mindful living – Budget Bliss: Bucket List

There comes a point in adulthood when you look around at your own life and realize just how much of it was built from other people’s expectations. Parents, partners, coworkers, even strangers on the internet all seem to carry opinions about what a “good” life should look like whether that’s the classic white picket fence and 2 kids, jetting around the world or having that corner office. With the shorter days and colder nights which entice us to stay inside sipping a warm cup of tea, December has a way of handing us a quiet pause in the middle of all that noise. In that stillness you can ask a gentler and more liberating question: What if the best gift you give yourself this year is a life that actually fits you? Not a life you are supposed to want. Not a life that earns gold stars. A life that feels like home when you step into it.

Most of us carry at least a few pieces of life that no longer fit. A commitment you keep out of habit. A routine that once served you but now drains you. A goal you set years ago that you are still dragging around even though it no longer reflects who you are. Just like clothes that shrink in the dryer, some roles tighten over time until they restrict your movement. One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is to notice what feels constricting. If something consistently brings dread or resentment, it deserves a second look.

Try asking yourself: What do I continue to do only because I feel I should? What parts of my week feel like a performance? What drains me more than it fills me? These small gut checks can reveal more truth than grand resolutions ever will. Because often resolutions are about adding things to our lives when maybe we should be asking what isn’t serving us anymore.

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels.com

Permission to Want What You Want

Wanting something different for your life can feel almost rebellious. We are taught early that desire is selfish or impractical. Yet desire is really a compass. It points you toward what brings meaning. The permission you refuse to give yourself is often the permission you most need. You are allowed to want a simple life. You are allowed to want a bold one. You are allowed to want rest, creativity, adventure, peace or a mix of them.

Let go of the guilt around wanting something others do not understand. You do not have to justify your dream life like it is a court case. Your preferences do not require a panel of approval. They only require your honesty. After all, the only person who gets to live your life is you. They have their own.

Every person inherits a set of default settings. These can be expectations from family, cultural messages or values absorbed without question. Some defaults are helpful. Others keep you living a script that never belonged to you. December is an ideal moment to ask where those settings came from. Did you choose them or were they assigned to you? Are they aligned with who you are now or with a past version of you who no longer exists?

Letting go does not always require a dramatic overhaul. It can be as simple as replacing one outdated belief with a more generous one. It can be as quiet as deciding your worth is not measured by productivity. Sometimes the life that fits begins with subtracting what never matched your shape in the first place.

Crafting a Life That Fits

Once you clear the space, you can begin creating a life that feels right in your hands. Think of it like tailoring. Small adjustments can change everything. You might shift your morning routine to match your natural rhythm. You might redefine what rest means so it supports you instead of feeling like a guilty pleasure. You might choose relationships that nourish you instead of ones that keep you hustling for belonging.

Crafting a life that fits is not a single grand gesture. It is a set of choices made consistently. When something feels peaceful instead of performative, you are moving in the right direction.

A good life should give you room. Room to breathe. Room to change your mind. Room to fail safely. Room to explore new interests without embarrassment. If your life feels like a tight shoe, it is not a sign that you need to force yourself into it. It is a sign that you need to loosen the laces. When you prioritize a life that can expand with you, you trade perfection for sustainability. You also create conditions in which joy can actually take root instead of feeling like a visitor.

A Gift You Keep Giving Yourself

The gift of a well-fitting life is not wrapped once and placed under a tree. It is something you give yourself again and again. Through honesty. Through reflection. Through paying attention to what your life is telling you. You will outgrow some things. You will discover new ones. You will learn what brings you back to yourself. The point is not to build a life that looks impressive. The point is to build one that feels true.

As this year winds down, take a moment to appreciate the small ways you have already reshaped your life into something more authentic. And if you have not started yet, that is all right. The gift is not in the timing. The gift is in choosing yourself.

I know, dear reader, this might be the last place you’d expect to find a defense of boredom. After all, many of you probably clicked here to escape boredom, not embrace it. I may even be digging my own blogging grave by suggesting you spend less time scrolling and more time staring at your ceiling. But this space was never meant to trap you for hours. Its intention has always been to help you live a fuller, more mindful life, without breaking the bank.

As someone with ADHD, the idea of boredom used to feel impossible. Tedium was my sworn enemy. Yet I’ve come to realize that boredom is a rare luxury these days. With our phones glued to our palms, we rarely get the stillness that allows us to simply be.

And here’s the secret: boredom isn’t the enemy. It’s the birthplace of philosophy, creativity, and growth.

Why We Need Boredom

When you’re left alone with your thoughts, they can be loud, uncomfortable, even overwhelming. But without that discomfort, how can you truly know yourself? When do you ever stop to ask:

Am I on the right path?
Are my relationships enriching or draining me?
What do I actually want out of this short, strange life?

Noise drowns out those questions. Silence, and yes, boredom, makes space for them. And while the answers might not always be pleasant, they’re necessary for meaningful growth. It’s only when we ask those questions that we begin to fully develop a meaningful life which according to some researchers may be the antidote for the crushing anxiety we’ve all been feeling. According to Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks, it is the lack of meaning that drives so much of our modern world’s anxiety and depression and boredom would be part of the cure!

Boredom also boosts creativity. When the mind wanders, it problem-solves. Einstein famously worked at the Swiss Patent Office for seven years, a job so dull it practically begs for daydreaming. Out of that monotony came some of the most groundbreaking ideas in physics. Imagine what we might uncover if we swapped YouTube shorts for a little mental white space. You may be quite shocked at what problems you solve whilst driving your car.

Finally, boredom sparks curiosity. That restless itch pushes us to seek out novelty, to wander past the familiar bend in the road. Dissatisfaction with the status quo has always been the engine of human progress. It’s what drove Columbus to set sail and spark the West’s discovery of the world. It’s what drove the Wright Brothers to the sky. It’s what made humanity ask “what is up there in the vast expanse above us?”

Boredom in Real Life

Some of my best ideas have come when I was bored. This very blog was born while I was gardening. Insights about my therapy clients have surfaced while I was elbow-deep in dishes. I’ve written entire stories in my head while waiting in line, or mulled over questions of faith while driving down long stretches of highway.

Boredom isn’t wasted time, it’s compost. Given space, it grows something new.

How to Reclaim It

So how do you let boredom back in? Start small.

Turn off your podcast or music while you drive or clean.
Try a tech-free meal and see what real conversation shows up.
Block out one phone-free evening a week.
Take breaks from social media, or better yet, set parental controls on yourself.
Use your phone’s Do Not Disturb mode generously (you can allow emergency calls to still come through).

Will it be fun at first? No. That’s the point. But over time, you’ll come to see boredom not as an absence but as an opening. I’ve even started protecting mine, because that mental wandering is often far richer than anything TikTok could offer.

Tag: mindful living

The Gift You Give Yourself