Author: BudgetBliss

Christkindlmarkt: A 700 Year Old German Tradition 

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Since the 1300’s small pop-up markets have been part of the Christmas season in Europe. These small December markets intended to allow people to stock up on meat and other necessities at the beginning of the winter season. These markets grew overtime to allow toy makers, confectioners and other craftsmen to set up stalls under the name “Saint Nicholas market”. They also began to sell roasted chestnuts, nuts and almonds. This tradition spread throughout the German Speaking world. It was later renamed Christkindlmark during the Reformation and the tradition continues to this day. 

Each December stalls are set up to showcase various wares for either a few days or for weeks depending on the event. Along with the wares, food vendors come out to sell traditional foods like currywurst, potato pancakes, gulasch, sauerkraut and of course Gluhwein (a mulled red wine). Those stalwart enough to brave the cold can enjoy pursuing these outdoor markets by the light of twinkling lights. 

So popular and beloved are these markets, that there are entire river cruises devoted to taking tourists along the Rhein to visit them during the Christmas season. These visitors bring back tales of the delicious food, sparkling lights and of course carefully crafted wares. After seeing photos of these places, one might begin to think that the magic of the season is best found abroad and start to dream of flying over to the old country. However, dear reader, as you have no doubt already guessed, these coveted markets are not only found across the vast expanse of ocean but rather can be found right here in the United States. Like their European counterparts, there are the larger and more famous Christkindlmarkts, such as the ones found in Grand Rapids Michigan or Bethlehem Pennsylvania. However, just as there are smaller markets in the smaller towns of Germany, there are smaller markets here in the United States. 

So it was early in the evening that I set out with my work partner, Nicole, to visit the Reading Liederkranz Christkindlmarkt. We choose that time because the market would just be getting dark and the lights would really pop against the darkness of the sky. The city of Reading is situated along the Blue Mountain Ridge of the Appalachian Mountains and so part of our journey included going up the side of the ridge overlooking the city. As we climbed above the urban center, the city gave way to suburban areas covered with trees, reminding us both of our time in Marburg, Germany. Up, up, up we went, passing houses that vaguely resembled German architecture and it was if we had been transported across the sea. Suddenly on our right the forest gave way to a small piece of Germany, the Reading Liederkranz. 

For those not in the know a Liederkranz is a German singing and cultural society which was established to promote and perpetuate German singing, dancing, music, language, foreign exchange and culture. Branches of Liederkranz can be found throughout the United States with many of them established in the mid to late 1800’s. There does not appear to be one overarching society which oversees all the branches, but rather each branch is independent of the others. Like many branches, the Reading Liederkranz hosts various german festivals throughout the year to mirror the ones in Germany. So, just like their German counterparts the Christkindlmarkt of the Reading Liederkranz occurs for a few short days during the Christmas season with stalls set up outside for customers to shop for unique gifts for their loved ones.

In addition to unique gifts, some of them imported from Germany and Austria, they offered traditional German food that can be found at the markets. I naturally had to buy some choosing to partake in the Currywurst, and potato pancakes. I was a little disappointed that the potato pancakes did not come with the traditional applesauce but instead came with sourcream. It is possible that they were simply sold out of the applesauce. I noted there were some items crossed off the menu as no longer available. As it was cold, I could not pass up the opportunity to sip on some warm Gluhwein. Gluhwein is a mulled red wine served at almost every Christkindlmarkt and I highly recommend it as a part of your Christmas tradition. 

Not every stand was exclusively German, many of the stands featured local artisans and craftsmen selling their wares. I managed to find a few treasures while I was there for both my loved ones and myself. I picked up a few business cards for later reference. I met Santa Claus giving out Candy Canes and hopefully made it to the nice list (fingers crossed). Nicole found a book that she promised I could borrow from her later and her own gifts.We enjoyed looking at the different wares and meeting the sellers which is not something one can often do these days when looking online or shopping at a big box store.  

It was not a huge Christkindlmarkt, certainly not like the larger one in Bethlehem, PA which mirrors more closely those larger markets of Vienna and Munich and is open from Mid November through late December Friday through Sunday. It’s a sprawling market of hundreds of stalls, dozens of food vendors, authentic German artists, ice skating, St. Nicholas, music and more. It’s known as one of the top holiday markets in the world rivaling its European counterparts. 

However, as I have said in other places, I’m not a huge fan of crowds and sometimes it’s better to enjoy something on a smaller, more intimate scale. After all, the towns of Germany often have their own smaller celebrations and what could be more authentic than a homegrown festival? So I spent about an hour or so wandering bundled up against the cold, sipping my Gluhwein and enjoying the piece of Germany they’ve carved out on the side of the mountain. I will certainly have to see what other festivals they bring across the ocean for us to enjoy here in the states. It may not have been perfectly authentic after all, I didn’t have to stumble through my half forgotten German to order my food, but to two people who lived in Germany it certainly got our stamp of approval. Just proving once again that one doesn’t need to book a ticket to see the world, sometimes the world comes for a visit in a nearby town. 

How can you visit a German Christkindlmarkt?

The first step is to obviously wait for the right time of the year, it is after all a Christmas Market. Most of them take place between Thanksgiving and Christmas with a few occurring earlier in November. The smaller ones often only occur on one weekend with the larger markets spanning the entire season. There are of course the more famous ones such as the one in Bethlehem but there are smaller ones like the one I went to in Reading, PA and the one in Lancaster, PA (which I am told has even better food). 

Travel websites are a useful tool to get a start as they will often name the “best” ones. Keep in mind these “best” are subjective and will be prone to more tourists and crowds. If you’re looking for a smaller, more intimate version, then google searching Christkindlmarkt or Weihnachtsmarkt (another name for these markets) may yield some good results. As always, I keep an eye out on my Facebook events page. I haven’t found other social media formats that so easily showcase events in my area. 

Completed: December 2024

Cost: $30 for admission and food 

Miles from home: 30 miles

Below is a small list of Christkindlmarkts in the United States. It is by no means a complete list but it is a good place to start especially if you’re in these areas. The dates vary each year and there is often a ticket price associated with entry.  

Arlington, TX Texas Christkindl Market

Atlanta, GA Atlanta Christkindl Market

Augusta, NJ German Christmas Market of NJ

Baltimore, MD Christmas Village in Baltimore

Belleville, IL Belleville Christkindlmarkt

Bethlehem, PA Christkindlmarkt Bethlehem

Cambria, CA Cambria Christmas Market

Canandaigua, NY Canandaigua Christkindl Market

Carlinville, IL Carlinville Christmas Market

Carmel, IN Carmel Christkindlmarkt

Charlotte, NC Charlotte Christkindlmarkt

Chicago, IL Chicago Christkindlmarkt

Chicago, IL Christkindlmarkt Wrigleyville

Cincinnati, OH Germania Christkindlmarkt

Dayton, OH Dayton Liederkranz Turner Christkindlmarkt

Denver, CO Denver Christkindlmarkt

Des Moines, IA Christkindlmarket Des Moines

Elkhart Lake, WI Old World Christmas Market

Ferdinand, IN Ferdinand Christkindlmarkt

Frankenmuth, MI Frankenmuth Christkindlmarkt

Georgetown, CO Georgetown Christmas Market

Harmony, PA Harmony Museum WeihnachtsMarkt

Helen, GA Helen Christkindlmarkt

Holland, MI Holland Kerstmarkt

Lake Worth, FL The American-German Club of the Palm Beaches Christkindlmarkt Leavenworth, WA Leavenworth Christkindlmarkt

Mifflinburg, PA Mifflinburg Christkindl Market

Minneapolis, MN Holidazzle

Mountain View, CA German Holiday Market

Nevada City, CA Nevada City Victorian Christmas

New Orleans, LA New Orleans Deutsches Haus Christmas Market

New York, NY Bank of America Winter Village at Bryant Park

New York, NY Union Square Holiday Market

New York, NY Columbus Circle Holiday Market

Oconomowoc, WI German Christmas Market of Oconomowoc

Philadelphia, PA Christmas Village in Philadelphia

Pittsburgh, PA Peoples Gas Holiday Market

Poughkeepsie, NY Germania Club of Poughkeepsie Christkindlmarkt

Reading, PA Reading Liederkranz Christkindlmarkt

San Francisco, CA The Great Dickens Christmas Fair & Victorian Holiday Party

Solvang, CA Solvang Julefest

St Paul, MN St Paul European Christmas Market

Tomball, TX Tomball German Christmas Market

Tulsa, OK German American Society of Tulsa Christkindlmarkt

Washington DC DowntownDC Holiday Market

Being Okay With Missing Out

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In the spring of 2024, a wonderful and amazing phenomenon occurred. The Northern Lights were visible throughout much of Northern America, even down as far as Puerto Rico. Not only was it visible, it was visible on a Friday night, meaning that one was free to stay up late and really enjoy the rare visual display so far south. Unless you were where I lived. Where it was cloudy for miles. Unfortunately, I did not have the capacity to go drive for miles just to see them, though the temptation was certainly there. 

The level of frustration that I felt the next morning seeing thousands of pictures flooding my feeds and social media was astronomical. It seemed that everyone else had gotten to enjoy my dream, but me. People who had not even cared about ever seeing the Northern Lights got to see them, but not me, a person who has been dreaming about it since she was a young child! It is always cloudy during major astronomical events at my house from the planetary alignment, to the comet to this!  It was unfair! It wasn’t right! Stupid weather! Stupid sky! Stupid sun! Grrrrrrrr!!!

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and reminded myself of all the times the universe had responded to my hopes with a no and how often those “no’s” had led to bigger and better things later. I would trust in the process of life. Had I not just experienced a total solar eclipse in Vermont after missing one almost seven years prior? If I had not missed out on the one, would I have gone to Vermont or New England? Perhaps, not. Did the “no” not open up something wonderful, even if seven years in the making? 

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I could continue to dwell on it, cursing the decision I made to not drive in the middle of the night to go see them. But then would I have even enjoyed them, being tired and stressed out from rushing to see them? Would I have cut my experience short, because of the obligations I needed to meet the next day? Then having “crossed it off the list” no longer consider trying to go and see them to really enjoy them? A bucket list dream come true or a check in the box? There is a reason I opted not to jump in my car and rush to go see them. There is a reason, I choose to wait for the right time, because trying to force an experience often robs us of fully enjoying it. And truth be told, there have been several more instances since May of the Northern lights gracing the skies, only for it to be cloudy. Every. Single. Time. At this point, it’s just comedic, and I just laugh at the universe remembering that now is not the time to force things.

When we try to force things, it’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, it just doesn’t work. There’s all these gaps around the peg where something is missing and it’s a tenuous hold at best. We rush through the experience, we don’t savor or enjoy it. The anxiety and stress of trying to just “make it work” is what we remember rather than the end journey. In our faulty human ways, we may end up sabotaging ourselves and robbing the future us of something much better. We miss the blessing that was being given to us in that moment, rejecting both the current one and the future one.  

It can be difficult to accept missing out, especially when it is something you really wanted. It can be even more so when it seems that everyone else got it. The question becomes when is it my turn? When is it my time? Why can’t I have it right now? Don’t I deserve to have it? The answer may be not yet, it may even be not ever. That last one can be a difficult truth to swallow. Sometimes the “no” is unchanging and we will never get what we’ve asked for. We cannot know the reason for this, but focusing on the no, blinds us to all the times we hear yes. It robs us of the joy of what we have and the gratitude for all the blessings that are still coming. The not ever may be because we were meant for a bigger blessing than the one we were asking for, but if we constantly reject the blessing because we are so focused on the thing we wanted, then we may get neither. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

No one likes missing out, and it is a perfectly human response to be frustrated and sad. However, we should not swim in these feelings, building up anger and resentment. Imagine if I had spent my time shaking my fist at heaven for a missed “blessing” when I had only a few weeks prior experienced an awe inspiring total eclipse? How quickly we forget the things we have, when we sit in a moment of lack. How fleeting those moments become when we let them slip through our fingers when the next obstacle comes into our path? If instead we focus on the blessings we have received, we bring those blessings forward with us into the moment. We instill hope for the future and begin to look forward to what surprises the universe may have in store for us. We find ourselves enriched rather than lacking. 

The moment of frustration passed, leaving me sipping my coffee and reminiscing about my recent trip to New England. I relived the awe of seeing the sun slip behind the moon, the way the day turned to twilight, the sudden drop in temperature as the darkness took hold. The northern lights will come again and I will see them when the moment is right. Until then, I will continue to cultivate a bucket list life in all the moments between and continually recall the blessings I have received. I certainly don’t need to wait for the lights to check the other things off my list. After all, if I am become too laser focused on the lights, I may miss other opportunities for bigger and better things. Whatever blessings that are in store for me, I want to be there with arms open to receive them.

Koizer’s Christmas Village: Let There Be Light! 

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It seems almost impossible to think about Christmas without thinking about lights. In Western culture almost no other holiday is so linked with light, which is appropriate considering it is celebrated at the darkest time of the year (for those of us in the Northern hemisphere). There’s just something so mesmerizing about small points of light holding back the dark. They always bring a smile to my face. I especially enjoy seeing larger displays where people can showcase their creativity and transform an ordinary place into something extraordinary, and Koizar’s Christmas village is exactly that sort of place!  

Since 1948, the Spring Lake Dairy Farm has been delighting people. Originally, a display created for the enjoyment of his wife Grace and their four children, it quickly expanded front he original house and barn. People soon began to flock every year to see the display at the locally named “Christmas House.” Eventually, Koziar began to admit visitors while still operating the dairy farm. Overtime, the dairy farm and even the house were abandoned to the ever expanding light displays.  For over 75 years, the farm has been literally lighting up the night as the lights can be seen from miles around. It has even been named Best Outdoor Christmas Display in the World by Display World magazine (according to Wikipedia anyways).  

It takes approximately 90 minutes to walk through the many displays which run the gambit of themes from beloved classic tales like the Nutcracker to Bible scenes from displays showing Christmas traditions around the world to prehistoric dinosaurs. There were plenty of places for photo ops, tucked in various places and with such frequency most of them were without long lines. There are panoramas, a kissing bridge, gift shops and snack shops. One can warm up with a hot beverage like apple cider or hot chocolate while munching on popcorn or chocolate chip cookies. There is one place which serves more substantial food such as pizza and burgers. It is almost entirely outside, so dressing warmly was a must for this particular outing. 

How does one capture in writing what 8 acres of over a million lights looks like in simple words? Even the pictures I share here, dear reader, are only the smallest snippets of the sheer magnitude of that many lights. Each area held a new delight and theme, some had seamless and natural transitions, others were abrupt and almost disjointed side by side. 

What most delighted me was how simple and even outdated everything was. There were wooden decorations clearly from the 60’s and 70’s. There were handmade items which had been lovingly repainted over the years. It was in stark contrast to so many of the other light displays that one could go see, because it felt organic and human. It was clearly a labor of love untaken over decades. There were many store bought displays but they were interspersed with homemade characters and storyboards. It was simultaneously a display of Christmas lights and a museum of decorations over the decades. One of my favorites was the Wild West section with the christmas buffalo. There’s even a whole section featuring a model train. Despite being a professionally run tourist attraction, it still felt like a display cobbled together by your overly enthusiastic neighbors, perfectly capturing the nostalgia of seeing Christmas lights.  

My sister and I ambled through the lights, taking time to soak in the array of themes. We stopped to study the displays, finding small touches which brought us smiles of delight, like the angel fawn near a nativity or the zoo train with the tigers. We stopped to enjoy hot apple cider and churros. I also bought a pair of gloves having realized I accidently left mine at home. There were only a few places where we could slip into to escape the biting cold of the evening, but we were lucky that it wasn’t too cold. Eventually we ended up passing through a large garage which proudly displayed the history of the village before going into the final gift shop. We left fully satisfied and well in the Christmas spirit. 

How can you see amazing displays of Christmas Lights?

Luckily, this is something that you can see almost anywhere during the Christmas season and there is almost always a place nearby with overly enthusiastic neighbors. Some may be drive through places, others may be like Koziar Christmas Village where you can walk. It depends on whether you wish a slow meandering stroll in the cold where you can stop and really take in each display or if you wish to remain warm in your car. There may be ones that are put on by professionals such as Candy Lane at Hershey Park or family affairs with all their quirks like Kozier’s Christmas Village. You can also find a local neighborhood and walk around to see everyone’s displays. In the last few years, my home town has been holding a contest which has helped to revitalize people’s interests in putting up lights. You could even start a contest in your hometown if you’re feeling particularly entrepreneurial. 

Completed: December 2023

Cost: $13 per person (It would have been an extra five dollars to attend on a weekend or the week of christmas)

Miles from home: 26 miles

Accepting the Suck: Emotional Honesty

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I spend quite a bit of my time here writing about having a positive outlook. I talk about looking at challenges as opportunities, to focus on the blessings you have and going with the flow. These are all good things to do. 

However, there are times when life sucks. Sure you may have lost your job and the magical opportunity for a new one may be just around the corner, but in the meantime you still have to pay the electric bill and put food on your table. That’s stressful and it stinks. Sometimes you get terrible news about your health. I suppose good things can come of having cancer but let us not pretend it will be a picnic or that in general life is much better having not had cancer. I have yet to meet a single person with a chronic illness who says the “perks” are worth the price. I know I have written about how lost relationships can be opportunities for new ones to come into our lives, but a loss through death isn’t something that should be reframed in that light. 

It would be emotional dishonesty to not allow yourself the time to really process the negative emotions. Skipping over the “suck” right to the positive rainbows and unicorns of positive thinking renders positive thinking into exactly that, useless positive thoughts. Repressing our emotions is not healthy. If we are hurt, sad or angry, we need to let ourselves fully feel them first before we can move forward. Like a small child our emotions deserve more than a cold “buck up”. They deserve a warm hug and an understanding ear. They deserve acknowledgement and compassion. 

How do we feel when we try to express ourselves to a loved one only to have them rush us through because they cannot sit in our discomfort? Do we feel seen or even valued? Why do we do this to ourselves? 

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I try to approach myself in the way I might a dear friend when trying to offer genuine comfort. The key is to be curious about what’s really going on rather than offering trite “it will be okay” or “well at least….” I may ask myself why I am so worried. I may ask some challenging questions to stop turning my worries into a catastrophe or even ask okay well if the worst does happen then what? I may ask myself what beliefs about myself I’m currently cultivating or if the situation is a threat to my sense of identity. These are all hard questions that can be difficult to face, but face them I must if I am to truly get down in the muck and embrace the suck. I often find that journaling out the emotions to examine them is the most helpful exercise. I can look at the entries for themes and underlying negative beliefs that ought to be challenged. I can see when I’ve blown something out of proportion.

Often by working through the emotions and acknowledging the truth of the situation as one that is objectively awful to go through, I can start to shift into a genuinely positive state. I can find ways to look at the situation as a place of opportunity. I may look at the situation as a time for me to grow closer to God and renew my faith. I can feel true gratitude for being in such a place at this time. I can say that while not a great experience, it is a necessary one for my own personal growth. This is not always the case, after having a terminal cancer diagnosis isn’t going to suddenly become a good thing with a few journal entries and some light cognitive behavioral therapy. Potentially losing your home and becoming homeless may later on be a great thing because it helped you get your life on a better track and even led to you being eligible for a program that got you permanently out of poverty, but the process is not fun by any stretch of the imagination. It is often extremely traumatizing and trauma isn’t something to be covered up with fairy stickers and glitter.

However, only by working through negative emotions, even trauma, can we begin to move beyond them to the place where we want to be. As long as we ignore them and suppress them, they will continue to rule our lives popping up in the form of anxieties, doubts, negative self-talk, poor self-esteem, depression, sleep disorders and other psycho-somatic and psychological symptoms. We’re not just trying to cross off things on our bucket lists, we’re striving to live life to the fullest and be the best possible versions of ourselves. After all, if we don’t deal with the things that are bothering us, then we may fall into the trap of hedonism and escapism, not fully experiencing life because we’re too numb to feel.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

So embrace, the suck, feel it deeply and fully, cry, scream, yell, punch your pillow, throw something at the wall and watch it shatter! Seriously, go to Goodwill buy some $2 cups and go nuts! Just don’t damage your walls, ensure pets and small children are clear from the area, warn your partner/roommates. Or smash it to bits with a hammer! Put it in a plastic bag wrap it in an old towel and enjoy! Do whatever you need to do to get your emotions out and feel some catharsis. It’s only when we’re emotionally honest and recognize our negative feelings, that we can really begin to process them.

Visiting History: Gettysburg Battlefield

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The battle of Gettysburg was one of the defining moments of American history. The Union’s victory over the Confederate army was the turning point in the Civil War, leading to the restoration of the union and ensuring the end of slavery. The battle took place over the course of three days from July 1st to July 3rd, almost coinciding with our nation’s 86th birthday. It was also one of the bloodiest most devastating battles in our history. 

Visiting the site of this place can be a bit surreal. Today, the fields lay semi-empty. The dead have been given proper burial. The gunfire has long since ceased and it only returns for reenactments and salutes to honor the fallen. To the educated eye one can still see the evidence of the battle and how the lay of the land was shaped by it and helped to shape the battle itself. For example, one can still see clearly how the Union’s superior position of the high ground helped them win despite having less troops. 

 It is now home to many monuments to the fallen from all over the states. Naturally, the Pennsylvania monument is absolutely massive, but others are smaller. Some are dedicated to large groups, but then there are more specific battalions and legions remembered. It is easy to forget that each of the men who perished on the field had a name, a story and purpose to be there. It is not easy to take up arms against one’s own countrymen. 

In the surrounding town, they offer various walking tours highlighting moments of history. They talk about the miracle that only one civilian died in the fighting, they point out bullet holes. What is really striking though is the sheer amount of death the residents saw, the description of pools of blood from the surgeries and piles of limbs that had been hacked off to try to save lives. They describe the stench that lingered for weeks in the hot summer. They whisper of ghosts still lingering on over a century later. If one believes in such things. 

Still in among the ghost stories, there is real history being remembered. There was a high cost to pay to preserve our country more than the cost to form it originally. It answered the question of whether we truly were a nation of freedom for all or only for some. A question that will need to be periodically asked and answered as we continue to navigate conflicting rights and values. It is a place that when visited demands at least some reflection of the cost that had to be paid for today’s America. 

Despite growing up relatively close to it, I had not really visited the battlefield until I was an adult. The annual classroom field trip that year had been replaced with a trip to Philadelphia to see the visiting display of the Russian Tsars. When my family did finally visit, I was a teenager and the thought of tramping about a field in the heat of summer with my father was unappealing, and I opted to go elsewhere with my mom and let my brother and father walk about the fields. So in the fall of 2018, I finally went with my boyfriend to see where it all happened, put history in perspective and learn more about this monumental event in our nation’s history. 

I can’t say that I necessarily learned anything new about the battle that I hadn’t already heard in the classroom or seen in documentaries, but what I did know was brought to life by seeing the physical artifacts from the battle and hearing the intimate stories of the people who were there both solider and civilian on both sides of the war. There’s something to be said about seeing and interacting with physical objects that allows our minds to form a more emotional connection with the knowledge or at least enhance our knowledge through other senses. 

It is always strange to visit the site where tragedy took place and one must acknowledge the Civil War was tragic. It was tragic for a nation to be ripped apart and that the effects of that can still be seen over a hundred years later. It is also tragic it took a civil war to confer the basic human right of freedom from slavery to all living under our nation’s flag. On one hand, it is a place of history that should be remembered and respected, a place where people died to give other people freedom. On the other hand, it’s a site of enjoyment and relaxation. People come to visit on their vacations and for a day off of school. They enact the battle for entertainment, as well as to keep the stories alive. Children run through the fields laughing and playing around the cannons. Tourists take goofy pictures in front of memorials. For me the juxtaposition of both is important, because in some ways it means healing has taken place and is a testament to the resilience of people and our nation. 

How can you add this to your own bucket list?

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that cannot be substituted easily if going to the actual Battlefield of Gettysburg is on your list. It’s in PA and unless you’re nearby, it won’t be cheap or easy to get here. In which case, may I recommend google flight tracker and hotels.com? This may be an instance of the principle of the item rather than the item itself. The principle behind visiting Gettysburg was to see an important site of our nation’s history that helped shape our identity and defined us. If you live in the south, there are many other Civil War battlefields that you can visit. If you live in the North East, especially in New England, then you can visit many sites from the Revolutionary War. In the South West, you have the Mexican-American War. California was home to the gold rush as well as the Japanese Internment Camps and the Watts-Riots. The Midwest is of course home to the west itself and the expansion of white settlers into the territories. I highly recommend seeing what is near your hometown. You may be surprised to find your seemingly insignificant part of the country actually helped shape us in the amazing country that it is today.

Completed: 2018

Miles from home: 75

Cost: Free to visit the Battlefield, Visitor’s Center. Museum is $15, Museum+ Film is $21 

Living Out Your Values

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Our values are often reflected in what we do much more than what we say. The things we strive for and goals we want to achieve demonstrate what we actually believe. There’s a saying that goes “shut up and put your money where your mouth is” which is short is stop talking and actually sacrifice for what you believe in. Shouldn’t we consider this when looking to complete our bucket lists?

If the point of a budget bucket list is to help create a meaningful life where we’re at, then a meaningful life reflects our values, morals and ethics. I want to have a life that is well lived. One that aligns with who I am as a person and to be able to look back at all the things I have seen, done and accomplished and feel at peace. I don’t want to have regrets for things left undone, but also for things that I did that left me feeling empty or guilty. 

When considering what I want to accomplish in my life, it’s not just about what might be fun to do, but also what I value. I took pride in my German and Irish roots, especially living in a German-American area like Lancaster, County. So, I learned German and studied abroad in Germany. I made certain to spend a little time in Ireland when I was over there. When learning the violin, I studied folk Irish songs. I took Irish step dancing in college. I said I valued those items and backed it up with actions. Those things were more than just learning a language or a dance style plucked at random, they reflected what was important to me.

Your values can inspire you to add things to your list. Do you value your heritage? Then maybe explore activities that connect you to your family’s past. Maybe you value being self-sufficient, then taking workshops to learn crafts such as woodworking and carpentry may be your jam, more than say spending a week in Bora Bora. Most of what I started with were the things that reflected what was important to me, nature, art, music, travel to specific places that held special meaning to me. Some of the things I’ve done have been in support of what was important to the people I do them with. 

Sometimes, a value will prevent you from doing something. Do you value animals? Those animal encounters may be quite tempting but they are rife with exploitation and abuse of the very animals you claim to love. You cannot say that you value elephants and then go ride them. Even alternatives like bathing still involve a traumatic training known as the “crush” where young calves are separated from their mothers, isolated, deprived of food and water and beaten until they are broken. Elephant tourism is driving those numbers up. In almost every case, an interaction with an elephant means interaction with a traumatized elephant for your benefit. Not every animal encounter is a result of abuse, but it is important to be careful with them because abuse is so rampant, especially in underdeveloped countries. 

I carefully researched this dolphin led encounter before booking and even consulted a friend who works at a zoo to help me ensure I was participating in an ethical encounter.

You will need to pick and choose your battles. There is almost no undertaking that does not involve murky ethical decisions in our modern world. Buying a cell phone? How were the minerals mined in Africa? How were the workers treated, who assembled it in China or Taiwan? Is the money that is going to the company being used to fund policies and politics that you disagree with? What about the environmental impact? That’s just a cell phone, what about attending a concert? Traveling to a festival? 

When considering my budget bucket list, I started with my values first, understanding what I stood for and where the lines would be drawn. I was careful to do my research and pick my battles. I encourage you to also start with the things you value before writing down everything that comes to mind or taken from someone else’s list.  

When you start out with guardrails, it’s easier to say no. Whether we intend to or not, when we see something “cool” that we want to do, we start to form an emotional attachment through our excitement. It can be hard to reel that back in. I don’t shop at places like Shein and Temu, but I see advertisements for them all the time. It makes it easier for me to not get tempted by the cute clothing or gatchet that I really want to have when I have set the boundary of “I will not buy from these places.” I said I will not exploit animals, and it made it easy to say no to interacting with baby tigers, even in the face of their cute adorable faces. Before I could even picture holding those sweet babies and petting their soft fur, the firm “no” stopped all thoughts of the activity. Whereas if I had written my list, saw the opportunity first, I may have been tempted to try and justify keeping it there or saying to myself “I’m just one person….” 

On this blog, I will encourage you to drink richly from the cup of life and to follow my example of finding things in your own backyard to do. However, there are many different places that one can drink from, it’s up to each of us to be mindful of what we’re taking out of life and whether its right for us. It’s not up to me to dictate to you what values, ethics or morals you should have, that’s up to you to decide. I’m only here to remind you to think about them before you take a drink that ends up tasting bitter and gross. 

Reverse Bucket List: Unicorn Tapestries

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Occasionally, I like to share items from my reverse bucket list or include tales from further afield. Not to stray from the purpose of this blog, but to present an honest picture of the life I am living and the goals I’ve pursued. I would be remiss to showcase only the things I’ve done close to home, as that would create the false impression that everything meaningful can be accomplished without ever leaving it.

Depending on where you are, and what you want from life, some travel may be required.

More importantly, I have no desire to present a polished illusion. I’ve watched enough influencers and internet personalities over the years to know that the truth has a way of surfacing. I do myself no favors by crafting a narrative that isn’t real.

Who knew honesty was the best policy?

This particular item belongs both to my reverse bucket list and to those adventures further afield.

It should come as no surprise, dear reader, that I love unicorns.

I know, you’re shocked. Completely blindsided. Never in a million years did you see this confession coming.

Sarcasm may be my second language, followed closely by questionable English and then German.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I digress.

My love of unicorns began early. My very first stuffed animal, given to me the day I was born, was a unicorn named Rainbow. She doubled as a music box, playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and for years she was my constant companion. She even made the journey with me to Germany during my college days. Today, she still sits on a shelf in my room.

Growing up in the 90s, unicorns were not nearly as easy to find as they are now. That scarcity made each one feel special. My mother somehow always managed to track them down—books, toys, anything she could find. I devoured every unicorn story I could get my hands on, including one that introduced me to The Lady and the Unicorn.

This series of six medieval tapestries, now housed in the Musée de Cluny in Paris, is among the most famous examples of millefleurs design—literally “a thousand flowers.” The backgrounds bloom with intricate botanical detail, each thread contributing to a lush, almost dreamlike landscape.

Woven around the year 1500, likely in Flanders from wool and silk, the tapestries depict the five senses: touch, taste, smell, hearing, and sight. The sixth panel, bearing the phrase À mon seul désir, “to my only desire”, remains something of a mystery. Interpretations vary. Some see it as a renunciation of earthly pleasures, others as a declaration of free will, and still others as representing a kind of sixth sense.

I have always appreciated that it resists a single, definitive meaning.

Interestingly, the tapestries were rediscovered in 1841 at Boussac Castle after being hidden away for centuries. The novelist George Sand helped date them to the 15th century based on the clothing depicted—a reminder never to underestimate a woman’s eye for fashion.

Beyond their beauty, the tapestries reveal much about the world that created them. They reflect the relationship between artists and their patrons, with heraldic symbols woven into the designs. They echo the influence of the Christian church, as much of the art from this period does. Even the unicorn itself often carried symbolic meaning, sometimes representing Christ in medieval imagery.

They were not merely decorative. They were statements of wealth, power, and belief, while also serving the practical purpose of insulating cold stone walls.

Pardon the darkness of the picture, this was taken in 2009 and flash photography was not permitted

 

I almost missed them entirely.

When I traveled to Paris in April of 2009 during my study abroad, the trip itself was something of a last-minute decision. A friend mentioned he would be there, and so Erica, a fellow American and fellow fantasy enthusiast, agreed to join me.

There I was, in Paris, soaking in museums, history, and food (they did not lie, the food is exceptional), when I began noticing unicorn imagery everywhere. Bags, notebooks, pillows, souvenirs of every kind.

At first, I dismissed them as standard tourist fare.

It wasn’t until I found myself in Sainte-Chapelle, one of the most breathtaking churches I have ever seen, that curiosity got the better of me. I asked, somewhat casually, “Are those tapestries here in Paris?”

“Yes,” came the reply.

My excitement escalated rapidly.

“Where?”

“The Medieval Museum,” she said, kindly providing directions to what was clearly an overly enthusiastic American.

Erica, being an archaeology major, needed very little convincing. We immediately changed course and set off across the city. Did my feet hurt from walking nearly fifteen miles that day? Yes. Did I care?

Absolutely not.

There were unicorns to see.

(We will not discuss how we failed to navigate the subway system and instead walked nearly the entire historical district.)

It took considerable self-control not to sprint through the museum upon arrival. I made a valiant effort to behave like a reasonable adult, though I suspect I failed. While I attempted composure, I may have been not so quietly repeating “unicorn” under my breath.

I was twenty-one. Such enthusiasm was permissible. Although when exactly does that stop being permissible? I think I ought to be able to go through a museum excitedly bouncing up and down at all the artifacts and history regardless of age.

Finally, we reached them.

They were even more extraordinary in person than I had imagined.

Some works of art suffer from familiarity, diminished by reproduction. These did not. If anything, every image I had ever seen had undersold them. Up close, every thread becomes visible. Every flower distinct. The scale alone is impressive, but it is the detail that truly captivates.

It is impossible not to consider the time and labor embedded in them. Estimates suggest that a set of tapestries of this size could take dozens of weavers many months, if not over a year, to complete, not including the design work beforehand.

In today’s world, where we can purchase something decorative with a few clicks and have it delivered in days, it is difficult to fully grasp that level of craftsmanship and patience.

As I entered the dimly lit gallery, my excitement softened into something quieter.

Awe.

My breath caught as I approached. Time seemed to slow. I studied each panel carefully, tracing patterns, noting details, and wishing I had the botanical knowledge to identify every plant woven into the scene.

I said very little. What could be said?

No photograph does them justice. Images flatten them, shrink them, strip away their presence. Some things must be experienced in person to be understood at all.

Too soon, it was time to leave. There was still more of Paris waiting, and far too little time to take it all in.

Adieu, mon amour.

Perhaps we shall meet again.

Pardon the darkness of the picture, this was taken in 2009 and flash photography was not permitted

How can you see tapestries?

Well, you don’t have to hop on a plane to France to see tapestries. There are museums here in the United States that display various tapestries from the Medieval and Renaissance eras. If you are particularly interested in seeing unicorn tapestries after reading me wax poetic about them, there is a set of them at the Cloisters in New York which are governed by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They are a set of seven tapestries, also from around the same period as The Lady and the Unicorn and are in the style of the thousand flowers. Just as with the tapestries in France, these also hold mysteries such as how to interpret the tapestries and even who they were made for. Depending where you are in the country, a plane ride may or may not be necessary. 

I highly recommend if you ever get to either New York or Paris, to take time to see these masterpieces. Provided of course such things are of interest to you. You know by now, that I always tell people to skip that which holds no interest or intrigue to them. Life is too short to waste it on things you don’t enjoy. 

What a Wonderful World: Cultivating a Vacation Mindset When You’re Not on Vacation

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I think one of the reasons everything seems so much better on a vacation is because we’re able to leave behind the worries, stresses, and responsibilities of everyday life. IWhen I do go on vacation, not only do I leave it behind, I almost always have a “flex” day for when I return, I make sure all bills are paid up early and I make sure my house is spotless before I go. This means that I don’t have to worry about returning to housework, everything is paid for and I still have an extra day where I’m not working. I have an entire day to prepare to “return” to the mundanity of life with all the worries, stresses and responsibilities of everyday life. It also means that I don’t have to begin to prepare to return until after the vacation is completely over thus “protecting” the vacation mindset. Another protection I give myself is having things fairly planned out, with room to change them if the need arises, but having done most of the decision making beforehand means that not even the worry of a decision can possibly bother me. 

Sidenote: The flex day is usually spent snuggling my pets who missed me and ensures that I meet their emotional needs after being separated from me. It’s like a whole bonus vacation day and I love absolutely it. 

Cat snuggles! My biggest problem is my lap is too small for all my cats!

Because we’re able to “set aside” our “real” lives while away, it means that we are much more able to focus on what’s happening to really enjoy what’s happening in the present and savor those moments. Vacations just feel more fun even if we’re doing an activity that we could arguably do at home. 

Consider going to the beach or the lake. A day at the beach or lake nearby is lovely, but what about say going on a cruise and picking a day at a tropical beach. Objectively, a beach is a beach. Sand, check. Water check. Waves check. Yet, in comparison to my last day at the beach on the Atlantic coast vs my day at the beach on my cruise. The cruise one stands out as better. Why? Both trips, I spent time swimming in the water and then laid out under some shade to read my book. Perhaps it was less crowded, but I went to a less crowded beach before. Perhaps, it’s because I didn’t have to lug my chairs and towels. Maybe? Or perhaps it was the mindset I was in. I was mindful to be in the present. It seemed better because I was more relaxed and worry free. I simply was in the moment. All I was concerned about was the beautiful weather, the feel of sand between my toes and the gentle lapping of the waves as I sipped a drink and read. I was in my body in a way that I wasn’t really before. 

I would hazard a guess that was the biggest difference, not the location, not the fact that I was on a cruise or whatever else, but my mindset. If I went away for a vacation and life followed me there, I probably would be miserable and perhaps, vow to never visit that location again having associated it with a terrible experience. No wonder we’re all looking to escape to far flung places rather than living where we’re at. 

One doesn’t need to be on vacation to enjoy delicious food that with good presentation

So how does one cultivate a vacation mindset while doing things at home, perhaps on the weekend, a single day off or on an evening out? First, you must create some boundaries around those activities. For me, I may schedule a preparation evening the day before. One where I do a more thorough cleaning of the house or at least make sure it’s well straightened up so that when I leave to go do what I want to do, a bunch of housework isn’t lingering behind in my mind’s eye. I may look ahead of upcoming responsibilities such as bills or projects I need to get done and try to get as many of them done beforehand. My alternative is to have on my calendar a block of time dedicated to those activities. I find that when I block out time to get a task done, the stress associated with it diminishes greatly. Mostly because my brain is able to accept it will get done and then not worry about it. It also means disconnecting, airplane mode can be your friend or if you’re too afraid of that because you have children at home and you want to make sure you’re available in an emergency, setting your phone to “Do not Disturb” where you can still get phone calls in an absolute emergency. All of these things help me set a boundary to keep the outside world out of my leisure activities. 

By setting a boundary with the rest of the world, it’s much easier to cultivate mindfulness. What do I mean by mindfulness? I mean being fully present in the moment, being aware of the physical realm around you and your own body. One could call it being grounded in your current reality without being distracted by things in the past and the future. This allows you to turn the mundane into something extraordinary. Consider a trip to the farmer’s market. Apparently, this fairly ordinary thing here in Lancaster is a coveted activity by many a tourist and don’t get me started on the “farm to table experience” that people pay an arm and a leg for or as I call it Wednesday night’s dinner. 

When I go shopping, I am on a mission. I get in and out as quickly as possible, I have a list, I know where the items are at and I don’t want to spend a single moment lingering. I am busy and I have things to do. A tourist on the other hand, linger. They pick up the fruit and smell it. They admire the textures and colors of the different vegetables. They see the display baskets as quaint, harkening back to the days when all our food was sold in little markets and stands such as this one. They admire the baked goods, mouths almost watering in anticipation. They strike up a conversation with the farmer behind the counter asking curious questions. For them, this is their bucket list experience. For me it’s grocery shopping. The same place, the same activity, two completely different experiences. 

A delicious tomato pie from a local farmer! Truly a farm to table experience.

What might I find if I scheduled some extra time in my busy schedule to meander through the aisles? What delights might my eyes see? What smells might make my own mouth water if only I would pay attention? If one can turn grocery shopping into a bucket list experience, what might happen if when one goes to an event like a festival, concert or museum one cultivates this same mindset? As for Wednesday night’s dinner, a trip to Root’s Farmers Market on Tuesday can yield a farm to table experience without the price tag. Buy direct from the farmer at their stand to make in your own kitchen. 

If you take time to cultivate moments to be on vacation, even for an afternoon, you will find you are more refreshed and better equipped for the daily inconveniences and stresses of life. It is different than escaping into your phone which is merely a distraction and often fuels negative feelings about yourself. Unless you’ve carefully trained the Instagram algorithm to only show you cat videos – which I have intentionally from day one – scrolling on social media will not help you feel better. Being mindful connects you back to your body, relaxes you and allows you to cultivate moments of joy and gratitude even for simple things like a bushel of tomatoes. 

It isn’t about what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it. We can create amazing moments in the ordinary if we only open our eyes to see what a wonderful world we live in.

Murder?! At the Mount Hope Estate!

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I have been remiss, dear reader, in neglecting to tell the dastardly tale of the real beginning of my sister dates. Yes, technically, we did do the chocolate walk in October a few months before the night of the ‘incident”, but it was that very night that the idea itself took off and we determined to make it a monthly outing. 

It began of course with an invitation to dinner at the Mount Hope Estate, which the original mansion being built in early 1800’s and later additions in the late 1800’s makes it a unique blend of Federalist and Victorian styles. How apropos when considering the events of the night. At first, my sister lamented being unable to attend without a second guest, what would people say to show up to an event sans escort, but to go with a different gentleman would be quite out of the question for a married woman, such as herself. It of course fell to her sister to chaperone, or rather she could use the excuse to chaperone me her unmarried sister for a bit of fun together.  

Now any true society dinner begins with the mingling of the guests to share juicy gossip and tales of one another. Our hosts that night were no different, slipping tantalizing details of the other guests. And such scheming amongst each other as I never did before see. Perhaps, my friends are above such petty squabbles, or perhaps they are simply better at disguising their nefarious ways. Either way, keep your secrets to yourself lest you become the subject of such gossip! 

Having thoroughly enjoyed mingling, slowly sipping on wine and engorged ourselves on the latest potential scandals, we were called to be seated four our four course meal. The food was as delightful as the entertainment! A feast for both the eyes and the mouth! My sister and I compared notes from our careful study of the key players for the night. We sensed a plot afoot and we would not be caught out unawares. 

Well, we certainly were right in our suspicions for shortly after dinner, came the cries of murder! But who had done it and why? My sister and I only needed to give one another a short nod before jumping into the adventure to help solve the mystery! Naturally, we had to launch an investigation of our own, questioning the key players and making careful observations of the crime scene. Having made our careful inquiries we were certain we knew the culprit! Alas, we were fooled! ‘Tis a good thing, she and I were not official investigators or else an innocent would be locked up and the foul murderer would have escaped! 

As it turns out, the play rotates who “done it” so that even if friends share the experience with one another or social media, the night is not entirely spoiled ahead of time. A clever idea on the part of the organizers of the play. Our play was set in the 1940’s, so I donned an outfit to reflect the late 30’s/early 40’s to really help me “get into it”. It really is up to you how much to “lean into” the character of the night. 

I’ve done other dinner plays where the play happens around you as part of the process of dinner. While they were enjoyable, the added element of being able to get up to interact with the players as if you were actually part of the story was what elevated the whole experience. Additionally, the backdrop of a murder mystery in the midst of a Victorian mansion was an added bonus, few places can boast of. The mansion is not located among the bustling cities, but rather out in the countryside, surrounded by the fields of grapes for the winery which only added to the more gothic elements of the mystery. And did I mention the food? Mount Hope outdid itself with the food. That alone was worth the ticket price!  

So how can you find a murder mystery dinner?

I would suggest starting with google or facebook events to see what places in your area may periodically host one. If you have more than one option then, consider other “enhancements” to the experience. Do you have the option for a gothic Victorian mansion like myself? I certainly recommend thinking through the setting of your play. Is there a time of year that more suits you for mystery and fun, like in October or in the darkness of winter? You can also often see hints of the plot and setting that might strike your fancy more than another. 

I certainly encourage you to dress up a little, take on a “part” yourself and have a bit of fun with it. Obviously, don’t be an obnoxious audience member and try to be part of the play itself. Don’t go in stealing all the attention and confusing the other audience members who can’t tell if  you’re supposed to be part of the theater trope or not. However, a little more immersion can make your evening more magical.

Completed: March 2017

Miles from home: 11 

Cost: $60 per person  

I want to Live!

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I want to drink deeply from the cup of life. I want to see the wonders of nature. I want to try new things. I want to challenge myself. I want to grow and change and become a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I want to gain new skills. I want to meet interesting people. I want to see art, appreciate beauty, appreciate architecture and see with new eyes. I want to listen to music that is reminiscent of heaven and speaks to my soul. I want to stay up so late I see the sunrise the next morning. I want to dance and sing without regard to what others think. I want to take candid pictures and post them without filtering or editing. I want to take road trips. I want to be spontaneous. I want to run through the forest. I want to chase fog and make flower crowns. I want to visit coffee shops, browse thrift stores for treasures and explore craft fairs. I want to visit museums and archaeological sites. I want to explore places. I want to simply stop and admire the view. I want to make memories and deepen my relationships with people. 

I don’t want to spend my life in regret wondering about the chances I never took. I don’t want to spend hours scrolling through on my phone wishing I could have the life I see on social media. I don’t want to waste my time dreaming of things I can’t afford or do or places I can’t afford to travel to. I don’t want to miss out on the things I could be doing because I was too busy wishing for the things that are out of reach. I don’t want to spend all day with my head in the clouds not minding what is right in front of me. I don’t want to listen to the people telling me that what I am isn’t good enough or that my life isn’t there yet. I don’t want to miss the blessings I have demanding the blessings I don’t have yet. I don’t want to live in fear of what people might think or say or do because of being authentic to myself. 

Photo by Jens Johnsson on Pexels.com

My bucket list isn’t just a checklist, it’s a call to action to remind me that I get to create an adventurous life. It helps push me to keep trying new things and to seek out new experiences. I’m always adding things to my list and revising it. I am constantly on the lookout for opportunities and unexplored areas. I may not always be doing things that people would consider “bucket list worthy”, but they’re moments outside my usual routine whether it’s taking a train ride to do a wine tasting or dying a scarf.  

It’s also not about chasing the next thing because life is supposed to have the mundane and the routine. There will be dishes and laundry, there will be days at home with tea and books. There will be lazy mornings snuggling with cats. Those are moments to savor as well which is why adopting a cat is on my list. It’s about living. Whether it be the everyday moments or the extraordinary and all the moments in between.

And more than anything, dear reader, I want to live.