BudgetBliss

Visiting History: Gettysburg Battlefield

Published on December 6, 2024December 7, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

The battle of Gettysburg was one of the defining moments of American history. The Union’s victory over the Confederate army was the turning point in the Civil War, leading to the restoration of the union and ensuring the end of slavery. The battle took place over the course of three days from July 1st to July 3rd, almost coinciding with our nation’s 86th birthday. It was also one of the bloodiest most devastating battles in our history.

Visiting the site of this place can be a bit surreal. Today, the fields lay semi-empty. The dead have been given proper burial. The gunfire has long since ceased and it only returns for reenactments and salutes to honor the fallen. To the educated eye one can still see the evidence of the battle and how the lay of the land was shaped by it and helped to shape the battle itself. For example, one can still see clearly how the Union’s superior position of the high ground helped them win despite having less troops.

It is now home to many monuments to the fallen from all over the states. Naturally, the Pennsylvania monument is absolutely massive, but others are smaller. Some are dedicated to large groups, but then there are more specific battalions and legions remembered. It is easy to forget that each of the men who perished on the field had a name, a story and purpose to be there. It is not easy to take up arms against one’s own countrymen.

In the surrounding town, they offer various walking tours highlighting moments of history. They talk about the miracle that only one civilian died in the fighting, they point out bullet holes. What is really striking though is the sheer amount of death the residents saw, the description of pools of blood from the surgeries and piles of limbs that had been hacked off to try to save lives. They describe the stench that lingered for weeks in the hot summer. They whisper of ghosts still lingering on over a century later. If one believes in such things.

Still in among the ghost stories, there is real history being remembered. There was a high cost to pay to preserve our country more than the cost to form it originally. It answered the question of whether we truly were a nation of freedom for all or only for some. A question that will need to be periodically asked and answered as we continue to navigate conflicting rights and values. It is a place that when visited demands at least some reflection of the cost that had to be paid for today’s America.

Despite growing up relatively close to it, I had not really visited the battlefield until I was an adult. The annual classroom field trip that year had been replaced with a trip to Philadelphia to see the visiting display of the Russian Tsars. When my family did finally visit, I was a teenager and the thought of tramping about a field in the heat of summer with my father was unappealing, and I opted to go elsewhere with my mom and let my brother and father walk about the fields. So in the fall of 2018, I finally went with my boyfriend to see where it all happened, put history in perspective and learn more about this monumental event in our nation’s history.

I can’t say that I necessarily learned anything new about the battle that I hadn’t already heard in the classroom or seen in documentaries, but what I did know was brought to life by seeing the physical artifacts from the battle and hearing the intimate stories of the people who were there both solider and civilian on both sides of the war. There’s something to be said about seeing and interacting with physical objects that allows our minds to form a more emotional connection with the knowledge or at least enhance our knowledge through other senses.

It is always strange to visit the site where tragedy took place and one must acknowledge the Civil War was tragic. It was tragic for a nation to be ripped apart and that the effects of that can still be seen over a hundred years later. It is also tragic it took a civil war to confer the basic human right of freedom from slavery to all living under our nation’s flag. On one hand, it is a place of history that should be remembered and respected, a place where people died to give other people freedom. On the other hand, it’s a site of enjoyment and relaxation. People come to visit on their vacations and for a day off of school. They enact the battle for entertainment, as well as to keep the stories alive. Children run through the fields laughing and playing around the cannons. Tourists take goofy pictures in front of memorials. For me the juxtaposition of both is important, because in some ways it means healing has taken place and is a testament to the resilience of people and our nation.

How can you add this to your own bucket list?

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that cannot be substituted easily if going to the actual Battlefield of Gettysburg is on your list. It’s in PA and unless you’re nearby, it won’t be cheap or easy to get here. In which case, may I recommend google flight tracker and hotels.com? This may be an instance of the principle of the item rather than the item itself. The principle behind visiting Gettysburg was to see an important site of our nation’s history that helped shape our identity and defined us. If you live in the south, there are many other Civil War battlefields that you can visit. If you live in the North East, especially in New England, then you can visit many sites from the Revolutionary War. In the South West, you have the Mexican-American War. California was home to the gold rush as well as the Japanese Internment Camps and the Watts-Riots. The Midwest is of course home to the west itself and the expansion of white settlers into the territories. I highly recommend seeing what is near your hometown. You may be surprised to find your seemingly insignificant part of the country actually helped shape us in the amazing country that it is today.

Completed: 2018

Miles from home: 75

Cost: Free to visit the Battlefield, Visitor’s Center. Museum is $15, Museum+ Film is $21

Living Out Your Values

Published on December 3, 2024November 9, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Our values are often reflected in what we do much more than what we say. The things we strive for and goals we want to achieve demonstrate what we actually believe. There’s a saying that goes “shut up and put your money where your mouth is” which is short is stop talking and actually sacrifice for what you believe in. Shouldn’t we consider this when looking to complete our bucket lists?

If the point of a budget bucket list is to help create a meaningful life where we’re at, then a meaningful life reflects our values, morals and ethics. I want to have a life that is well lived. One that aligns with who I am as a person and to be able to look back at all the things I have seen, done and accomplished and feel at peace. I don’t want to have regrets for things left undone, but also for things that I did that left me feeling empty or guilty.

When considering what I want to accomplish in my life, it’s not just about what might be fun to do, but also what I value. I took pride in my German and Irish roots, especially living in a German-American area like Lancaster, County. So, I learned German and studied abroad in Germany. I made certain to spend a little time in Ireland when I was over there. When learning the violin, I studied folk Irish songs. I took Irish step dancing in college. I said I valued those items and backed it up with actions. Those things were more than just learning a language or a dance style plucked at random, they reflected what was important to me.

Your values can inspire you to add things to your list. Do you value your heritage? Then maybe explore activities that connect you to your family’s past. Maybe you value being self-sufficient, then taking workshops to learn crafts such as woodworking and carpentry may be your jam, more than say spending a week in Bora Bora. Most of what I started with were the things that reflected what was important to me, nature, art, music, travel to specific places that held special meaning to me. Some of the things I’ve done have been in support of what was important to the people I do them with.

Sometimes, a value will prevent you from doing something. Do you value animals? Those animal encounters may be quite tempting but they are rife with exploitation and abuse of the very animals you claim to love. You cannot say that you value elephants and then go ride them. Even alternatives like bathing still involve a traumatic training known as the “crush” where young calves are separated from their mothers, isolated, deprived of food and water and beaten until they are broken. Elephant tourism is driving those numbers up. In almost every case, an interaction with an elephant means interaction with a traumatized elephant for your benefit. Not every animal encounter is a result of abuse, but it is important to be careful with them because abuse is so rampant, especially in underdeveloped countries.

I carefully researched this dolphin led encounter before booking and even consulted a friend who works at a zoo to help me ensure I was participating in an ethical encounter.

You will need to pick and choose your battles. There is almost no undertaking that does not involve murky ethical decisions in our modern world. Buying a cell phone? How were the minerals mined in Africa? How were the workers treated, who assembled it in China or Taiwan? Is the money that is going to the company being used to fund policies and politics that you disagree with? What about the environmental impact? That’s just a cell phone, what about attending a concert? Traveling to a festival?

When considering my budget bucket list, I started with my values first, understanding what I stood for and where the lines would be drawn. I was careful to do my research and pick my battles. I encourage you to also start with the things you value before writing down everything that comes to mind or taken from someone else’s list.

When you start out with guardrails, it’s easier to say no. Whether we intend to or not, when we see something “cool” that we want to do, we start to form an emotional attachment through our excitement. It can be hard to reel that back in. I don’t shop at places like Shein and Temu, but I see advertisements for them all the time. It makes it easier for me to not get tempted by the cute clothing or gatchet that I really want to have when I have set the boundary of “I will not buy from these places.” I said I will not exploit animals, and it made it easy to say no to interacting with baby tigers, even in the face of their cute adorable faces. Before I could even picture holding those sweet babies and petting their soft fur, the firm “no” stopped all thoughts of the activity. Whereas if I had written my list, saw the opportunity first, I may have been tempted to try and justify keeping it there or saying to myself “I’m just one person….”

On this blog, I will encourage you to drink richly from the cup of life and to follow my example of finding things in your own backyard to do. However, there are many different places that one can drink from, it’s up to each of us to be mindful of what we’re taking out of life and whether its right for us. It’s not up to me to dictate to you what values, ethics or morals you should have, that’s up to you to decide. I’m only here to remind you to think about them before you take a drink that ends up tasting bitter and gross.

Reverse Bucket List: Unicorn Tapestries

Published on November 29, 2024September 1, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Occasionally, I like to share bucket list items from my reverse bucket list or include tales from further afield. It isn’t to necessarily go off track or to undermine the purpose of my blog, but rather present an open and honest representation of my list, the things I’ve accomplished and how I’ve done them. I would be remiss to only showcase the things that I’ve done close to home as that would be creating a false impression that one really can complete everything without travel. Depending on where you are and what you want to do with your life, some travel may be required. I also don’t want to be held up as some sort of standard of perfection or be accused later on of not practicing what I preach. I’ve watched many influences and internet personalities over the years to see that the truth will come out and I do myself no favors by presenting a false narrative of my life. Who knew honesty was the best policy?

This item is from both my reverse bucket list and from tales further afield. It should come as no surprise dear reader that I love unicorns.

I know – you’re in absolute shock, never in a million years did you see this confession coming! Sarcasm may be a 2nd language for me, followed closely by bad English and then German.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I digress. I love unicorns. My very first stuffed animal from the day I was born was in fact a unicorn. It doubled as a music box that played Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The unicorn’s name is Rainbow and she was my favorite toy. I even took her to Germany with me when I was in college. She still sits on a shelf in my room. Growing up in the 90’s unicorns were difficult to find, but my mother still managed to get me the rare unicorn toy and find me the rare unicorn book. I read every book that had a unicorn in it, including a book which showcased the La Dame a la Licorne or The Lady and the Unicorn.

The Lady and the Unicorn tapestries are a collection of six tapestries housed in Paris France. They were created in the style known as thousand flowers and it is easy to see where it gets its name as the background of the tapestries are woven with hundreds of flowers. The tapestries were woven in Flanders out of wool and silk from designs created about 1500 AD. They were hidden away for potentially centuries in Boussac castle until their discovery in 1841. Interestingly enough they were dated correctly by the novelist George Sand as coming from the 15th century based on the depiction of the ladies’ costumes. Never underestimate a woman’s eye for fashion.

The six tapestries depict five of the senses, touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight. The sixth one is a bit of a mystery as it displays the following motto on the lady’s tent “A Mon Seul Desir” or “my sole desire”, but it has been translated differently by different people leaving us with some ambiguity. I find it rather strange that the tapestries with no words are the ones with the clearest meanings, but the one with words leaves us scratching our heads. Some interpretations believe is a renunciation of the passions, an assertion of her free will; others see it as representing a sixth sense of understanding. This last one is based on sermons from 1420 which lines up with the timeline of the tapestries.

Pardon the darkness of the picture, this was taken in 2009 and flash photography was not permitted

Nevertheless these tapestries are beautiful works of medieval art. They not only depict six scenes, but also they are representative of the interplay between the arts and their patrons at that time period with the banners depicting the heraldry of the nobility who sponsored them. The arts could not have survived without the support of patrons. This interplay was an important part of the social structure of the time. Additionally, it is reflective of the importance of the Christian church as like most art of the time period it carries themes from the Christian faith. One of the reasons I so loved unicorns was they were often a reference to Christ in medieval art. Finally, they demonstrated fashion at the time of their creation. Larger tapestries, like these, were used to showcase wealth and power as well as to provide extra insulation in drafty castles. They were both art and a craft.

Today, the suite of The Lady and the Unicorn is housed in the Musee de Cluny in Paris. A fitting home for these tapestries and the Cluny mansion was built in the late 1400’s and houses many medieval artifacts like these. I almost missed them entirely on my trip to Paris. I will fully admit that I never thought I would get to Paris. I knew that the tapestries were housed in France, but where in France, I could not have told you where exactly. Because I never thought I’d go, I did not pay much attention to what was actually in Paris other than the famous monuments and the Mona Lisa.

However, I did get to go in April of 2009, during my study abroad. It was a semi-last minute decision. I found out a friend of mine was going to be in Paris and so I asked Erica, a fellow American girl and fantasy book nerd, if she’d like to go with me to Paris to meet up with him. There, I was in Paris enjoying the museums, the history, the culture, the food – they did not lie, they have delicious food. I kept noticing the unicorn tapestries on bags, pillow covers, notebooks, all those touristy things they try to sell you in the gift shops. At first, I dismissed them as just standard French tourist crap that they sell all over the country. When finally, while at the Sainte Chapelle (one of the most gorgeous churches on the planet), I asked a person behind the counter in a curious voice, “Are those tapestries here in Paris?” “Yes.” I am certain they could feel my excitement go from zero to hundred in under 10 seconds, for they seemed a bit alarmed by my enthusiastic and semi-desperate, “Where?” They politely answered, “The Medieval Museum, it is nearby.” And proceeded to give the overly excitable American directions. Luckily for me, Erica being an archeology major had zero objection to my abrupt course correction to the Medieval Museum and we rushed to get there before it closed for the day. Did my feet hurt from walking nearly 15 miles that day? Yes. Did I care? Absolutely, not there were unicorns to see! (We won’t talk about how we couldn’t figure out the darn subway system and walked the entire historical district of the city).

It took most of my self control not to simply rush through the museum to the tapestries, but I respected Erica’s desire to linger over the various pieces of history displayed. I did my best to hold my excitement back, even though I may have been bouncing up and down at the front desk chanting “unicorn” upon entry to the museum. I was twenty-one, child-like displays of youthful enthusiasm were perfectly permissible. Now, I must display my excitement in more subdued expressions or so I’ve been told. Some people are simply no fun.

Finally, we came to the tapestries and they were even more glorious in person than on any page or screen. There are many pieces of art that I have seen in the printed form that I have not found to be all that different or impressive in person leaving me a bit disappointed after the build up. The tapestries were certainly not disappointing in person. Because one can really see each piece of woven thread and appreciate every flower. The magnitude of the work cannot be understated when confronted with the sheer size and detail of this masterpiece. It represents hundreds of hours of work. According to a post from the metropolitan museum of art, a set of six large tapestries would have taken thirty weavers between eight and sixteen months to complete. That is not accounting for the hours of design that went into the cartoon that the weavers would need to produce the tapestry.

To most people reading this, a textile project taking that long is unthinkable, not when you can hop on amazon, buy a woven blanket for 60 bucks and be enjoying it with prime 2 day delivery. A wall hanging in the medieval style can also be yours for about $220 and also be in your home in about two days. A tapestry at the time of their making would be worth thousands in today’s dollars.

Upon entering the dark room, my excitement turned to quiet awe. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of them. I floated to them as if caught in a dream. I cannot say for certain, how long I sat there admiring them, taking in their craftsmanship and cursing my lack of botanical knowledge to identify the plants. I examined each one carefully noting the themes and subtle details. I doubt I said much to my travel companion as I studied them. The pictures never did them justice, how could they? How do you capture in words their beauty and masterful craftsmanship? How do you fully appreciate their vibrant colors and shapes without seeing them in person? A picture loses so much when it’s shrunken down to fit on a page and our imaginations are limited by what we’ve experienced. Too soon, I left them, but there was the rest of Paris to see and far too little time to fully appreciate the City of Lights. Adieu mon amour, perhaps we shall meet again one day.

How can you see tapestries?

Well, you don’t have to hop on a plane to France to see tapestries. There are museums here in the United States that display various tapestries from the Medieval and Renaissance eras. If you are particularly interested in seeing unicorn tapestries after reading me wax poetic about them, there is a set of them at the Cloisters in New York which are governed by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They are a set of seven tapestries, also from around the same period as The Lady and the Unicorn and are in the style of the thousand flowers. Just as with the tapestries in France, these also hold mysteries such as how to interpret the tapestries and even who they were made for. Depending where you are in the country, a plane ride may or may not be necessary.

I highly recommend if you ever get to either New York or Paris, to take time to see these masterpieces. Provided of course such things are of interest to you. You know by now, that I always tell people to skip that which holds no interest or intrigue to them. Life is too short to waste it on things you don’t enjoy.

What a Wonderful World: Cultivating a Vacation Mindset When You’re Not on Vacation

Published on November 26, 2024November 9, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

I think one of the reasons everything seems so much better on a vacation is because we’re able to leave behind the worries, stresses, and responsibilities of everyday life. IWhen I do go on vacation, not only do I leave it behind, I almost always have a “flex” day for when I return, I make sure all bills are paid up early and I make sure my house is spotless before I go. This means that I don’t have to worry about returning to housework, everything is paid for and I still have an extra day where I’m not working. I have an entire day to prepare to “return” to the mundanity of life with all the worries, stresses and responsibilities of everyday life. It also means that I don’t have to begin to prepare to return until after the vacation is completely over thus “protecting” the vacation mindset. Another protection I give myself is having things fairly planned out, with room to change them if the need arises, but having done most of the decision making beforehand means that not even the worry of a decision can possibly bother me.

Sidenote: The flex day is usually spent snuggling my pets who missed me and ensures that I meet their emotional needs after being separated from me. It’s like a whole bonus vacation day and I love absolutely it.

Cat snuggles! My biggest problem is my lap is too small for all my cats!

Because we’re able to “set aside” our “real” lives while away, it means that we are much more able to focus on what’s happening to really enjoy what’s happening in the present and savor those moments. Vacations just feel more fun even if we’re doing an activity that we could arguably do at home.

Consider going to the beach or the lake. A day at the beach or lake nearby is lovely, but what about say going on a cruise and picking a day at a tropical beach. Objectively, a beach is a beach. Sand, check. Water check. Waves check. Yet, in comparison to my last day at the beach on the Atlantic coast vs my day at the beach on my cruise. The cruise one stands out as better. Why? Both trips, I spent time swimming in the water and then laid out under some shade to read my book. Perhaps it was less crowded, but I went to a less crowded beach before. Perhaps, it’s because I didn’t have to lug my chairs and towels. Maybe? Or perhaps it was the mindset I was in. I was mindful to be in the present. It seemed better because I was more relaxed and worry free. I simply was in the moment. All I was concerned about was the beautiful weather, the feel of sand between my toes and the gentle lapping of the waves as I sipped a drink and read. I was in my body in a way that I wasn’t really before.

I would hazard a guess that was the biggest difference, not the location, not the fact that I was on a cruise or whatever else, but my mindset. If I went away for a vacation and life followed me there, I probably would be miserable and perhaps, vow to never visit that location again having associated it with a terrible experience. No wonder we’re all looking to escape to far flung places rather than living where we’re at.

One doesn’t need to be on vacation to enjoy delicious food that with good presentation

So how does one cultivate a vacation mindset while doing things at home, perhaps on the weekend, a single day off or on an evening out? First, you must create some boundaries around those activities. For me, I may schedule a preparation evening the day before. One where I do a more thorough cleaning of the house or at least make sure it’s well straightened up so that when I leave to go do what I want to do, a bunch of housework isn’t lingering behind in my mind’s eye. I may look ahead of upcoming responsibilities such as bills or projects I need to get done and try to get as many of them done beforehand. My alternative is to have on my calendar a block of time dedicated to those activities. I find that when I block out time to get a task done, the stress associated with it diminishes greatly. Mostly because my brain is able to accept it will get done and then not worry about it. It also means disconnecting, airplane mode can be your friend or if you’re too afraid of that because you have children at home and you want to make sure you’re available in an emergency, setting your phone to “Do not Disturb” where you can still get phone calls in an absolute emergency. All of these things help me set a boundary to keep the outside world out of my leisure activities.

By setting a boundary with the rest of the world, it’s much easier to cultivate mindfulness. What do I mean by mindfulness? I mean being fully present in the moment, being aware of the physical realm around you and your own body. One could call it being grounded in your current reality without being distracted by things in the past and the future. This allows you to turn the mundane into something extraordinary. Consider a trip to the farmer’s market. Apparently, this fairly ordinary thing here in Lancaster is a coveted activity by many a tourist and don’t get me started on the “farm to table experience” that people pay an arm and a leg for or as I call it Wednesday night’s dinner.

When I go shopping, I am on a mission. I get in and out as quickly as possible, I have a list, I know where the items are at and I don’t want to spend a single moment lingering. I am busy and I have things to do. A tourist on the other hand, linger. They pick up the fruit and smell it. They admire the textures and colors of the different vegetables. They see the display baskets as quaint, harkening back to the days when all our food was sold in little markets and stands such as this one. They admire the baked goods, mouths almost watering in anticipation. They strike up a conversation with the farmer behind the counter asking curious questions. For them, this is their bucket list experience. For me it’s grocery shopping. The same place, the same activity, two completely different experiences.

A delicious tomato pie from a local farmer! Truly a farm to table experience.

What might I find if I scheduled some extra time in my busy schedule to meander through the aisles? What delights might my eyes see? What smells might make my own mouth water if only I would pay attention? If one can turn grocery shopping into a bucket list experience, what might happen if when one goes to an event like a festival, concert or museum one cultivates this same mindset? As for Wednesday night’s dinner, a trip to Root’s Farmers Market on Tuesday can yield a farm to table experience without the price tag. Buy direct from the farmer at their stand to make in your own kitchen.

If you take time to cultivate moments to be on vacation, even for an afternoon, you will find you are more refreshed and better equipped for the daily inconveniences and stresses of life. It is different than escaping into your phone which is merely a distraction and often fuels negative feelings about yourself. Unless you’ve carefully trained the Instagram algorithm to only show you cat videos – which I have intentionally from day one – scrolling on social media will not help you feel better. Being mindful connects you back to your body, relaxes you and allows you to cultivate moments of joy and gratitude even for simple things like a bushel of tomatoes.

It isn’t about what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it. We can create amazing moments in the ordinary if we only open our eyes to see what a wonderful world we live in.

Murder?! At the Mount Hope Estate!

Published on November 22, 2024September 1, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

I have been remiss, dear reader, in neglecting to tell the dastardly tale of the real beginning of my sister dates. Yes, technically, we did do the chocolate walk in October a few months before the night of the ‘incident”, but it was that very night that the idea itself took off and we determined to make it a monthly outing.

It began of course with an invitation to dinner at the Mount Hope Estate, which the original mansion being built in early 1800’s and later additions in the late 1800’s makes it a unique blend of Federalist and Victorian styles. How apropos when considering the events of the night. At first, my sister lamented being unable to attend without a second guest, what would people say to show up to an event sans escort, but to go with a different gentleman would be quite out of the question for a married woman, such as herself. It of course fell to her sister to chaperone, or rather she could use the excuse to chaperone me her unmarried sister for a bit of fun together.

Now any true society dinner begins with the mingling of the guests to share juicy gossip and tales of one another. Our hosts that night were no different, slipping tantalizing details of the other guests. And such scheming amongst each other as I never did before see. Perhaps, my friends are above such petty squabbles, or perhaps they are simply better at disguising their nefarious ways. Either way, keep your secrets to yourself lest you become the subject of such gossip!

Having thoroughly enjoyed mingling, slowly sipping on wine and engorged ourselves on the latest potential scandals, we were called to be seated four our four course meal. The food was as delightful as the entertainment! A feast for both the eyes and the mouth! My sister and I compared notes from our careful study of the key players for the night. We sensed a plot afoot and we would not be caught out unawares.

Well, we certainly were right in our suspicions for shortly after dinner, came the cries of murder! But who had done it and why? My sister and I only needed to give one another a short nod before jumping into the adventure to help solve the mystery! Naturally, we had to launch an investigation of our own, questioning the key players and making careful observations of the crime scene. Having made our careful inquiries we were certain we knew the culprit! Alas, we were fooled! ‘Tis a good thing, she and I were not official investigators or else an innocent would be locked up and the foul murderer would have escaped!

As it turns out, the play rotates who “done it” so that even if friends share the experience with one another or social media, the night is not entirely spoiled ahead of time. A clever idea on the part of the organizers of the play. Our play was set in the 1940’s, so I donned an outfit to reflect the late 30’s/early 40’s to really help me “get into it”. It really is up to you how much to “lean into” the character of the night.

I’ve done other dinner plays where the play happens around you as part of the process of dinner. While they were enjoyable, the added element of being able to get up to interact with the players as if you were actually part of the story was what elevated the whole experience. Additionally, the backdrop of a murder mystery in the midst of a Victorian mansion was an added bonus, few places can boast of. The mansion is not located among the bustling cities, but rather out in the countryside, surrounded by the fields of grapes for the winery which only added to the more gothic elements of the mystery. And did I mention the food? Mount Hope outdid itself with the food. That alone was worth the ticket price!

So how can you find a murder mystery dinner?

I would suggest starting with google or facebook events to see what places in your area may periodically host one. If you have more than one option then, consider other “enhancements” to the experience. Do you have the option for a gothic Victorian mansion like myself? I certainly recommend thinking through the setting of your play. Is there a time of year that more suits you for mystery and fun, like in October or in the darkness of winter? You can also often see hints of the plot and setting that might strike your fancy more than another.

I certainly encourage you to dress up a little, take on a “part” yourself and have a bit of fun with it. Obviously, don’t be an obnoxious audience member and try to be part of the play itself. Don’t go in stealing all the attention and confusing the other audience members who can’t tell if you’re supposed to be part of the theater trope or not. However, a little more immersion can make your evening more magical.

Completed: March 2017

Miles from home: 11

Cost: $60 per person

I want to Live!

Published on November 19, 2024November 9, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

I want to drink deeply from the cup of life. I want to see the wonders of nature. I want to try new things. I want to challenge myself. I want to grow and change and become a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I want to gain new skills. I want to meet interesting people. I want to see art, appreciate beauty, appreciate architecture and see with new eyes. I want to listen to music that is reminiscent of heaven and speaks to my soul. I want to stay up so late I see the sunrise the next morning. I want to dance and sing without regard to what others think. I want to take candid pictures and post them without filtering or editing. I want to take road trips. I want to be spontaneous. I want to run through the forest. I want to chase fog and make flower crowns. I want to visit coffee shops, browse thrift stores for treasures and explore craft fairs. I want to visit museums and archaeological sites. I want to explore places. I want to simply stop and admire the view. I want to make memories and deepen my relationships with people.

I don’t want to spend my life in regret wondering about the chances I never took. I don’t want to spend hours scrolling through on my phone wishing I could have the life I see on social media. I don’t want to waste my time dreaming of things I can’t afford or do or places I can’t afford to travel to. I don’t want to miss out on the things I could be doing because I was too busy wishing for the things that are out of reach. I don’t want to spend all day with my head in the clouds not minding what is right in front of me. I don’t want to listen to the people telling me that what I am isn’t good enough or that my life isn’t there yet. I don’t want to miss the blessings I have demanding the blessings I don’t have yet. I don’t want to live in fear of what people might think or say or do because of being authentic to myself.

My bucket list isn’t just a checklist, it’s a call to action to remind me that I get to create an adventurous life. It helps push me to keep trying new things and to seek out new experiences. I’m always adding things to my list and revising it. I am constantly on the lookout for opportunities and unexplored areas. I may not always be doing things that people would consider “bucket list worthy”, but they’re moments outside my usual routine whether it’s taking a train ride to do a wine tasting or dying a scarf.

It’s also not about chasing the next thing because life is supposed to have the mundane and the routine. There will be dishes and laundry, there will be days at home with tea and books. There will be lazy mornings snuggling with cats. Those are moments to savor as well which is why adopting a cat is on my list. It’s about living. Whether it be the everyday moments or the extraordinary and all the moments in between.

And more than anything, dear reader, I want to live.

Dance Like No One’s Watching: Dancing to Street Musicians

Published on November 15, 2024September 1, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Maybe it was the music itself that enticed me. Perhaps, it was the wine at dinner. Or maybe it was the allure of Italy itself that wound itself around my legs and compelled me to dance. All I knew was the night was still young as the sky was turning to twilight and the saxophone drew me towards it. What else could I do, but begin to sway and dance to its siren call? As I twirled and danced upon cobblestones, I caught glimpses of the musicians smiling as they played, keeping the song going as I was caught up in its magic spell. My skirt swished gently about my legs, my arms flowed of their own accord. I can still almost hum the low, almost slow almost sensual tune, though in truth it plays along the boundaries of memory, faded with time and unfamiliarity.

To be young and uninhibited again, unbound by the constraints of societal expectations and propriety. To simply find yourself in a place where the music is playing and the urge to dance takes hold. It is not very often one stumbles upon street musicians unless one is in a city, such as Rome, but one must take advantage of such moments. It is one of my favorite memories from my semester abroad because I danced as if I were alone, unconcerned about the crowd or who might be watching. I let myself live freely in the moment, embracing the serendipity of music at twilight.

As it so happens, not only did I delight those playing by my ample appreciation of the music, but also of a nearby photographer. He happened to catch me dancing and was inspired by my boldness. For a short time afterward, I was his muse with a short and impromptu photoshoot in the plaza before the Great Colosseum itself! I unfortunately only have the pictures which were sent on to me and lost the gentleman’s name. But I will forever be grateful for the phenomenal memories he helped preserve. Perhaps, this blog post will find him and I will be able to give him proper credit.

It was not my first foray into impromptu dancing, for I also danced at the spring festival in Marburg in the rain, again much to the delight of the musicians. I may have said only moments ago, “to be young and uninhibited again”, but the truth is, I still am! Uninhibited that is – I’m almost 40, one has to embrace middle age gracefully and not cling to youth in some sort of grotesque fashion. One should not stop dancing to street performers just because one is no longer in one’s 20’s! One should not stop embracing moments of joyful abandon. Is there a song to sing at karaoke? Belt it out! Did you stumble across a public art project inviting you to paint? Join in! Be spontaneous! Embrace your impulses and passions! Be silly! Don’t be afraid to look foolish! Had I not been fearless to dance in the middle of public, it would not have led to a photoshoot in the middle of Rome! How many people can say that of their journeys? Not many? Exactly! Fortune favors the bold after all!

Now dear reader, you may be wondering why this would grace a bucket list as it seems like rather a small thing. Really, dancing on the street of all things to a “lowly” street performer? What sort of standards do you have for your bucket list, you may ask.

First, it’s my blog and I’ll blog what I want to. My list, my rules. You go make your own list with your own rules.

Second, consider how few people would actually be bold or brave enough to do this? How many of them hold back? Does it even occur to them to dance? Or have they been so conditioned against any sort of unauthorized or predesignated fun that they don’t even think to dance? Have you, dear reader, ever acted with such impulsive abandon? For me this was about living without fear or anyone’s judgements. A life well lived includes doing things off the beaten path, allowing your passions and impulses to occasionally run riot. I love music and I love dancing, why should I deny the urge to embrace life when it so fervently invites me to its arms?

Besides, when you do embrace life not only do you bring delight to yourself, but also you bring joy to other people. In my hometown, there is a young man who frequently goes out dressed as a templar knight. His reasons are his own, but he started to become a bit of a celebrity. People are posting sightings of him. They’re excited to see him. It brings us joy. I love that there’s someone out there just living his best life as a templar knight! There’s another town in Canada where a man walks around with a giant carrot and people LOVE it. There’s stories of people passing out flower crowns or leaving chalk art on the sidewalk of their neighbors to bring them joy. The world needs our whimsy dear reader!

Sidenote: Before doing chalk art, check your local ordinances as in some towns this may be illegal – some places really have outlawed fun!

All of these are stories of people doing something a little impulsive and making the world a better, more magical place because of it. The third reason is that it made my trip to Rome that much more memorable. Consider how many travel stories seem to consist of the same things, especially such destinations as Rome. Don’t get me wrong there is a reason people go to the same places and see the same things, it would be silly to go to Rome as a tourist and eschew the Colosseum as plebeian because everyone goes to Rome to see it. But this punctuated my week-long trip with a truly memorable experience, it made the Colosseum special to me. When I think about the Colosseum, I think about dancing! I strain to recall that haunting tune. For a moment, I am back there. If we don’t authentically express ourselves out in the world, what are we even doing? Are we really deeply experiencing life or just pretending to?

How can you dance like no one’s watching?

If you are interested in replicating the magic of impromptu dancing, the best way is to use your ears. Pay attention to your surroundings. Obviously if you visit a city, you are much more likely to encounter the stray musician. Be sure to pack along a few dollars to show your appreciation if you are intending on seeking out someone to dance to. However, I will admonish you to not seek this out specifically. After all, half the fun is stumbling about it naturally to let the music extend its hand with a flirtatious invitation to join it. Then by all means accept the invitation, let it embrace you in its arms and let go.

The principle of course is to be open to serendipity and to take advantage of the opportunities that arise. When a creative opportunity presents itself, meet it head on, boldly and passionately. Dive in with careless abandon. After all, a life well lived is one with passion and risk. Not every boldly taken action will end well. You may be booed off stage of the open mic comedy club. You may be told afterward you sang worse than a braying donkey. But that’s okay! In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts….The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.” Do not content yourself with sitting on the sidelines dear reader! Enter the arena of life and dance as if no one was watching!

Completed: Spring 2009

Miles from home: 4,371 (though this can be completed almost anywhere)

Cost: Serendipity is free

Poisonous Path Not Taken

Published on November 12, 2024December 21, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

No one ever wins the game, “what could have been”, but we all play it to our own demerament. The game “what could have been” is when we sit and think about the path not taken. The “one who got away”, the degree not pursued, the job offer you didn’t take, the house you didn’t buy or the trip you didn’t go on. It is usually when we are sitting in regret for not taking that path and say “if only I had….” Indeed, if only you had and then life would be wonderful! That, dear reader, is the dangerous and poisonous trap.

You see when we play this game, we only ever present ourselves with the idealized version of events had we only made a different choice. I should probably write a post later about the choices we make since I keep saying it, but life is full of choices and saying yes to one thing means no to others. We choose to give up something to take a given path, often more than one thing. If we pursue a higher degree we may land our dream job and make lots of money, we may also find ourselves drowning in student debt working at McDonald’s. Rarely do we consider the second part when playing “what could have been.” We only think of the best possible outcome of the path not taken, dreaming that if we had just done something slightly different we would have a life that frankly was probably never in the cards to begin with.

I had a wonderful co-worker who was quite talented in the social services field. She was arguably better than most people with their master’s given the amount of additional training and experience she had. Unfortunately, without that degree her job prospects were limited and her salary was less than it should have been for what she brought to the table. It was to her deep regret that she did not finish school. However, she shared that she had in part chosen not to pursue a career in order to support her husband’s children in their blended family. They needed additional support and because of her pouring herself into them, they turned out wonderfully. They are successful young men and women who love and adore her.

I reassured her that at the time of the decision she could have no idea that the job market would be so demanding of a higher degree and that she made the best possible decision for her and her family in those moments. I told her that she has no idea the positive impact that her presence in the family brought and what horrible things may have happened if she pursued her higher education which would have required her to sacrifice the extra time and attention she gave those children. I told her she has no idea if the gamble would have paid off or if she would have been stuck with debt or how it would have impacted the dynamics of the home. Perhaps, those children would have gotten into drugs or joined a gang without her love, care and support (a possibility in the city she lived in). Would she be sitting in an office today, wishing she had made a different choice and cursing herself for not staying home?

Much like in the movie it’s a Wonderful Life, we have no idea how the choices we make effect the world around us and how without those choices the world may actually be far darker.

That “dream” home may have been a money pit or a financial stressor that ruined you. That vacation you didn’t go on, maybe would have been the place of a freak accident that left you without a leg. That job that you didn’t take may have been the most toxic work environment that you ever experienced. Yes, it may have led to a magical land of happiness, but look around you, do you know anyone who is truly happy? If so, then I will ask you to look closer at them, are they happy because of a dream life or for some other reason? The Kardarasians are arguably one of the most successful families in America and I don’t need to watch their show to know they are miserable. They spend their lives creating endless drama for our entertainment and that sounds like a gilded hell. How many celebrities have completed suicide or turned to drugs to numb their pain? How many people regret getting married? How many single people long for it?

You accomplish nothing sitting up and thinking up a fantasy life for paths not taken. It only leads to regret for a life that you do not have and for one that may have never existed no matter what choices you made. You cannot change the path that has already been taken. The only possible way is forward to make the best choices you can in the moment with the information that you have. Living our best lives means living this life and making this one the best one we can with the tools at our disposal not trying to live a life that can never be. Do not play what could have been, dear reader, for it is a game you will never win.

Celebrating the Journey and Looking Back on Accomplishments: My LCSW

Published on November 8, 2024October 6, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Having recently celebrated another journey around the globe, it seems like a good time to reflect back on life milestones that I have accomplished. After all a birthday is a milestone that we mark off each year. As we get older, birthdays can become times of existential dread. Time has passed and we may becoming overly focused on all the things we haven’t accomplished. Maybe we got married, but we still don’t have children. Or maybe you had kids but never got to school. Maybe you went to school and launched a successful career but never got around to tying the knot. We can become so overly focused on all the things we still haven’t done, that I think we should make sure to celebrate the things we have accomplished. Hence my reverse bucket list and this blog – by writing things here it helps keep me focused on the positives to build on them rather than allow myself to get bogged down in the quagmire of unfilled dreams.

Now most big milestones of life are usually things like marriages, birth of children, graduations, professional accomplishments, etc. That isn’t to say those are things we must do or should do. For some people none of those things are things they want to pursue and good for them! A life milestone for them may be adopting a pet, starting a non-profit, backpacking solo through Asia. As always, dear reader, embrace your own journey and individual inklings.

When going through my Reverse Bucket List, it was a natural thing to include my education and professional development as past items worthy to celebrate. Higher Education is often something that graces people’s Bucket List and for good reason. It is one way for an individual to develop themselves professionally and have opportunities open to what one hopes is a better path forward. As many in my generation can attest, a degree is not a promise of success, it is merely opening the door to possibilities that would otherwise be closed.

High School Graduation: The start of the journey

There are also many paths to education after high school including trade schools, certificates, and even self-taught skills. College isn’t for everyone depending on their own personal goals. If you desire to have your own plumbing business, getting a degree in engineering may contain useful information a plumber would need, but it’s not going to help you with that goal. My goal was to become a therapist, so I knew that I would need to obtain a higher education in order to achieve the goal. The education piece was part of the journey, not necessarily the goal in and of itself.

Over the course of almost 13 years, I obtained a dual undergraduate degree in Psychology and German, completed my MSW program, and successfully sat for two licensing exams, first the LSW and then the LCSW. Not only did I graduate from these programs, I graduated with honors or if you’re feeling fancy “cum laude”. The LCSW represents the long journey to achieve one of the highest levels of expertise and competency in my chosen field. Completing it took thousands of supervised clinical hours, continuing education credits, studying, attending classes and commitment. There were times when I did consider not completing it, wondering if it was really worth it. However, I knew the opportunities it would open up once I got it, more so than any degree or certificate I had yet obtained.

I think it’s important to celebrate not only the achievement of an end goal, but also all the smaller goals in between. When we reflect on the journey, we can appreciate how that journey enriched our lives, potentially more so than the goal itself. Going to college was more than just the knowledge gained, though I certainly gained a solid foundation at Messiah College with regards to my profession. I went through rigorous coursework, taught by phenomenal professors who truly cared about my development as a budding mental health professional.

In addition, college was an experience of living on my own, having additional responsibilities and freedoms, navigating different social systems and expanding my world views. For the first time, I was regularly interacting face to face with people who came from not only all over America but all over the world. I found myself challenged and stretched in unexpected ways. I learned to look at things from a different perspective. I formed tight-knit bonds with my circle of friends, who while I may not see very often, the moment we get together again, it is as if no time has passed. Part of my undergrad experience was the opportunity to live and study in another country for five months (post on that later). My semester abroad is something I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Walking across the stage to stand in collective triumph at the end of college, with all my friends and classmates who took the journey with me, is a moment that will stay forever in my mind. I still remember the pride in my sister’s eyes as she hugged me close to say, you did it and how grateful I was that my mom got to see that moment when only four years before in my freshman year I got the phone call that she was in the hospital with a stroke. I was filled with excitement and hope for the future. I had dreams of what my life was about to become.

A lot of those dreams didn’t exactly pan out. Graduating into the recession made life difficult and a lot of the projected decent jobs that I was told would be there when I entered the workforce, were gone. The original plan was to get a good job and work towards paying my student loans down before going back to graduate school. The economy had different ideas. After two years of working at a low paying but enjoyable job with autistic children, I decided to apply for graduate school and get my higher education. Honestly, had the pay been decent for an undergraduate degree, I probably would have never left that job. I loved working with those kids! However, despite requiring a degree it paid about the same amount as someone with only a high school diploma with zero prospects of a decent raise, so I choose to go back to school.

Unlike college, my experience in grad school was more a frantic run than a journey I took the time to savor. There was no room for extra things like Japanese Culture Club, Swing Dancing, Irish Step Dancing, Fencing or Flags. There wasn’t even time for making friends. I worked and went to school, both keeping me busy during most of my waking hours. Rather than invest in social relationships of grad school, I choose to simply maintain the ones I had. However, lest it seem that the experience was less glamorous than my undergrad, the highlight of my graduate experience was my internships and my discovery of macro level social work.

Two amazing gentlemen that I had the privilege of working with in Haiti

I had the privilege of being the American contact for a non-profit committed to assisting young men and women in Haiti obtain a higher education and improve their job prospects. I worked with about 20 young men and my Haitian counterparts Daniel and Lubin to develop the education program, coordinate with the American educational resources and encourage the students. I even spent a week down there meeting with the students and providing professional development workshops. My second internship was helping to plan and implement a Golf & Gala Fundraiser for orphans in Africa. My final internship was helping to run an emergency winter shelter for homeless women in my local city.

After graduate school, I sat for my LSW exam and passed. It would be another 7 years before I finally had the necessary 3,000 hours of clinical supervision and could sit for my LCSW. In that time, I was a Family Therapist, a coordinator of another Homeless Shelter and a coordinator of a housing program for individuals with disabilities. In the summer of 2023, I was able to sit for the exam and passed with flying colors. From the time I decided to become a therapist in my senior year of high school, I finally could call myself a LCSW after almost 17 years. Naturally, my family and I celebrated this achievement.

imagejpeg_0(1)-16237375143676847920 — Proudly holding my LCSW license at my job

The journey was not an easy one. There were many setbacks and delays with going to grad school and finding a clinical supervisor resulting in almost 6 years “lost”. However, I wouldn’t call them truly lost or wasted. I have always trusted the path that was before me and that despite everything, it was the one I was meant to walk. There were reasons for the delays and setbacks, skills I needed to develop, lessons I had to learn, experiences I had to have and perhaps, people I needed to meet.

How can you celebrate your own professional journey?

Take time to reflect on your accomplishments! Toot your own horn! Be proud of all the things you’ve done! Obviously, dear reader, if you got a degree, you should look on that for the accomplishment that it is. However, if you did not, there is still much to celebrate. One of the most successful people I ever had the privilege of knowing never got her college degree, yet she started a non-profit, ran a successful hospitality business, started a consulting business, runs an annual fundraiser for charity, recently sold her business for well over a million dollars and started up another one. She has been a vice-president of operations of an international company, an actress, model and more. There are so many different careers and journeys out there each with their own measurements of competency, expertise and success.

Regardless of whether you’ve gotten a degree or not, it is important to remember your own measure of achievement. What the world says is a mark of achievement and what you want to actually obtain, might be different things. It’s your life; you only get to live it once, so you get to set your own professional goals and what it means to obtain them. Only you know what it took to get to this point in your life. Only you know the personal struggles that you had to overcome and all the small victories along the way that got you here. Celebrate your journey and look to the future!

Completed: LCSW Obtained July 2023

LSW Obtained July 2016

Master of Social Work magna cum laude Obtained May 2016

Bachelor’s of Psychology & Bachelor’s of German cum laude Obtained 2010

Miles from home: A Reverse Bucket List can be completed at home. I wrote out a whole list of items, but to do a deeper dive, I recommend journaling about them, like my blog post above.

Cost: For purposes of a Budget Bucket List Reverse Bucket List Items are free as they are celebrating past achievement.

However, full disclosure is in order – Going to school is expensive, the average student debt for college degree & master’s degree is $71,000 and my debt was about this average. My graduate school was less than an hour from my house and my college was about an hour and fifteen minutes from home, so still close to home.

I highly recommend that if you are considering school or other post-secondary education, to research carefully the projected job market of your chosen field, the starting salaries and the cost of living in your area.

What a Wonderful World: Cultivating a Vacation Mindset When You’re Not on Vacation

Published on November 5, 2024September 21, 2024 by BudgetBlissLeave a comment

Cat snuggles at the end of a vacation away is the purrrrrfect welcome home

Photo by Daniel Moises Magulado on Pexels.com

If you take time to cultivate moments to be on vacation, even for an afternoon, you will find you are more refreshed and better equipped for the daily inconveniences and stresses of life. It is different than escaping into your phone which is merely a distraction and often fuels negative feelings about yourself. Unless you’ve carefully trained the instagram algorithm to only show you cat videos – which I have intentionally from day one – scrolling on social media will not help you feel better. Being mindful connects you back to your body, relaxes you and allows you to cultivate moments of joy and gratitude even for simple things like a bushel of tomatoes.

It isn’t about what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it. We can create amazing moments in the ordinary if we only open our eyes to see what a wonderful world we live in.