Tag: Deinfluencing

Tiptoe Through the Tulips

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Tulips the early heralds of spring and the changing weather fill the hills with bright rows of color. Their hues stretch across the spectrum, from fiery red to deepest purple, and their petals are just as varied. They’re also famously tied to history’s first financial speculative bubble, a craze that plunged many Dutch citizens into ruin and left a lasting mark on market regulations. Still, despite that rocky past, the Dutch never forgot their love affair with the flower. Today, they remain a leading producer of tulip bulbs, and each spring, massive swaths of land transform into a living quilt of color as millions of flowers bloom.

I’ve always loved pictures of those majestic fields, windmills standing vigil over seas of blossoms. That said, my allergies would likely stage a protest in the Dutch countryside—and truthfully, the Netherlands doesn’t rank high on my list of must-see destinations. Maybe I’d go if the opportunity presented itself, but there’s no guarantee that it would align with the short-lived tulip season.

What’s a budget-minded girl to do? As it turns out, sometimes you stumble upon the perfect solution when you’re not even looking for it.

There are times when an answer appears to a question you didn’t even know you’d asked. I’ve certainly enjoyed pictures of Holland’s flower fields, but they never inspired the wistful longing other countries have stirred in me. So, I didn’t add them to my list, dismissing the idea out of hand. I try to keep my travel dreams at least somewhat realistic—or else the list would be three times as long. But let this be a lesson, dear reader: never dismiss a dream, no matter how small or unformed.

Though I never truly asked, the universe still answered with a humble billboard: “Tulip Field, Opening April 12th.” Tulip fields? In Pennsylvania? Perhaps I was too quick to rule out my floral fantasy.

April 12th turned out to be cold, wet, and rainy and not ideal for tiptoeing through anything. Besides, opening day crowds come with added chaos and, let’s be honest, possibly terrible music. Twangy Country or bouncy pop blasting over loudspeakers isn’t how I envision my contemplative flower field stroll. I checked my calendar for a better date, one early enough to catch peak bloom, but not a weekend (crowds again!) and ideally with cheaper tickets (this is a budget minded blog, after all).

Less than a week later, on a balmy spring day, I made my way to Flaughbach’s Orchard. The temperature was a perfect 70°F (21°C), and a cheerful breeze danced among the tulips, gently teasing them as she passed. While it was a far cry from the sprawling Dutch fields of my imagination, it was a lovely scene in its own right. Had I been truly committed to a riot of color, I could’ve waited two more weeks and driven three hours north to Brown Hill Farms, where 500,000 tulips bloom across four acres.

Upon arrival, I was handed a pair of shears and informed I could pick two flowers as part of my ticket (with the option to purchase more). But my goal wasn’t to build a bouquet, it was to bask in beauty. I wandered through neatly arranged rows of flowers, encountering charming photo ops along the way: antique bikes, vintage tractors, even a swing for a more whimsical touch. Naturally, I couldn’t resist snapping a few photos, but mostly, I just walked. The field reminded me of a stained-glass window or a floor made of colorful mosaic tiles.

Benches were thoughtfully scattered around the field, perfect for quiet contemplation. I loved feeling the warm sun on my face and the breeze on my skirt. I didn’t stay long, but long enough to enjoy the moment and properly welcome spring in all her glory.

Next year, I may make that pilgrimage north to see the larger fields that have enchanted me for so long. But maybe not. This experience might fall under my “good enough” category; it was joyful, beautiful, and deeply satisfying.

So, how can you tiptoe through the tulips?

You don’t need to wait for the universe to come knocking. Just open your browser and search for tulip fields near you. If you live in the South, it may be a bit trickier, but don’t lose hope. Pilot Point, Texas, and New Market, Alabama both boast quite respectable fields. Up North, there are plenty of spots to chase tulip season. Some may come in the form of botanical gardens; others, humble local farms like Flaughbach’s. Or you might go all in and visit Windmill Island Gardens in Holland, MI (with over four miles of tulips!), or top spots like Pella, Iowa; Woodburn, Oregon; Modesto, California; Mount Vernon, Washington; and Exeter, Rhode Island.

The lesson I learned? Don’t be so quick to downplay your dreams, even the small ones. I try to keep my “undone” list reasonable, and I often add to my “done” list as opportunities arise, especially if they’re spur-of-the-moment or just for fun. But this was something I truly wanted to do, and I’m glad the universe nudged me toward it.

So, I encourage you, dear reader: dream big. Write it all down. Ask for it. The blessing may find you anyway.

Completed: 2025

Cost: $7 to visit the field

Miles from home: 25

Be certain to tiptoe through my other stories listed on my Bucket List and Reverse Bucket List!

Tea at Sea!

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Alright gentle reader, technically, it was a bay and not a sea. However, I did get to hoist the sails and attempt to steer the ship. Yes, technically it was a boat; although I”m not sure I know the difference if we’re being honest. Regardless of the pesky nomenclature, I provided an excellent afternoon tea out on a large body of water in a sailing vessel of some sort. Additionally, I made sure to be properly attired for a day’s outing on the water. With the help of a well placed hat pin not even the wind could dissuade me from my determination to have a little extra flare. After all, where would we be as a society if we allowed ourselves to descend into the mundane and boring, especially when it comes to fashion?

In the midst of COVID, with everything shut down and limitations on movement and gathering, the small but scrappy non-profit I worked for decided to offer its employees a day out with one of our board members, Peggy, on her private boat. To say that I was excited is truly an understatement. It was once again, one of those Bucket List Items that I had mentally placed under “most likely not happening any time soon” as I thought it would cost a lot of money to go. This might be the reason I was a little over the top, but honestly that’s part of who I am. I’m the woman who will put together an entire costume or outfit for even the most slightly themed party or obscure holiday. 

It was truly the morale boost that we needed. To avoid a disruption of vital client services and given the size of the boat, we divided ourselves into two teams which would go on two different days. We also divided up bringing food and other snacks to share. I led the way with letting them all know that I was going to have us do a tea at sea, I would provide the sandwiches, the tea cups, scones and clotted cream. Was it the more costly and time consuming option? Yes, but I was going to take this opportunity that the universe presented me and make the absolute most of it. Before you question my judgement of bringing tea cups on board a ship, know I take quite good care of my china and wouldn’t subject them to the dangers of the open waters. I found these absolutely gorgeous paper cups online! 

We loaded ourselves up early that morning, crammed into one of my co-worker’s vans like the start of some quiet, well-mannered heist armed with gps and good humor. I had chosen to go with the more reserved, soft-spoken of my co-workers. What can I say? They paired better with tea than with the loud, pirate-hearted group that went the day before, I am fairly certain they snuck booze despite the prohibition against it, like I said, pirates. Not that I couldn’t hang with both, I absolutely could. And the temptation to burst into sea shanties was quite real, I assure you.

As we drew closer to our destination, the world around us began to shift. The foliage thinned, and the trees gave way to the briny breath of the sea. The air changed too, tinged with salt and carried on a breeze that hinted at something just beyond the horizon. We heard the call of gulls before we even saw the water. Then suddenly, there it was—a small forest of masts rising from the docks like white trees, standing in quiet anticipation.

Waiting for us at the dock was our fearless leader and Executive Director, Deb, who waved us down with her signature confidence. She led us up the wooden planks to our boat, where we were introduced to our captain for the day, Peggy’s husband, Captain Bob.

I was surprised by the size of the boat as it was deceptively spacious, like a magician’s trick. Every inch of it had a purpose. Storage tucked into nooks, seating that converted, a compact bathroom that came with very specific instructions. Bob walked us through the essentials with the seasoned calm of someone who knew that one improperly flushed toilet could quite ruin the whole experience.

After a short safety overview, it was time to sail. Bob asked for volunteers, and I naturally stepped forward to hoist the sails. He called out instructions with the steady ease of a man who’s done this a thousand times, while Peggy provided cheerful backup support. I took hold of the rope with both hands to gleefully, heave ho and all that. The wind caught, the sails filled, and the boat surged forward with a kind of wild grace.

From that moment on, everything shifted into something more elemental. The boat leaned into the wind, the ropes pulled taut, and the world became motion and sound—the rush of air, the splash of spray, the low groan of wood and rope in motion. It felt like stepping out of the everyday and into something ancient.

Those brave enough made their way to the prow, legs dangling over the edge, laughing as waves splashed up to greet them. Time didn’t pass in hours out there. It passed in shadows, in sunlight shifting on the water, in bursts of laughter and long silences where we just watched the horizon breathe.

Then came the offer I hadn’t expected, Bob asked if anyone wanted to steer.

Of course, I wanted to steer the ship!

Taking the wheel was like grabbing hold of something alive. The boat didn’t just move; it responded. The wind pulled one way, the water pushed another, and the rudder spoke a language I didn’t quite know but instinctively wanted to understand. Every twitch of my hands echoed through the vessel. I had to fight the urge to overcorrect—big boat, big movements, right? Wrong. It was the subtle shifts that mattered. I wasn’t just steering a boat, I was holding a moment in my hands, trying not to crush it. I shall admit, I was not the best helmsman, but it wasn’t bad for a first go! 

At lunchtime, I unveiled my small, slightly theatrical feast of tea sandwiches and scones. Though there was no clinking of teacups, people were quite amused by them. A delighted Peggy gasped when she spotted the clotted cream asking for where on earth I had found it; she hadn’t had clotted cream since she was in England years ago.

I smiled and told her, with all the drama she deserved, “The local grocery store.”

We laughed, we feasted, we sipped, and apart from poor Beth, who succumbed to a bit of seasickness, our tea at sea was a grand success.

The rest of the sail was a blend of freedom and focus, the hiss of waves, the sudden thrill of turning into the wind, the scent of salt and sun warming the deck. It was chaos and calm, all wrapped into one. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day for checking off my list. . 

By late afternoon, we returned to the dock. We changed into swimsuits and slipped into the pool, letting the cool water wash away the heat of the day. We splashed and floated, reluctant to let the water go.

That evening, we gathered for dinner at a local seafood spot, the kind with fresh-caught fish, buttery hushpuppies, and that oh, so infamous, Maryland crab. I will say the crab practically demanded a moment of silence in appreciation. Luckily for the crab, eating is just about the only time I am quiet. And just when we thought the day had ended, someone suggested a detour when they spotted a sign for ice cream. Because some days deserve a sweet ending. And this one? This one absolutely did.

So how can you enjoy a sailing adventure?

I’ll admit, not everyone has a friend with a boat—or a boss generous enough to invite you aboard. But that doesn’t mean a day at sea is out of reach. You can always charter a boat for yourself and a few intrepid comrades. Prices can range from around $200 to upwards of $2000, depending on the type of vessel and the duration of your trip. That said, splitting the cost among your group makes it much more manageable. If you’re like me and pack your own feast, you can trim expenses even further. The boat we sailed on would’ve likely cost each of us about $50 to $75 had we booked it ourselves. Sure, we probably wouldn’t have been trusted to hoist the sails or steer, but with seven of us, the cost would have been quite reasonable. 

This was one of those rare gifts from the universe, an unexpected adventure in the middle of a pandemic, at a time when most people could only dream of checking something off their list. I felt deeply grateful, especially after working so hard to help people who were experiencing homelessness with nowhere to go. Those long hours, with little reprieve and a general feeling of hopelessness at times to solve the problem can begin to wear on a person’s spirit. Sometimes, when you’re out there trying to do good, life surprises you with something beautiful in return.

So go ahead, pursue the good. You never know where it might take you, gentle reader.

How can you enjoy a day on the water?

Cost: Free (food was about 50) 

Miles from home: 115 miles

Completed 2020

Ready to break out of the mundane for something new? Check out my Bucket List and Reverse Bucket List for inspiration!

Visiting Exhibtions: When the World Comes to You

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Pennsylvania is known as the Keystone State in part because of its strategic position on the Eastern Seaboard. It sits at the heart of the action on the East Coast and, thanks to the Mississippi River, serves as a gateway to the West. This historic and geographical advantage means I have relatively easy access to some incredible places. By extension, when traveling exhibitions come to those places, it’s not a terrible imposition for me to make the trip. Cities like New York, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Pittsburgh, and Baltimore are all within reasonable distance.

It was by leveraging this advantage that I was able to see the Darwin exhibition at the American Museum of Natural History in New York, the King Tut exhibition in Philadelphia, and the Russian Tsars exhibition in Delaware. I’m not sharing this to brag about my state but rather to point out that, depending on where you are, you may be closer to the action than you realize. There are often more opportunities in your area than meet the eye.

The Darwin exhibition offered a fascinating look at the scientist’s life, work, and impact. It even featured two Galápagos giant tortoises. Darwin was a keen observer of nature, and through those observations, he developed one of the most revolutionary theories in the history of biology. His theory of evolution has shaped everything from genetics and epidemiology to biodiversity and our understanding of the fossil record. Prior to Darwin, most people saw the natural world as static and unchanging since the moment of creation. Instead, he proposed a dynamic and interdependent system in which relationships and exchanges alter the inhabitants of the world, who in turn shape their environment.

One of my favorite stories is how he looked at an orchid and hypothesized the existence of an undiscovered insect capable of pollinating it. That insect was discovered forty years after his death. This exhibit was the perfect combination of science, history, and anthropology. It showed how discoveries ripple outward into society and helped me understand just how interconnected everything truly is. Is it any wonder that seeing Darwin’s journals, tools, and legacy made its way onto my Bucket List?

Not to be outdone by New York, Philadelphia often hosts exhibitions and installations that rival its northern neighbor. Just because it’s the Keystone State doesn’t mean it lets the other states have all the fun. In the winter of 2007, I braved a snowstorm to visit the exhibition Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs at the Franklin Institute. The exhibition included fifty major objects from King Tut’s tomb—among them a vessel containing his mummified organs—and over seventy artifacts from the royalty of Egypt’s 18th Dynasty (1555 to 1305 BC), including a sarcophagus.

King Tut’s tomb was discovered in 1922, sparking a global fascination with ancient Egypt that still persists—my own obsession included. Many of these artifacts have rarely left Egypt, so I certainly wasn’t going to let a snowstorm stop me from seizing this rare opportunity. It was history made tangible, a brush with the ancient world that I’ll never forget.

In 1998, Delaware hosted the first major Tsarist exhibition, Nicholas and Alexandra, and I was lucky enough to see it on a fifth-grade field trip. It left a lasting impression on me. We had spent several weeks learning about Russia’s history leading up to the Bolshevik Revolution and the rise of the Communist Party. Featuring nearly 700 objects, it was one of the largest and most prestigious collections of Russian treasures ever to tour outside the country. Most of the items had never before left Russia.

Among the many items on display were the Coronation Egg, an imperial throne, court gowns and uniforms, a gilded state carriage, and artifacts from the Russian Orthodox Church. Even as a child, I was struck by the sheer opulence of the exhibit—particularly the Fabergé Egg, which felt all the more extravagant when considered against the suffering of the Russian people at the time. The experience helped solidify my understanding of the revolution and the dangers of unchecked power and inequality. I’ll avoid getting too political here, but suffice it to say, it made an impression.

Each of these exhibitions made my Bucket List for different reasons. Each one broadened my perspective, deepened my understanding, and shaped how I see the world. They weren’t just collections of artifacts; they were immersive experiences that gave context to history, society, culture, and their ongoing relevance today. Most importantly, they taught me that I don’t always need to travel far to experience the world. Sometimes, the world comes to me.

How Can You Experience Unique Exhibitions?

Start by identifying how far you’re willing to travel. Then make a list of major cities or cultural hubs within that radius—they’re your best bets for hosting large-scale or rare exhibitions. But don’t count out smaller museums, either.

Check their websites to find out when they release their exhibition calendars. I’ve found that many post their schedules for the coming year, although some are less predictable. Once you know when they update their schedules, you can simply mark your calendar to check back. If there’s no set schedule, just take note of when the current exhibition ends and plan to check again around that time.

If you’re searching for something specific—say, an artist or historical topic you love—an online search every six to eight months may yield results. Just be prepared to wait. Some exhibitions, like the Russian Tsars, are generational events.

Lastly, if you’re visiting a city you don’t often travel to, take a few minutes to see what exhibitions are currently on display. You never know what rare gem you might find. It’s easy to miss out by only checking travel sites when planning your trip.

Costs: Range in price from $15 – $25 for museum entrance

Miles from home: Range from a 35 miles to 150

Completed: Childhood – College

The world may not always seem like it’s just outside your door step, but it really can be! Don’t believe me? Check out my Bucket List and Reverse Bucket List for stories both near and afar that are sure to challenge those preconceived notions of what is possible.

Shhh, It’s a Secret: The Best Kept Secret of the Summer

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In the world before COVID, there was a growing tradition in my local city. A secret, invitation only pop-up party to kick off the summer season. One could only be invited. There was no ticket payment system or special way to get in. You simply reached out to have your name on a list. Then the list for invitees was opened and you could sign up to go (at least that is what happened the year I went and my sister went). Those in the know, knew how to find their way to this not well advertised gem. I heard about it through the grapevine, whispers in the community of such an event and with a little investigation, I found it.

Despite the location of the event being a closely held secret, the theme of the party was not. Fete en Blanc or Party in White was a premier event. Everyone, dressed up in white, brought their own picnic, wine, tables, chairs and table decorations to create the signature party of the summer. Courtesy of our hosts, they provided the decorations and music. You found yourself seated in a long row next to neighboring tables and just enjoying the spectacle. 

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Fete en Blanc is one of hundreds of white pop-up parties started in Paris in 1988. The theme has always been the same. No one knows where dinner will be until the last moment and everyone wears white. You bring your own table and chairs and until recently you provided your own food. The tradition has spread to hundreds of other cities around the world. Some of them do have a ticket fee. Some are more strict on what counts as white. Whereas many places will allow “pops” of color or off white, Philadelphia is a strict white only. It varies from place to place.

An army of volunteers helped to direct the crowd of people all overseen by an intrepid Master of Ceremonies to ensure all had a delightful time. The local park had been transformed into a magical world of floating spheres and twinkling lights. What made it special was precisely that it was not an event held only for those who could afford it. As tickets were free and by invite only, there was no monetary barrier to entry. As you were directed to sit wherever by the volunteers, one could easily find themselves shoulder to shoulder with Lancaster’s finest. Imagine what sort of friends one might make at such an event! 

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My sister and I did not have a table, so we spread ourselves out near the bottom of a tree. We enjoyed a spread of white wine, white cheese, white grapes, cauliflower and light crackers. After all, a party in white ought to have white food. However, me being myself, I could not resist just a small “pop” of  bright, pink color on my hat. I always did have to stand out in a crowd and besides, rules were made to be broken, darling! As we ate, a duo of drummers moved throughout the tables, their pops of color stark against the white of the crowd. Their enthusiasm was contagious and all to kick off the summer season!

After we ate, we meandered through the crowd taking in the different decorations that graced the tables. Those who were clearly experienced party goers had some truly elaborate displays in stark contrast to our simple set up. As the dusk settled, the atmosphere took on an almost dream-like quality. One could almost believe you had been transported into an in-between realm with the changing of the season. Was the veil between worlds just a little thin that night? Perhaps, it was the wine, perhaps it really was the magic of midsummer. 

We did not stay long into the night, both of us had work in the morning. So we packed up our small picnic and made our way out of the dream and back into reality. We were unable to snag tickets the following year in 2017 and in 2018, we determined we wanted to focus on new experiences rather than repeating ones we already had. Sadly, 2019, seems to have been the last year for Fete en Blanc at least for the Lancaster area. Covid came in 2020 canceling any plans for the event and I have not seen its return since. I hope to see its return one day as it was a truly special thing for our community. Perhaps with the advent of my new job I may have extra time on my hands and it is something I could organize here in my local community. It might be something to add to my list – throw a giant party for my community? What do you think dear reader?

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How can you experience a Fete en Blanc?

Well, as I said, our own local White Party does not seem to have returned after COVID, so if you happen to be in my area you will have to look further afield. If you do manage to locate one, be rest assured it is a difficult event to get into as most are lottery based given the demand for attendance typically overtakes the capacity of the given venue. In Paris, over 13,000 people may attend and they still do not have enough spaces for all the people who wish to go. Paris has a waitlist of over a million people and is considered one of the most exclusive dinner parties in the world. 

The copy-cats around the world are little different in terms of demand outpacing capacity. Almost all of them take place between May and September as a celebration of the summer and given that they occur all over the world, there is a very good chance you can find one in your area. Given the difficulty and exclusivity of such an event, you may dear reader feel a bit disheartened by the prospect of ever experiencing the spectacle yourself even if you are nearby. 

Now, what have we learned in such situations? When one cannot do a specific item, one can examine the principles and values of the experience. That is not to discourage you from throwing your hat in the ring and trying to get a coveted spot, after all most of the time it is a matter of throwing your name on a list and hoping your name is drawn. 

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In this case there are many festivals, events, parties and even secret going-ons that are occurring in your local community. One must merely be attuned to what might be happening around you. I found that the more I got out to do things the more things I found to do. Your friends and family start reaching out with cool ideas that might interest you for your next adventure. They start inviting you to things to do with them. Do you know the number of your friends and family who want to do things but have difficulty finding people to do things with? When you’re the person always going off and doing new things, you’re often the first person they call! 

I was not looking to do this party, I heard about it, signed up and snagged a coveted spot! I encourage you dear reader to get out and do! Soon enough you’ll be hearing about all the secrets your community has been hiding right under your nose! 

There is also another option. Given that all that is necessary is a venue, some music, white decor and a few friends, there is nothing to say that you can’t start your own Fete en Blanc tradition in your local community. Imagine being able to give a bucket list experience to not only yourself but your whole town as well? That’s how Lancaster got started and I hope to see its return soon.

Completed: June 2017

Miles from home: 11 

Cost: Free Invite – $30 for dinner supplies, I already had an entirely white outfit from my wardrobe

Now, while other people may be good at keeping secrets, clearly I am not. In fact, I’m revealing all my best secrets on how to have bucket list experiences on a budget both here on my Bucket List and here on my Reverse Bucket List.

This is a list of all the major cities that hosted a Fete en Blanc in 2018 

Seattle, Washington

Memphis, Tennessee

Charlotte, North Carolina

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 

Wilmington, Delaware 

Chicago, Illinois 

Washington, D.C.

Baltimore, Maryland 

Honolulu, Hawaii 

Boston, Massachusetts 

Charleston, South Carolina 

Albuquerque, New Mexico 

Cincinnati, Ohio 

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 

Long Island, New York 

New York, New York

Indianapolis, Indiana 

Los Angeles, California 

Sacramento, California 

Atlanta, Georgia

Fort Lauderdale, Florida 

Orange County, California

San Diego, California 

Dallas, Texas 

Houston, Texas 

Miami, Florida 

Orlando, Florida 

Rochester, New York 

West Palm Beach, Florida 

A Macabre House of Oddities 

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You may be familiar, dear reader, with the traveling shows, carnivals and even houses of “oddities” of yesteryear. Those peddlers of myths and horror to fascinate and perhaps even, scandalize their audience. The most famous of which would have been P.T. Barnum’s, Barnum & Bailey Circus home to such attractions as Myrtle Corbin the Four Legged Woman (a woman born with two pelvises and four legs), Fedor Jeftichuw, The Dog Boy (an individual with hypertrichosis), Isaac Sprague, the Feejee mermaid (a small monkey glued to the tail of a large fish), and many more. Though the “freak show” has been around since the medieval era (and probably before) where crowds would gather to see humans with deformities, it wasn’t until the Victorian Era that they fully matured into a for profit exhibition. It was Barnum’s “Greatest Show on Earth” that truly brought it to the forefront of American culture. Though not all abnormalities were real and were actually made up for the purposes of the show. While freak shows and circuses were exploitative, some, like P. T. Barnum’s Circus did pay well and was (for the time) quite progressive in its treatment of its “human oddities”. 

Under brightly colored fabric and dazzling lights, crowds of spectators stared in amazement at the parade of “strangeness” before them. This was in a time before movies and colored photographs where one might see such things otherwise. It was certainly before commercial flight where far flung places such as Siam and Turkey were easily accessible. Certainly before the internet where one could fact check to see that, there was no missing Albanian prince who was raised in a harem and that woman he claims is 160 years old, is in fact only 80. I imagine quite a few left the shows believing they had seen something truly remarkable and perhaps even mythical. Is it any wonder this was the same era for seances and contacting the dead?

When perusing freak shows and museums of strangeness, visitors unfamiliar with taxidermy were easily fooled by the macabre art  of combining parts of different animals to support outlandish claims of myth come true such as the Jackalope. They may also display artifacts such as cursed monkey paws or pictures. As America expanded its colonization of the New World, so too did folk stories of the legendary creatures and strange happenings such as sasquatch or the vampires of New England. All adding to the idea that the world is truly far stranger than science can account for. 

For the most part it seems that over the years, such places have dwindled down. The circuses no longer showcase individuals with abnormalities for exploitation and with medical advancements many are able to be addressed to improve quality of life. Nor are abnormalities viewed with such suspicion and fear, but are increasingly welcomed as a part of life. Most of the oddities have been lost, destroyed or merely forgotten. Although there are a few small roadside attractions which have collected or perhaps re-created various pieces of history in the same spirit of P. T. Barnum who when accused of duping the public with hoaxes responded “I don’t believe in duping the public, but I believe in first attracting and then pleasing them.” So it made no difference to me if what I was looking at was truly the same pair of pants from Barnum’s giant or just a really large pair of pants. That’s part of the charm, it is a house of hoaxes. Perhaps, it is fun to pretend for a bit.

It was with this strange and controversial history in mind, that I went to the House of Oddities and Curious Goods in Elizabethtown, PA. This free museum was the beneficiary of a now closed down Gettysburg Dime Museum preserving Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy (from P. T. Barnum’s circus) and Edgar the Alligator Man. The house certainly captures the odd mixture of barely contained horror and ridiculousness. Like almost all museums of this nature there is little rhyme or reason to the displays as everything is haphazardly squeezed together. Everywhere one looks there is a new, at times stomach churning, oddity as music reminiscent of the circuses of old plays in the background. 

It was a small place of barely two rooms, though the second room was more of a back hallway. Most of it were obvious hoaxes that at one time fascinated the public and led the more easily duped into belief that monsters truly do exist. There were a few genuine gems such as the alligators who had been deformed due to improper disposal of chemicals in the neighboring bayous. Some of the items had small paper “plaques” with explanations of what they were, but most were left to my imagination. I found most of it to be a strange mix of delight and eerie. It was truly like stepping into the beginning of a horror movie. The only thing missing was the creepy person offering to tell your fortune or to sell you some cursed object. Actually, there was a small offer to purchase some cursed objects at the front, but I kindly passed and instead put a small donation in the box (after all, one should probably avoid the ire of the owner of so many “cursed and powerful objects”). 

The museum was less a museum of true oddities and more an experiential museum of what people may have seen in decades past and how they thought of seemingly unexplainable phenomena. It was intriguing to see how people interpreted scant pieces of data and extrapolated it out as evidence for monsters. I wondered how many people walk away from it truly believing in what they see or if, like me, they find it a fascinating piece of living history of a time and phenomena of when such shows were taken seriously. Of a time when the world still held a hint of magic before all the maps were filled in and science explained most of what we experience. Do not get me wrong, I like living in the era I live in now, but we don’t have a must mystery as we once did. Still, I can now tell people I have beheld one of the legendary Giants of Lovelock Cave and a Wolpertinger! 

Ready for your own adventure into the macabre, mysterious and strange?

Obviously a google search of your local area would be easiest. However, it can be a bit difficult to know precisely what to google “freak show”, “museum” “house of oddities”, “curiosity house”. You may need to play around with the precise terms of your search as they are not (to my knowledge) the most popular of attractions. I have stumbled upon the site https://www.roadsideamerica.com which may be a good source for not only such places as these but also other fun attractions not readily advertised. I was surprised by the number of curiosity houses listed nearby that I had never heard of before. 

Completed: Early 2025

Cost: Suggested Donation $5

Miles from home: 20

There are certainly more unique and interesting discoveries to be made and some of them can be found on my Bucket List and Reverse Bucket List.

A Trip Back in Time: Tubing at Sickman’s Mill

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Ah, summer. What springs to mind when we think of those blazing hot days and long evenings? Cookouts and water games, people gathered round, laughing gaily as dogs drift in and among the crowd, children playing lawn games? The reality is that, sadly, summer is spent far too often on our phones. Even when out and about, they are an ever-present distraction. Speaking with strangers is practically taboo, lest you disrupt their very important text conversation or latest social media doom-scrolling venture. There are few sanctuaries of the bygone eras where summer meant a blissful abandonment of the world for nature and all her bountiful glory.

It was one such sanctuary that I happened upon on a summer morning—not entirely by accident, as I had made plans to go—but I was surprised to discover that Sickman’s Mill was such a place. Nestled in the southern part of Lancaster County, it doesn’t have the best reception, and lacking any Wi-Fi, one is forced, as their sign proudly declares, to pretend it’s 1969 and talk to other people. I found the bartenders friendly and hospitable, eager to make me feel welcome to a party I didn’t know I’d been invited to as I awaited my friend Kayla’s arrival. They assured me that despite the weather forecast for potential showers, I would still be able to participate in the not-quite-forgotten summer tradition of tubing down a river.

Almost as soon as there were rubber inner tubes leftover from tires, there have been people putting tubs in rivers and floating down them. What could be a more relaxing way to beat the summer heat? After a trip down the Pequea Creek, I’m not sure I can answer that question. It was the perfect panacea for the blistering heat of the season.

The rain from the night before had raised the creek’s levels and left the morning quite comfortable. The clouds that had threatened thunderstorms gave way to beautiful blue skies, allowing dappled rays of sunlight to stream down through the trees. The crowds had not yet arrived, leaving the creek mostly to ourselves to enjoy the sounds of nature all around us. Occasionally, we were treated to faster-moving sections as the water flowed rapidly over a series of rocks. The only main concern was the occasional felled tree that created unexpected obstacles, but aside from those minor disruptions, it was a beautifully relaxing trip.

The entire route took us about an hour to complete, as the creek was moving more rapidly that morning due to the recent rainfall. It can take up to two hours when the water is slower. We were directed by a polite young man to get out of our tubes and climb the convenient stairs to await a bus that would transport us back to the mill. We didn’t need to wait long before it came lumbering up the lane, and after another group disembarked from the creek to board, we were on our way. It was a short but delightful ride through the countryside.

The old mill itself was not open for exploration, but they more than made up for it with the bar affectionately named Jimmy’s Place after the family’s dog. Naturally, Kayla and I tried the Jimmy Juice—all four flavors. She had the Pineapple and Cranberry, whereas I enjoyed an Orange and a Ginger. Our favorites were the Pineapple and the Ginger, and we were able to take a four-pack home to share. For food, we went only a few feet away from the bar to Mama T’s. I learned the name is a bit of a joke, as Mama T is by all accounts a terrible cook. Don’t worry—the food was quite delicious and includes vegetarian options. Prices ranged from $5 for a slice of sourdough pizza to the more expensive Mama T Burger at $14. The portion sizes were as generous as the people serving us.

When we returned to the mill, we were surprised to see that the sleepy bar had transformed into an impromptu party. Dogs ran among the people and splashed into the creek with their owners. Some had taken chairs to sit directly in the creek while sipping on the infamous Jimmy Juice, a vodka-based cocktail. Children and adults played lawn games together, and everywhere I looked, people were actually talking to each other instead of scrolling on their phones. It felt as if I had indeed been transported back to 1969. I even had the distinct pleasure of meeting Mama T, who had just landed from Ireland.

It would seem that while the mill has taken on many purposes in its 250-plus years of existence, it remains timeless. One certainly feels as if time simply melts away. Hours and minutes blend together as the party stretches into the afternoon. You forget to check the time, and text messages go unanswered—if they even get through the spotty reception. It is a place to forget the modern world and embrace the echoes of summers past. Though I wouldn’t have thought it all that different from a lazy river at an amusement park, there was something special about tubing down a real river in the middle of the woods. It may be a relic of an era now gone, but it remains a time-honored tradition. As long as there are tubes and rivers, people will continue to float down them.

How can you go tubing?

Luckily, the United States is dotted with rivers, and if nothing else, you can probably find one nearby to float down—provided you have a tube. It’s recommended to bring a friend along and park your cars in two different places unless you find a spot like Sickman’s Mill where you can rent a tube and catch a bus ride back. It’s a bit more adventurous doing it yourself. Though I must confess, as someone with a poor sense of direction, I’d likely miss the designated pickup spot, drift miles downriver, and end up hopelessly lost.

If you don’t want to go the DIY route, finding a place like Sickman’s is usually as simple as Googling “water tubing.” There are plenty of places that offer this kind of summer activity. I can’t promise they’ll all have the same family cookout atmosphere, but the river experience will be similar. I do think there’s something magical about finding a place where cell service isn’t great and Wi-Fi isn’t available. It encourages people to put their phones away and genuinely engage with each other.

Completed: August 2024
Cost: $25 for tubing ($40 additional for drinks and food)
Miles from home: 20
Potentially time warped: 55 years into the past

Be sure to check out my other adventures on my Bucket List and if you’re looking to travel back in time again with me, check out my Reverse Bucket List.

Water Lantern: A Festival of Reflection 

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It was a warm summer evening, when my sister and I embarked on a journey to the far east or rather to partake in some food and traditions imported from Asia to the United States. This particular evening, we were attended a Water Lantern Festival. One of the amazing things about America is our immigrant roots, welcoming people from across the globe. These people come and bring with them their culture, traditions, beliefs, music and cuisines. It is what makes America a rich, cultural tapestry of endless variety.

We began our journey by stopping at a Thai restaurant which is owned and operated by Thai people. I always get excited when I can stop at places owned by people who intimately understand the cuisine they are cooking, whether that be because they are originally from there, have family originally from there or spent enough time in careful study to obtain a level of mastery in the authentic way the cuisine ought to be prepared. As someone who doesn’t necessarily have the money to hop on a plane to experience authentic Thai food, I appreciated the opportunity and the culinary skill of the chef. Dinner was a delicious red curry, since I cannot resist a menu item with Thai Basil and my sister had their drunken noodles of which I stole a few bites. 

After dinner, we headed over to Harrisburg to the Italian garden where the Water Lantern Fest would be held. The Italian garden is beautiful in its own right, but it was extra festive for the fest and the weather proved to be perfect. It wasn’t too hot, nor was it chilly. The blue sky was clear overhead and it promised to be a lovely evening. It took us a little time to locate the actual stand to obtain the water lanterns as the park was open for all to enjoy. We did eventually find the true “entrance” to the fest by asking some people for directions and headed up the hill to obtain our goodie bags and lanterns. After claiming our prizes, we walked around the end of the manmade lake to find a good spot under the shade of a tree. 

I had attended a lantern fest before, where you release lanterns into the sky which took on a more party atmosphere for the people attending with music and bounce houses, bonfires and food trucks. This one had most of those things tucked away from the main event so that you could still enjoy vendors, food and other activities, but it did not distract from what you were there to do.  Nor was the crowd quite as big as at the Lantern Fest which was just as well, since I tend to favor smaller events to the massive crowds. What I enjoyed about this one was the more subdued and even reflective atmosphere. Flags proudly proclaimed things like gratitude, healing, love and connection, encouraging you to reflect rather than party. The crowd was fairly quiet with many people conversing with their heads together, smiling and laughing. The goodie bag even included conversation cards with prompts to start deeper discussions with the people you were with in order to foster deeper connections. My sister and I were delighted by these and have taken them out at other occasions and have found them to be great at prompting conversations. 

The kit for the lantern included a wooden base, a lantern which could be written upon and a small led candle to turn on and place in the lantern. We noted that most of the lantern components could be reused, recycled or easily be broken down in the environment. Being a manmade lake, the lanterns were in no danger of polluting local waterways or interfering with native wildlife. In addition, the event organizer One World proudly supports water.org. Water.org is an organization which focuses on increasing global access to safe drinking water. They include an informational pamphlet and easy options to donate to raise money to support this cause. I love it when an event is able to go beyond just an enjoyable evening and helps to provide a positive impact.

I decorated my lantern with things that I was grateful for and my sister decorated hers with art including a celtic knot and a flowers. Once the sun slipped beneath the horizon, they asked us to gather around the edges of the lake and to pause for reflection. Then they invited us to release our lanterns to allow them to float upon the water. One by one, they spread out, glittering together like stars. As I stepped back to take in the sight, I was able to let out a deep sigh of contentment. Naturally, we snapped a few photos, but mostly my sister and I just walked along the path enjoying the sight and quietly conversing. 

It should be noted that while my dinner was still firmly rooted in its culture of origin, the Water Lantern Fest was less so. Water Lamps originated in India and spread throughout Asia most likely through Buddhist diffusion. They appear in many festivals and have many meanings ranging from worshiping gods, praying for a good marriage, welcoming happiness, guiding the spirits of the departed or welcoming happiness. In Vietnam, there is a town which releases them quite frequently. In China, they are released throughout the year. In Japan, they usually release them to help guide the souls of the dead to the spirit world and allows for reflection for lost loved ones. Sometimes, things are lost in translation especially as it gets diffused across different cultures as it has in Asia since they have a lot of different meanings all over the continent.

Still, despite being a bit unmoored from its roots, it still felt as if it were in the spirit of the original customs. Where other events encourage a sort of frantic, frenanic frenzy of activity, this festival invited you to slow down, to pause and reflect. It encouraged building relationships between people and being more mindful of your surroundings. They also allowed people to come up to a microphone and share their stories. Some people shared their loss, others shared their victories, whereas others shared gratitude. There were lanterns that people dedicated to their loved ones. In a sense, the festival was a melting pot of the many traditions associated with water lanterns from Asia and transforming into something uniquely American. It certainly was not an authentic experience, but it falls under my “good enough” category. 

How can you experience a Water Lantern Fest?

The best way is to go to their website WaterLanternFestival.com and click on your state to see when they might be coming to you. I encourage you to buy tickets early since they increase in price as the date approaches. 

However, there is nothing to stop you from ordering some lanterns and LED candles and hosting your own smaller version with a group of friends. Although, it doesn’t quite hold a candle (pun intended) to seeing a few hundred floating all together, their reflections shimmering in the darkness of the water. It is also important to note that there may be local ordinances preventing such an activity and you would need to ensure proper clean up. After all, we want to keep our local environments beautiful so we can continue to enjoy it for years to come.

Completed: July 15, 2023

Cost: $36 per person (was advertised as $27 but there were vendor fees)

Miles from home: 45 

How To Cultivate Opportunities

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At the end of most of my posts, I will write a little “How You Can” section so that if something I have done peaks your interest, you have a starting point. However, one may very well wonder how I’ve gathered this information in the first place. After all, how did I discover the Wolf Sanctuary or the Firebird Festival or the Wine and Cheese Tasting on the Train? How have I cultivated opportunities for myself to check off my list or to add new things? 

Simply put, I have a few go-to places for inspiration that I regularly check and encourage you, dear reader, to do the same. The first is Onlyinyourstate or atlas obscura to discover unique things that are in my area. Now, Onlyinyourstate isn’t exactly the most accurate name, after all there are many states that share common experiences, it would be more aptly named “collection of cool things to see and do in your state” – that is understandably less catchy, but some of us are sticklers for accuracy. The website is semi-easy to navigate. You click on your state and it brings up a long list of various posts of interesting sights to see and things to do. What makes it difficult is many posts are repetitive, and some of the listed items have closed or are no longer available to the public. 

Since at this point, they’ve pretty much covered most of the things to do, newer posts just tend to rehash what has already been written about but as new things do get added occasionally, one still has to sift through to find the gems. Atlasobscura is similar in both scope and difficulty of use. There are other websites that are similar, such as PAbucklist.com, but I have yet to find one that organizes itself really well. I review these sites maybe once every 6-12 months. Despite their difficulty in use, I still recommend visiting at least once, especially if you are at the start of your Bucket List journey. They not only can help you discover how to check off your list, but also can open your eyes to new and novel possibilities you’ve never even thought of before. 

One of my biggest go-to’s is Facebook Events which I will typically review once to twice a month as it is being continually updated. It’s where I’ve discovered most of my events, festivals and workshops.On almost any given week, I could log on and find something that would interest me for the upcoming weekend and many of the events are relatively cheap or free. It’s become one of the main things I use Facebook for. That’s how I found out about the Christkindlmarkt and Eco-dying. I pay attention to my local newspaper as well checking out announcements from my community which the Facebook algorithm may have missed. 

I also keep a running list of the museums, colleges, universities and theaters in the area making sure to check at the beginning of each season. Depending on the venue, most of the time this means the beginning of the year in January or in July.  That’s how I discovered the Da Vinci Exhibit at the Reading Museum and the performance of Drum Tao at Millersville University. Even smaller universities and colleges can have amazing events and opportunities. In 2016, my small Christian College hosted a presidential debate for the DNC primaries between Obama and Clinton. I have often been surprised at what a small venue can pull off and because of their smaller size many of their events are more intimate affairs. So don’t write off your own smaller venues just yet, dear reader. 

Consider other attractions in your area: aquariums, zoos, community centers and even parks may play host to your dreams. Longs Park in Lancaster City has a summer music series that has brought some serious talent to its small stage for free, opening the opportunity for many to enjoy live concerts and other performances. It was the stage that introduced me to Shakespeare as a child. You will be surprised at the wide variety of opportunities these places offer and often for free or greatly reduced cost. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There is also a simple google search. I will do this for things that may take a little creativity or require me to go a little farther afield than my typical roaming grounds. For example, I read about grape stomping in Italy. It seemed like it would be a fun thing to try. I hadn’t seen it on any previous intel missions to my usual corners of the internet, so I did what any good millennial would do, I went to google to start to see if there were any wineries nearby that would indulge in this ancient tradition. As it turns out there is one in the neighboring state of New Jersey. 

Once I discover a place in a reasonable vicinity (typically no more than 2 hours away unless I really want to make a day of it), I will make a note on my list for future reference. I won’t necessarily rush to go do it just that moment, but I will keep the information tucked away until I have need of it or for when the time is right. Perhaps, if I find myself making plans and I will be in the area anyways then I will tack on my item to the trip. I may also make specific plans to complete the item but cross reference my list to see if there are any other items that may be nearby. I am after all all about being efficient with my time and resources. 

The final way is that my friends and family know that I am always on the hunt for new and novel things to try, so word of mouth goes a long way. When they see something cool that they know I might like to try, they tell me or even better invite me to join them! 

As you can see, dear reader, I am not someone who sits around waiting for good things to come to her. Sometimes the fates need a little nudge. It’s about keeping your eyes and ears open, seeking opportunities and being mindful of what might be around the corner. It doesn’t mean that I can necessarily jump at every opportunity that comes my way or thing that I discover, I have (as of this writing) yet to go indoor skydiving, learn to pole dance, spend time at the alpaca farm, learn a signature dish from a cook or go grape stomping. However, I have pretty good leads on where I might do those things. Which is half the fun! I always have a list of potential adventures I could go on. There’s almost always something new around the corner waiting for me to discover and with only one glaring exception are all within a hour’s drive from my house (most are within 30 minutes). Who needs to dream of escaping your corner of the world to far flung places when it’s so full of excitement? 

Baldwin’s Bookstore: Beautiful Books! 

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Book lovers know the allure of bookstores and libraries. There’s something about walking into these sanctuaries of knowledge and stories. The distinct smell of the books, the quiet atmosphere that is seldom found in other public spaces, the aesthetic symmetry of rows and rows of carefully shelved worlds. The promise that an entire universe may be unlocked with just the turn of a page. The stories almost seem to whisper an invitation and your fingers start to itch with an eagerness to begin the search. So many dance partners want to fill your card and it is almost dizzying. 

There is even something extra special about a bookstore that offers a little more. Beautiful bookstores, charming bookstores, the ones with cats and tea, the ones with stacks upon stacks of books. Ones that even use books as structures like the book tunnel in L.A.’s famous Last Bookstore. Baldwin’s bookstore is just the sort of bookstore for booklovers. Named one of the most beautiful Bookstores in America, this hidden treasure of Chester County can be easily overlooked if one is not careful. 

Seriously, you can drive right by it and not even notice that you’ve passed it as outside it is an unassuming stone barn. One would never guess that it houses 5 stories of books and has a sizeable collection of rare and antique books. As it is primarily a used bookstore, it is always a treasure hunt and one never knows what one will find tucked away on the shelves. It is so large and extensive that it has a map for visitors at the front and even with the map, one can find oneself semi-lost among the stacks of books. 

A quirk of the bookstore is that many of the shelves are not shelves at all, but rather nailed together crates. This charming store invites you to venture up stairs to ever higher levels. Tucked around every corner are chairs, some more enticing than others, for you to sit and read to your heart’s content. It would be easy to spend hours if not days inside the store. 

My sister and I ventured forth on a cold’s winter’s day after grabbing breakfast together at a coffee shop near my house. We had saved this particular outing for the colder months as we are not overly fond of extreme hot or cold weather. It is always good to have a few indoor activities in your back pocket for those times when it is simply too miserable to spend much time outdoors. 

Upon entering the store, we were greeted by a delightful display of older and rare books. We breathed in deep, savoring the familiar smell of books. The older gentleman behind the front desk said good morning and inquired as to whether it was our first time to the store. He showed up the map and politely explained the general layout of the store and encouraged us to peak in the backroom which housed a few artifacts from when this barn was also a home. After the short orientation, we began our exploration of the store. 

We carefully meandered through the rows of books of over 300,000 books, stopping to peruse for overlooked gems. One of the gems was the map of Philadelphia from over 100 years ago displayed on a table (not for sale). Both my sister and I adore old maps, so it was an unexpected treat to be able to sit and study it before continuing our book adventure. 

One thing of note for the taller readers, there are numerous signs to “duck” when going up and down the stairs, so be wary when transitioning between floors. Despite being in a barn, most of the areas were quite comfortable with only one or two places lacking in proper insulation for the temperature to be comfortable. We did stop to take a few pictures of ourselves in the books. 

It was easy to see why it was named one of the loveliest bookstores both inside and out. The original stone building was built in 1822 and the rustic shelving and floors only add to its charm. Sadly, I did not spy any of the rumored cats said to be residing in the barn. It is possible they were sleeping in a corner somewhere or perhaps they were no longer in residence.

My sister and I found a few treasures and made our way down the steps to the front of the building for our purchases. Satisfied with our treasure hunt, we went home to enjoy our books. I am certain that I will make the journey again for another visit. After all, with an ever changing inventory there is certain to be other diamonds in the rough to find in the future. 

How can you visit a beautiful bookstore?

Bookstores abound and business is booming. Something good that came out of the pandemic was the increased demand for real things, real recommendations from real people. We’re wired for community and connection, something that a digital reality can’t really replicate (though they do try). Not only are books a form of entertainment, but also people are forming communities around books. Bookstores are also one of the few places that seemed to sell a variety of board and card games aimed at adults. Bookstores have become hubs of community and connection. 

Going to Indie and used bookstores like Baldwin’s is often a treat not only for finding books but also for the atmosphere they provide. I encourage you to seek out the hole in the wall places. They don’t necessarily have to make a list of “most beautiful” because with all the hundreds of bookstores, how could a writer of a popular magazine or blog really know if they missed yours? And besides beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

Living Your Best Life

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We often hear or even say the phrase “living my best life”, but what does it actually mean? Is it being able to reach your goals? To live a full life? What is a full life? In general when we use say look at this person living their best life, we usually see someone who has fully embraced being themselves without caring what others think. But how do we even know that they really are living their best life? What does a “best life” even entail? It probably does and should look different for different people. What makes my life “best” isn’t what will make your life “best”. There are, of course, guiding principles. After all, this whole blog is in part to help people live better lives. For most people a best life is one that comes from connection to others and a sense of meaning or purpose without worrying too much about the judgment of people. 

There are a myriad of ways to arrive at those two things. I have seen lists of anywhere from 6 items to 30 items of how to arrive at a “best life” or to live a fuller one. Some of these lists even conflict with each other like focusing on yourself and your own personal growth yet being “other” centered. If you grew up in the Christian community you may have been told that JOY comes by putting Jesus first, others second and yourself last. All well and good, until you stop caring for yourself at all and forgetting that you can’t help other people if you haven’t been taking care of yourself first. On the other hand, always putting yourself first is obviously narcissistic and self-ish, certainly not the way to form meaningful connections to others. How to reconcile the two conflicting sides? 

This post isn’t necessarily to tell you how to arrive at those two things, more to get you to try and think about what might help you get there. As illustrated above, there are people for whom the advice of putting yourself first is absolutely necessary! I talk about boundaries and self-care in other posts precisely because putting my own needs last was something I struggled with leading to burn out, resentment and bitterness. Not things that helped my relationships. 

However, there are certainly many people who need to be told to put others at the center and to focus on getting out of their own world and be more mindful about how their actions affect others. The character of Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol certainly needed that lesson lest he find himself cast into hell for his self-centeredness. All things in moderation I suppose. 

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

For some people living their best life may be learning to let go of stress and worries, for other people it may be that they need to worry about the future a little more. You may need to learn to stop caring so much about what others think or you may want to consider others opinions a little more. The path to a “best life” is one that is always evolving and changing. Each person is an individual and what their best life looks like is going to be different. 

One of the best ways to achieve a best life is through self-reflection. 

After all, how do we know what we need to learn and how do we know when we’re being ourselves if we don’t take time to self-reflect? One way to really get to know ourselves is to “talk to ourselves”, not in the crazy person sort of way, but through journaling. I often find myself surprised by some of the things that come out of my own journaling where I let the flow of the subconscious go where it will. I may look for various prompts to consider to help jump start my self-exploration. There are also journals out there geared to specific topics or goals. For journaling to be truly effective requires us to be really honest with ourselves willing to face possibly ugly truths. 

Journaling can also help us explore our relationships to help us determine if we are truly connected to others. In learning more about ourselves, would we be able to share these insights with those closest to us? Do we have people who we can truly express ourselves and be vulnerable with? True connection to others means that you can be authentically yourself. After all, some of the loneliest people on the planet are those who are extremely popular. Why? Because in pursuing being liked by everyone, they are too afraid to show their real selves lest they be rejected. The hard truth is that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but you have a choice to make, be your authentic self to have real connection with others or disguise yourself and be alone.  

This can be extremely difficult because it requires us to live without fear of the judgment of others, which is the main reason so many of us choose to live inauthentic lives and to settle for relationships that are shallow. However, this is a key piece of living our best lives. As I said at the beginning of this post, when we say “look at this person living their best life” it’s often said as a form of respect for someone who clearly doesn’t give a “f” what others think. They’re the people walking down the street dressed outrageously. The people dancing in the street to a musician. The ones who call you darling as they don a hat before splashing in a fountain. They laugh too loud, love too deeply, hear poetry in the rain and see works of art in the swirling of leaves in the wind. They may also be the ones who aren’t afraid to piss people off with how they view the world, unafraid to speak up and speak out. However they live, they are authentically and unapologetically themselves. 

I danced for these street musicians as if no one was watching!

Living authentically isn’t being a jerk about it though. These are people who don’t care if they tick people off but they don’t purposefully go out of their way to do so. It isn’t about being mean. It’s about respectfully disagreeing and holding themselves apart from the judgment of others. It’s more of a live and let live attitude. Like okay, you don’t like that I live my life this way, but it’s no skin off your nose and I don’t have to listen to your criticisms about it if they aren’t constructive or useful. Someone living their best life knows that bees don’t argue with flies that honey is better than crap.

Another benefit to journaling is it can allow us to consider another aspect to a best life, living with purpose. I’m not here to tell you what a purposeful life is or is not. Each of us has a calling. Each of us has a gift or talent. I can’t tell you what those are because I’m not you. In general, a purposeful life involves leaving the world a better place, and helping others. Some people may have very obvious purposes like teachers, nurses and EMT workers. Teaching the next generation, healing the sick and protecting others are all very obviously meaningful things to do based on the values of our society. 

However, almost any job can be infused with meaning when placed into a larger context of helping others. Nor does your purpose have to be tied to your job. I once interned for a group of businessmen who invested money. They were quite good at it, but rather than simply take all the money for profit, they used it to open an orphanage in Africa. This orphanage did not stop assistance at the age of 18, but rather continued to invest in the children, helping them obtain higher education. The children were able to start businesses in their local community and become leaders thus laying a firm foundation for independence in the region. Their calling was to help disadvantaged children and to grow a community in Africa even though their jobs had almost nothing to do directly with this calling. Your talents and your calling may be seemingly disparate things that nonetheless are yours. 

There are, afterall, lots of ways to leave the world a better place.Talents don’t have to be utilized in a specific way. Your job doesn’t have to exactly match your calling. It’s certainly easy when the two directly align, but sometimes they may seem completely disconnected. You also don’t have to have your calling address every ill in the world to leave it a better place. Some people’s calling is to focus on the environment, others may have a calling to help sick children. Both are worthy callings that do not negate the other nor is one automatically better than the other. There are unfortunately a lot of problems in the world and there’s just no way for each of us to address all of them all at once. That isn’t to say don’t do what you can for the problems of the world, do the part you can. Your calling is the thing you focus on. 

The point is for you to determine for yourself what your talents are and how to apply them to your specific calling. I will probably write a more extensive post on a purposeful life, but as I said earlier this post is more to help you start to consider what a best life is and how you might start to consider what your best life looks like. To be honest, I’m still figuring it out. One of the reasons I have a bucket list is to try new things, complete new challenges, to grow, and learn more about myself. 

So what are you waiting for? Go forth, dear reader, and start living your authentic best life!