I want to drink deeply from the cup of life. I want to see the wonders of nature. I want to try new things. I want to challenge myself. I want to grow and change and become a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I want to gain new skills. I want to meet interesting people. I want to see art, appreciate beauty, appreciate architecture and see with new eyes. I want to listen to music that is reminiscent of heaven and speaks to my soul. I want to stay up so late I see the sunrise the next morning. I want to dance and sing without regard to what others think. I want to take candid pictures and post them without filtering or editing. I want to take road trips. I want to be spontaneous. I want to run through the forest. I want to chase fog and make flower crowns. I want to visit coffee shops, browse thrift stores for treasures and explore craft fairs. I want to visit museums and archaeological sites. I want to explore places. I want to simply stop and admire the view. I want to make memories and deepen my relationships with people.
I don’t want to spend my life in regret wondering about the chances I never took. I don’t want to spend hours scrolling through on my phone wishing I could have the life I see on social media. I don’t want to waste my time dreaming of things I can’t afford or do or places I can’t afford to travel to. I don’t want to miss out on the things I could be doing because I was too busy wishing for the things that are out of reach. I don’t want to spend all day with my head in the clouds not minding what is right in front of me. I don’t want to listen to the people telling me that what I am isn’t good enough or that my life isn’t there yet. I don’t want to miss the blessings I have demanding the blessings I don’t have yet. I don’t want to live in fear of what people might think or say or do because of being authentic to myself.
My bucket list isn’t just a checklist, it’s a call to action to remind me that I get to create an adventurous life. It helps push me to keep trying new things and to seek out new experiences. I’m always adding things to my list and revising it. I am constantly on the lookout for opportunities and unexplored areas. I may not always be doing things that people would consider “bucket list worthy”, but they’re moments outside my usual routine whether it’s taking a train ride to do a wine tasting or dying a scarf.
It’s also not about chasing the next thing because life is supposed to have the mundane and the routine. There will be dishes and laundry, there will be days at home with tea and books. There will be lazy mornings snuggling with cats. Those are moments to savor as well which is why adopting a cat is on my list. It’s about living. Whether it be the everyday moments or the extraordinary and all the moments in between.
And more than anything, dear reader, I want to live.
It can be quite easy to forget that wherever you live, someone dreams of visiting. Maybe not your particular town or neighborhood, but certainly places nearby. I once worked with a young woman whose dream was to move to South Dakota much to my bewilderment and last time I spoke with her, she was absolutely loving her decision. I used to dream of going to the west to see the Rocky Mountains or the west coast. Others apparently dream of coming to my part of the country to see the Amish.
I remember when I was seeking inspiration for my bucket list and I stumbled across one that included visiting Lancaster County. I knew growing up that I lived in a tourist destination and that people came here, but it wasn’t until I saw it on someone’s bucket list that it truly sunk in that the place I was constantly trying to escape from, other people wanted to come to and it was a big deal to do so.
I started exploring what made Lancaster so unique and special that made it a destination worthy of someone’s list. What I discovered is that it actually is a special place with its own subculture and quirks that make it so charming to outsiders. I began to appreciate what was in front of me, enjoying the rolling farmlands near my house, seeing beauty in the corn and wheat fields, savoring the seasonal changes and stopping to admire the farm animals frolicing in their pens. I learned the ubiquitous fruit stands and farmers markets scattered throughout the county were rare treats elsewhere. It’s home to America’s Coolest Small Town 2016, Lititz, and recently two of America’s best buffets, Shady Maple and Miller’s Smorgasbord.
Is it still Coolest Small Town in America? Maybe, maybe not – but it is pretty awesome.
In addition to all things Amish, we boast a rich art scene with its many art galleries and Lancaster’s School of the Arts. We’re home to the Fulton Theater as well as Sight & Sound and American Music Theater. We still preserve many of the folk arts here which can be found at many shops in the tourist areas. However, if you want a more hands-on experience, there are tons of workshops in the area through PA’s Artisans Guild which helps keep these crafts going.
We have street fairs throughout the fall as well as craft fairs in the spring and late summer. We host farms shows and even have tractor square dancing! Although, don’t ask me about it, I had no idea that was a thing until my early 30s.
The truth is, I am now grateful to be living here whereas before I was always looking to escape to far flung places instead of realizing what I had in my own backyard. It would be easy to dismiss my small town as boring and “uninteresting”, looking to the bigger cities or tropical islands of the caribbean. I can make every day moments bucket list worthy. Instead of being annoyed when I am driving and I come across a farmer helping his flock across the road, I take the time to savor what I’m seeing. It’s actually quite pastoral and idyllic to watch. I get excited when I hear the tell-tale clop of hooves on the road signaling the approach of a horse and buggy. I take time to stop at the stalls along the road rather than continuing to drive on.
Sheep! I love seeing the little lambs in the spring time.
My everyday life is another person’s vacation. Sure it’s easy when you’re on a vacation to enjoy the mundane as extraordinary. On a vacation you aren’t worried about the everyday stresses of life like getting to work on time, picking up the groceries, rushing home to the wife and kids, so lingering at a farmer’s market is a luxury the tourists have that I don’t have. When you’re on vacation, you aren’t quite as pressed for time, you can linger and savor what you’re experiencing. Your worries take a backseat to the present moment. Without the worry of time and everyday responsibilities, it’s easy to mistake a foreign place as better than our own homes. I think that’s why some people will regret moving to a place they loved to vacation in, because the reality of everyday life doesn’t match the rosy picture they had as a tourist. We can apply the opposite approach to our homes, realizing that we can recreate those feelings for ourselves at home with the right approach.
How can you cultivate hometown pride?
The first is to take the message of this post to heart. Somebody wants to come to your area and visit and that someone is willing to pay money, perhaps not an insignificant amount to do it. It’s so easy to miss the life that’s in front of us when we spend our lives looking ahead to the future, to excitement and adventure, scrolling on our phones while life passes us by. Your adventure is right out your front door!
The trick is to stop taking your surroundings for granted, to ground yourself in the moment and be mindful about your sensory experience. Instead of rushing into the farmer’s stand grabbing my groceries and leaving as quickly as possible. I will try and make time to pursue the produce, carefully examine the baked goods and give into temptation with the local honey. Last time, I even purchased a cool meadow mint tea in a glass bottle. For those of you not in the know, Lancaster has a unique meadow mint tea that the Amish make and it is a summer treat for the locals. Rather than drinking it down quickly, I slowly sipped it, letting it dance upon my tongue just like I used to do as a child. Did I still have to return back to my housework and garden? Yes, but for about ten minutes, I let all the stress melt into the background and took in my hometown with an outsider’s eyes.
Completed: Around 2017
Miles from home: 0
Cost: Free
Stables near my home, I pass it almost every week. I finally took the time to pull over an appreciate the sight.
I love fall, the cooler days after the scorching heat of summer, the changing leaves, the cozy sweaters and warm drinks. I love the stormy days and misty mornings. I love the way the world seems to nestle down for the coming winter.
One might wonder at something as mundane as a seasonal change being included on a bucket list. But then, dear reader, if you’ve read my other posts here then you already know my answer. If you have not, the answer is simple, because one ought to embrace the joy of living where one is at. One ought to remember that wherever one is, someone somewhere elsewhere dreams about the very place you find yourself. Think of all the millions of people who never get to experience the wonder of fall! Consider all the people who never get to see the leaves of their trees turn to brillant shades of yellow, orange and red. Throughout the tropical regions of the world, there are people who dream of witnessing the changing seasons, who find the vibrant colors of fall as enchanting as a tropical beach. There are even people in the United States who have never really experienced all four seasons as we do in the northern parts.
When was the last time you joyfully walked through them, crunching gleefully as you marched through them? Perhaps, you were a young child and no longer given over to such frivolous and silly things. I implore you dear reader, abandon your adult self with all its imposed rules of oughts and shoulds. Indeed embrace the fall with a child-like enthusiasm and wonder. See the season with the eyes of someone who has never seen this particular form of natural magic.
It was with this sort of attitude, that on my birthday I embarked to a nearby nature preserve to drink in the pleasure of the late fall. Trees typically peak about a week or two before my birthday meaning that there are often more leaves on the ground than in the trees and the forest isn’t quite as majestically dressed. The air is also usually a bit chillier requiring extra layers. That day I donned a hat, a warm caplet and fingerless gloves which would keep my fingers free for the task at hand.
I took a few moments to simply breathe in the crisp morning air savoring the flavor of the forest on the cusp of winter before venturing forth onto the path. I listened carefully to the sounds of the woods around me, the water gurgling in a nearby stream and the way the leaves rustled underfoot. I then drank in full the sights of the forest enjoying the brilliant color of the trees in their glory. With a child’s enthusiasm, I trounced through the woods at times kicking up the leaves, at other times standing quietly to simply enjoy the sights, smells and sounds. There were few others out on the trail that morning, but mostly I was alone with the forest.
I could not say just how long I was out there, but I walked quite a ways basking in nature’s glory before making the determination to go back. It was one the way back that I indulged in another child’s game, collecting leaves of various colors and forms. I made a bit of a game with it, sometimes exchanging a leaf that I had already picked up for one on the ground to make sure I did not become over burdened with them. With my collection well in hand, I headed back to my car quite content with my birthday treat to myself, a quiet morning fully immersed in the glory of autumn. It was something so incredibly simple, yet I enjoyed as much as an afternoon at a spa. I try to spend at least one day in the fall to really appreciate the season as if I were one of those tourists who traveled hundreds of miles on a carefully planned trip just to see the leaves. I am frequently amazed by the beauty that my home brings each year.
How to experience the beauty of fall?
If you live in the northern climes, I recommend tracking the peaking of the leaves in your local area and then planning a morning or afternoon out around that time to really enjoy the outdoors. Keep in mind that fall can be a rainy time of year, so being flexible is key. Luckily, it costs almost nothing to get out to the woods and go on a hike.
There are many other ways to enjoy fall like visiting a pumpkin patch, corn mazes, apple picking and more, but this activity is all about the leaves. You could go a step further and use the leaves for art projects. I used mine just as table decorations for a few days.
If you don’t live in a place where there is a dramatic shift of the seasons, embrace the cycles of the year wherever you may be. The subtler nature of the changes can be just as rewarding as the dramatic shift. Perhaps, there are certain flowers in bloom in the traditional autumn season that you can stop and appreciate. Appreciate the migration of birds who have come down to your warmer home to escape the coming cold of winter. Paying attention and celebrating nature throughout the year is a rewarding experience. We so often neglect the world around us as uninteresting and miss the magic that is occurring all around us instead looking to other people’s backyards for wonder and inspiration. Find the wonder in your natural environment.
Growing up, there was a cross stitch that hung on the wall of our house. On it was an except from “A Song for the Seventh Child” and it ended with the following line “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘till tomorrow, for children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow, so quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby ‘cause babies don’t keep.”
One might wonder why such a thing stayed with me all these years, not yet having children. However, I have almost always had a beloved cat or dog and they grow old as I’ve learned to my own sorrow. There are moments when the dishes sit undone because a cat is snuggling on my lap. In fact, when my sister lived with us there was an established rule that if a cat decided to sit on you, the other sister did the dishes. It might seem like a strange thing but both of us agreed that it was more important to spend the time giving love and attention to a creature who would only be with us a short time than to fuss over whose turn it was to wash dishes. What was more important?
If I can apply that to pets, how much more to people? Almost no one gets to the end of their lives thinking they should have worked more or spent more time at the office. So often the refrain is “I should have spent more time with my family and friends. I should have made time for my children when they needed me. I should have snuggled my puppy just a little while longer.” Nor do we know how much time we really have with anyone.
My sister hugging me at graduation; she made sure to be there for me.
I have been surprised by the number of classmates already lost to accidents and diseases even though I’m not yet 40. The expectation is that you won’t hear of loss so young and that you won’t face the news of their passing until you’re well into your 70’s or 80’s. Car accidents happen, cancer happens, life happens. I’ve shared my mother had a stroke at 46 and clots in both her lungs in her late 50’s. These are precious moments you won’t get back so choose how you spend them wisely!
Furthermore, it is important to make sure we are cultivating relationships with our loved ones. There are plenty of stories to illustrate that when you do not prioritize your loved ones, your loved ones will find people who do. You may find yourself having built a beautiful life of loneliness without those you care about. How empty it must be to work so hard and sacrifice so much only to have accidentally sacrificed the thing you were working so hard to provide for? In the pursuit of a goal, you may lose contact with friends and family, over time they may simply conclude that you do not care about them, unless you make the time to be there. Be careful about what you give up when chasing a dream even if the dream is for a good reason.
There are times when I do consider pursuing higher things, pushing myself further, adding yet another hobby or taking on yet another responsibility. But then I consider what I would give up. The time I would miss out on spending with my friends, my family and yes, my cats. When such thoughts tempt me, I make a nice cup of tea, lay on my bed to have my cats nestle next to me and settle in for an afternoon of reading and snuggles. I have yet to regret a day spent with cats or those I love dearly.
It is no secret that I am a whimsical sort of person. I see magic in butterflies and can easily imagine that among them may be hiding a fairy. I can easily pretend that lurking in the woods is a dragon hoarding its treasure or an enchanted prince who needs only a maiden’s kiss to set him free. It is not that I am divorced from reality, far from it. I assure you, dear reader, I have both feet firmly planted on the ground. I am a pragmatic, practical person who understands well the constraints of life and the sorry lack of unicorns. However, I am also a person who chooses to live slightly off the beaten path to court the possibility of magic still with a childlike enthusiasm for the world.
So naturally, a trip to the Renaissance Faire is the salve that those with the same sort of spirit as myself so desperately need. Let me be perfectly clear, the Renaissance Faire is not a place of historical accuracy. It is much more akin to a Renaissance Fantasy Convention with a pretty sweet setting than a historical re-enactment. So if you’re looking for that sort of thing, I suggest googling medieval reenactments and steer very clear of any Ren Faire lest you be sorely disappointed. They are however a very whimsical place for us very whimsical souls.
The Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire is considered by many to be one of the best ones in the country. Each year between mid-August and the end of October, Mount Hope Estate opens the door to an alternative 16th century England and invites the public to an interactive fantasy play of sorts. Throughout the day if one follows the going ons of the royal family and its court, a story will unfold. It may be an internal plot to force marriage to Queen Elizabeth or an external threat by the Spanish to conquer England. Occasionally, the story focuses on King Henry rather than his daughter Elizabeth, just to keep things spicy. It always culminates in a joust to settle the score and determine the outcome. Spoiler – England and its crown always win, but the end isn’t the fun part.
What’s fun is all the stops in between like the Human Chess tournament – which is arguably much more fun than chess because the pieces actually have to fight each other for control of the spot. You also can follow the actors and see their improv skills put to use. It is not that they merely stand on a stage and you watch, they will stop and speak with you. They will have you join the story and even if you go off script their expertise keeps the play going. There are also dozens of actors wandering the grounds to keep the story alive. They may stop and stare at your phone curious at such a magical device in such a curious traveler’s hands. What on earth are you wearing sir? My goodness, young lady, do you realize your knees are showing? A good sport will join in the fun.
You are encouraged to dress up and different weeks will have different themes. Rather than fight against the crowds of nerds dressing up in various outfits which some people argue don’t belong at Ren Faire, they embraced it by giving the different fandoms their own weekend outlets. Sci. Fi. fans have time traveler’s weekend which welcomes Star Fleet, Whovians and more. Die hard fantasy nerds have Wizarding Weekend. Us whimsical folks have Fairies and Fantasies. There’s also pirates, vikings, heroes, Irish/Scottish and October is devoted to all things spooky.
There’s also over a hundred different vendors and merchants selling all sorts of wares, many of them unique to Ren Faires. Though I will admit with the advent of the internet it has gotten a little easier to access similar items than when I was growing up, which makes them seem a little less special than I remember them being.
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I know I sound impossibly old with my references of the world before the internet was a big thing. We also didn’t have electricity or running water. We made fire by rubbing two sticks together. We used to have to run down big game in order to survive until we discovered farming! I myself invented the wheel, it was a really big hit.
I digress. In addition to the wares, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the food. Of course there are the infamous turkey legs which I do recommend if you have not yet tried one. Throughout the faire your mouth will be almost constantly watering with the aroma of both savory and sweet treats to tempt you. On the scorching August days, you will want to try various cold beverages and being next to a winery, they have some of the very best vintages. Though I will remind you, gentle reader, that wine is not known for its hydrating properties and you should be certain to drink plenty of water when wandering about the faire. Besides, too much will be bad for your wallet when you impulse buy that hand forged sword and moving dragon puppet. Although, you will have a sword and a dragon, so I’m not sure what the downside to this situation is.
There are of course plenty of activities that abound throughout the faire. Face painting, palm reading, ax throwing, a maze, mock fencing, even rides powered by strong men and physics. If nothing else, admire the view ladies. Occasionally there’s a horse dressed up as a unicorn to pet. There’s even retired greyhounds who are there to raise money for their rescue and get petted. Who doesn’t enjoy petting a dog? If you’d like to get more dressed up, there’s face painting and even hair braiding.
And while I have spoken about the wares, the food, the beverages and activities, what I like most about the faire is the various shows and demonstrations scattered throughout. They have glassblowing, blacksmithing and even instrument demonstrations. It was at the Ren Faire that I learned all about the Hurdy Gurdy and was introduced to one of my favorite musical artists because of it. They often have falconry and other sports like jousting. These are the places where you will get a more authentic Renaissance experience as most of these are intended to be educational. As many of the demonstrations tend to be less attended than the larger shows, I often get to have one on one conversations with the experts of their craft. There’s nothing quite like being able to ask questions and get well throughout, nuanced answers that chat gpt just can’t replicate.
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There are other sorts of shows, usually either musical or comedic in nature, often a combination of both, as those always do well in larger crowds. One should be warned if bringing your children that many of the shows are for adult audiences so the jokes will reference adult topics. Usually those shows are marked with a small asterisk on your map and program. When I was a teenager and young adult, I found them amusing. As a middle aged woman, I’m not as into the bawdy humor as I was. Maybe I’m just an old stick in the mud, but that’s okay, if you like that kind of humor attend those shows, enjoy them, I’m not trying to shut them down. Why would I stop other people from having fun? You can find me petting the unicorn. I don’t care if the unicorn is meant for the five year olds, I want to pet the cute animal!
A day at the faire is a day for fantasy and fun. It can be whatever you make of it. If you’re a shopper, go shopping. If you want to only watch the shows, there are shows throughout the faire every hour and half hour. Some people religiously follow the story and so attend the human chess match, the jousts and follow the court around all day. Some people just come for the food and eat. You may want to spend all day getting a quality education about Renaissance and Medieval Europe and go to the demonstrations. Or you’re like me and go wherever the fancy strikes you.
Having grown up going to the Ren Faire for most of my childhood I’ve gotten to do just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do. I don’t go every year, but I do go every few years. It is always fun to see what they’ve changed or how they’ve expanded. It’s like coming back to an old and familiar friend. I could probably find my way around half blindfolded. I know most of the songs the performers belt out and am even friends with the owner of a very good kilt shop. Some of my best summer memories are of the Faire and is decidedly one of those bucket list items that are worth repeating! Especially since the faire may have lots of things to check off your list.
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How can you add some whimsy in your life and get to a faire?
Almost every state has a Renaissance Faire and some even have more than one. Depending on where you live they may take place at different times of the year. Many faires take place in the late summer/early fall in the North East but not every faire does. I believe most faires in the North and North East take place in the summer through fall because of weather, but I think in the southern parts I saw many of them being advertised for the spring months. Probably because their weather would make it impossible to wear things like a knight’s armor without dying.
I strongly encourage you to dress up a little bit and have some fun your first time. Make sure you’ve set aside plenty of money to buy some of the cool things you’re bound to find. Many Ren Faires run both Saturdays and Sundays with a discount for a weekend pass. You will most likely be overwhelmed with the possibilities that abound, so make Saturday a day for shows and following the storyline and Sunday can be the day you return for shopping.
If you make it to the PA Ren Faire, then you should definitely stop by their winery right next door and do a wine tasting. They have many unique blends and flavors. Not only do they offer wine, but also meads. My personal recommendations are the blackberry merlot and the Traveler’s Mead, a butterfly pea blossom mead. However, you do you, that’s what tasting is for after all.
Completed: Childhood & throughout adulthood
Miles from home: 11
Cost: $33 for person (local’s tip Turkey Hill often has discount coupons for certain weekends buy one get one free, to make it even cheaper)
Full disclosure: You will probably spend a lot of money at the faire if you’re not careful between the food and the merchandise so budget closer to $100 if you’ve never been before.
I absolutely love this truth. For some, dear reader, this may seem a bit scary even mean. However, consider this from another angle, if you are not responsible for your own happiness who is? The answer of course is other people. Other people whom you cannot control and who may not have your own interests and needs in mind, let alone your happiness. And if they’re responsible for your happiness, does that make you responsible for theirs? Does that mean that you are expected to sacrifice yourself to their whims and desires in order to make them happy? How can you possibly be expected to know what will make them happy?
We humans are such fickle creatures and are almost never really satisfied. How can we all collectively be responsible for other people’s happiness and never our own? This constant cycle of pleasing people without thought to our own happiness can only leave us all miserable and unhappy. How freeing is it to say that “I am responsible for my happiness and you are responsible for yours”?
It is a reclamation of our own autonomy and choice. It frees us of the shackles of other people’s actions and reliance on them to do the “right thing” and allows us to fully stand in our own power. There are countless stories of human resilience, where people in terrible conditions were still able to choose not happiness but deep abiding joy. These are people who fully embraced their own power and would not allow their joy to be robbed by their oppressors or abusers. It was a way to take back what power they could to refuse to allow a prison to be one.
It is not easy to choose joy. It is not easy to be positive in the face of terrible circumstances and sometimes we do need to “sit in the suck”. I’m not an advocate of toxic positivity, because I don’t believe in suppressing negative emotions. I also don’t believe in feeding negative emotions. There is a time and place to process what’s going on, but not to swim in it, ‘till your fingers get all pruny. Acknowledge the “suck”, say it stinks, allow yourself to feel the unfairness, the injustice and general stink of whatever the situation is. Then cultivate your choices and possible responses.
This entire blog is devoted to a positive response of “the suck”. I did not have the time, energy and resources to live out a certain lifestyle. I could have easily gotten stuck in a negative mindset that I would never get to do the things I dreamed about doing. That I would continue to wish my life away and watch the years tick by until I was too old and sick to even enjoy the things even if I finally managed to save up the money to go do them. It would have been easy to shake my fist at a system that prevents so many people from making positive steps forward with stagnant wages, inflation and other social ills and give up. Instead, I looked around at what I could do instead. The answer was, I could do a lot. As it turns out, it allowed me to live out my values better than the original plan.
I did not have to rely on anyone to change the system. I simply went off and started making different choices. I choose to reevaluate my local community and see it in a new light. I choose to find happiness in the little things, seeing even small moments as things worthy of a bucket list. I will most likely write a post at a later date and time about cultivating daily gratitude, because that is what has helped to cultivate my happiness the most. I choose joy and I choose to be responsible for my own happiness. What a wonderful and freeing feeling that has been.
I recently came across a post on facebook that really resonated with me, but perhaps not in the way it was meant.
Five Harsh Truths About Life:
1. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2. The majority of your limits are self-imposed.
3. You can never fully prepare for everything life will throw at you.
4. You will mess up. The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on.
5. Your loved ones will not be around forever.
Although, I don’t know that I would call them harsh, in fact I would say these are freeing truths. In my next five posts, I will be diving into each of these truths to show you how awesome each one is and how these can free you to live your best life.
Much of what is on a bucket list may be considered a bit hedonistic. That is a criticism that some people have against them. To some people, it is a list of “empty pleasures”. Life should be spent bettering the world not chasing short term experiences you just check off a list. There may be some truth to those criticisms, but then again is it much worse than spending my days watching Netflix, scrolling through social media and spending all my money on amazon? The point of the list, for me at least, is to cultivate a sense of adventure, to explore the world, to experience life and learn about myself. It was about getting out of my house, away from the screens and living, to stop dreaming and start doing. It can in some ways be a form of self-expression. As someone whose daily profession is leaving the world a better place, having a bucket list is a form of self care.
However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have goals that are altruistic in nature or have reflected on past actions on my reverse bucket list that fall under the category of “leaving the world a better place”. I’ve had experiences of volunteering and sacrificing part of myself for the benefit of others that have left a positive impact on me. It is part of my own self-expression and I feel it is important to include those experiences as part of a rich life.
One of those altruistic goals was to give blood. As it turns out, I have a O+ blood type which, while it is one of the most common blood types, it is also a good donor blood type. Blood types come in A, B, AB, O and positive or negative so you can have AB+ or B- or in my case O+. The letters A and B indicate common antigens and O indicates the absence of either A or B, positive and negative indicate the presence of a common antigen or the absence of it. If you have the antigens you can receive blood without the antigen but if you don’t have the antigen you can’t receive blood that has it. Therefore, I can receive both O+ and O- but not any A, B or AB blood.
It is hard to describe the importance of blood donations. I am a daughter of two nurses, so I grew up knowing how important blood is for modern medicine. Blood allows doctors to perform miracles, to complete life saving surgeries that would normally kill a patient because of the blood loss, to treat cancer, to stop someone from dying from traumatic injury and treat chronic illnesses. A pint of blood can mean the difference between life and death and it is important to have an ongoing fresh supply.
So when my school held a blood drive in my senior year, I naturally signed up to participate. It was important to me to give back and as it turns out my family’s blood lacks other antigens than the positive. We also have “sticky” blood which makes it great for trauma victims since it helps with clotting. Even though I didn’t enjoy needles, I knew that I was making a difference when I laid down on the chair and presented my arm. It was such a small act of inconvenience for me, missing some class, a brief time of discomfort, but the impact of this life saving gift was more than worth it to me. Why wouldn’t I give up a few hours of my life to save someone else’s?
Being a positive influence in the world doesn’t always need big gestures or major political movements, sometimes something little can have a large impact. Full disclosure, I did faint when I gave blood for the first time. About 4% of people faint. It isn’t an indication of any sort of medical distress but rather a vagal nerve response. Unfortunately, I have had other medical issues over the years causing frequent issues of low iron levels which make it difficult to give blood. I hope to be able to give blood now that the underlying issue causing the frequent bouts of anemia has been addressed.
How can you donate blood?
Only about 3% of people ever donate blood and the demand for blood never ceases. It is a vital resource that cannot be replicated through other means. As they say “when you give, other’s live”. I highly encourage you, dear reader, to consider giving blood. If you cannot give blood, then consider how else you might positively impact the world.
Luckily, giving blood is fairly easy. Just call up your local branch of the American Red Cross to find out when and where they’re having their next blood drive.
In the age of social media, we are constantly being shown a carefully curated montage of other people’s lives whether that be our own friends and family or influencers. The pressure to present this picturesque life is almost constant, while the algorithms feed us a never ending message of inadequacy and insecurity. Not only that but influencers show us a steady stream of items, experiences and getaways that would “cure” all those pesky problems that we face.
I recently heard someone say “you can’t out consume an influencer.” Influencers are often given the items that they show us and can often turn around and sell those items. The items they do have to purchase are tax deductible and considered a business expense. They are paid to consume whereas the rest of us have to use our hard earned money to try and keep up with them. Not only are they getting paid to consume, many of them are making above the median income of $74,000. I certainly don’t make $74000. So yes, you can’t out consume an influencer.
No matter what you do, there will always be someone who makes more than you, is more successful, has a bigger house, goes to more places, does more things, buys more items and is considered “ahead.” Even if you manage to become the “top dog” of your current social group by moving up, you will expand your social group to include other people who are “higher status” than you. One of the reasons why when people move up the social ladder they continue to struggle to make it, is because they are trying to keep up. They get a promotion and make an extra $20,000 a year, but then they buy a better car, move to a better house, pretty soon that 20,000 isn’t going as far as it could have had they stayed where they were. But where they were often wasn’t that comfortable or perhaps, the “Joneses” convinced them that what they had wasn’t good enough.
It’s important to remember these things when considering your bucket list. I shared that I often go on an “adventure” about once a month. Most of the time it’s with my sister on our sister dates. This means that I have to pick and choose what I want to do when because I don’t have lots of time or money to be spending every weekend or most of my evenings out. Sometimes, this means putting an event on the calendar for next year in order to be able to go to a different one. Sometimes it means skipping out on something entirely.
Not every activity needs to be done or event attended. If it’s not for you don’t do it, even if it seems like the popular thing to do. You have limited time and resources so spend them wisely. It may be tempting to try and start to push the schedule to do more than once, maybe twice a month, especially when my feed starts to get filled up with events, activities, people doing things and going places. However, going out all the time means not resting and I have cats at home who have emotional needs that I am obligated to meet as their guardian. Besides, snuggling cats is on my bucket list.
Snuggling my little baby kitten!
Remember saying no to something, allows you to say yes to something else. Saying no to going out each weekend, allowed me to say yes to having pets. Saying no to some more expensive experiences, allowed me to say yes to going on a cruise with my family. Once we free ourselves of trying to keep up appearances and out competing the social media algorithm, we can start making real choices for ourselves that help us create real meaning in our experiences. We have to remember that what we often see is a facade hiding.
How many celebrities have we seen over the years share their struggles with depression, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy? How many stories have we read about the ultra rich with their empty marriages and loveless families? There are certainly celebrities that are quite happy and ultra rich who have wonderful families, but they did not create their fulfilling lives from chasing things and trying to keep up with others. Trying to keep up often fuels the negative feelings about ourselves. Recognize that you are enough, as you are. You are not your job, you are not your income, you are not less than because you have less, your value is not predicated on the things you have.
Having a bucket list has many benefits, but it should not be used to compare yourself to others or as a measuring stick of your self-worth. It isn’t about keeping up with the Joneses, it’s about living your best life right where you are.
There are many reasons to learn a language and this is something I often see on people’s bucket list. However, unlike many of the bucket list items where it is easily checked off in an afternoon, this one takes time and dedication to achieve. I know there are many different ideas around what it means to learn a language. For some people unless you are able to carry out a completely fluent conversation, you did not learn a language. For others, they may say that being able to order food at a restaurant and make their most basic needs known is being fluent. There is an international standard for language learning which goes from A1 to C2 with most countries enforcing a B1 limit on new citizens. Hence the phrase “B1 and done”. It is also nebulous in that it is a skill that needs maintenance.
I double majored in both psychology and German, but I used my psychology degree and not my German degree. I probably would have tested at a B1 or B2 at the time of my graduation, but I would currently test at an A2 level. When I first started reviewing German after a nearly ten year hiatus, I probably would have been at an A1, which demonstrates that if you don’t use it, you lose it. In the ten plus years between graduation and now, I had not used my German at all, which begs the question if in almost ten years I didn’t need it and even now don’t need it, why bother at all?
There are many reasons to learn a language that people quote, the most common, are probably B.S. for most people. How often do we encounter people from other places to establish cross-cultural friends, see a job that requires it or travel? Being a native English speaker I am blessed to know one of the most commonly spoken languages in the world, as such I have not had the difficulty of making cross-cultural friends. Over the years, I have connected with many individuals from Asia, China, South America, Africa and even the Caribbean. I’m on servers with people from all over the globe and we all speak English.
Visiting Berlin during my semester abroad
Now some people will argue that by refusing to be monolingual and expecting the world to accommodate you, that people will find that interesting or commendable. I have had mixed reviews from non-English speakers. I have been berated for not learning their language. Surprisingly enough, I was in Germany for my semester abroad and the Spaniard in the class was telling me that I insulted him by not choosing to learn Spanish. I have also been told by Germans that I shouldn’t bother to learn German and my attempts to do so were offensive and basically unless I was already fluent not to bother them. These were not the most encouraging interactions in my language learning process. I have had other very positive experiences from people when I’ve worked to learn their language, just don’t expect the process to always yield positive results.
As for jobs, unless you are in a particular sector of the economy that will be sending people abroad or working with a particular population in the human services, chances are you will not be needing anything other than English. Travel, as I have noted on this blog before, is something that we don’t really engage with more than a week (if we’re lucky) each year.
To be honest, everyone is going to come to this with their own reasons. They may be doing it for their job, for travel, to expand their mind – increase memory, creativity, attention span, and logical thinking – to get outside their own culture, to better understand languages as a whole, to improve their own native language skills, and for just plain fun. There are people who learn “fake” languages or Conlangs such as Klingon, Na’vi and Dothraki. The desire comes from wanting to fully immerse themselves in a fictionalized world and to connect with others, who like them, are obsessed with the fandom. Some people know every single fact about Taylor Swift’s life; others can hold conversations in High Valyrian. To each their own fandom!
For my own part, I have wanted to learn another language ever since I was young. I felt it was another way to explore the world. To me culture and language were linked and to truly understand a place, I needed to speak the language of that place. I loved learning about other cultures and in particular Irish and German topped my list because that’s what my family is, a mixture of Scots-Irish and German. Our area is predominately of German descent and has many German cultural influences thanks to the strong Amish and Mennonite community here. It’s quite common for us to use German phrases in English such as “it’s all” in order to say “it’s all gone” or “throw me down a pair a socks” which harkens back to the use of German reflective verbs. These are things that are unique to our area not usually found in other places of the English speaking world.
Marburg Castle, Germany
I originally tried French because of my desire to go into music and my mother really pushed for me to do French. Honestly, as a dyslexic, French is terrible. The spelling is an incomprehensible mess and I have no words. German on the other hand is actually pretty easy to spell as it is fairly consistent and logical. So in 9th grade, I made the switch to German and I’ve never looked back. Although, I am interested in learning French so long as I don’t ever have to spell anything in it.
It hasn’t always been fun. This isn’t an afternoon jaunt, this is a long slough of cognitive challenges and mind bending grammar, oblique turns of phrases and baffling cultural norms. People who gush about learning language as “fun” and “interesting” have obviously not had to spend hours trying to comprehend the ridiculousness of irregular verbs or trying to master der, die and das. A car could be der wagon or das auto, it’s a car, it should be the same gender but it’s not! There are legitimate historical reasons for this quirk, but I digress. Yet, it was always worth it to me.
Berlin Wall
Does it help me connect with others? I don’t know that it has. I haven’t found it necessary to know anything other than English, because it is one of the most common secondary languages. Some people will claim that learning a language, especially as a native English speaker when you don’t have to, makes you more interesting.
I have had mixed reviews from non-English speakers. I have been berated for not learning their language. Surprisingly enough, I was in Germany for my semester abroad and the Spaniard in the class was telling me that I insulted him by not choosing to learn Spanish and that it was clearly the superior language. I wanted to tell him that I should be commended for learning anything at all when the whole world is geared towards me not learning. I have also been told by Germans that I shouldn’t bother to learn German and my attempts to do so were offensive. Basically unless I was already fluent, I had no right to speak to them, which was baffling because how was I supposed to become fluent if I didn’t try speaking with native speakers? These were not the most encouraging interactions in my language learning process. I have had other very positive experiences from people when I’ve worked to learn their language, just don’t expect the process to always yield positive results.
However, it has been an incredibly rewarding journey to learn German and later on, Spanish. It did afford me a semester abroad which greatly expanded my horizons in the world. It has allowed me to make connections with people in my own travels that I would not otherwise be able to make. Twice, I have ended up befriending, even for an afternoon, small groups of German tourists who were delighted that I knew German. I have seen it build up connections between myself and my clients when I have spoken to them in Spanish and Haitian Creole. It hasn’t always been easy to master the languages. It has been confusing and frustrating especially when I know that I used to be able to communicate at a much higher level, but sadly time has eroded the skill.
Stefi, the adorable German woman I met while visiting Boston
I also developed a greater appreciation for those who are coming to America who don’t know the language, the challenges they face when trying to navigate our systems and the requirements on them to know how to communicate. I understand the history of Germany from their perspective and how that history unfolded. It’s given me a deeper understanding of our own history as told from an outside perspective. In the simplest terms, learning a language has expanded my horizons in ways I didn’t know it would do. Oftentimes we travel to immerse ourselves in a place, but without the language, we only dip our toe in the waters, when we learn a language we can immerse ourselves deeply without ever having to leave the couch. When we do finally arrive at a place, it’s almost like being at the house of an old friend. It’s familiar and it just “fits”. For me, staying in Germany for five months was very much like staying at a friend’s house that I’ve visited many times before. It wasn’t home, but it very much could be.
How can you learn a language?
Most of you aren’t going to be able to go to school and just join a class and college classes are extremely expensive and probably more time than you have. There are many books, computer programs and apps out there to use. I’ve used Duolingo myself and found it to be decent for reviewing my German, but not as good for learning my Spanish. The app designer himself said that he was more interested in “gamifying” language learning than being the most effective way to learn. His justification was that any learning is better than no learning and the best way to keep you learning was to focus on making it an addictive game you wanted to keep playing. There are lots of other apps available and don’t just pick the most popular because it might not be what you’re looking for. I haven’t really found other methods like books, flashcards or listening to be all that effective for me, but everyone is different, what works for me may be terrible for you. The great thing about today’s world is that it has never been easier to get access to information and tools for learning and most of it is fairly accessible. Rosetta Stone is famously good, but also famously expensive. Myself and my mom are both on the same family plan for duolingo at about $10 per month.
Budget Bliss: Bucket List 