns of how to get there in reference to any specific direction. Just because it reads left to right doesn’t mean that a line is going precisely east to west, it could go in a general northeast to southwest direction or a northwest to southeast direction. Nor are the stations in a precise line, they may be quite staggered all over the city but be represented in a straight line.  Once you understand that, it becomes much easier to understand what you’re looking at and to connect a city map to a subway map. It’s actually quite intuitive once you understand that.

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Most subway and train platforms will show you which side leads to which direction. Many subways will have signs that start at the station you are at and show you all the stops until the line terminates in one direction and then have another sign that shows you all the stops until the line terminates in the other direction with helpful arrows pointing to which side of the platform corresponds to which part of the line. It’s actually rather intuitive. Now occasionally a line will branch further down or a platform will service multiple lines. To eliminate the guess work, simply look at the electronic signage typically above the platform that will usually display something helpful like “train to X stop in y minutes” (usually where the line will terminate), look at the list of stops on the sign and you can easily see which train is coming in. You will notice that I also added that these signs will often have the number of minutes you’ll be waiting. For most subways, the lines run every 10 or so minutes so there’s no need to rush to try and catch a subway car since they run quite frequently.

Once you’re on the subway or train, there is usually electronic signage indicating what stop is coming next. If not, then there is usually an announcement that comes on and you’ll often see signage outside the windows as you’re coming into a station to indicate where you are. Typically, all three indicators are present, which makes it quite easy to know what stop you’re arriving in. 

Now to figure out which stop you need, you’ll often have to consult a city map for the various landmarks you wish to see and then look to see what the nearest station will be. You may need to transfer to different lines depending on your stay. You should also make sure you know how late various lines run as not every line may run 24 hours a day and you should be certain to check their websites for the most accurate and up-to-date information. Don’t assume because your friend did it a month ago that it hasn’t changed. Staffing shortages and weather can cause last minute issues. You don’t want to be caught in the middle of the night in the pouring rain miles from your hotel. 

The subway is my favorite public transit because of its ease of use and simplicity. Most subways will pop you out within a five to ten minute walk of most landmarks and many subways have helpful signage pointing you in the general direction of those landmarks. I do recommend purchasing those city maps at local stations rather than simply relying on your phone as the maps are made for tourists. They often have the lists of the most popular sites along with an indicator of where on the map they are which can help you plan your trip, cluster sights together and potentially discover lesser known attractions that are tucked alongside bigger ones. These maps can also indicate lesser known entrances for popular destinations to help avoid crowds. For example did you know the Louvre has several entrances and you can avoid longer lines by using them rather than the main one?  

You may need to purchase a subway card, tickets or simply use your credit card to tap and go. Every city is different so look up what you’ll need before you go. Some cities even have specific apps for their public transit system which can be quite helpful when trying to figure out routes. While google maps may be helpful, it won’t necessarily show you which stops are handicapped accessible if you’re traveling with someone who has limited mobility, their app will.

Now, I’m not as much of a fan as the bus, but I will say that they do tend to help close the gaps of the subway stations, especially when not every subway is handicapped accessible and in many of the smaller towns and villages the bus is your only option. I have not found the bus system to be as straight forward and easy to read as the subway nor are the systems employed by the various cities as universal as the subway. I have found that once you master the subway system in one city, it translates exceedingly well to other cities. Not so with the buses. The bus stops don’t always post bus schedules, they don’t always indicate where the bus is going, you may not realize that multiple lines stop at the same place. Often the maps provided will show where each line goes and won’t give you a nice neat way of seeing connecting lines like a subway. Now, this isn’t the case for every city, some are really good, others not so much. So make sure you research before you go and try to have a good idea of how to get around with the bus system before arriving at your destination. Just like with the subway system paying for the ride will be dependent on the city you’re using so be ready to purchase a card, ticket or to tap your credit/debit card. Just know that if you choose to tap your credit/debit card you may incur overseas processing fees depending on the type of card you have, so check with your bank prior to your travels and see if you qualify for a card that will forgo those fees.

Additionally, there are different sorts of buses, the buses within a city and the buses that traverse between major hubs. Buses within cities tend to follow similar rules as the subway. The buses between cities and major hubs may include things like a hold below for your luggage. These also tend to be a little more comfortable than the usual city bus as they’re made for longer trips. These buses have less stops but travel further. Be sure to bring both card and cash with you for the trip as sometimes they will only take one or the other depending on where you’re traveling.

In some cities, there is even a public boating system that will ferry you down the main river going through the city. Be sure to check out that potential if visiting a place with a larger river running through it like London. 

Now if you’re traveling a longer distance, you may find yourself opting to travel by train usually because the airport isn’t the same place as your destination. Much like every other mode of public transit, it can vary vastly by country and even region as you may have a regional rail that you take, a national rail or a combination of the two. Typically taking a regional rail will mean more stops and thus slower whereas a national rail will be faster with fewer stops. Train stations can serve both national and regional rails. Regional rails tend to be cheaper than national, so when you’re booking tickets be certain to compare. Yes, the regional rail may be vastly cheaper, but you may lose an entire day of travel on a train rather than half a day if you take the national.

I advise purchasing tickets ahead of time as same day tickets tend to be more expensive. Now there are some systems in which different windows of time prior to the travel date affects the price of the ticket, so it may actually be better to wait a week or two for the optimal time when making your purchases. Some countries have rail passes which may be better to purchase. It is sometimes better to purchase your tickets directly through the rail system other times a 3rd party website can help you get the best deal by splitting the ticket for you. A split ticket, is when you pay for a ticket to a city between your start and end point and then pay for another ticket from that city to your end point which can save you money depending on how the fares work out.

Now this can be a bit of a trick as some train systems have windows of time where train tickets are cheaper, and same day tickets are usually the most expensive, so it’s better to purchase tickets in advance. This can be tricky if you’re unsure of the timing for flights, arrival and customs. However, this stress can be alleviated by purchasing flex-time tickets if they’re available for that train system. Flex-time tickets is fairly self-explanatory, it allows you to “flex” the time you take the train, so if your flight is delayed or your luggage took forever to arrive at the carousel, you needn’t worry about missing your train, as you can catch the next one, they are a more expensive option, but it’s still less expensive than purchasing a same day ticket or having to purchase multiple. Sometimes peace of mind is worth the extra cash. Many rail systems allow you to reserve your seats. If you’re someone prone to motion sickness, be certain to get a seat facing the front of the train. Personally, I like getting a seat with a table so I can spread out, work on a puzzle book, read, journal and relax. It also gives me a nice place to rest my head comfortably.

The best way to know what to do is to research the country’s train system that you’re going to since every rail system is going to be different, but there are usually ways to save money when taking the train with some foresight and careful planning.