Enriched not Rich – Page 7 – Budget Bliss: Bucket List

Sunflower Fields: Turn Towards the Light

Published on August 17, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

“I don’t think there’s anything on this planet that more trumpets life that the sunflower. For me, that’s because of the reason behind its name. Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. During the course of the day, the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky. A satellite dish for sunshine. Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it. And that’s such an admirable thing. And such a lesson in life.” – Tim Firth

I have always loved sunflowers, but after hearing that quote, I adored them. I loved that they followed the light even when the sun was hidden away. No matter how dark their world becomes they turn to the light. Isn’t that just what we humans fail to do so often when our lives become darkened? What a beautiful reminder and how special it is that they do so resemble the sun to give us some of the light they have taken into themselves?

When one thinks of sunflower fields, one may think of the endless fields of Tuscany and forget to look in one’s own backyard. I will say that sunflower fields have been gaining popularity, at least in my area with farmers now taking time to plant fields for visitors to come and enjoy. Most will allow you to leave with a single memento of your visit. One flower to bring you sunshine. At Second Mountain, you are encouraged to bring as many containers as you can because for just a few dollars, you can pick as many sunflowers as you desire! And I did!

My mother and I drove up at the very end of the sunflower season to catch the last blooms of the season. We had been carefully awaiting this for almost a year as we had learned of this hidden gem to the north of us from a work colleague shortly after the sunflower season had ended. Unfortunately, peak sunflower season is in August which usually has beastly weather of heat and humidity. Being as my mother is an asthmatic those two are not the greatest combination for her being able to enjoy the great outdoors. Being allergic to bees, it was important for me to avoid warmer days when they would be more active, so we carefully watched both their facebook page and the weather, hoping for just the right conditions. Finally, at the end of the season the weather was just right; we packed up our car with containers and made the hour-long drive up north.

Even in their last days the fields were a glorious feast for the eyes. The vibrant flowers naturally were turned towards the evening sun. A rock cover band played in the background, which if you enjoy such things, I am certain it added to the enjoyment. Not being a fan of such things, I did not find it particularly enjoyable. I would have preferred a cello performance or swing band, but to each their own. I am not one to dictate to others what sort of music they can listen to or even if music should be playing. Just if you do visit a field with live music, bring your earbuds or headphones so that you can put on something you do enjoy if the music isn’t to your taste. Then again, even if there isn’t a live band, bring them anyway. It is good to have music close at hand to enhance an experience or help drown out unpleasant noise. The small crowd of people were taking photos and harvesting flowers. I took some time to photograph the sunflowers to help capture the glory of the fields, even the ones who were nearing the end of their life cycle.

Perhaps, I am a bit gothic in nature, but I always found the end of the growing season to be beautiful in its own right. There is a certain loveliness to the death of a flower; having lived brilliantly and gloriously, it now loses its color, going quietly into that good night to make way for the next season. There is a quiet stillness about it as it is no longer abuzz with visitors, often robbed of its seeds by birds or other creatures. It is only a shadow of itself, like an echo. What struck me as even in their last days, they still were turned faithfully to the sun, never losing the light.

Turning back to the brighter field, I gathered up sunflowers in my arms until I could carry no more. Walking through the golden sea, with my arms filled with flowers felt almost surreal, as if I had entered a dream. The flowers stand proud as if they are sentinels of the very sun itself. Stray breezes wind their way through the fields causing some to break their vigil to dance, perhaps rebelliously, but more likely for the sheer joy of our closest star.

Personally, I enjoyed the fields most when the band was quiet and I could simply enjoy the wonder of nature. To have time to disconnect from the world and tune into the natural world. It was almost transformative to be in their midst, laden with the flowers, as if I were about to become a nature spirit one with the fields. The quiet of the fields let me really listen to the ecosystem going on around me. The buzz of insects and the way the wind rustled through the flowers. Truly, a sunflower field is summer incarnate and I made certain to fill my car with lots of summer.

While I admonish your dear reader to not live in regret, I do have a small regret from our trip. Not having more containers to bring even more sunflowers home! Part of the joy of our trip was having a house filled with sunflowers. Every corner of our living room boasted these bright blooms. It was like we had brought the sunflower fields home with us! They lasted for about a week and a half which more than made the trek worth it, even though there were closer fields nearby which were just as glorious to witness.

How can you visit a sunflower field?

Unfortunately, most of the sunflower fields will not permit you to cut their flowers by the bucket full. So if you are looking for the ability to bring as much of summer home with you as possible, that may be a bit tricky or cost you quite a bit more than my $10 admission. However, there are plenty of places which offer sunflower fields to visit and photograph. Personally, the bigger the fields the better they are, but do not count out the smaller fields, for their charm.

I encourage you to take your time when visiting. Don’t fill it up with endless photos but rather take moments to pause and drink in the moment. The blossoms of the sunflowers are the last hurrah of summer before the leaves begin to turn and fall all too quickly becomes winter. Bask in the warmth of the season, let it seep into your bones for you will need those memories when the wind roars and cuts through to your core. Enjoy the brightness of the yellow blossoms, because color will be slowly drained away after one last defiant show by the trees. Take the memories with you into the winter of life so that way when the darkness comes, you can recall the lessons of the sunflower and turn towards the light.

Completed: Late Summer 2022

Miles from home: 45

Cost: $10

Making the Most of Your Travels

Published on August 13, 2024June 23, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

There are times when I do travel. At the time of this writing, I have gone on two cruises, spent a semester abroad, completed a mission trip and traveled a number of times over several states. I am not opposed to travel, though I have stated there are drawbacks to traveling especially when so many things may already be in your backyard if you just take the time to look. However, there may be things or experiences that just require travel. For example, I wanted to see a total solar eclipse. Not living in a place where that was happening in my lifetime, I was forced to travel. If you want to see the Great Wall of China you have to go to china.

Given the drawbacks to travel, environmental impact, overtourism, money involved in traveling, participating in exploitative practices, etc. it is important to make the most of your travels when you travel to minimize these drawbacks. As with everything else, do your research and be picky. When I went on my two cruises it may have been tempting to lounge about on the many sandy beaches. However as someone who is only a two to three hour drive from the beach, that wasn’t an activity high on my list. I remember distinctly telling my travel companions that if we were going to sit around on a beach we may as well drive to Maryland or New Jersey and save ourselves the time and expense as honestly beaches are fairly universal. Sand? Check. Ocean? Check. Beach. If you, dear reader, are living in the midwestern part of the United States, including a beach day in your cruise makes sense, for those of us from the coasts, we probably should consider other options.

Something I am mindful to do when traveling is to consider what are things that I simply cannot do in my own backyard? That isn’t to say that I refrain from doing anything that I can do in my own backyard, more that if given the choice of various activities, I will prioritize the ones that I cannot do or cannot do easily. When I went to Aruba, I opted to get on a submarine, as that wasn’t something I couldn’t easily do off the New Jersey shore. I saw the Panama Canal in Panama because it is a unique piece of engineering not replicated elsewhere in the world. I went to the Rain Forest in Costa Rica because like the Panama Canal, the rainforest simply can’t be replicated. That isn’t to say I didn’t go to the beach at all, I did pick one or two days that included the beach. It just wasn’t my first priority and the days I did go to the beach it was an add on to another excursion, like the caves in Curacao.

I was mindful when picking my itinerary to pick ones with the most places I wanted to experience or alternatively have excursions which include activities I want to experience. This can even stretch to smaller items. When departing from the New York port, I made sure to take time to get a good view of the Statue of Liberty when we left as I had never seen it. I took advantage of being at the equator in order to watch both a sunrise and sunset on the same day. In the north, I would have had to get up quite early to see a full sunrise and being as I am not a morning person, this would be difficult. Closer to the equator the sun rose and set at times more conducive to my schedule. These were small things, but I still got to enjoy them with just a little awareness of the opportunities around me.

The cast from the play in Stephen’s Green. Discovered by chasing down the gentleman on the far right through the streets of Dublin

This is not the time to necessarily be pig-headed about your agenda or have an agenda so full you cannot be spontaneous. Some of my best experiences come from being spontaneous. That is how I got on a tour of the capitol building in Washington, scored tickets to the British Shakespeare’s performance of MidSummer Night’s Dream in Dublin, and the unicorn tapestries in Paris. Cultivating a spirit of openness and adventure. The best strategy is one that includes openness to pivot to new opportunities.

The point is to be mindful about what you’re going to do and be mindful when you’re doing it. Don’t just travel to travel, use your time wisely. Thoreau told us to suck the marrow of life, suck the marrow from your trips! Consider carefully the itinerary of where you’re going, cast a wider net to capture the possibilities of the area, and be willing to indulge yourself on things that are inaccessible otherwise.

If you do go on a cruise ship, check out all of its offerings. On my very first cruise, I discovered it had a thermal spa suite outfitted with lots of things I had never tried before a sauna, steam room and salt room. For a little bit extra, I was able to purchase a pass to access it and found that I spent at least an hour there every day. Considering the very large hot tub and fewer people with beautiful views, it was certainly worth it. I also discovered the ship had a ropes course with a zipline. On another ship, we tried go-cart racing. Something else, I had been itching to try. I loved it, my sister not so much – needless to say we scratched that off our list of sister dates to do. So check out your ship, your hotel or wherever you may be for cheap/free options. It wasn’t like I could really go anywhere else, I had already paid to be able to use it in my fare, so I may as well make use of them and cross those items off the list. Trips I took during my semester abroad to made the best use of my time in Germany. By venturing forth from Marburg I was able to see places I’ve always wanted to see like Dublin, Paris, Berlin, Vienna and Rome. With Ryanair most of those plane tickets were under $50 bucks.

Be sure to check the dates of your trip for any special events that may be occurring in the area or be willing to adjust your dates if you discover there will be a special event in the area you want to go to. My trip to Dublin just happened to coincide with their Shakespeare Festival and a performance by the British Shakespeare Company. My trip to Vienna just happened to coincide with Monet’s Water Lilies being on exhibition at one of the many art museums. By paying attention to what was going on at a specific time, I was able to expand what I was able to do. Although contrary-wise, you may want to avoid going to places during certain times of the year. For example, avoid Disney World November through December, typically the park is open for almost 12 hours for you to enjoy. However, during the Christmas celebration, if you want to stay after dark you have to pay an extra $300 – $400 for a pass, that’s cutting your park time down by 5 to 6 hours unless you’re willing and able to pay an extra fee. Don’t go to Boston during the marathon in the spring if you want to avoid the crowds. Skip Florida’s beaches during spring break if you don’t want to be in an overcrowded place with a bunch of drunk, college students. Careful planning can help make or break your trip.

Photo by Vlad Alexandru Popa on Pexels.com

Try to add an extra day in order to add in something special. When leaving from the New York port, my family and I added an extra evening in New York to catch a Broadway musical, something my sister’s mother-in-law had never experienced and is on many people’s list. Yes, it was an extra expense but it would be more expensive to have to travel back up to New York just to see a show. When my sister went on her first cruise, she flew over a day early and enjoyed the sights of Barcelona, for a night at a hotel she was able to experience a whole city. Traveling is often one of the biggest expenses as well as your biggest carbon footprint, so by adding a little extra time, you can enjoy more. Good for your wallet and the earth!

As budget conscious people, it is important to get the most “bang for your buck” as it were. That isn’t to say pack everything full and rush around so quick you can’t even take in what you’re seeing, it is only to make sure you’re taking full advantage of what is nearby to maximize your experience. With careful planning and a spirit of adventure, you can make the most of your more expensive and far ranging trips.

Challenge Mode: Nerding Out in My Favorite Game

Published on August 10, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

It may surprise you dear reader, to discover that I am a bit of a nerd or perhaps it was obvious from the start. I have written about the importance of having bucket list items that are unique to yourself and I am a firm believer of practicing what one preaches as well as leading by example. Therefore, I will share with you one of the items that are unique to me. I’m not sure that I can be said to be a gamer as I don’t tend to play many different games. I usually tend to play one or two for a long time and they are typically mmo’s that play with my boyfriend as a joint activity.

However, I still have goals and enjoy completing challenges within the games that I play. In the spring of 2014, I found myself playing World of Warcraft’s Mists of Pandaria expansion with a singular goal, obtaining the elusive challenge mode armor. As the name implies, it was a specific challenge to be completed in the game. According to wowhead, only 9% of profiles obtained the achievement associated with obtaining the armor. That isn’t to say it was the hardest achievement in the game, I am certain there were more difficult challenges, but it certainly was difficult requiring a player to truly master an individual class. It was especially challenging, since I chose a class I had never played before, opted to “boost it” to skip over the pesky leveling process and then jumped into my first challenge mode dungeon without having done much more than read a general guide on how to play it which only added to the difficulty.

To those unfamiliar with games, I apologize if my description seems a bit obtuse, in the interest of brevity, I shall not overly burden you with lengthy explanations. I suppose the closest analogy that most people would get is to pretend that a class in a game was a position on a sports team, say a quarterback. The quarterback plays a specific role on the team and has specific responsibilities for that position. In a game, the positions have specific moves that only that position or class can utilize in the game. In this particular game, there are challenges known as dungeons in which a group of five players work together to defeat a series of bosses or “villains”. On second thought, I probably should have picked a different analogy considering how little I know about sports….I digress.

What made it challenging was that unlike the rest of the game, certain advantages that one could typically gain such as better equipment to make it easier to defeat bosses, inside the challenge mode dungeons those advantages were stripped away, requiring you to rely less on your equipment and more on your skill alone. Hence, the thrill of overcoming the challenge presented. Imagine if you will, you were given sneakers that helped you run faster and then you were asked to run the same race track again only this time they gave you shoes with lead weights attached. Then told you, you need to run the race even faster than you used to.

From Blizzard’s announcement. As you can see, they wanted to give us a mode where we could push ourselves as players.

One doesn’t need to have played wow or even any other video game to recognize that there is a certain satisfaction that comes from executing a skill based challenge rather than being afforded the ability to overcome it through other means. Consider bowling, if you score 70 – 100 points, it’s considered a good game. How would you feel if you executed a game with an end score of 120 on a lane with bumpers which prevent your ball from going in the gutter resulting in you obtaining points that would have otherwise been zero? How about if you executed the same score on a lane without bumpers? What about one that had obstacles or other handicaps? Almost all of us have had the experience of having the training wheels come off and being asked to perform at a high level. The sense of victory one feels at having conquered such a challenge is a rare treat in our modern age.

Each dungeon was timed, requiring a small team to execute the challenge within the limit in order to obtain the achievement. Not only that, but also the game required a player to complete the challenge on 9 different dungeons, each with their own mechanics and barriers. One had to learn how to quickly work with a group of strangers to execute a given strategy that may not always work given the makeup of the group you were with. Sometimes, a combination of classes simply did not work for a given dungeon like when I was on a druid healer and my boyfriend was playing his druid tank. There was one fight where the druid healer simply could not keep the tank up. We switched up the tank to a warrior and it was much easier to keep the warrior up for that particular fight than the druid. He switched to a different healer and had zero issues staying alive.

It was a bit of an adrenaline rush to play through the dungeons, responding in the moment to what other players were doing,and alternating how I was approaching a fight given the semi-randomness of the mechanics. I would use moves that I rarely if ever used before, because I never needed to. It felt like I was pushing each class to its limit of what it could do to pull out all the stops. I felt like I was learning more about how to actually play the healer role than I ever had before. I noticed that when I went into other areas of the game, it was much easier to recover bad pulls and botched mechanics.

My very first CM armor set! Isn’t it pretty?

Not to mention, it was just plain fun to dance around damage, throwing out heals, keeping other players from the brink of death, damaging the boss as time and mana allowed, all at a high level of performance. I enjoyed the hyper focus it required keeping an eye out on everyone’s health bars as well as the pools of damage one needed to avoid, making split second decisions about casting a move quickly or casting a slower spell to conserve mana, being mindful of the cooldowns on all of the moves that one could use and and timing them to support the cooldowns the other players were using at the same time. One wrong decision could mean having to restart the entire dungeon again.

There were so many failed attempts. I spent hours trying to conquer just one of the dungeons, trying again and again. Still, at the end of each successful attempt, I was elated. At the end of all nine, I had the sweet reward of victory, the achievement, a cool mount and of course one of the best looking armor sets in the game. Might some people think it’s worthless chasing a digital reward that only appears in a digital world? Perhaps, but it represents having conquered a particular skill based challenge. As I stated before, only 9% of profiles obtained this achievement, so I think it’s something worthy to brag about. Besides, it’s my list and I can do what I want!

One of the great things about playing games is that skills gained in a game can be generalized to life outside of the game. I found myself more confident in overcoming challenges in my everyday life and managing stress and anxiety in the moment to still perform at a high level. In other words, managing my performance stress in the game, helped me manage my performance stress at my job and school. It also helped me gain skills in working with other people in high stress situations to achieve mutual goals, something that as a social worker, I’ve needed to do many times. There is value in pushing yourself even in a leisure activity to perform at a high level of skill because of how those skills transfer to other areas of your life.

So what’s your challenge armor?

Obtaining the challenge mode armor is now an impossibility, (at least for now) as the dungeons to obtain them were removed from the game after the release of Warlords of Dreanor. However, the principles of this item can still be obtained whether you play WoW or not. The first principle is of course picking an activity that is unique to you. Maybe you don’t play games, but you knit or garden. The second is pushing yourself to perform that activity at a high level of skill. Is there a sewing project that is particularly difficult? Maybe there’s a musical piece that is known to be a beast to play. Maybe you play a sport and you want to master a certain skill.

You may be surprised at how satisfying it is to have mastered something new and the confidence that follows to other areas of your life. Perhaps, you will need to involve other people and make new friends along the way or strengthen existing relationships through a mutual bond of overcoming the challenge together. Even years later, those who completed the challenge modes with me reference that time together and talk about the experience. In fact, I enjoyed completing the achievement so much that in the following expansion I jumped at the chance to get the new challenge mode dungeons completed to obtain special weapons.

Completed: Summer/Fall 2014 (I completed it on Paladin, Druid & Priest)

Miles from home: 0 – completed from my computer

Cost: $15 monthly sub-fee as well as $60 for the expansion at the time.

Why even have a bucket list at all? Carpe Diem!

Published on August 6, 2024June 23, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Some people may rightly wonder, why have a “bucket list”? After all a bucket list is all the things you want to do before you “kick the bucket” (die) and unless you’re actively dying, why bother? Don’t you have your whole life ahead of you? Some may think it even arrogant or foolhardy to bother focusing on all these things instead of what’s right in front of them, the job, the house/apartment, the family, etc. You may even be accused of living a “check the box life” of only doing things on your bucket list to “check them off” instead of experiencing them or as social currency badges “look at me, I’m so cool!”. Others may look at it as a hedonistic form of self-aggrandizement. That certainly can be the case if a bucket list isn’t approached correctly. However, it isn’t about the thing itself, but rather how you use it.

Pulling from positive psychology, it’s about trying to make life memorable and perhaps, even meaningful. In fact, some experts theorize that without peaks (i.e. “grand” events) our memories are fuzzy messes. There’s some research to suggest that accomplishing bucket list items helps set memories. Most adults have pretty good memories of their childhood and early adulthood. Those times are often marked by clear beginnings and endings, the start of school, the field trips, the graduations. Once adult life hits and it’s the same day in day out stuff, you begin to find yourself losing track of the years. It goes by in a flash, ten years feel life five. It isn’t just that it’s a smaller percentage of your life. There’s something to suggest that when you were younger there were lots of new and novel things going on to make time “stand out” without novel “adventures” your adult life is just a smear of work with the occasional night out. Since beginning my bucket list journey, time has gotten back some of its meaning.

A Bucket List also just keeps life exciting, after all who would want to live a life without some peaks? It helps bring a sense of fulfillment, gratitude and awe about the world. Keeping an adventurous spirit can lead to all sorts of wonderful experiences. It can also get you out of a “slump”. If my only “bucket list” item was to go to Iceland and see the Northern Lights, I might overlook all the amazing experiences I was having right here and be perhaps a bit depressed by not accomplishing this life long goal. By looking around me for fun experiences right nearby, I have had so many amazing days and done so many cool things that I would have never done otherwise. I still have my bigger items, but I’m not longing for something that might never come. Instead, I’m living right now.

Bucket lists can help set goals which can motivate us to accomplish things and when goals are specific they are the most motivating. These are specific, concrete goals and by having a bucket list there semi-looming the background it can motivate you to actually go forth and conquer! A bucket list inherently reminds you that your life is short, shouldn’t you be going and making the most of it? A budget bucket list approach reminds you that life is short, shouldn’t you be looking around yourself to live right now instead of once every three to four years for maybe a week if you’re lucky?

Bucket lists can be useful on your journey of self-discovery, to assess values and understand what you truly want out of life. Henry Theoreau encourages us to suck the marrow from life and to live deliberately. A bucket list can help you reflect on what that means for you on an individual basis. How will you live deliberately? What will give you joy? What things are important to you? How do you want to spend your time? Scrolling on a phone, looking at all these people “living” as they sell you stuff you don’t even use because you’re spending all your time on a phone? Seriously, what’s the point of even having a house if your world is a couch and a screen? My bucket list are things that are meaningful to me, that reflect my interests and personality. I spend my free time on the things that matter: my cats, my dog, my books, my violin, my garden, my friends, my family and the adventures big or small with those that I love and care about.

Now, this other piece, I will say with a BIG grain of salt as I’m not, as of this writing, totally “sold” on the idea. However, there is this theory that has been making the rounds for almost a century (perhaps longer) called “The Law of Attraction”. Its most basic premise is that like attracts like. Good vibes lead to good things, bad vibes lead to negative outcomes. So if you want to be rich, you have to put yourself in a “rich” state to “attract” wealth. Often people will use things like vision boards, gratitude journals, and positive affirmations in a bid to have the universe respond in a miraculous way to help them obtain the things they are trying to attract. They will also try and look for positives in a given situation, identify negative thinking and work to reframe events in a positive way. That is the most basic explanation and if you think this is a completely looney idea, you’re not the only one.

Surprisingly, many successful people from past presidents, to movie stars, to silicone valley entrepreneurs all swear by this “law”. These are smart, successful people not some guy living in a garage with a tinfoil hat against the alien invasion. There is even some limited support of the theory in things like positive psychology. We know that visualization of goals helps increase performance. Many top athletes will visualize their games ahead of time and see positive results. So there does seem to be some truth to the idea. If we consider that luck is opportunity + preparation, then we can see how something like the law of attraction may be useful, even if it’s not actually “attracting” anything.

Consider the following, someone who buys into the law of attraction wants to become a professional football player. He may practice extra hard, he may visualize his plays and he is on the lookout for potential opportunities. He may hear through the grapevine that a recruiter is coming to the second half of a game, in part because he’s paying attention. He speaks with the coach to make sure he gets a chance to play on the field during the time the recruiter will be there. He gets recruited and the rest is history. Did he attract it? Or was it something else? After all we tend to notice opportunities when we’re focused on finding them. If he hadn’t been so focused on his dream, maybe he wouldn’t have heard about the opportunity. If he hadn’t been prepared, maybe he wouldn’t have been able to make use of that opportunity. I’m sure there are many star athletes out there who are never discovered despite their visualizations and affirmations, but then again maybe they ended up using those same talents in other areas that ended up being far more rewarding than a football career.

Listening to the stories of those who believe in it, it seems hard to deny that there is something to it because they have so many “manifestations” come true for them. Personally, I’m not sure that I believe I can just get the universe to give me stuff because I’m vibing good vibes. After all, there is such a thing as a bias against negative data. We hear about 100 people being successful with the law of attraction and think there’s something to it but never hear about the 10,000 people who’ve tried it and found nothing. Regardless, I do believe in preparation and opportunity, as that is how I get most of my bucket items done. I’ve listed out the things I want to do and then I go looking for cool events nearby, creating opportunities for myself. Some people may say that I’ve “attracted” a lot of things through the law of attraction. I might say that I just kept an eye out and that keeping a bucket list keeps me motivated to keep looking.

Either way, the principles of the law of attraction aren’t bad things to do and I don’t think they cause any harm. Call it a wager, I’m wagering that it works because if it does awesome! If it doesn’t, I haven’t lost anything by practicing gratitude, looking for the positives in a negative situation, reframing negative experiences and creating vision boards of what I want my life to look like. Positive psychology says all of these things are healthy and can improve mental health. Utilizing the bucket list can help you with these things such as cultivating gratitude for all the things you have experienced with a reverse bucket list or reframing a negative experience of missing out on a total solar eclipse in 2017 as a good thing because it meant that I ended up going to Vermont in 2024 and had an amazing experience!

Lastly, whether I have a terminal disease or not, I am getting older and I won’t be around forever. My mother became disabled at 46, she’s had twenty surgeries in twenty years, she now lives with me because she can’t live on her own. Several years ago, she had bilateral clots in her lungs and she almost died. She worked herself into sickness and almost to death. Because she was living to work, she didn’t get to really do the things she wanted to do in life. Do not mistake me, she worked really hard to provide me a good life. Now, I try to help her live her own bucket list items as her health allows – in fact, most of my current long distance travel is to check things off her list. It’s the biggest reason that I go on cruises; it’s a way for her to be able to travel because they’re much more accessible for her.

Unfortunately, many of her health problems are genetic and her family has a history of illness. This means I have a high likelihood of developing similar health issues. It’s not a given, as I’m doing my best to stay healthy with diet and exercise. But I’m aware that I may very well end up with chronic illnesses that prevent me from doing as much as I would like. We never know what the future holds, we don’t know when we’re going to “kick the bucket”. I aim to live deliberately, to suck deep from the marrow of life, right where I am. Carpe diem!

Unique Items onto Yourself

Published on July 30, 2024June 22, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Now there are some experiences that for you are bucket list items that others may scoff at as being worthy of gracing such a list. Their reactions may be from a misunderstanding of the significance of the experience whether historically, culturally or personally or borne out of some ignorance on their part as to the value of such an activity.

Take video games for example. Already some of you are rolling your eyes and dismissing the whole example – bear with me gentle readers! Video games have been considered a lesser art and base activity for many years. People scoff at the idea of e-sports as being a legitimate activity. I would say that those who are rolling your eyes have not taken a closer look at the industry or the history of other previously derided activities.

Years ago actors and actresses were considered little better than prostitutes yet now the are celebrated for their artistic talent and skill. They hold some of the highest social status in our society which is quite the reversal. We view the cinema now as being worthy of being carefully critiqued, as equal to opera in sophistication and artistry. We may consider that some films are as important to see as some books are to read. I daresay that we will soon be considering certain video games equal in value to any great opera, play, symphony or film.

Certain sports used to be considered reserved for the lower classes mostly the competitive sports whereas the more non-competitive activities such as music and dance were reserved for the upper class. The upper class certainly had semi-competitive sports like hunting and shooting, but you’ll note that they were with few exceptions non-contact sports. After all, we wouldn’t want young Archibald the Third to get a broken nose, think of how he’d look when he presents himself to his majesty! We wouldn’t want him to look like a common thug! However, now we push our children into these contact sports and laud lofty goals of scholarships and going professional.

These examples are to help make my point that for you, as an individual, there may be things on your list of things to achieve or experience which our culture may not value or encourage us to do. No one needs to understand your obsession with knitting and how for you a certain project may be your magnum opus. Celebrate it! Add it to your list! Maybe you want to make Challenger tier in League of Legends. Being as only .0024% of players reach Challenger, that certainly would be like making the Olympics. You don’t need to justify to anyone the amount of skill, dedication and knowledge it would take to achieve that. People who scoff at that may as well scoff at a Chess Grandmaster. Learning a programming language is just as worthy as learning a spoken language. The same can be said of creating an entire conlang.

The items for you don’t even need to be that big of a deal, they could just be things you want to do for fun. Not everything on your list needs to be elevated or lofty, some things could be small or even a bit silly. For example, I would very much like to see a drive-in movie. I love nostalgic things and experiencing pieces of the past as it enriches my understanding of historical events and cultures. It’s a fun diversion and would certainly be a different way to see a film. This certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it is mine so it’s on my list and it isn’t something I would think would grace many other people’s list.

The point is not to be afraid to celebrate your personal achievements loudly and proudly. These achievements don’t have to be meaningful to anyone else but yourself. Part of living your best life is to do it in a way that is authentic to yourself without allowing other people’s negative judgements hold you back from pursuing activities that are meaningful to you. After all, the only person who is living your life is you!

Japanese Tea Ceremony

Published on July 27, 2024June 22, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

“There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be diminished by a nice cup of tea.”. – Bernard-Paul Heroux.

When I was about five years old, I was obsessed with tea parties. I was first introduced to them through my mother’s own passion. She would take us to the local herb shop and the tea shop nearby to purchase quality tea and scones. At home, the water would be boiled and poured into a china pot, a timer set for the proper amount of time for brewing and then carefully poured out into the cups. It was during this time that she imparted to me the rules of tea, how to hold the cup, what order the tea should be poured out to each guest, the polite amount of sugar to add, when to add milk, how to stir it without making a ruckus. I learned the difference between afternoon tea and high tea (it’s not the same thing), that one eats the savory first then the sweets and exactly how one eats a scone properly (by breaking it apart into small bits).

Over tea, she taught me about Victorian England and the antiques that decorated our house. She was quite fond of the late Victorian era, and I developed the same fondness. As part of my education, she bought me a tea book for my birthday. I was elated (yes, I was a strange child, I grew up to be a strange adult and I’m okay with this fact). I flipped through the pages and discovered an entirely new sort of tea, the Japanese Tea Ceremony. The book did not go into it overly much but it did allude to the sorts of things one might encounter, the special Macha tea, the whisk and the sweet that they might serve. In combination with my discovery of the Karate Kid, my love of Japanese culture was solidified and later reinforced with my introduction into anime (which I won’t get into here, other than Princess Mononoke was a definitive experience of my childhood).

Ever since my discovery of the Japanese Tea Ceremony and all things Japan, I had wanted to experience it for myself. I got the chance in the summer of 2021, when I took the hour drive out to Shofuso Japanese Cultural Center. The house was designed by Junzo Yoshimura as a 17th century style home. It was built in Japan in 1953 utilizing traditional techniques and then shipped to New York as part of the Museum of Modern art. It found its home, however, in West Fairmount Park in 1958 where it has graced the greater Philadelphia area ever since nestled in a beautiful Japanese Garden. It includes a pond garden with a waterfall, island, koi fish, traditional tea house and bathhouse.

Walking through its gates, one could easily forget that one has not in fact hopped on a plane to the middle of Japan. Every corner of the building is a beautiful work of art, carefully tended and maintained. What delighted me was the dedication to keeping the building authentically Japanese. Unlike in America when something like a floorboard has some sort of damage or rot, the Japanese do not uproot the whole floorboard and replace it. Instead they cut around the damaged section and then fill it in like a puzzle piece. There was a sort of beauty in keeping the story of time rather than a focus on perfection. Flaws were a natural outgrowth of a house in use and there was a sort of artistry in the repair.

Men and women in kimonos graciously answered questions about the house and pointed out its secrets. They informed us that the murals of the house were donated by an artist in 2007 and were inspired by the waterfalls. They told us about the hinoki bark root (the only one outside of Japan) and how it took 1.4 million dollars to repair it back in 1999. They were excellent hosts whose presence engendered a sort of respectful quiet in the guests. It is not that we did not speak, only more in hushed whispers as to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere. It is a house that invites calm reflection and relaxation rather than exuberant outbursts.

In the heat of the summer, my sister and I explored the small garden which encircles the house. We took a moment to pause by the Buddha statue, littered with small offerings and tucked away among the bamboo. We sat in quiet reflection watching the lazy circles of the koi fish which were only interrupted when a tourist decided to feed them. The noise of the nearby city melted away and one could almost believe that we had stepped through a portal to the other side of the world.

Soon we were invited to sit for tea. A woman dressed in a beautiful kimono came out to prepare the tea for us. While she began to prepare the tea. The male host graciously explained the “ceremony” as not a ceremony but more a set of expectations of manners that one should adhere to when invited to a formal tea in Japan. I suppose in truth, it was no more a “ceremony” than a proper English tea though perhaps the rules were a bit more structured to give the illusion of ceremony or ritual. One could make arguments either way – but he was speaking as a Japanese person and he indicated that it wasn’t a ceremony persay, so I am going to believe him as the expert in his own culture.

We were instructed that we would be expected to admire the carefully chosen decorations such as the scroll. He explained the symbolism of the arrangement of the flower. As the woman began to prepare the tea he explained the different instruments and tools that she was using the small white cloth, the bamboo whisk, the scoop, tea powder and the metal pot to heat the water.

First, the hostess brings in all the tools necessary for the tea preparation and then begins cleansing the utensils. Then she carefully places in the powder and hot water into the cup and whisks it expertly into a perfectly foamed tea. The cups of tea were passed around to the various guests and our male host continued his lesson.

We were instructed in how to pick up our cups, turn it the proper 90 degrees and to take slow sips. He explained that we would be expected to admire the craftsmanship of the cups and to express appreciation for everything the host had done for us.

The tea made from the matcha powder had almost a soft, velvety texture in my mouth. It was a bit more potent than a typical green tea, but lacked the harsh bitterness that the black teas can have. Despite the heat of the day the hot tea was refreshing. I enjoyed the texture of the cup in my hand and took in the smell of the tea.

We were also given a sweet to enjoy along with the tea. I felt quite terrible as the host had gone through great trouble to prepare the sweets and it had a jello like substance to it. Unfortunately, I have a sensory issue with jello as it makes me gag. I graciously accepted it and forced it down as I did not wish to offend her by refusing. However, I may still have offended her with my face. It did taste delicious, it was the texture of the jello that made it difficult to swallow.

Despite my potential faux-pas, it was a delightful time and dream come true and the following year, I was surprised to find myself once again at a Japanese Tea Ceremony. This time armed with previous knowledge and in a more intimate though less peaceful setting.

Each year, there is an annual tea festival in my state. As previously stated, I am a bit obsessed with tea. Together my sister, myself and my mom journeyed to a small town only an hour and a half away from home to a cozy tea shop tucked away along the main street. Behind the unassuming little tea house is a beautiful hidden garden which is where the highlights of the festival take place. Unfortunately for us, the day was quite wet, necessitating for much of the festival to be moved to the inside of a nearby church. This meant that the church basement was crowded, loud and somewhat uncomfortable.

So it may surprise you to hear that within the noise and the crowd, I stumbled across an oasis of peace and zen, a small tea ceremony. A woman sat on the stage, her small tea house set up and invited you to sit. My sister and I eagerly took our seats in anticipation having so thoroughly enjoyed our last tea ceremony and my mother followed close behind. With a small polite bow and a tiny smile tugging on the woman’s lips, the ceremony began. Do not ask me what magic spell the woman wove, I only know that under her expert care, the crowd disappeared from my mind. For a small window of time, we were transported out of the world and into a quiet pocket of serenity. We took our time sipping the tea and making conversation. As expected, my sister and I expressed admiration for the cups and remarked on her beautiful display. We enjoyed the sweet treat offered (thankfully nothing gelatin, so I did not have to repeat my unfortunate behavior of last time!) We complimented her and thanked her for her time and consideration both verbally and with a small donation to help support the tea house in Philadelphia. All too soon, we found ourselves back in the crowded basement, but I shall always remember the spell that such skill can weave. That is after all part of the point of the tea ceremony, to approach the act of drinking tea with a mindfulness; to transform the mundane into an extraordinary art that allows the participants to enter into a calm space. Tea, dear reader, really can be magic.

How can you participate in a tea ceremony?

If you live within a reasonable distance to Philadelphia, then you can buy tickets to the Shofu Teahouse and for an additional cost, participate in their tea ceremony. You can also check out the PA Tea Festival as the teahouse typically sends a representative to perform small ceremonies for the guests of the festival.

If not, then google is as always, your friend. See if there are any Japanese cultural clubs or organizations in your area. They may offer classes or demonstrations to the public.

A word of caution, do not join a cultural organization only to check off something off your list; someone else’s culture is not your personal playground. As with any cross-cultural experience it should be done with genuine curiosity and humility. The tea ceremonies I attended were extended by invitation to the general public. I did my best to participate with respect and to be a student of their culture.

The Long Haul

Published on July 23, 2024July 23, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

We live in a right now world. We have amazon next day delivery. We have Netflix to stream movies directly to us. We can download our videogames off steam. Instantly find the answer using google. There are few things in life that we have to wait for which fuels our desire for instant gratification. Even a lot of our bucket list items are intended for an afternoon or a week. We spent the week backpacking through a European country, cross it off the list. It may have required some forethought and planning, but it was still done relatively quickly. But what about those things that require a long time, like learning a language or losing a lot weight? How about mastering a skill like blacksmithing or an instrument?

Learn German in 90 days! As someone who took it for 8 years of her life and spent 5 months in the country speaking it, the book is a failure. It wasn’t even useful as a review of the language after not speaking it for nearly 10 years. Get massive biceps gains in just one day with this crazy method! I had nothing to lose but a day, my biceps were sore. They did not grow massively, I assure you. Fad diets and diet pills are probably the worst of these items because not only do they not work in the long run, they can be incredibly damaging. They do not help you keep the weight off and may impact your health in the long term to make managing weight even more difficult than before.

At the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. Learning German wasn’t done in a day, but years.

Some of our goals and experiences are going to be things we have to do for the long haul. You want to learn a skill and not just try a skill, you’re going to have to put in the time, effort and sometimes expense to do so. I could do the free version of duolingo but after 5 mistakes, I would either have to wait hours for the hearts to recharge or purchase more hearts. I may as well pay for the monthly plan to help me achieve my language learning goals as I am reviewing German and learning Spanish. I’ve been at it for almost a year now and my German is almost back to where it was at the end of college, and my Spanish is still very basic. Granted, I only spend about 15 minutes a day on either language so because I don’t put in my time, my results aren’t as fast.

If I truly wanted to learn how to forge weapons, I would need to go weekly to the forge, buy my own steel and work hard to develop the skills necessary to make beautiful weapons. Heck if I really wanted to learn how to do it, I would learn smelting as well to master the entire process. Not only would this require time, it would require me to sacrifice other things as well. One can either be a jack of all trades or a master of one. If I spent my time at the forge, I probably wouldn’t have time to devote to my violin. My choosing the violin, I am saying no to many other activities that might fill my time. I’m not drawing or taking photographs. I’m not learning computer programming. Pursuits that I have at times toyed with but ultimately did not devote myself to.

Sometimes we dabble in things, we may for instance take a six of twelve week course in photography or ceramics. We may take a single lesson in glassblowing or falconry. We know that these things will not confer onto us any modicum of true skill, but the taste is enough to satisfy. These are another form of “good enough” which I discussed in another post.

However, for something we truly want to master. It requires something we have seemingly precious little of, time. One cannot become fluent in a language with a workshop or a twelve week class. It took me nearly eight years to become conversational in German and that was with semi-daily practice as I took it in both High School and college. It became quite stagnant with disuse. For one to be able to say one is fluent in a language it requires daily practice and use or else the most you will be able to say is that at one time you were fluent, but no longer. Oh it comes back quickly enough when you’re thrown in a situation requiring the language, but you are clumsy and stupid with it, the rules have gotten all muddled up in your brain and really why did the ancients insist on such an obtuse grammatical rule as changing the article based on the case? Why can’t the German “the” be, “Der, die, das, den, dem, or des”?

Taking a glass blowing class: To become proficient would takes weeks, to master would take years.

I encourage you to be judicious with the things you pick and not to overindulge in your ideas of what could be. I devote myself to just a few daily pursuits because frankly, I am a busy person. I haven’t the time to do much else. I have carefully chosen a few things that I want to do well that speak to me personally more than other activities and rarely skip on doing them. Attempting to cram in more items would mean not doing any of them all that well and I may as well not bother with more than the occasional workshop or short course on the subject.

Now dear reader, you will not be able to become a multilingual, black belt in karate, computer engineer, doctor, guitar player, chess grandmaster, and astronaut, not unless you suddenly come into a lot of wealth and find yourself with both the time, discipline, coaches and tutors to achieve such a thing. Even then I would imagine, it would take a good ten years or so to achieve any of that. If you are not willing to put in the time and effort, it would be best to eliminate the mastery of the thing and go with simply trying the thing instead. There is nothing wrong with that and no shame in the decision. Some people are meant to be jacks-of-all-trades and masters-of-none and there are those who are meant to master one thing and be amazing at it. This is what you must consider dear reader. There are things that you want to accomplish that will not be done on a weekend or in two or three months. They may be life long pursuits that require daily practice to truly achieve the things you want to achieve with them. They will require you to give up other items in order to make room for them. By all means pick that which gives you joy and makes your heart sing. The journey will be long, frustrating and trying, but the reward will be sweet.

Learn an Instrument: Rediscovering a Passion

Published on July 20, 2024June 15, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

One of the definitive moments in my life is sitting on the couch staring at my mother’s boombox in absolute rapture as Pacabel’s Canon in D played. I was in love. It was without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard, the violin. It was not simply an instrument, oh no, this was the very voice of my being. If I lose my ability to speak, let me only speak in notes and songs. If someone gave me a choice between becoming deaf or blind, I would pick blindness every time, do not deny me music, it is the very sustenance of my soul.

I unfortunately would have to wait several years before being offered the opportunity to play, but in 3rd grade our school offered us music lessons. I was absolutely elated to be able to pick the violin. I would have no other instruments. But oh, how I struggled to master it. The violin is a very easy instrument in principle. After all, how hard can it be? You have four strings, you press down your fingers to shorten said strings in order to achieve the different notes and to produce the sound you move a bow across. Other instruments require learning combinations of key presses to produce the sounds and controlling your breath to go up and down octaves. Surely those are much harder to master.

It is in fact considered one of the most difficult instruments to learn. In part because it is such an easy thing in principle it lends itself to having a wide variety of producible sounds and variations of intonation. Additionally, it has no guides; each note (with exception of the open strings) must be produced flawlessly with little more than muscle memory and your ear to guide you as you slide your hand up and down the neck of the violin. The spacing between your fingers varies depending on the “position” you’re in, the higher the position the closer you must space your fingers to produce the correct notes in tune. You are constantly adjusting with little more than a prayer.

There are no words to describe the thrill of playing with mastery, effortlessly hitting the notes, cheekily moving your bow in just the right way to go from quiet to loud, hitting the bow catch to enhance the power behind the stroke, connecting the notes together in a slur or punctuating them with a staccato. The violin may be one of the most challenging, but it is also one of the most rewarding because it allows you to have so much expression and creativity with the interpretation of a piece of music.

This isn’t to knock other instruments or to write a post about the superiority of one instrument over the other. For me, the violin is the best instrument it speaks to me in a way no other instrument or creative expression can. Which is really what this bucket list item is for me. It’s about utilizing the violin to express myself in an entirely new way. Playing is a simple joy.

My collection of intermediate pieces that I have chosen to master over the next year or so

Sadly this was not always the case. I loved the violin and my parents knew this, so they encouraged me to pursue a potential music career. For reasons, I will not fully explain; I ended up with PTSD and unfortunately a secondary anxiety disorder. This greatly negatively impacted my ability to play. From a psychological perspective, my voice was silenced. I tried to hold on to it but the more I fought to keep my voice the worse it got and the worse my playing got. After high school, having failed my auditions for acceptance into a music program, I put the violin away. I kept telling myself that it was only temporary and I would practice again soon. It wasn’t until nearly 17 years later that I picked it back up again.

I can’t say exactly what makes it different this time, only that I am playing 100% for myself. It isn’t to perform or to achieve anything. It was remembering why I loved playing in the first place, to reclaim that joy rather than focusing on achievement. Not having that pressure to compete has made going back to music like falling in love all over again. I think sometimes when we start to push ourselves into making our passions a profession or career or business it robs us of that joy. I probably wouldn’t have lost my music for 17 years if my violin playing had only been for joy as it is now. Granted the PTSD and secondary anxiety didn’t help but I wouldn’t have felt anxious about my playing if the playing had only been for its own sake and not my entire future.

I cannot describe in words what it feels like to play now. Only that it feels like coming home. I approach it with a child’s enthusiasm and uncritical spirit. Mistakes are not a death sentence but a whimsical learning opportunity. I don’t mind people listening to my practice sessions, let them listen! I am in my own world once my boy hits the strings and I am in love with the violin once again. I almost never go a day without playing. It sustains me as much as food or water. A life without music was a life without color.

Revisiting a piece I had mastered in middle school.

I could have checked off “learn and instrument” from my reverse bucket list and continued to allow my violin to languish in the closet, but I didn’t because this wasn’t about learning to play an instrument, it was about rediscovering something that was lost and reclaiming it as my own. I wonder dear reader what creative outlets have you lost over the years? What passions have lain fallow under the guise of failure and self-doubt? What have you stopped doing because you weren’t “good enough”? What might happen if you picked it back up again? Would you rediscover a childlike wonder? Would you find yourself itching to get back to it after work? Would you find yourself refreshed in a way you haven’t been in a long time, like a desert after a rainstorm? Remember this isn’t to “turn your passion into a career”, so often that mindset was the very thing that turned you off your passion to begin with. Dear reader, you need not justify all that you do, sometimes you just love something; it brings you joy and that is the only justification that you need to pursue it

How can you rekindle your lost passions?

If you’re like me, you may find your instrument hidden away in a closet somewhere only in need of a little TLC to get started once again. Perhaps, it requires a trip to the art store. Maybe you need to reach out to an intramural sports team. Whatever it is, chances are you already know how to get back into it, you just need to take the steps to do it. Even something like dance can be done by just clearing a little space in a room. After several months of play, I invested in new strings. After several more months, I am in search of a violin teacher to help coach me further.

Good Enough

Published on July 16, 2024July 19, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

There are many experiences that absolutely require “authenticity”. They require the larger cultural context of a given region, country, ethnicity, culture, etc. to be the genuine item. There are many others that don’t require much more than themselves. These are the “good enough” items that clear the bar of the Bucket List without the rest of trappings of a given thing (often those trappings require you to hop on a plane and go to a different country).

I often work backwards to my “good enoughs”. I may find myself dreaming of going to Japan. I may picture walking through a traditional Japanese house, enjoying a tea ceremony, taking in a Japanese garden, visiting one of their Buddhist temples, strolling through the bamboo, seeing the cherry blossoms, eating their street food, and seeing demonstrations of their weaponry and armor. Upon reflection, I realized I could do almost all of these things here in America. I was able to go to the Japanese Gardens with the tea house and enjoy a tea ceremony. I went down to the annual cherry blossom festival in D.C. and enjoyed street food, weapons demonstrations, music, fashion and more. These are my “good enoughs”. I didn’t need to go to Japan in order to say that I experienced the genuine item, because I found them here.

By thinking about a given Bucket List place and considering what I wanted to get out of a trip there, I was able to then build up a list of things to find nearby. I really want to see the lavender fields in France. I found a lavender field within driving distance to go visit, the same with the sunflower fields of Italy and grape stomping. Some things may be more accessible than you might imagine. I have been consistently surprised at what’s in my own backyard and what I could potentially do.

What makes a genuine item, “genuine”? It is often up to our own ideas and definitions. There may be people who say that unless I strolled through the crowded streets of Tokyo and ordered a ramen bowl from a street vendor in Japanese, I didn’t have the real Japanese experience. Perhaps, but I tend to feel that such a view comes from self-important snobs trying to aggrandize their own experiences at the expense of trying to cheapen the experiences of others. Don’t fall for the lie that the only “genuine”, “authentic” thing has to be done in the context of the “homeland” or that the necessary cultural context to appreciate them can only be achieved in a certain location.

When visiting the rainforest in Costa Rica, they took us into a butterfly house. The butterfly house in Hershey is just as lovely and just as amazing. Unless you are a butterfly expert, you aren’t going to notice that the ones in Hershey, PA are a mix of various tropical butterflies vs. the 100% butterflies exclusively from Costa Rica and frankly, does it matter? Don’t let your friend who is a butterfly expert ruin it for you by telling you how this species would just never be seen in the wild with this other species. It was still amazing to see the butterfly house in the rainforest, but I could have skipped the butterfly house and been perfectly fine. I did go on a small hike through the rainforest after the butterfly house to see a waterfall. For me hiking through the rainforest isn’t something that can be re-created in America. For someone else, maybe the fake rainforest at Disney World is good enough.

It is up to you to make the decision about what constitutes as “good enough”. If it met the desired outcome of what you wanted then it is good enough and no one gets to decide what that is other than you. You are a unique individual with unique reasons for wanting to have an item on your list. What might be good enough for you isn’t good enough for someone else, but they don’t get to dictate that to you and you don’t get to dictate that to them.

I have had a tea ceremony at the Japanese Gardens and also in the crowded, noisy basement of a church during a tea festival. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the second more because it was a more intimate affair. It speaks to her skill as a hostess that I do not really remember the crowd or the noise, only the calm and meditative nature of the ceremony. She created a space of serenity among chaos. The noise seemed to melt away as we conversed and made light conversation. I can still taste the tea on my tongue even now. Given that if I did go to Japan and schedule a tea ceremony to achieve the same level of intimacy I would have to pay a fairly high premium. For me, that is good enough and if/when I go to Japan a tea ceremony isn’t something that is going to be on my must do list. That isn’t to say I wouldn’t do one, just it’s not on my list of musts and can be sacrificed to allow me to do something else.

In fact after meeting so many “good enough”s you may find that certain places begin to lose their appeal. For example, I have been to so many museums with egyptian artifacts that honestly, Egypt isn’t that high on my list of places to go. I would rather see the Mayan pyramids to see pyramids. When I was younger, I had a much stronger desire to see Egypt because what I really wanted to see was the artifacts. However, despite checking off so many things on my Japan list, I still want to go to Japan. For some places, my good enoughs have only enhanced my desire to go whereas for others the desire has decreased.

Dancing with Wolves

Published on July 13, 2024June 15, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

We humans seem to have a love-hate relationship with wolves. In fairy tales and folklore, wolves are often seen as evil. It was after all the big, bad wolf that ate Little Red Riding Hood and blew down the houses of the three little pigs. Two wolves will herald the apocalypse in Norse Mythology. They were hunted to almost extinction because of their “threat” to farmers and people. Up until more recent times when every supernatural being got a sexy makeover, werewolves were considered hideous monsters.

Yet, we know that man’s best friend came from a wolf or shared a common ancestor to the wolf. There are also folktales and myths of good wolves. The founders of Rome were raised by a she-wolf. In Egypt, it was a wolf that separated the heavens and the earth and protected the pharaoh and his army. The Wolf-Kamey of Japan protects people from disease and other disasters. Wolves are totem animals, spirit guides and more.

Though to be honest many of the apex predators enjoy a similar treatment, bears, tigers, lions and crocodiles to name a few. Most of these are both revered and feared subjected to various treatments depending on the prevailing thought of the day. Unfortunately, for many of these creatures the previous thought was destruction and in some areas continues to be. Wolves have spent many years on the endangered species list with many of them disappearing from areas they had previously reigned for thousands of years occupying only 10% of their previous range. Their return to places like Yellowstone were hailed across the nation as a huge win for conservation efforts. Their return actually demonstrated how critical they are to other species as their arrival helped support plant life, birds, and other mammals. There is no substitute for an ecosystem’s apex predator.

One of the larger packs at the sanctuary

With education public support has slowly grown over the years for wolves and with that support people’s love of them. Unfortunately, this has led to some negative consequences for some individual wolves. For some insane, unbeknownst reason, people think that they should keep wolves as pets. They also think that for things like tigers, but I digress. Wild animals are wild animals and are not like your dog. Sadly, this means that they are often mishandled and ill treated. However, because of their intense interaction with humans this also means they are unsuitable to return to the wild.

This is where the PA Wolf Sanctuary comes in. For over 40 years, they have provided a home for wolves and wolf-dog hybrids where these beautiful creatures can live out their days in an environment suited to their needs with people who understand and can properly care for them. In order to support the care of their over 50 wolves, they offer educational tours where you can get close to the wolves, hear their stories and learn about these amazing animals.

I first visited the sanctuary in college with my now ex-boyfriend. The tour was a small intimate affair of only a handful of people. This allowed us to linger near the wolves and really take them in. It’s hard to describe these majestic creatures in words. They are clearly very intelligent and inquisitive. They watch you with a certain intensity with eyes ranging in color from golden yellow to deep amber. The pack moves together with grace and purpose. You find yourself holding your breath as you take them in and then, the spell is broken and they remind you that they can be big, lovable goofs.

My sister and I embarking on an early November excursion to see the wolves in their glory!

Your face cracks into a smile and then a delighted laugh at their antics as they play with one another. You watch them splay out their front paws, their faces low to the ground in the universal “play bow”, much like your own dog at home. They wrestle and chase one another with the elders nearby to supervise.

The juxtaposition of their graceful, majestic selves and clown hints at their complex personalities and individuality. They become more than just a “wolf” they become Freya, Odin, Scandal, Kodie and Rumor. You fall in love with them as you hear their stories and you connect with them through the fence. Spending time with them is truly an honor and you leave even more committed to their preservation because it’s not just about fighting to save the “wolves” but wolves like Violet, Fenrir and Vivian Laurel of the Serenity Pack. They are truly ambassadors of their species.

I had the pleasure of visiting again years later with my sister during one of their full moon fundraisers. What I hadn’t expected was the sheer explosion of popularity in the interim of my first full moon tour and my much more recent tour. What had been a small affair of perhaps a dozen people had exploded to be hundreds. The place was absolutely packed with people and cars. I was understandably a little disappointed by the large crowd. When one is expecting a quiet evening, it can be a bit shocking.

However, it is important to adjust one’s expectations when confronted with reality and not allow such things to ruin your fun. There are times when the unexpected can truly make an experience extraordinary. This was not the case this time, but we got to see the wolves at a time of day when they are most active. In being mindful to be flexible and maneuverable with regards to our expectations, we were still able to have a wonderful evening.

Some of them came really close to visit us, you could almost forget they’re wild animals

How can you visit wolves?

There are not many dedicated wolf only sanctuaries throughout the country, but there are plenty of zoos and other wildlife encounters that feature them. The biggest drawback to this option will of course be the lack of dedicated guides for the wolves that you see and of course seeing fewer of them. However, you can still get up close to these beautiful animals and learn about their species. Check the calendar to see if there are any dedicated programs for wolves specifically at your local zoo or other wildlife encounters. As with any activity involving animals, it is important to do research into the entity beforehand to ensure you aren’t unintentionally contributing to animal abuse. The Wolf Sanctuary is a well respected institution and known for its extraordinary care of the wolves.

Completed: 2007

Miles from home: 8.2

Cost: Guided tour $25/Private tour $45

Some suggestions for Wolf Sanctuaries throughout the United States:

Apex Protection Project in California

Wolf Mountain Sanctuary California

Seacrest Wolf Preserve Florida

Wolf Creek Habitat Indiana

Predators of the Heart Washington

Howling Acres Wolf Spirit Arkansas

W.O.L.F. Sanctuary Colorado

Run With Wolves Maine

Endangered Wolf Center Missouri

Howling Woods Farm New Jersey

My Pack of Wolves Ohio

Saint Frances Wolf Sanctuary Texas