BudgetBliss

The Curious Case of the Gettysburg Ghosts: A Walking Tour of One of the Country’s Most Haunted Cities

Published on September 28, 2024September 1, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

There’s something mysterious about the late fall, when darkness creeps over the earth stealing away precious daylight hours and the earth loses its color. Once familiar trees transform into shadowy forms at twilight, their fingers reaching out to the unwary traveler. The comforting sounds of animals scurrying about take on a more sinister tone and even the wind begins to moan hauntingly. Is it any wonder that such a time of year made many believe that the veil between worlds was thin and gave rise to the spooky season we know and love so well?

It’s a time of year when many travelers flock to the former places of death in hopes of encountering a being from beyond. Certain places are known to be more haunted than others and few other places top Gettysburg, Pennsylvania on the list of most haunted places frequently earning the 3rd or 4th spot. The majority of these restless dead are thought to come from the decisive battle of Gettysburg, one of the deadliest battles in our nation’s history and is considered by many to be the definitive turning point in the civil war. Over 51,000 soldiers perished and many more were injured.

Being both curious to learn more about the history of Gettysburg and to get ourselves in the spirit of the season, my sister and I embarked on an evening stroll to suspend belief for an hour or two and perhaps, catch a glimpse of a specter. Given the town’s reputation for its hauntings and that it goes all out with Halloween decorations, it is decidedly recommended to arrive early for a walking tour because parking was rather difficult to find as hundreds of spooky enthusiastics milled about also hoping for a ghost sighting. With a little trouble, we made it to the appointed meeting spot which was difficult to spot as it was an unassuming door for the Museum of Haunted Objects.

Our guide was a jovial man dressed in the manner of an 1860’s gentleman, complete with top hat, lantern and walking cane. He explained that the reason for the number of hauntings was due primarily to the unburied and still restless ghosts of the Confederate Army. He explained that in the aftermath of the battle, the town and surrounding countryside were overwhelmed with the corpses of the dead. The stench lingered for months as they struggled to lay to rest the dead. It seems almost a natural reaction in the face of so many that the dead of one’s enemies were more hastily buried with little honor or respect. Many of the townsfolk wanted to move on from the aftermath of the battle, to forget the horrors from the streams of blood and piles of amputated limbs littering the outside of the former field hospitals. Unfortunately, the dead not properly put to rest lingered on a constant reminder of the horrors of those three days.

We actually began our tour at a curious place, the local high school where in the course of an expansion several confederate soldiers were uncovered. It was strange to think that hauntings were so common in this area that one may go to school directly next to ghosts especially when reflecting on all the late night music practices I attended. Having set the tone as being a town so haunted ghost sightings are your local high school are hardly something to comment on as out of the ordinary, we set off to learn more directly about the different places and their stories. It also gave credence to the theory that the hauntings were a result of restless Confederate soldiers in need of peace. Because after the discovery of the Confederate soldiers, they were buried properly and the reported hauntings ceased.

But not all hauntings can be explained by disrespect for the dead. Ms. Jennie Wade was the only civilian to die during the intense fighting – a rather shocking fact when one considers the numbers lost to the fighting. Jennie had come to support her sister Georgia who had just given birth along with her mother and her brother. She was mixing dough for biscuits when a stray bullet passed through two doors before hitting her in the back. Though certainly given a proper burial by her family, it does seem she remained to haunt the home due to unfinished business – she never got married. Unlike many ghost stories, ending in misfortune, it seems that Ms. Jennie is a generous spirit rather than a malicious one as she is said to help single ladies who visit her home. Just place your finger on the interior door bullet hole and you shall receive a marriage proposal within the year. One does hope that she is able to find rest after granting happiness to so many others.

We heard other stories of haunting in the area including the orphanage where the guide told us a rather chilling story of children inviting others to join in a game of ring-around-the-rosie much to the dismay of the adults. Interestingly enough the orphanage itself was not directly connected to the battle but rather its aftermath. With so many lost in the war, many children found themselves without a caregiver which led to the founding of a new orphanage in Gettysburg under Ms. Philinda Humiston. Initially, the orphans were well cared for until a new Headmistress took the reins of power, Ms. Rosa Carmichael. Ms. Rosa is reported to have locked a four year old boy in an outhouse in the bitter cold of December, keeping others in chains, sometimes in vats of water where they risked drowning and beaten them. There were several children who were missing and never found. Visitors to the orphanage are said to hear the clanking of chains and the cries and laughter of children. Some report to have seen the visage of the evil head mistress. It seems a bit macabre to me that people will pay for a chance to interact with the lost children of the orphanage and such a cruel creature. It is not the stories of ghost which haunt, but of the cruelty of people.

However, it was not the stories of ghosts that haunted me (pun intended), but rather the description of the carnage of the field hospitals and the battles. It was not just death which turned this quiet town into a horror show, but also the number of amputations. The guide described how there were so many body parts that they began to simply toss them outside the window of the hospital, piling up limbs, that doctors and nurses waded through blood trying to help the wounded and dying. At one place a group of captive soldiers being held in a basement had blood raining down on them through the floorboards. Whether one believes in ghost stories or not the reality of the battle could not be downplayed. I think in our modern era it’s easy to forget the real horrors of war being so far removed from it as we often are.

What I found most interesting about the tour was seeing the battle from the perspective of the townsfolk and how it affected them many generations after. It is what still defines the town to this day. When many people were frolicking about in their costumes, giggling at the sightings of ghosts and enjoying a festival atmosphere, one must wonder how we arrived at this point. Almost a hundred and fifty years ago nearly 50,000 people perished in a war to decide the fate of America. The town was washed in the blood of patriots fighting for freedom. Doctors and nurses frantically rushed to save lives, hacking off limb after limb in a desperate attempt to mitigate the damage. After the armies left, it was the townsfolk who were left to pick up the pieces and bury the dead. Perhaps, there is something to be said that an experience so horrific can be transformed into an evening of lighthearted fun, traversing the streets by candlelight as the guide does his best to both educate and scare you. Perhaps, it is an indictment of a culture so indifferent to real human suffering that it seeks to capitalize on it. Perhaps, it is a coping mechanism of a place so scared by the horrors witnessed both in those three days and in the years after, that we can hardly blame them for embracing the kitsch nature of the spooky season to transform it into a more palatable form.

Regardless, it was an intriguing evening of history and even anthropological musings on the response to collective trauma. Though those musings were from my own internal observations than anything the guide said. I found the guide to be quite informative and an avid storyteller who was quite capable of raising goosebumps as he relayed the tales of the ghosts who stalked the streets at night.

Our guide looks almost ghostly in this picture!

How can you go on a haunted tour?

There are many towns and cities throughout America that have reported hauntings from Gettysburg, PA to Savannah, Ga, from Salem, MA to Portland, OR, from Chicago, IL to Sante Fe, NM and everywhere in between. My own hometown gives a ghost tour each fall! You can usually find them being advertised from Mid-September through early November. There are places that will offer ghost tours throughout the year.

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, I certainly recommend them for the history as they often give a different perspective than other walking tours. Often, they showcase the lives of ordinary people like Jennie Wade who only wished to help her sister and had dreams of getting married or they help us remember the victims, like the orphans who suffered at the hands of Ms. Rosa. They can be nights of fun and even frivolity, but at their core, they are stories to remember the darker parts of our collective past, even if they’re presented in more palatable forms. Nevertheless, they are stories worth remembering.

Completed: October 2021

Cost: $35 each

Miles from home: 63 miles

You Can Never Fully Prepare For Everything Life Will Throw at You

Published on September 24, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

For those of us “type A” personalities, the planners, the cautious and the dare-I-admit somewhat controlling personality types, we like to be prepared. I am the sort of person who you want on a vacation because if something happens I will usually be whipping out the solution to the problem from my bag. Wine spill? Tide pen. Hangnail? Why of course, I brought nail clippers. Bug bite? I have just the thing that pulls out the venom or “juice” that causes the sting/itch. Don’t worry about your hair, I put extra pins in mine just for this occasion! I am the person not with a Plan B but Plans B through Z. Or at least I was.

Through all my careful planning and preparing there is always some unplanned event. I was the coordinator of a homeless shelter tasked in part with developing our policies and procedures. I had developed a plan for everything. Earthquakes, fires, floods, drug overdose. Or so I thought. I had nothing in the book for a pandemic. The ONE thing that I had not planned for happened. So I had to develop my plan on the fly, in face of ever changing regulations, restrictions and recommendations throughout COVID. None of us had planned for COVID, yet we somehow got through it. Perhaps, not unscathed, but hopefully more resilient than before in the face of uncertainty to handle whatever it is life decides to throw at us. I certainly grew from the experience.

You can still see where his eye was infected.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are things life gives us that are wonderful surprises that we cannot prepare for. I certainly was not prepared to adopt a stray, near death’s door, kitten and nurse him back to health. Luke was and continues to be one of the very best surprises that life gave me. One might think one is prepared for a pet, but I assure you no matter how many you’ve had before the next one is always its own set of special surprises. I imagine it is much like with children, each sibling is a unique challenge unto themselves.

It is a good thing that life carries with it surprises that you cannot readily respond to without a little growth or creative thinking. It is in these moments of challenge that we are stretched into stronger and (hopefully) better versions of ourselves. Consider what might happen if we could simply prepare for everything life is going to throw at us. How might that affect our development? Would we learn humility? Would we be resilient? Would we think creatively? Would we feel empathy for others when they are struggling to overcome their own challenges? Would we be able to help them? From my own observations, individuals who have not been adequately challenged and overly protected from the surprises of life seem to struggle in these areas. They are disconnected from reality without experiencing the full wealth of life. We have the biggest opportunities for growth in the things we couldn’t prepare for.

Photo by Dagmara Dombrovska on Pexels.com

These challenges can be gifts! Contrasting experiences help highlight one another much like how two characters act as foils to one another in order for a reader to fully understand both. I ask you to consider, dear reader, how much sweeter is the view from a mountain top that you struggled to see versus one that you did not? It might seem nice to simply drive your car up and look at the view, but I can almost promise you the person who hiked the whole thing is probably enjoying it more. Without the challenge you may be missing more than half the experience and certainly none of the triumph.

These are gifts not only for your own personal growth, but also for the opportunities they present. In those times, you may discover your best friend or gain a new skill that lands you your dream job. You may get to live out a bucket list experience or finally get that break you’ve been needing. If we are constantly grasping at control we miss the opportunities around us, focusing on the negative instead of what might be. We close ourselves off to the possibilities continuing to ram our heads against a wall that will not break completely missing the door that has been opened instead.

In fact we may hurt ourselves most when we refuse to let go of control. How many times have we been told to relax when getting a shot because it hurts more when we’re tensed up? Life is often the same way. When we are tense and controlling, life hits a lot harder than when we are relaxed and go with the flow of things. In that flow state, we are willing and open to trying new things, to look for windows rather than doors, to see beauty where others only see ash, to believe in what might yet be without being too attached to any one thing.

This “harsh” truth is once again a blessing in disguise. It encourages us to let go of all the things we cannot control and to focus on what we can control, ourselves. Preparing for everything is exactly trying to control everything. So often we plan to free ourselves of worry, but we fail to see the burden we take up instead. Do you think about the sheer amount of mental weight you place on controlling everything? If you control everything, then everything that goes wrong is your fault! That is certainly a weighty responsibility to carry about. What about all the extra effort you place to prepare for things that never happen? How much time is stolen from you? Consider my own tendency to overprepare. Do you have any idea how heavy all my extra stuff becomes when I go out places? My bag is bigger than everyone else’s and heavier. Almost no one offers to carry it (precisely because it’s heavy) but they certainly don’t mind asking me for help. They all get to walk around free from care because I’m carrying the burden of their worries. Granted, my sister is also a planner and so we take turns carrying the bag, but other than her, it is a rare person indeed who offers.

I have also gotten better about over packing and overplanning saying instead that I have some extra cash and we’ll be near a store if something happens for most of our day trips opting instead to merely go with the flow. The freedom of this cannot be understated. Instead of focusing on all that can go wrong, I look forward to the event. Instead of endlessly checking the weather leading up to it, I just wait until the morning of to make any decisions. I plan for what I’d like to happen without closing myself off to new possibilities – more than often better possibilities.

This principle can be applied to the small things like a day out to the larger challenges like a pandemic. Let go of the burden of control and take up the freedom of the flow. Embrace the challenges as the opportunities they are! Yes, they often suck in the moment, but looking back you will be amazed at yourself for getting through!

Bonus Bucket List: Riding a Horse

Published on September 21, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Sometimes in the process of completing one bucket list item, you stumble upon another. I call these “bonus bucket list items”. They were not pre-planned or even hoped for, they are simply opportunities that present themselves and it is up to you to seize the moment. After all, have I not said we should make the most of our travels? These I call “bonus” items and they follow my principle of making the most out of the longer, further afield trips. There are times when travel becomes a necessity [see post], so it becomes important to consider what other items you can include. It isn’t about avoiding travel altogether, rather limiting travel. On my trip to see the eclipse in Vermont [see post], I stayed with a family friend who happened to have horses.

I offered to assist her with their care having never had many close interactions with the noble creatures, despite growing up in a farming community. Truthfully, I have probably had more direct interactions with cows than horses, but I was an eager student. Shelia showed me the proper way to brush them and introduced me to each horse, telling me their stories. Each had come from an owner who had not understood their unique needs or read the signs of discomfort and pain resulting in them acting out.

The horses were a special breed, Icelandic, known for their smooth gait. Much like with dogs, it is important to understand what a breed is bred for. One would not expect a husky to do well at shepherding sheep nor would you want a border collie to pull a dog sled. Each breed was carefully curated for a specialized task, one the dog is a natural athlete at. There is an old saying that a fish will think itself stupid if its judged by its ability to climb a tree. Stoltur came from an owner who had tried to use him as an Olympic Dressage horse, something an Icelandic would not be good for as he was punished for his natural gait and motion. This meant that it was important for me to demonstrate first that I could be trusted with such a special set of horses before any overtures of riding could be made. Luckily, Sheila had already worked to restore trust between horses and man, so making friends with them was rather easy.

The three horses were gentle as lambs with me as I groomed them. Stoltur even began to engage in mutual grooming, nibbling ever so gently on my arm. In the crisp air of the early spring, the horses and I spoke to one another each learning the other’s cues. I would brush them and see how they reacted ensuring I first went to the head of the heard, Mjolner and worked my way down to Stoltur. The Icelandics are known for their gentleness and good tempers, and they were admirable hosts. I made fast friends with hay and treats hidden away in my jacket. I remembered the advice to hold out the treats on the palm of my hand, keeping my fingers straight to avoid any mishaps with teeth.

After spending some time getting properly introduced to one another. Sheila offered to let me ride one. I could barely contain my excitement as I enthusiastically said yes. She saddled them up and asked her son, Astri, to accompany us as lead. She assigned Stoltur to me as he was the best kind of horse for a beginner, forgiving of mistakes and of an easy temper. She choose to ride Gimli. She told me my only job was to keep my seat. I was given a vague idea of how to get up into the saddle, put my foot in the stirrup, grab the mane to help me up and hoist myself over. I did quite well. Sheila observed dryly that I was no couch potato.

Riding a horse was rather a natural thing for me. The key of course was to keep my posture without being stiff. Having had six years of marching band in highschool, I was well acquainted with the idea of good posture without stiffness. It was a matter of feeling the rhythm of the horse and moving my hips with his movements. I found myself relaxing into the motion and adjusting as I needed to. She only needed to correct me once saying that I was slightly off balance to one side.

It was magical riding a horse along a mountain trail. The soft sound of hooves against hard dirt. The way the world melted away. It was rather meditative. For once, I felt very much grounded in my own body as I am prone to being a bit air-headed. I had never been called a natural athlete before having always been clumsy, slow and generally the opposite of everything athletic, but when it came to horses, Sheila told me I was one. I suppose it makes me a bit like an Icelandic horse trying to do Dressage or a husky trying to herd sheep, without being given the right sort of task and the right sort of environment, I did spend my whole life thinking I was useless at anything athletic.

I had not embarked to see an eclipse thinking I would be able to check off horseback riding from my list. Instead it was an opportunity that presented itself and I made every use of that chance. While I could book a horseback trail ride near my house, the experience of being able to connect with the horses first, to hear their stories and bond with them isn’t something that could be bought..

One never knows what opportunities are lurking around the corner or what things could present themselves when venturing outside one’s door. It isn’t about forcing anything to happen, but rather cultivating genuine relationships. Sheila probably would not have allowed me the opportunity to ride her horses had I not demonstrated that I was someone who could be trusted with them. I demonstrated that I could listen to their cues and respond well to them. When Stoltur nibbled my arm, I could have easily freaked out or misunderstood. Instead, I backed off from grooming and observed him for any signs of irritation before proceeding any further. I checked in with her to ensure I was reading him correctly. She confirmed it was a good sign that I was doing well with him. It was a matter of giving him the respect he deserved and following her directive. One cannot approach a horse like a dog or a cat anymore than one can approach a cat like a dog. Each creature has its own way of communicating and engaging. It is up to us to follow the terms set by them. By fostering a good connection with her horses and her, it opened up the door for a magical experience. By cultivating authentic connection, all sorts of opportunities and horizons will become open to you.

How can you experience horseback riding?

Now, it would be rare for you to meet a horse owner who can present you with the opportunity to ride a horse, like I did. However, there are many stables throughout the country which offer horseback rides or trail rides. A quick google search is all you need to get started and many of these are under $100. For a more intimate experience with a horse, you may want to sign up for a series of lessons.

Completed: April 7, 2024

Miles from home: Bonus bucket list!

Cost: Free ($60 – $100 without a friendship discount)

The Majority of Your Limits Are Self-imposed

Published on September 17, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

What an extraordinary thought! How many times have we thought to ourselves that something simply couldn’t be done only to learn later that it was actually super easy, barely an inconvenience, had we simply approached it with a different mindset? We so often falsely limit ourselves with thoughts of how things ought to be done or should be done or even can be done. We allow fear of failure or being told “no” to dissuade us from trying or asking. We choose safety and comfort over risk.

It is not wrong to feel these things! There are reasons we have been told that things ought to be done a certain way. There is merit in collective wisdom. There is also merit in challenging the collective wisdom as our culture evolves and changes. Ways of doing things that once worked may no longer work in today’s world.

We are right to fear rejection. No one likes feeling rejected, especially when you have already faced so much in life, as you may have dear reader. When you make a request or reach out, it is with an earnest desire and hope for assistance or a chance. If that request is denied, we have to experience hope dashed upon the rocks. After feeling that so many times, it is difficult to muster up the courage to go once more upon the breach.

Photo by Alexandre Cubateli Zanin on Pexels.com

Taking risks is, well, risky. If we have a family to support or are struggling to get by it can be quite difficult to take those first steps. Not only that, but also you must have the necessary physical, mental and emotional energy to pour into the venture. We may hear of these many rags to riches stories, and may be inspired to go out and try. However, the long term success of a business is rather bleak. In the first five years, 45% will fail. By the 10th year, 65% fail and by the 15th year, 75% of businesses close. Is it any wonder so many choose to stay in the confines of other people’s businesses, suffering in less than optimal work conditions? Easy to say no risk, no reward, but if the risk is your housing, safety and security? Our world seems almost made to keep us ground down and distracted rather than having the freedom to thrive as individuals.

That is why this truth can seem harsh. Because it is asking us to fight against so much of what we’ve been taught and to make some difficult choices. I just gave you, dear reader, some very good reasons to keep your limitations and your feet on the ground. One can almost hear the Disney montage queuing up in the background about following your dreams, seeking adventure and believing in magic. Inspiring to be sure, but your pragmatic self is certain to reassert itself with all its very sensible objections and limitations. So what is one to do?

It is important to recognize what limits you have imposed to assess them. That is what makes this truth so freeing. Rather than being mindless slaves to the restrictions, we get to decide if those restrictions are in fact truthful and challenge them a bit. Perhaps, even become a bit playful with the challenge.

Consider my approach to the possibility of being told no in response to a request. It is actually quite simple, I do not go in with actual hope of a “yes”. I go into expecting a no. Why then do I bother asking? Because, dear reader, it is always a no, until you ask! Therein lies the secret! Asking only allows the possibility of a no becoming a yes and what a delightful surprise the yes becomes! What is more, I get a positive answer much more than one might think! Or perhaps it is a psychological trick of merely focusing on the positive results and forming a bias in that direction, but it’s a helpful one so I’m not overly concerned about it. The limit was the fear of the no and the rejection, but then I realized that I was already living in the no. I was rejecting myself on behalf of others and not even offering them the chance to alter the self-imposed limitation. What a freeing realization that was.

You may feel you do not have the skills to land a job when looking through the qualifications. Did you know that many people land jobs even if they don’t hit every tick-mark on the list? Did you know that sometimes you can land a job with just a cold call? I recently decided to make a career move, called up an old boss about whether they had a potential position open at her current company. They ended up creating a position for me and hired me on. I could have easily looked at her current company and saw they were not hiring for what I was looking for and left it at that. My attitude towards “no” is what helped me reach out and ask.

What other limitations might be holding you back from living your best life? It doesn’t have to be a career. It could be hobbies you want to take up. Do you want to sing? It takes time and practice but 15 minutes a day can make a huge difference. Everyone has to start somewhere. It’s not like you’re auditioning for America’s Got Talent! There’s even some cool apps that help you find the right pitch and intonation for your voice range. Are there places you want to go or things you’d like to experience? You can read lots of posts from me here where I don’t travel far to do the things I want to do. When one stops to consider it, this whole blog is about challenging the limitation that in order to fully live you have to spend tons of money and travel the world!

Do I still live with some self-limiting beliefs? Of course! We all do. There are ones that for the moment I am willing to sit in. I recognize that they are limiting and I’m not ready to take on the risk or challenge that removing them would require. That doesn’t mean that I will always keep them. Life is about risks, but we also need to seriously assess them and whether we’re ready to take those next steps. The point isn’t to remove them all but to assess them and then actively choose them if they are right for us at the time. We also may have to make some difficult choices and pay a price that we’re not okay with paying in order to move forward.

Photo by Francesco Sommacal on Pexels.com

It’s like the difference between free climbing a cliff and climbing with ropes. It is much safer to climb with ropes and you should absolutely not attempt a free climb until you have some experience. However, the idea that you could never do a free climb is a limiting belief and I am certain there is a much greater sense of thrill and accomplishment for those who do free climb. The point is rather than allowing ourselves to remain forever tethered, we get to work towards being ready, to choose to let go and climb freely. Once we do that, we really can conquer mountains.

Are You Going to the Ren Faire? Pirates, Fae, Cosplayers & Knights

Published on September 14, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

It is no secret that I am a whimsical sort of person. I see magic in butterflies and can easily imagine that among them may be hiding a fairy. I can easily pretend that lurking in the woods is a dragon hoarding its treasure or an enchanted prince who needs only a maiden’s kiss to set him free. It is not that I am divorced from reality, far from it. I assure you, dear reader, I have both feet firmly planted on the ground. I am a pragmatic, practical person who understands well the constraints of life and the sorry lack of unicorns. However, I am also a person who chooses to live slightly off the beaten path to court the possibility of magic still with a childlike enthusiasm for the world.

So naturally, a trip to the Renaissance Faire is the salve that those with the same sort of spirit as myself so desperately need. Let me be perfectly clear, the Renaissance Faire is not a place of historical accuracy. It is much more akin to a Renaissance Fantasy Convention with a pretty sweet setting than a historical re-enactment. So if you’re looking for that sort of thing, I suggest googling medieval reenactments and steer very clear of any Ren Faire lest you be sorely disappointed. They are however a very whimsical place for us very whimsical souls.

The Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire is considered by many to be one of the best ones in the country. Each year between mid-August and the end of October, Mount Hope Estate opens the door to an alternative 16th century England and invites the public to an interactive fantasy play of sorts. Throughout the day if one follows the going ons of the royal family and its court, a story will unfold. It may be an internal plot to force marriage to Queen Elizabeth or an external threat by the Spanish to conquer England. Occasionally, the story focuses on King Henry rather than his daughter Elizabeth, just to keep things spicy. It always culminates in a joust to settle the score and determine the outcome. Spoiler – England and its crown always win, but the end isn’t the fun part.

What’s fun is all the stops in between like the Human Chess tournament – which is arguably much more fun than chess because the pieces actually have to fight each other for control of the spot. You also can follow the actors and see their improv skills put to use. It is not that they merely stand on a stage and you watch, they will stop and speak with you. They will have you join the story and even if you go off script their expertise keeps the play going. There are also dozens of actors wandering the grounds to keep the story alive. They may stop and stare at your phone curious at such a magical device in such a curious traveler’s hands. What on earth are you wearing sir? My goodness, young lady, do you realize your knees are showing? A good sport will join in the fun.

You are encouraged to dress up and different weeks will have different themes. Rather than fight against the crowds of nerds dressing up in various outfits which some people argue don’t belong at Ren Faire, they embraced it by giving the different fandoms their own weekend outlets. Sci. Fi. fans have time traveler’s weekend which welcomes Star Fleet, Whovians and more. Die hard fantasy nerds have Wizarding Weekend. Us whimsical folks have Fairies and Fantasies. There’s also pirates, vikings, heroes, Irish/Scottish and October is devoted to all things spooky.

There’s also over a hundred different vendors and merchants selling all sorts of wares, many of them unique to Ren Faires. Though I will admit with the advent of the internet it has gotten a little easier to access similar items than when I was growing up, which makes them seem a little less special than I remember them being.

I know I sound impossibly old with my references of the world before the internet was a big thing. We also didn’t have electricity or running water. We made fire by rubbing two sticks together. We used to have to run down big game in order to survive until we discovered farming! I myself invented the wheel, it was a really big hit.

I digress. In addition to the wares, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the food. Of course there are the infamous turkey legs which I do recommend if you have not yet tried one. Throughout the faire your mouth will be almost constantly watering with the aroma of both savory and sweet treats to tempt you. On the scorching August days, you will want to try various cold beverages and being next to a winery, they have some of the very best vintages. Though I will remind you, gentle reader, that wine is not known for its hydrating properties and you should be certain to drink plenty of water when wandering about the faire. Besides, too much will be bad for your wallet when you impulse buy that hand forged sword and moving dragon puppet. Although, you will have a sword and a dragon, so I’m not sure what the downside to this situation is.

There are of course plenty of activities that abound throughout the faire. Face painting, palm reading, ax throwing, a maze, mock fencing, even rides powered by strong men and physics. If nothing else, admire the view ladies. Occasionally there’s a horse dressed up as a unicorn to pet. There’s even retired greyhounds who are there to raise money for their rescue and get petted. Who doesn’t enjoy petting a dog? If you’d like to get more dressed up, there’s face painting and even hair braiding.

And while I have spoken about the wares, the food, the beverages and activities, what I like most about the faire is the various shows and demonstrations scattered throughout. They have glassblowing, blacksmithing and even instrument demonstrations. It was at the Ren Faire that I learned all about the Hurdy Gurdy and was introduced to one of my favorite musical artists because of it. They often have falconry and other sports like jousting. These are the places where you will get a more authentic Renaissance experience as most of these are intended to be educational. As many of the demonstrations tend to be less attended than the larger shows, I often get to have one on one conversations with the experts of their craft. There’s nothing quite like being able to ask questions and get well throughout, nuanced answers that chat gpt just can’t replicate.

There are other sorts of shows, usually either musical or comedic in nature, often a combination of both, as those always do well in larger crowds. One should be warned if bringing your children that many of the shows are for adult audiences so the jokes will reference adult topics. Usually those shows are marked with a small asterisk on your map and program. When I was a teenager and young adult, I found them amusing. As a middle aged woman, I’m not as into the bawdy humor as I was. Maybe I’m just an old stick in the mud, but that’s okay, if you like that kind of humor attend those shows, enjoy them, I’m not trying to shut them down. Why would I stop other people from having fun? You can find me petting the unicorn. I don’t care if the unicorn is meant for the five year olds, I want to pet the cute animal!

A day at the faire is a day for fantasy and fun. It can be whatever you make of it. If you’re a shopper, go shopping. If you want to only watch the shows, there are shows throughout the faire every hour and half hour. Some people religiously follow the story and so attend the human chess match, the jousts and follow the court around all day. Some people just come for the food and eat. You may want to spend all day getting a quality education about Renaissance and Medieval Europe and go to the demonstrations. Or you’re like me and go wherever the fancy strikes you.

Having grown up going to the Ren Faire for most of my childhood I’ve gotten to do just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do. I don’t go every year, but I do go every few years. It is always fun to see what they’ve changed or how they’ve expanded. It’s like coming back to an old and familiar friend. I could probably find my way around half blindfolded. I know most of the songs the performers belt out and am even friends with the owner of a very good kilt shop. Some of my best summer memories are of the Faire and is decidedly one of those bucket list items that are worth repeating! Especially since the faire may have lots of things to check off your list.

How can you add some whimsy in your life and get to a faire?

Almost every state has a Renaissance Faire and some even have more than one. Depending on where you live they may take place at different times of the year. Many faires take place in the late summer/early fall in the North East but not every faire does. I believe most faires in the North and North East take place in the summer through fall because of weather, but I think in the southern parts I saw many of them being advertised for the spring months. Probably because their weather would make it impossible to wear things like a knight’s armor without dying.

I strongly encourage you to dress up a little bit and have some fun your first time. Make sure you’ve set aside plenty of money to buy some of the cool things you’re bound to find. Many Ren Faires run both Saturdays and Sundays with a discount for a weekend pass. You will most likely be overwhelmed with the possibilities that abound, so make Saturday a day for shows and following the storyline and Sunday can be the day you return for shopping.

If you make it to the PA Ren Faire, then you should definitely stop by their winery right next door and do a wine tasting. They have many unique blends and flavors. Not only do they offer wine, but also meads. My personal recommendations are the blackberry merlot and the Traveler’s Mead, a butterfly pea blossom mead. However, you do you, that’s what tasting is for after all.

Completed: Childhood & throughout adulthood

Miles from home: 11

Cost: $33 for person (local’s tip Turkey Hill often has discount coupons for certain weekends buy one get one free, to make it even cheaper)

Full disclosure: You will probably spend a lot of money at the faire if you’re not careful between the food and the merchandise so budget closer to $100 if you’ve never been before.

You are Responsible for Your Own Happiness

Published on September 10, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

I absolutely love this truth. For some, dear reader, this may seem a bit scary even mean. However, consider this from another angle, if you are not responsible for your own happiness who is? The answer of course is other people. Other people whom you cannot control and who may not have your own interests and needs in mind, let alone your happiness. And if they’re responsible for your happiness, does that make you responsible for theirs? Does that mean that you are expected to sacrifice yourself to their whims and desires in order to make them happy? How can you possibly be expected to know what will make them happy?

We humans are such fickle creatures and are almost never really satisfied. How can we all collectively be responsible for other people’s happiness and never our own? This constant cycle of pleasing people without thought to our own happiness can only leave us all miserable and unhappy. How freeing is it to say that “I am responsible for my happiness and you are responsible for yours”?

It is a reclamation of our own autonomy and choice. It frees us of the shackles of other people’s actions and reliance on them to do the “right thing” and allows us to fully stand in our own power. There are countless stories of human resilience, where people in terrible conditions were still able to choose not happiness but deep abiding joy. These are people who fully embraced their own power and would not allow their joy to be robbed by their oppressors or abusers. It was a way to take back what power they could to refuse to allow a prison to be one.

It is not easy to choose joy. It is not easy to be positive in the face of terrible circumstances and sometimes we do need to “sit in the suck”. I’m not an advocate of toxic positivity, because I don’t believe in suppressing negative emotions. I also don’t believe in feeding negative emotions. There is a time and place to process what’s going on, but not to swim in it, ‘till your fingers get all pruny. Acknowledge the “suck”, say it stinks, allow yourself to feel the unfairness, the injustice and general stink of whatever the situation is. Then cultivate your choices and possible responses.

This entire blog is devoted to a positive response of “the suck”. I did not have the time, energy and resources to live out a certain lifestyle. I could have easily gotten stuck in a negative mindset that I would never get to do the things I dreamed about doing. That I would continue to wish my life away and watch the years tick by until I was too old and sick to even enjoy the things even if I finally managed to save up the money to go do them. It would have been easy to shake my fist at a system that prevents so many people from making positive steps forward with stagnant wages, inflation and other social ills and give up. Instead, I looked around at what I could do instead. The answer was, I could do a lot. As it turns out, it allowed me to live out my values better than the original plan.

I did not have to rely on anyone to change the system. I simply went off and started making different choices. I choose to reevaluate my local community and see it in a new light. I choose to find happiness in the little things, seeing even small moments as things worthy of a bucket list. I will most likely write a post at a later date and time about cultivating daily gratitude, because that is what has helped to cultivate my happiness the most. I choose joy and I choose to be responsible for my own happiness. What a wonderful and freeing feeling that has been.

The Great American Eclipse of 2024

Published on September 7, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Full disclosure: This is a more expensive bucket list item and required travel.

When I was a little girl, I had asked for a book on astronomy for Christmas. I had always had an interest in the stars and heavenly events. I was fascinated by the movements of the planets and the constellations. I wanted to know more about this great universe and at times the sheer vastness was somewhat terrifying. The infinite can be quite overwhelming to a child below the age of 10. This is perhaps why I also have an appreciation for eldritch horror.

At the very front of this book was a list of eclipses both lunar and solar in North America and was devastated to learn that I would not get the opportunity until 2017 or 2024. I longed to be able to see it and the passage of nearly 20 to 30 years was almost as unfathomable as the breadth of the universe itself. Time of course passed and I grew into an adult. I had half forgotten about the solar eclipses as a dream put to the side, when I read an article online that reminded me of such a momentous event was going to occur in North America in the summer of 2017. Now granted, in truth total solar eclipses do occur with some frequency, but not in the same place which is what makes them seem rare, so one would be correct in stating it isn’t that momentous. However, the ability to travel to see one isn’t readily available.

I was lucky in that the event happened to coincide with my friend’s 30th birthday which kick started all of us turning 30 that year, so naturally we had to travel down south to see it. Her parents also wanted to see it and invited her and her friends to stay with them in a very nice hotel for a week down at the beach. We were quite pleased to see the budget for the event cut down significantly by their generosity. However, luck would not be with us, for upon the moment of totality, after carefully watching the path of the moon across the sun in the oppressive heat of a southern summer in August, the clouds came in and ruined the experience. The disappointment I felt was almost as crushing as the heat. The rest of the week was still quite pleasant, so I do recommend if you are going to travel somewhere for an eclipse to do so in an area you want to visit if having to go more than a few hours from your home.

Naturally, I checked the calendar for when the next eclipse would occur and waited eagerly to hatch my plan to view it. This path was a more auspicious one for me as it passed within a few hours drive of my house. In 2023, I began to plan more seriously considering exactly how far away I wanted to book my hotel and drive to totality knowing that hotels would be booking up quickly and highly expensive in the path of totality.

However, my mother had other plans, better plans. She had recently rekindled a friendship with an old college friend who lived in Vermont, Sheila. They both had been saying how we should come up and visit her on her small farm. With her being so near the path of totality, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to go up. She reached out and planned an extended weekend at Sheila’s and also reached out to my “Uncle” Jay to possibly stay in the greater Boston area after the eclipse. With our “hotels” booked, we had hatched a plan.

On the Saturday before the eclipse, we drove the six hours up to Vermont, listening to an audio book and enjoying the scenery of Pennsylvania, New York and Vermont. We made infrequent stops to maximize our travel time. Pro-tip, if you are traveling through many small towns and need the restroom remember libraries are your friend! We were driving off the beaten path and needed to heed the call of nature. Unsure of where we could go for relief, I happened to spot a sign for a local library as we drove by. I made a small u-turn and parked just outside. The librarian was friendly to two road weary travelers. Support your local libraries friends for they are one of the last true public spaces for all.

We arrived at Sheila’s in the later hours of the evening, met her two dogs Quinn and Filipa, her two ragdoll cats and their adorable five kittens. I honestly could have died happy just meeting the kittens. They were the cutest balls of fluff you ever saw! We also met her two sons Danny and Astir. On Sunday morning, I was introduced to her three Icelandic horses and even got to ride one [post here]. On Sunday afternoon, we mostly relaxed, spending a little bit of time exploring the small Vermont towns nearby to give our hostess a break from entertaining guests. We took time to take in the mountains. The majestic nature of the Vermont mountains cannot be understated dressed as they were in their finest late snow cover and evergreens. The crisp air carried the promised scent of spring not yet realized. We stopped at a mom and pop store to sample and purchase maple syrup. We perused the local art gallery for our token souvenirs [post here].

On Monday, it was the main event. The eclipse wasn’t to start until the afternoon, so we had plenty of time to go to brunch at a town about 40 minutes north of Sheila’s home. We took time to see another small town before heading up the mountain for the prime viewing spot. Something that was quite extraordinary for my nerd heart, was that the property where we were invited to was owned by none other than an astronomer who assisted on the Hubble telescope.

It was quite the crowd of neighbors considering the population density of the state. Many people had extra eclipse glasses ready in case someone needed a pair. We took turns using a colander as a pin hole camera to see the path of the eclipse. One neighbor brought food with him to share. Some people read books as they waited while others drank beer. This time the clouds stayed away, the sky was crystal clear and the stage was set.

It is difficult to describe the totality of an eclipse. Throughout the time of the partial leading up to totality, the light begins to diffuse and everything begins to lose its color. The temperature begins to drop and a light wind breezes through dissipating most of the remaining clouds. Seemingly without warning, the moon slips in front of the sun and her shadow plunges the world into a strange twilight. Sunset is on every horizon, the temperature finishes dropping by 10 degrees. Pictures do not do it justice because cameras are made for light, which means most pictures or videos of the eclipse show the black orb of the moon surrounded by fuzzy light. That isn’t what it looks like in truth. In truth, it is a black orb ringed by a thin silver line. Your mind while understanding logically what is happening still has its primal alarm bells ringing of the otherworld breaking through to this one. It is easy to imagine how the ancients would have seen it as disfavor from the gods or an ill omen, when the very light of day is blackened, when the star itself is put out, what else can it be? All too quickly, it passes, the moon continues her dance across the sky heedless of her shadow and the small creatures she has awed. The light comes back and day resumes its throne.

After nearly thirty years of waiting, I had finally seen my dream become a reality. It took two trips and some luck, but I had made it happen.

You may dear reader be wondering what such a thing has to do with my blog about bucket list items on a budget, especially when the next eclipse won’t be until 2045 and I did arguably spend a lot more money than most of my items. There are several reasons, the first is to remind you that even if it is 30 years in the making, bucket list items can come true. The second is that the best lain plans of mice and men may still become a bust. I was extremely disappointed in 2017 not to see it, but the disappointment led to an amazing experience later. I would not have gone to Vermont where I got to snuggle ragdoll kittens and ride an Icelandic horse. I may not have gone to Boston as well, had I not missed out. Missing out can lead to better things. We never know what the universe has in store for us. Often it is even better than we could have imagined. There will be times when you carefully plan a bucket list item, you may like me spend a little more or travel a little further just to fulfill this experience only to have your plan dashed to pieces. These are moments of opportunity, be on the lookout for other chances and make the most of the time regardless. Even if I had missed out on totality, I still would have several other awesome experiences. The third is that there are some things that travel becomes a requirement. However, by being more frugal on our other items we will have plenty of money in the bank for these singular adventures. Lastly, there are many other astronomical events which you can keep an eye out to see. The sky is a window to a vast and amazing universe so look up and see what wonders there are to behold!

How you can complete this or something similar:

Pay attention to the news for stories of local happenings in the sky and try to make plans to either take a day off or come in late to work so you can stay up late to see it. Be aware of where the dark skies are in your area. https://www.darkskymap.com/ If you do want to see a total eclipse, you have several years to save and plan as at the time of this writing the next one will be in 2045. If you want a cheaper viewing, opt to stay at a hotel outside the zone of totality and then drive to the zone early. My sister found a Barnes & Noble to view the eclipse from. She had a comfortable place to wait, access to a cafe, a bathroom and plenty of entertainment. There were stories of people booking hotels cheaply in advance only to have the hotel cancel their service in order to charge astronomical prices. An air b’n’b was going for 1,000 a night before in the path of totality. My sister found a much cheaper option outside the area and I found some friends.

If this isn’t your cup of tea, you can still consider the principle of this item. Mainly, completing a childhood dream. I had been waiting almost 25 years to be able to see an total eclipse and while it was a more expensive item, requiring more planning and travel, it was worth it. Part of the point of spending less, while living more is so when these sorts of opportunities come around, I have the means to complete them. Keep an eye out for opportunities to pursue your dreams and don’t be afraid to jump on them.

Completed: April 8, 2024

Miles from home: 430 miles

Cost: About $600 (estimated increase without friend support: $800-900)

5 “Harsh” Truths About Life

Published on September 3, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

I recently came across a post on facebook that really resonated with me, but perhaps not in the way it was meant.

Five Harsh Truths About Life:

1. You are responsible for your own happiness.

2. The majority of your limits are self-imposed.

3. You can never fully prepare for everything life will throw at you.

4. You will mess up. The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on.

5. Your loved ones will not be around forever.

Although, I don’t know that I would call them harsh, in fact I would say these are freeing truths. In my next five posts, I will be diving into each of these truths to show you how awesome each one is and how these can free you to live your best life.

Give Blood: From Reverse Bucket List

Published on August 31, 2024June 23, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Much of what is on a bucket list may be considered a bit hedonistic. That is a criticism that some people have against them. To some people, it is a list of “empty pleasures”. Life should be spent bettering the world not chasing short term experiences you just check off a list. There may be some truth to those criticisms, but then again is it much worse than spending my days watching Netflix, scrolling through social media and spending all my money on amazon? The point of the list, for me at least, is to cultivate a sense of adventure, to explore the world, to experience life and learn about myself. It was about getting out of my house, away from the screens and living, to stop dreaming and start doing. It can in some ways be a form of self-expression. As someone whose daily profession is leaving the world a better place, having a bucket list is a form of self care.

However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have goals that are altruistic in nature or have reflected on past actions on my reverse bucket list that fall under the category of “leaving the world a better place”. I’ve had experiences of volunteering and sacrificing part of myself for the benefit of others that have left a positive impact on me. It is part of my own self-expression and I feel it is important to include those experiences as part of a rich life.

One of those altruistic goals was to give blood. As it turns out, I have a O+ blood type which, while it is one of the most common blood types, it is also a good donor blood type. Blood types come in A, B, AB, O and positive or negative so you can have AB+ or B- or in my case O+. The letters A and B indicate common antigens and O indicates the absence of either A or B, positive and negative indicate the presence of a common antigen or the absence of it. If you have the antigens you can receive blood without the antigen but if you don’t have the antigen you can’t receive blood that has it. Therefore, I can receive both O+ and O- but not any A, B or AB blood.

It is hard to describe the importance of blood donations. I am a daughter of two nurses, so I grew up knowing how important blood is for modern medicine. Blood allows doctors to perform miracles, to complete life saving surgeries that would normally kill a patient because of the blood loss, to treat cancer, to stop someone from dying from traumatic injury and treat chronic illnesses. A pint of blood can mean the difference between life and death and it is important to have an ongoing fresh supply.

So when my school held a blood drive in my senior year, I naturally signed up to participate. It was important to me to give back and as it turns out my family’s blood lacks other antigens than the positive. We also have “sticky” blood which makes it great for trauma victims since it helps with clotting. Even though I didn’t enjoy needles, I knew that I was making a difference when I laid down on the chair and presented my arm. It was such a small act of inconvenience for me, missing some class, a brief time of discomfort, but the impact of this life saving gift was more than worth it to me. Why wouldn’t I give up a few hours of my life to save someone else’s?

Being a positive influence in the world doesn’t always need big gestures or major political movements, sometimes something little can have a large impact. Full disclosure, I did faint when I gave blood for the first time. About 4% of people faint. It isn’t an indication of any sort of medical distress but rather a vagal nerve response. Unfortunately, I have had other medical issues over the years causing frequent issues of low iron levels which make it difficult to give blood. I hope to be able to give blood now that the underlying issue causing the frequent bouts of anemia has been addressed.

How can you donate blood?

Only about 3% of people ever donate blood and the demand for blood never ceases. It is a vital resource that cannot be replicated through other means. As they say “when you give, other’s live”. I highly encourage you, dear reader, to consider giving blood. If you cannot give blood, then consider how else you might positively impact the world.

Luckily, giving blood is fairly easy. Just call up your local branch of the American Red Cross to find out when and where they’re having their next blood drive.

Completed: First time donating blood Spring 2006

Miles from home: 4 miles

Cost: Free

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Published on August 27, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

In the age of social media, we are constantly being shown a carefully curated montage of other people’s lives whether that be our own friends and family or influencers. The pressure to present this picturesque life is almost constant, while the algorithms feed us a never ending message of inadequacy and insecurity. Not only that but influencers show us a steady stream of items, experiences and getaways that would “cure” all those pesky problems that we face.

I recently heard someone say “you can’t out consume an influencer.” Influencers are often given the items that they show us and can often turn around and sell those items. The items they do have to purchase are tax deductible and considered a business expense. They are paid to consume whereas the rest of us have to use our hard earned money to try and keep up with them. Not only are they getting paid to consume, many of them are making above the median income of $74,000. I certainly don’t make $74000. So yes, you can’t out consume an influencer.

No matter what you do, there will always be someone who makes more than you, is more successful, has a bigger house, goes to more places, does more things, buys more items and is considered “ahead.” Even if you manage to become the “top dog” of your current social group by moving up, you will expand your social group to include other people who are “higher status” than you. One of the reasons why when people move up the social ladder they continue to struggle to make it, is because they are trying to keep up. They get a promotion and make an extra $20,000 a year, but then they buy a better car, move to a better house, pretty soon that 20,000 isn’t going as far as it could have had they stayed where they were. But where they were often wasn’t that comfortable or perhaps, the “Joneses” convinced them that what they had wasn’t good enough.

It’s important to remember these things when considering your bucket list. I shared that I often go on an “adventure” about once a month. Most of the time it’s with my sister on our sister dates. This means that I have to pick and choose what I want to do when because I don’t have lots of time or money to be spending every weekend or most of my evenings out. Sometimes, this means putting an event on the calendar for next year in order to be able to go to a different one. Sometimes it means skipping out on something entirely.

Not every activity needs to be done or event attended. If it’s not for you don’t do it, even if it seems like the popular thing to do. You have limited time and resources so spend them wisely. It may be tempting to try and start to push the schedule to do more than once, maybe twice a month, especially when my feed starts to get filled up with events, activities, people doing things and going places. However, going out all the time means not resting and I have cats at home who have emotional needs that I am obligated to meet as their guardian. Besides, snuggling cats is on my bucket list.

Remember saying no to something, allows you to say yes to something else. Saying no to going out each weekend, allowed me to say yes to having pets. Saying no to some more expensive experiences, allowed me to say yes to going on a cruise with my family. Once we free ourselves of trying to keep up appearances and out competing the social media algorithm, we can start making real choices for ourselves that help us create real meaning in our experiences. We have to remember that what we often see is a facade hiding.

How many celebrities have we seen over the years share their struggles with depression, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy? How many stories have we read about the ultra rich with their empty marriages and loveless families? There are certainly celebrities that are quite happy and ultra rich who have wonderful families, but they did not create their fulfilling lives from chasing things and trying to keep up with others. Trying to keep up often fuels the negative feelings about ourselves. Recognize that you are enough, as you are. You are not your job, you are not your income, you are not less than because you have less, your value is not predicated on the things you have.

Having a bucket list has many benefits, but it should not be used to compare yourself to others or as a measuring stick of your self-worth. It isn’t about keeping up with the Joneses, it’s about living your best life right where you are.